RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (Full Version)

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sambamanslilgirl -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 6:48:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

I'd be curious as to how many of the people that say, "No response is a response," have ever taken the time to write out a curtious letter to someone only to never hear from them, and how many of them that this has happened to weren't , honestly, at least a little miffed at being snubbed after taking the time to write a decent letter.


when i was searching, there were a couple of dominants that caught my eye from here and i wrote a nice, medium size messages to them.  i was polite and respectful - asking them questions about their profiles ...trying to incite some sort of conversation out of them. but guess what i got - not a "thanks but not thanks" message just a "no response" as their response from them.

so even dominants are guilty of doing this.




missturbation -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 7:08:36 AM)

I usually don't respond to mail that holds no interest for me. Mail such as on your knees bitch, hi and basically anyone i would not be interested in, even if they have written me a really nice mail. Usually my 'no response' is that and i hear no more from these people. Occasionally however i get 'answer me' 'you have read my mail but not replied bithc' and other assortments. These i again ignore. I always assume that by not answering i have basically said 'im not interested'.
 
Recently though i decided to try replying to every mail i am sent. So i have. Mostly with the mails already provided, the thankyou, the involved etc. Most have read my response and left it at that but a few well they have berated me and my profile. Fair enough i can take it.
 
I don't really think it matters whether you reply or not, you will always be rude to some for not replying. You will always be rude to some for replying or the manner you choose to reply in. You can't actually win.




WyldHrt -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 7:36:59 AM)

quote:

Mail such as on your knees bitch

I got a lovely one this morning announcing that I was to be this Dom's "piece of white slave meat" to be used, abused, and bred.

Gee, can I???[8D]




OsideGirl -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 7:46:21 AM)

Well...my profile says, "Just here for the forums". My response when people contact me for the purpose of forming a connection is to reiterate what my profile says.

The first email said "If you were my sub, could you handle this?" with a bunch of links to some porn site. I reiterated that I'm just here for the forums, which I figure is more polite than "What the fuck is wrong with you? Can't you read?"

The second email started with "Slut" said the same thing, included even more links and then asked for my thoughts. I'm reasonably sure that he regretted asking for my thoughts.

The majority of emails that I get are people that ignore the "Just here for the forums". They've been rude enough to completely ignore what my profile says and then get upset when they don't get the response they want.




WyldHrt -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 7:49:30 AM)

quote:

The first email said "If you were my sub, could you handle this?" with a bunch of links to some porn site.

You should have insulted his taste in porn. He doesn't write back when you do that.

*Hands OsideGirl her "porn guy" merit badge* [:D]




NuevaVida -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 7:51:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003

I'd be curious as to how many of the people that say, "No response is a response," have ever taken the time to write out a curtious letter to someone only to never hear from them, and how many of them that this has happened to weren't , honestly, at least a little miffed at being snubbed after taking the time to write a decent letter.




Other than a couple of unanswered apologies, no, I haven't been miffed by this, and it's happened. I don't hold people I don't know to expectations that they don't know I'm holding them to.




SirCyril -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 11:26:15 AM)

I believe what the op is saying here is if you are not interested, at least be polite eneough to say "thanks, but no thanks".  Simple as that.  Now I wonder what would occur if it was reversed.  Say a sub/slave was to contact a Dom/Master first and he was not interested but did not respond to her email. 

SirCyril




sublizzie -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 11:34:12 AM)

It happens all the time, SirCyril, it's just that submissives don't complain about it as much as Dominants and Tops do.




Cyis75 -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 12:17:18 PM)

I can understand not bothering to respond at all to the obviously rude, crude and form letters... I wouldn't bother either myself.

While seeing a message deleted unread is an obvious answer just seeing that a message has been read without and response does not. I personally don't try to assume anything given what that usually ends up doing. There are many reasons why someone might not respond back, the could be flooded with messages or busy in their everyday life and only had time to read it at that point in time. I know I've read emails from my cell phone but being as it's a pain to respond on it I would wait till later to reply back.

To expand on my earlier posting, I only speak for myself, but when I get a 'no thanks' reply I go ahead and leave a note on the profile and then hide it so I don't see it again. I do send one last reply back to them thanking them and that I'll not bother them any further. I guess I could give out the names of every profile in my 'hidden' list and you could ask them, but that's besides the point and it'd be a small list given how few do respond with a 'no thanks'... For me I see it as a time saving tactic... I don't wish to waste my time trying to speak with someone that's obviously not interested in it, but I'm also not a mind reader so I don't know unless I'm informed. Again goes back to not assuming anything.

I don't know of anyone else that handles things like I do, that's just who I am... but there is always a clear difference between replying back to a rude 'on your knees bitch' email (which frankly I have to wonder if that ever garners any success) and a personalized email making specific inquires regarding the recipients profile. That said just as I use the 'hide user' feature there is always the 'block' feature that can be used when the polite 'no thank you' is rebuked. I have only once blocked someone because they got rude but I use the hide feature liberally so I don't bother those that obviously have no interest and have let me know such.




funnelgag -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/15/2008 10:10:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterChip2008
My advise to all Masters and Mistresses, if you get a message from someone outside of your own country, simply do not reply, its most likely a 'con-game' to simply get your money.


reckon you used enough dynamite there, Butch?




OsideGirl -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/16/2008 7:29:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirCyril

I believe what the op is saying here is if you are not interested, at least be polite eneough to say "thanks, but no thanks".  Simple as that. 
The problem is that is is rarely "Simple as that".

"No, thank you" tends to lead to: 1) 50 emails telling you why you're wrong and you should reconsider 2) A guy that ignores that you said no and just continues as if you said yes or 3) some scathing insult e.g: "you're ugly anyway", "you're a fake living in a fantasy world" or lastly, "No Dom would want you anyway".

Trust me when I say that the fact that I don't respond is a learned response and it's because of your fellow male "Dominants".




osocurious -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/16/2008 9:27:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirCyril

I believe what the op is saying here is if you are not interested, at least be polite eneough to say "thanks, but no thanks".  Simple as that. 
The problem is that is is rarely "Simple as that".

"No, thank you" tends to lead to: 1) 50 emails telling you why you're wrong and you should reconsider 2) A guy that ignores that you said no and just continues as if you said yes or 3) some scathing insult e.g: "you're ugly anyway", "you're a fake living in a fantasy world" or lastly, "No Dom would want you anyway".

Trust me when I say that the fact that I don't respond is a learned response and it's because of your fellow male "Dominants".


*nods in complete and asbsolute Total Agreement!!!*
...uhhhh huh ...  what OsideGirl just said!!

so far, the strongest lesson CM has taught me is NOT to skip innocently, and blindly along the D/s path ... but rather to walk with open eyes and pick my way carefully!!
Also ...that even a submissive has the right to "choose" [;)] 




funnelgag -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/16/2008 10:58:52 AM)

yes, I think the non-response as mentioned by OsideGirl, is often the best and definitely the most practical response.

I never ignore messages (unless they are rude...which is a very seldom occurrence).  But i imagine that it's different for males - we don't tend to get messages (i.e. uninitiated communication). 

I cannot begin to imagine the sheer volume of messages that females have to deal with.  Plus in many cases, the rudeness of many people.  I imagine one has to have an efficient way of dealing with such a volume of messages in your inbox each time you come in here.  Otherwise you'd spend your entire time dealing with messages. 






Marion001 -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/16/2008 2:30:27 PM)

a slaves duty is to serve....

not you. they dont know you. its your honor to have a slave or sub serve you. it is the utmost of rudeness to expect them to serve you when they dont know you and you haven't earned their respect. just because you say that you are a master doesnt mean that you have the right to expect anything from them. not to mention, its much politer to let the subs come to you.




xxblushesxx -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/23/2008 12:24:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ncprincess

I have a rule book *flips to page 10* it states...."ncprincess is unowned and will reply/not reply to whomever she wishes". *flips to page 12* also states "there is a fine line between a Dom/Master and an obnoxious asshole, be sure to note the difference."


[sm=rofl.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=rofl.gif]




RainydayNE -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/23/2008 12:35:01 PM)

as a sub, my submission is to my Dom, not to any random other person who sends me a message
my duty to serve is to him, not anyone else
so i don't think you can rightly expect that ALL subs will grovel at your feet and reply to everything you write
i've gotten some creepy messages before but there's no reason to carry on a negative feeling to a new person.
don't think it hurts to be polite to everyone initially but if they become belligerent with you or something like that, you have to stick up for yourself. and outright submission to a random email just because i identify as sub? nope




scottjk -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/23/2008 12:41:34 PM)

Interesting responses, but....

What would be simpler?

1. Respond politely and be read to use the "block" function?
2. Be rude and not respond at all. (Also includes the "block" function if the initial contact was rude.)

However, to be fair to the ladies, being buried in emails does imply some method of filtering is required.

Personally, I don't feel it's rude that a sub/slave doesn't respond to me at all. I view it as simply time management. Responding to those out of hundreds that interest you is simply the best course. Personally, I would enjoy some contact and conversation, but we all don't get what we want, do we? :)





GreedyTop -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/23/2008 12:49:55 PM)

*tacklesmooches Christina!!* Where've you been, sweetheart??




xxblushesxx -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/23/2008 4:50:50 PM)

Gropes the Greedy Groper...

In a fussy old classroom buried in musty law books.

And, well, you know...tied up...

*wink*




GreedyTop -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/23/2008 4:54:13 PM)

so glad to see you! 




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