RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (Full Version)

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Icarys -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 12:51:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

actually, Icarys... I do usually reply to polite emails.  I've actually continued corresponding with a few of those folks. I guess the way I decide whether to respond or not is based on the persons profile.  I cant pinpoint exactly it is that would make me decide against responding.. call it a gut feeling, I suppose, that if I DO respond then I feel that the thanksnothanks will get the vitriol.
Have I missed out on corresponding with some great people? Could be.  But thats the same chance I take when I turn someone down for a date.

So you've judged them without saying anything. If it works for you, fine by me. It's still rude as I see it.. I think someone else sated earlier that we are all humans behind the monitors? It works for the Dominants also. Your still being rude to another Human being. whether Dominant or submissive.



Icarys -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 12:54:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

ORIGINAL: Icarys

If it's a polite email. I'd say yes. Works on both sides as far as I'm concerned.


Who else has missed this?



I'd have to say that many missed what you were saying..or what I see you as having said:

To not respond to a polite email, is rude.

I happen to agree with you and I would have to guess that I respond to 99% of the non crude emails sent to me simply because I consider 'No thanks etc etc' to be polite behavior.
There are a rare few occasions where I do ignore an email though, I admit that sometimes I just don't feel like emailing any response however I usually do that out of tiredness and feel a bit bad for being rude.

Manners are important to me and my world, it really takes very little effort to hit reply with 'No thank you'. Not that I've time it but its probably not much more time than hitting delete or block.


On the flip side there are more people (IMO) that feel the opposite way, that since there is no obligation then the effort needn't be made.
I make the effort for a myriad of reasons yet realize I'm in the minority.



Exactly.



GreedyTop -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 12:54:34 PM)

ok.. say I'm walking down the street.. some guy approaches me, and something about him just doesnt sit right to me.. he says hello.  Am I rude to ignore him and keep walking? Or should I acknowledge him which may encourage him to keep talking to me (while my skin is crawling and my gut is saying that theres something WRONG?)



ShatteredSoul123 -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 12:58:01 PM)

Well I didn't answer your questions directly I suppose so I will do that now :o)

First of all, hardly anyone has a broad view of what works for them. They want what they want. To settle for less defeats the purpose of this lifestyle... Be yourself in all that you do... including picking a partner

However as I have already said, at the same time you have to realize that others views are different. What works for you does not always work for them. (its exactly like I said in my christian example).

by being able to interact with these people and calmly discuss your differences without bashing each others views you are instantly broadening your views, ideas, definitions, and many other things.

Now in saying that, and in re-reading this thread, and the authors postings on another thread, I think others need to take this advise before he himself does.



Icarys -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 12:58:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

ok.. say I'm walking down the street.. some guy approaches me, and something about him just doesnt sit right to me.. he says hello.  Am I rude to ignore him and keep walking? Or should I acknowledge him which may encourage him to keep talking to me (while my skin is crawling and my gut is saying that theres something WRONG?)

Could you be in danger by responding no thanks in an email lol. Don't start reaching.



GreedyTop -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:03:33 PM)

My point was, Icarys, that if my gut niggles at me that there's something off about someone, then why in gods name should I open myself to the negativity I feel it is likely to start? 



lemmebeYourMine -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:05:10 PM)

GT, I'd have said hi, and kept on walking, I am not suggesting walk closer, turn and follow him, or hold up a decent conversation of any sort. By acknowledging the Hello, and responding in kind, How is that putting yourself in danger. Maybe it's an IOWA thing, cuz I don't get the ignore bypassers who greet you with a simple Hi thing.

Also agrees with what Icarys said and would if I got the creepy stranger walking down the street bit, which I am admitting I just don't.

Round here, someone smiles at you, says hello. You smile back, and at least nod to their greeting if not respond Hello back. Maybe I'm just naive.

Lemmebe.



GreedyTop -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:07:25 PM)

ok, must just be me then.  Guess I'm rude.  Oh well.



DesFIP -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:08:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

Could you be in danger by responding no thanks in an email lol. Don't start reaching.



Physically no, emotionally yes. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and have had attacks set off by some of those "I hope you get raped with a bowie knife and slowly killed by a pack of feral dog" emails. You don't get to define harm, or how much harm anyone else should welcome or accept.

Besides, I could decide that it is officially rude to send someone an email when they don't know you and they are trying to sell you something (themselves). By that standard, the op is rude for writing all those women.

And if we decide to hard limit responding to "kneel bitch", then it is rude of you to try to get us to break that hard limit.



Icarys -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:09:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

My point was, Icarys, that if my gut niggles at me that there's something off about someone, then why in gods name should I open myself to the negativity I feel it is likely to start? 

Because you don't have the first actual clue if your right and it's such a small piece of energy you'll need to exert in order to say "no thanks". If your afraid of getting insulted then maybe you should never talk to anyone..you'll be safe then?

We will not see eye to eye on this..Nothing your gonna say is going to change my view that it's rude. No justification or excuse. If you want to be that way..more power to ya. It's your choice.(shrugs)



HalfShyHalfWild -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:11:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

ok, must just be me then.  Guess I'm rude.  Oh well.


I'll sit down at the rude table with you cause I feel pretty much as you do.



GreedyTop -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:11:33 PM)

it is indeed my choice, and I will continue to trust my gut instincts (which have really never steered me wrong).



Raechard -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:12:12 PM)

I hope people are reporting these messages they get.



JustDarkness -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:12:30 PM)

I have to agree with Icarys if we let the assholes decide how we respond to nice people, then we end in a very unpleasant world.
Because we already get examples on here, that are not virtual anymore, but happen in real life.

And propably tomorrow we complain that our neighbour doesn't say "good morning"

and ofcourse the rape messages are sick, they should be reported as mentioned before.
But I am sure most are less voilent...at least I hope so.


bit different from messages. But what I find weird is that people post questions or ask help in a journal. You reply or help...and they don't respond.
Messages in a profile can be unwanted. But a reply to your own question, would be decent to reply too.



GreedyTop -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:15:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HalfShyHalfWild

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

ok, must just be me then.  Guess I'm rude.  Oh well.


I'll sit down at the rude table with you cause I feel pretty much as you do.



Welcome :)

And Des made some excellent points as well.. who are we (generic) to decide what is hurtful to another? I've got a fairly thick skin (the fat cow etc comments usually make me laugh).. but I don't care for having that kind of negativity in my life.. I have to deal with it enough away from the computer. *shrug*  If someone gets their panties in a wad because I dont answer their email... then they've got more issues than my *ahem* rudeness.



catize -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:16:36 PM)

Fast Reply
 
I believe I have the right to decide if it is a ‘polite’ email or not.  I don’t consider one word as polite. (hi, or owned? come to mind.)  Today I got one that said “I want you to say hello to me.”  Perhaps it is ‘my issue’ but it bordered on being an order, not a request.
Trust me, by not responding I am being much more polite than if I wrote back with the sharp retort that is always my first inclination. 



Icarys -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:17:00 PM)

quote:

we let the assholes decide how we respond to nice people


Don't you sorta wind up being what you hate about them in the end lol.



JustDarkness -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:19:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

we let the assholes decide how we respond to nice people


Don't you sorta wind up being what you hate about them in the end lol.



could you explain what you mean?

I meant..in short...if you meet one asshole..will you call the next person an asshole too...or will you give him a chance?
It seesm people ignore messages in general...because of past problems. Meaning...they don't give decent messages a chance.



Icarys -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:21:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: HalfShyHalfWild

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

ok, must just be me then.  Guess I'm rude.  Oh well.


I'll sit down at the rude table with you cause I feel pretty much as you do.



Welcome :)

And Des made some excellent points as well.. who are we (generic) to decide what is hurtful to another? I've got a fairly thick skin (the fat cow etc comments usually make me laugh).. but I don't care for having that kind of negativity in my life.. I have to deal with it enough away from the computer. *shrug*  If someone gets their panties in a wad because I dont answer their email... then they've got more issues than my *ahem* rudeness.

I don't get upset with it myself. I know how people are. If someone has this type of mentality towards some of the simplest forms of kindness, they are doing me a favor by not responding.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: WHY NO POLITE RESPONSES??? (10/12/2008 1:22:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness


And propably tomorrow we complain that our neighbour doesn't say "good morning"




Actually, I -have- complained that my neighbor(s) didn't/don't say good morning [;)]-- one place that we lived in, the neighbors on one side of us actually would look out the door to make sure that we were not leaving at the same time before they'd step out the door. I found that exceptionally rude -- then again, I didn't have high expectations, so I just bitched about it when it came time to decide on a new place to live, so that we wouldn't choose that same environment to live in again.

CFB



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