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RE: Fears - 12/12/2005 3:04:59 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		Fearing something doesn't mean it won't happen to you.

If it kills you, chances are you won't care at that point.

If you live through it ... well, you have something that you can say you lived through.

I hope I've posted enough that people will know that I don't mean this as arrogant or egotisitcal. There are lots of things I lothe, avoid and even dread. There are many desires I have for life, that I will feel empty and lost if at least some of them don't come true.

Fear though? No thanks ...

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Fears - 12/12/2005 3:13:55 PM   
Tine11


Posts: 423
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline 		I fear that i acutally might commet follow throught with sucide one day.

_____________________________

The world is like a shinning diamond.
The way it gitters if you polish it right.
If the light should turn and leave you blinded.
Take the dream and give it one more try.

Soulburn, Masterplan

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Fears - 12/12/2005 3:15:01 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I hope I've posted enough that people will know that I don't mean this as arrogant or egotisitcal.


/shakes head no

No, I, for one, would not take that as egotistical or arrogant.

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Fears - 12/12/2005 6:24:19 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

He was not burned until much later. Incidently, that too touched one of my hot buttons. You see, I was medically discharged from the Corps after being badly burned by a white phosphorus grenade.

What happened was she broke her leg making a bad landing in the desert and he left her saying he was going for help, but because of his arrogance and stupidity he was interned, leaving her to die slowly and in agony from thirst.

Some love story!

JohnWarren


i am terribly sorry for Your suffering, Sir. i assume this was Vietnam; the black hole of morals and purpose and young men's lives?

i swear, i am thinking of a different movie than You. i'll get "The English Patient" and watch it again. If You're right about the ending (and naturally i expect You are) then You're right; it's a horror story.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 12/12/2005 6:25:53 PM >

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Fears - 12/12/2005 7:08:51 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i swear, i am thinking of a different movie than You. i'll get "The English Patient" and watch it again. If You're right about the ending (and naturally i expect You are) then You're right; it's a horror story.



It isn't the ending. The scene I talked about was in the middle of the movie.

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(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Fears - 12/12/2005 7:37:12 PM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline
quote:

If it kills you, chances are you won't care at that point.


Got ya! I'm not afraid of things that'll kill you right away either. Not plane crashes, nuclear war ... well.... :( But, fire, burns..... my skin is crawling now! ....eeeeek.

I guess suffering in general ( for myself, loved ones, the world) is my worst fear.

I fear never finding "true" love.

sad fawne

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Fears - 12/12/2005 11:36:29 PM   
Chris123


Posts: 22
Joined: 11/3/2005
Status: offline 		Stagnation. Unfullfillment.

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Fears - 12/12/2005 11:49:33 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		being trapped. Being trapped, stuck, not being able to get out or away. Not being able to save myself. Being trapped, stuck and something horrible happening. One of my biggest issues with bondage. Unable to "save myself" if something did happen. Trying to explain it to the one putting you in bondage.. and trying to explain why you're anxiety was going up and only being able to answer about why you're scared is "anything could happen"

You could be bound, and some one breaks in, comes crashing through your door, Granted the dominant around would protect you best they could.. but what if its more then one breaking in? You are bound, helpless and whatever is going to happen you ARENT able to stop it.

yeah, i'd say i hate that more then anything in the world. Being trapped.

one of my favorite sayins was "the worst you can do is kill me"

and then i met a sadist.... LMAO

but trapped, bound, helpless.. exposed, vulnerable.. ug.. ever seen some one go absolutely wild and lilterally break their bonds with pure adrenaline.. or lift 200 some odd pounds off of them? Being "trapped" can throw me instantly into survival mode.

but making great strides in getting over it. But still.. i HATE IT, i hate it i hate it.

(in reply to Chris123)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Fears - 12/22/2005 3:04:10 PM   
MasterLark


Posts: 249
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne

2.Conflicted Doms who are fearful of integrating their dominance, sexuality, desire for control etc. with their "nice guy" image of themselves. I know they can do it: be a bad ass top and a good guy at the same time, if not the same moment .

love to all, fawne



Interesting topic worthy of further discussion.

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Fears - 12/22/2005 3:09:31 PM   
MasterLark


Posts: 249
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45

I fear we will elect a president who has no experience in war; but who wants to be a "war hereo". He will surround himself with others who are of the same mind set; with one token "esteemed general" who he will trot out to give credence to his sword waving; but whose counsel will be ignored. Then I will sit at my computer each morning to see if my buddies who are fighting that war lived to send another email about how fucking stupid that president is.

Oh shit...it already happened.


Do I hear an "Amen"? AMEN. ...and yet it happened anyway. And worse. Lots to fear from an Administration cock-sure of its divine-time to use power and which loves secrecy far too much.

That leads me to my candidate -- fear true evil. Not so it paralyzes one but know the wisdom of fearing what ought to be feared in order to overcome it.

(in reply to lovingmaster45)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Fears - 12/22/2005 4:09:34 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

We have lately had some awesome threads about expectations, questions that should be asked---now I pose to My esteemed colleagues--what are your greatest fears?

You know, I'm not really sure how to answer this... I've rewritten this several times trying to find the right words. Its not that I think there is nothing I would not be afraid off... I'm not so arrogant as that. Its more that I have already faced so much and survived so much in my life I can't help but wonder... what is left? What can the universe do to me at this point it hasn't already? And whatever comes next, would I be afraid or would I face it as I do so much now... confident that somehow things would be alright, that I would find a way. I guess I'll sum it up with a quote from Invictus.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Fears - 12/22/2005 5:15:17 PM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tine11

I fear that i acutally might commet follow throught with sucide one day.


I wonder if you could find someone to talk with about this feeling. Maybe a friend or a doctor could lead you in the right direction.

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For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to Tine11)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Fears - 12/22/2005 6:05:31 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: Tine11

I fear that i acutally might commet follow throught with sucide one day.


I wonder if you could find someone to talk with about this feeling. Maybe a friend or a doctor could lead you in the right direction.


Unfortunately, he or she should be careful whom she speaks with. The record of an involuntary committement will follow her for the rest of her life.

I can't be certain of the rules in her state, but in my old home state of Massachusetts, mental hospitals, hit hard by the de-institutionalizing craze, had developed a neat cottage industry. They pay a bounty to police officers, nurses, doctors and even firemen who declare a person "to be a danger to himself or herself" and so can be held for ten day under what is called "Section 12 committal". Since this is paid for by the person's insurance, regardless of consent, it helps defray the money they no longer get from long term patients. (Uninsured patients are quickly found to be not dangerous and released.)


_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Fears - 12/23/2005 4:19:35 PM   
Nendarye


Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

We have lately had some awesome threads about expectations, questions that should be asked---now I pose to My esteemed colleagues--what are your greatest fears?




Rejection and scorn

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Fears - 12/23/2005 10:53:19 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Among the other post I made on this thread. The one I left out. Is this... being kept alive with machines. If I can't breath on my own. Turn of the machines. If my time is not done here, I will breath on my own. If my time is done and it's time to go home. I can go knowing my work here is done.

(in reply to Nendarye)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Fears - 12/23/2005 11:17:59 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

being kept alive with machines. If I can't breath on my own. Turn of the machines. If my time is not done here, I will breath on my own. If my time is done and it's time to go home. I can go knowing my work here is done.
Sometimes it's very temporary.. A bad pnumonia could require that. If it is long term, I very much agree with you, am not that afraid of death that I'd rather live suffering. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Fears - 12/24/2005 3:48:22 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You know, I'm not really sure how to answer this... I've rewritten this several times trying to find the right words. Its not that I think there is nothing I would not be afraid off... I'm not so arrogant as that. Its more that I have already faced so much and survived so much in my life I can't help but wonder... what is left? What can the universe do to me at this point it hasn't already? And whatever comes next, would I be afraid or would I face it as I do so much now... confident that somehow things would be alright, that I would find a way.

Padriag


For many years, i coped by imagining the worst case scenario, and determining that i would survive and be able to care for my kid even if that happened. i have noticed in the past 52 years that the worst case scenario NEVER happens...and so now, when faced with uncertainty, i am able to suspend judgment until more information becomes available, rather than tormenting myself with what ifs.

candystripper

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Fears - 12/24/2005 3:55:33 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Unfortunately, he or she should be careful whom she speaks with. The record of an involuntary committement will follow her for the rest of her life.

I can't be certain of the rules in her state, but in my old home state of Massachusetts, mental hospitals, hit hard by the de-institutionalizing craze, had developed a neat cottage industry. They pay a bounty to police officers, nurses, doctors and even firemen who declare a person "to be a danger to himself or herself" and so can be held for ten day under what is called "Section 12 committal". Since this is paid for by the person's insurance, regardless of consent, it helps defray the money they no longer get from long term patients. (Uninsured patients are quickly found to be not dangerous and released.)

JohnWarren


i could not agree more. Firstly, that someone having suicidial thoughts should not call a suicide prevention hotline, talk to a therapist (or a cop) and admit to those feelings. It's like declaring bankruptcy; the pall it casts over your life is immense.

i also agree we (the US) have a really lousy mental health system. i wasa there when administrators and bueracrats decided to reduce the Medicaid payment for a talk therapy session to below $30. They knew most therapists would refuse to accept Medicaid patients anymore; and the burden of providing health care to those wiley enough to get some was reduced. Psychologists were systematically being driven out of business in favor of nurse practitioners. It was premediated and it was ugly; evil, even.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 12/24/2005 3:56:09 AM >

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Fears - 12/24/2005 6:12:06 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
For many years, i coped by imagining the worst case scenario, and determining that i would survive and be able to care for my kid even if that happened. i have noticed in the past 52 years that the worst case scenario NEVER happens...and so now, when faced with uncertainty, i am able to suspend judgment until more information becomes available, rather than tormenting myself with what ifs.

candystripper


I use four scenario: best possible case, best probable case, worst probably case and worst possible case. Most of my plans are based in three while taking into account aspects of four and accepting the possibility of two.

For example I used to work in NYC in a highrise (not those!) and kept my Telsan Tern in my office. Now I wouldn't have gone out and bought one but I had kept up my jumping after leaving the Corps and just made a conscious decision to store it in my 33 floor office instead of my ground floor townhouse.

Sometimes something worse than the worst possible case scenario hits.



< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 12/24/2005 6:13:07 AM >

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(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Fears - 12/24/2005 6:26:00 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

We have lately had some awesome threads about expectations, questions that should be asked---now I pose to My esteemed colleagues--what are your greatest fears?


Well, I have a few but I'll just stick to the BDSM ones.

I guess my biggest fear is being outted inappropriately and having it effect my professional life. I have managed to keep my vanilla and kink lives separate for a long time and hope to continue to do that in the future. However, I realize that it is a risk and I'm very careful about keeping both separate.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 100
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