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I just open the discussion on the idea of communicating our love in our individual lifestyle relationships.

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 My belief is that it isn't always easy to determine if someone is language compatible at the beginning of a relationship.  I'm not implying conscious and deliberate deceit (although that does happen), 

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*sighs*  And then they wonder what happened... why isn't it just as good as it started out to be?  

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ORIGINAL: leadership527

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ORIGINAL: TheMadBunny
And if being willing to be influenced by my submissive in regards to my decisions contradicts and negates my possession of authority in the relationship, then I will be the first one to turn in my Master card.

Yeah, I'm with you on that one. "MY" way includes her way. It's as simple as that. If that makes me a wishy washy Master, no worries there, I'm pretty ok with being "That guy who's woman obeys him and who has a deliriously happy marriage." From a "marketing" standpoint, I have to observe that for every sub out there who wants a badass dom, there appears to be another who wants a caring, loving relationship so if the target audience is any guide (and what the hell else would be a guide?) then apparently it IS domly to care about your sub and to recognize her value as a life partner, not simply a slave.

What I find most interesting about the "my way or the highway" thought pattern is that these people have, apparently, not given much thought to why, exactly, a smart, competent, and capable submissive would be following them. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that smart, competent, and capable people (which is who I want as a partner for the rest of my life), make choices that enhance their own lives. That implies that somehow, this person who is smart, must be convinced that following my lead is better for them than not. If I have failed to incorporate their needs, wants, desires, and dreams into my lead, then I'm not really sure how I could really make that claim.

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  I won't mold myself to someone Else's idea of what I should be whether it's the female or another Dominant. Yet I don't disregard her input either.

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  If you want to grab the first female you can and try to "broaden" your horizons..go to it.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Icarys,

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  I won't mold myself to someone Else's idea of what I should be whether it's the female or another Dominant. Yet I don't disregard her input either.

The only one claiming some of us "mold" ourselves to please a partner is you.  You then go on to add another little dig by writing:

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  If you want to grab the first female you can and try to "broaden" your horizons..go to it.

Actually, most of those advocating the position you are so fervently trying to put down didn't grab their women, they attracted an amazing woman by being the sort who who don't need to put others down to feel big.  I know some of these people personally, others through friends, and frankly the women they have in their lives are the sort small men will spend a lifetime envying and yet never knowing.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys
I do things my way because I enjoy it and what I'm looking for is someone who is "looking in the same direction I am"(taken off of Darcyandthe.dark's tag line I believe :>

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There are females who enjoy what you seem to look down on.  I won't mold myself to someone Else's idea of what I should be whether it's the female or another Dominant. Yet I don't disregard her input either.

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It's not a bad thing to learn your partner as best you can but it's also a better idea I think to pick those partners that best suit you. If you want to grab the first female you can and try to "broaden" your horizons..go to it. I'll stick to what I know works for me.

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: Icarys
I do things my way because I enjoy it and what I'm looking for is someone who is "looking in the same direction I am"(taken off of Darcyandthe.dark's tag line I believe :>

And when you meet that person, let's hope that neither of you grow or change or mature in any kind of way.

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There are females who enjoy what you seem to look down on.  I won't mold myself to someone Else's idea of what I should be whether it's the female or another Dominant. Yet I don't disregard her input either.

So you only disregard the input that get's perceived as "being molded" by your ego?

See...when I read something like this (especially when it bares no resemblence to anything that has been said), it comes off to me as an insecurity or more specifically a fear. Nobody's talked about being molded by our partner. People have talked about growing with their partners. This seems to be something that your fixated on and afraid of and projecting into the discussion. An insecurity with your own dominance.

But that's just how I see it.

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It's not a bad thing to learn your partner as best you can but it's also a better idea I think to pick those partners that best suit you. If you want to grab the first female you can and try to "broaden" your horizons..go to it. I'll stick to what I know works for me.

Nobody is talking about "just grabbing any female". People are talking about the pragmatic reality that no matter who you find, there is going to be some difficulties and differences your going to have to reconcile with. It's really just a fact.

And what's wrong with broadening your horizons? Wow, god forbid I allow a partner to come into my life with a whole set of different interests and hobbies, then *gasp* attempt to be open to new things. God forbid, that I allow my mighty might dominance and superior way of doing things to be *gasp* surpassed in an attempt to develop myself in new unique ways. God forbid, I *gasp* allow myself to go to a classical music concert when it isn't exactly my thing and *gasp* attempt to be open to a new experience.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys
I guess I'm not a member anymore lol. Here's my card.

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See how it feels when you use inflammatory statements.

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: Icarys
I guess I'm not a member anymore lol. Here's my card.

Hey, if you think what your talking about here is a valid way of doing things, then defend your own opinions. Don't back out just because someone challenged some of your digs.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

Hopefully you'll catch on in a second.

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

Hopefully you'll catch on in a second.

Icarys, this is called a discussion where we discuss and debate things. I'm not here to nurse or cater to your small ego.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

As apposed to your much larger ego?

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

As apposed to your much larger ego?

As opposed to you not acting like a child everytime somebody disagrees with what you say.

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ORIGINAL: marieToo

You two should just compare dick measurements and get this over with.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

Don't have a problem when someone disagrees but when they do the same things that they point out is bad in others it kinda loses any merit in my mind.

• You claim that the success of relationship should be based off finding a compatible partner that doesn't require you to change. I agree to a degree, but unfortanely if that relationship is going to have longevity, the fact that people grow and change has to be addressed. So obviously if during the relationship we will have to work towards closing the gap that occurs by that change and growth, why isn't change and growth to make a relationship work okay?
  
• If we take a look at this at solely on a principle of probability, finding a partner who doesn't require you to change or work past differences AT ALL has chances in a range that are completely unrealistic.
  
• You say that you are willing to take input and willing to change to some degree, but aren't willing to "mold yourself to another person's ideals" like we are doing. You don't seem to have any specific criterion as to what change is acceptable and what change quantifies as being the negative of "conforming to another person's ideals" so this statement doesn't seem to be based on logic but rather on ego. Your okay with changing just as long as that change doesn't insult your own dominance.

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ORIGINAL: marieToo

You two should just compare dick measurements and get this over with.