RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (Full Version)

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ExKat -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/19/2008 9:49:01 PM)

  We don't use the term 'taken'. I was owned when I was his-when we began our monogamous relationship with each other. I accepted his dominance. Master said that, to him, the collar meant essentially the same thing. I was his, we were embarking on a long-term relationship. However, I only got my collar recently.




CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 4:27:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Roselaure

Titles are essentially just that, and meaningless except as understood by the people in the relationship. My personal definitions are:

"Taken", is seeing someone seriously, more than a play partner, but less than complete committment.

"Owned" is a deepening of that relationship.  Committed as understood by the parties in the relationship.

"Collared" to me is the same as "Owned" except it includes jewelry.


Rose

Apretty complete coverage, thanks for your thoughts.

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 8:54:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

Greetings:

Recently i posted i was owned then within a week to 2 week period i had left him.  I actually felt pressured into stating i was own.  i just find myself agreeing against my better judgement to posting such statements.  I think i may have finally learned though to say to a Dom, no i will not do as you say you do not own me.  Anyway i a really do value and hold the idea of being owned/collared as a serious action in my life.  

Unfortunatly i seem to have gotten the majority of fakes and players as they all say oh but i know we are made for each other and you must do as i say now.  I am finally learning these are the fakes to tell them to go fly a kite.   I have been a silly gal to trust so quick.   


patina

patina,

strange as it sounds, your learning that phase was a blessing in that it occured so fast, you went for a player in costume.

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 8:58:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

To be owned and collared means we have made a commitment to each other, we're in a relationship together, we're devoted to each other because we've taken the time to know each other and have taken the next step.

It's not something I rush into, it's not something I take lightly. It means that I am now officially HIS.



littlewonder,

But you left out "taken"?????

CP


When I say I'm "taken" then it simply means I'm currently seeing/dating someone.



lilwonder,

but taken sounds much more permanent than casual dating!!

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 9:00:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Owned, collared, property.... To Me, these are family.  A place that can not be taken from My boy.  That he is Mine fills My heart with love and pride.  That this is My boy.  My sub.  That the trinket I place on his neck compares little to what he has in My heart.

Then again, I'm sentimental.  Not everyone feels this way.



LP, so I assume the terms are all inclusive for you!

CP

The three I used are, but I don't see them on the same level as taken. 

[/quoteLP

would that then be higher or lower?

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 9:01:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

For me, ideally, it means the same thing a wedding band would connote to most. 
For me, at least, it means valued, cherished, not optional.  
Davan


Davan,

and which one of the three would fit the above?

CP




softness -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 11:31:51 AM)

The following are personal views, not a manifesto

"Taken" .... not available .. as in the sentence "This chair is taken, but that one is free"

"Owned/property" .... depth of meaning to this phrase varies from relationship to relationship. It indicates an Owner property relationship to me this can be something fairly casual right up to something more serious. The dynamic of Owner and property can be impersonal and not indicative of an emotional relationship between the people concered.

"Collared" .. the giving and recieving of collars has huge significance for me, it is a very serious declaration of intent and committment between the people concerned. I know for other people they may have a more fluid symbolism, but for me they are very serious indeed.




LadyPact -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 2:47:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Owned, collared, property.... To Me, these are family.  A place that can not be taken from My boy.  That he is Mine fills My heart with love and pride.  That this is My boy.  My sub.  That the trinket I place on his neck compares little to what he has in My heart.

Then again, I'm sentimental.  Not everyone feels this way.



LP, so I assume the terms are all inclusive for you!

CP

The three I used are, but I don't see them on the same level as taken. 

LP

would that then be higher or lower?

CP

I just told someone very recently that I should write My own version of a BDSM dictionary so people would know what in the world I was talking about it.  Maybe I should give that serious thought.

It would actually be lower.   Taken would be more synonymous with what might be called under consideration or maybe either dating exclusively or engaged in the vanilla sense.  They haven't reached the same level yet, but they are on the path.  The seed's been planted and the roots have started to grow.  The D/s structure has some formation, but isn't at the same place as a dynamic that's been established firmly.  It doesn't mean it won't get there, or that the hopes for it aren't strong.  It just takes a little while to solidify family.   You have to start somewhere.

Edited for formatting. 




VivaciousSub -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 4:47:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

The following are personal views, not a manifesto

"Taken" .... not available .. as in the sentence "This chair is taken, but that one is free"

"Owned/property" .... depth of meaning to this phrase varies from relationship to relationship. It indicates an Owner property relationship to me this can be something fairly casual right up to something more serious. The dynamic of Owner and property can be impersonal and not indicative of an emotional relationship between the people concered.

"Collared" .. the giving and recieving of collars has huge significance for me, it is a very serious declaration of intent and committment between the people concerned. I know for other people they may have a more fluid symbolism, but for me they are very serious indeed.


*nods vigorously* - although, to Sir and me, owned = collared. I have not been collared, yet, but we had the discussion that it wouldn't happen unless we were to become very seriously involved.




littlewonder -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 4:57:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

To be owned and collared means we have made a commitment to each other, we're in a relationship together, we're devoted to each other because we've taken the time to know each other and have taken the next step.

It's not something I rush into, it's not something I take lightly. It means that I am now officially HIS.



littlewonder,

But you left out "taken"?????

CP


When I say I'm "taken" then it simply means I'm currently seeing/dating someone.



lilwonder,

but taken sounds much more permanent than casual dating!!

CP


I would hope so since I don't do casual dating.




StrictnSaucy -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 5:19:14 PM)

Taken, Owned, Property .... we never jumped through those hoops. It has never applied to us. We met. Period.




CMRTyson -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 5:37:15 PM)

For galilah and I the meaning are all the same, just different aspects of our relationship. She is collared, a formalized acknowledgement of who we are to each other. Taken is now a word we use much and even owned is seldom said, althought I feel she is mind. I do ask her "To whom do you belong," and my mind and heart sings whever she replies "You."

As for what it means to us had to do with commitment, responsibilities and expectations. They are the same thing. The words are just shades of meaning, and the meaning is everything.

Ty




cinderella221972 -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/20/2008 5:52:21 PM)

i am collared to my husband.  i first served a probationary period, then became His wife legally, and finally was collared since we consider that the most important commitment.  The Dom He says He "inherited" me from also believed that the collar was more important than marriage.  Both have been loving, caring, and yet strict dominants who take/took very seriously their ownership responsibilities and always cherish/ed their property.  One is sadly missed by this submissive and many others who mourned His passing.  Both have taught me to respect the views and choices of others on this topic.






CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 1:10:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Im agreeing with everyone who says its just a way to say you are in a relationship, due to the nature of what we are into we just tend to use differant terms from boyfriend/girlfriend/partner but doesnt mean much diferant to me.

I dotnt see being collared as overly dramatic either i think we put too much stock in stuff like that really, changing the word or title doesnt change the realtionship, adding a collar into the mix doesnt make the feelings more profound. If I am with a Dom i consider myself collared because I do as he tells me to do from the moment I agree to be in the relationship. Otherwise it seems a bit to me like holding out some part of you until its official or whatever, and just as i never wanted to wait til marriage for sex I dont wait till being given a collar to belong to someone



colouredin

Then for you it is all the same and you can be owned without a collar??

CP




colouredin -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 3:54:28 AM)

Yup it is, In fact I am, a collar is just a material thing, it doesnt mean anything to me, I am collared owned property whatever word you want to use, but no i dont have a collar. (actually mostly because of money, so would it be fair to say that people who cant afford collars are in a lesser relationship than those who can?)




CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 8:07:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sailorfrank

    Taken:   means to me unavalible to anyone else.  My slave wont be shared with others, mostly to protect her.

   Owned:    Body and Mind by me as I care for her in all ways mentally and pysically.  She will surrender all to me her stress and anything troubling her.  Her money is hers of course as is my own.  But we do own each other for now and soon it will be more complete after training!

Collared:   Like others stated  Very meaningful more so than marriage.  For me it means two souls joined as one.  Trust absolute between us, meaning no one else will come between us ever.  She will serve me out of Trust and Love only not from fear of pain or threats!


frank,

A very nicely stated progression / thanks for your thoughts.

CP 




CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 8:10:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

Here I go pondering again. Being constantly interested in the mix of our path walkers I, when time permits, review the stats on newcomers. both the "D"s and the "s"s for a general profile of who and why they have come to the path. Many time I come across an eyeopener of a supposed newcomer to the path and its concepts and bingo after 3 days on CM they are "owned"

So what do the titles mean to you and clearly it is a question for both sides of the slash.

CP




When both parties reach an informed agreement on the terms of the relationship. 'Informed' is subjective, of course; for me it would be a period of getting to know one another (real time), at least 6 months, to give yourself a fighting chance that 'what you see is what you get', and 'what you get' is viable.

Ownership requires a far greater degree of informed decision making and comittment to the relationship,  than a 'let's start going out for a few weeks and see how it goes' scenario (i.e the usual approach to relationships).


NG,

Well that covers ownership but what of the other two?

CP




subenchanted -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 11:57:15 AM)

The man that I have been corresponding with has in his profile: "...I will find the right woman to serve me. Perhaps it will take a week, or a month, or a year, but I will find her. Then I will take her, love her, teach her, command and cherish her."

From what some people have said here, it seems that those verbs are in the wrong order or, perhaps, that "take her" should not have been there at all. That is, loving and cherishing should come before the taking. For that matter, his emphasis is on finding the "right woman to serve [him]", rather than finding a woman that he can love and cherish and, within that context, teach and command her. Of course, saying that he will "take her" is not the same thing as being taken. It sounds more like a predator pouncing on his prey.

I'm not trying to nitpick here but, rather, to try and figure out whether what he wrote should have been a red flag to me. (He is quite eloquent, so it is not merely poor writing. And I have just heard from another sub that he is not the man he says he is. He is not even a player but apparently a serial abuser. But that is another topic entirely.)




CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 11:59:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

lol

in time.. CP
soemtimes I confuse myself..lol
will take time..this answer..


JD,

ok accepted!

CP




CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 12:02:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Hold on, let my consult my handy dandy quick reference.... Oh yeah, there we go..

Taken: bright red hanky, upper right
Owned: black hanky, lower right
Collared: blue hanky, tied around neck

In my mind, they all mean "I'm in the relationship of my lifetime... this week"


527,

Well hell if it is only for this week, I suggest reserving "taken" for that circumstance.

CP




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