RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you?

RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (Full Version)

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leadership527 -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 12:02:51 PM)
no subenchanted, what he wrote should NOT be a red flag. Not only are there different possible orders to construct the end outcome in... not only do different people want different end outcomes... but honestly, I sincerely doubt when he wrote those few words in his profile statement that he was thinking of them as an ordered series of steps. I'm HUGE on love, but I still might've written that exact statement. As to what goes first, who cares what I want to go first.. what do YOU need to go first? Insofar as what you heard from another sub... well.. yeah.. another topic. There's another thread on "vouching" here... you might read it if you haven't.

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 12:04:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Reposted: Generally, ownership is considered a state of being within a relationship. Collared generally tends to be a statement of going through a specific act of having a collar placed upon you. But, many people consider themselves collared without the element of ownership, and many people consider themselves owned without ever putting on a collar. LA, Surely you do not apply that to CM'ers! CP http://www.collarchat.com/m_972728/mpage_1/key_collared/tm.htm#973007 collared vs owned http://www.collarchat.com/m_498653/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#498670 The Coveted and Legendary Collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_531609/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#531610 Collaring vs Wearing a collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_547321/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#547475 The meaning of a collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_485613/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#485797 Please share with me (what being collared means to you) http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=427111&mpage=1&key=collaring&#427257 being collared http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=410988&mpage=1&key=collaring&#411019 public collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_291301/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#291301 Collar vs Wedding Ring http://www.collarchat.com/m_287566/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287566 Another Question Regarding the Collar http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=323687&mpage=1&key=collaring&#323702 collars (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_287140/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287140 Collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_264867/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#264867 Sub Thoughts on collars http://www.collarchat.com/m_248345/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#248345 collar before love http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#247668 ring or collar, what's the difference? http://www.collarchat.com/m_219135/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#219135 What does a collar mean? http://www.collarchat.com/m_190240/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#190240 collar or what else? http://www.collarchat.com/m_187244/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#187244 Accepting a collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_184946/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#184946 Timeframe for a Collar? http://www.collarchat.com/m_177155/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#177155 collar (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_165733/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#165733 collars http://www.collarchat.com/m_151638/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#151638 Collar Ceremony http://www.collarchat.com/m_150934/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#150934 Losing the Collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_132702/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#132702 From chat to collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898 Wearing training collar in public http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449 What are the collar types/levels please? http://www.collarchat.com/m_80281/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#80281 When is the right time to collar? http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392 Collars and collaring http://www.collarchat.com/m_61337/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#61337 Collar conundrum? http://www.collarchat.com/m_59686/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#59686 Color of collars? http://www.collarchat.com/m_55592/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#55592 Collars when? http://www.collarchat.com/m_27368/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#27368 Kind of a collar question? http://www.collarchat.com/m_11451/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#11451 Collaring a submissive? http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428 What is your definition of a training collar? http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402 Multiple collars or single collar?

Daes -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 1:06:19 PM)
This is usually the way I percieve these: Taken/Under Consideration - In a relationship, or seriously considering one (meaning not really emotionally available) Owned/Collared - a lot of times I see these terms used casually, or are given right away. You can be collared and not owned and vice versa, and you can be owned with there being any real commitment. While there is nothing wrong with that, I define the terms my own way based on the context of my relationship with my Sir. That said, "owned" for me, is how I currently percieve my relationship with Sir. I am His property, and He is my Owner, heart, soul, mind, and body. A collaring emphasizes my relationship with him as His submissive, and symbolizes both His ownership over me and an ideal - for Us, the ideal is that we shall always be together, that I will always be His no matter what comes our way.

BLGirl -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 1:59:32 PM)
[sm=cute.gif]I was taken the first time we touched and I knew that I could not imagine being touched by another. Owned however, is another animal altogether. I feel as though we are the odd man out, for lack of a better term, in that we have been together nearly a decade. While it is true that our marriage bound me to him, I never fully gave myself to him. I thought I had, but I always held back that little piece of me, most likely to keep from being totally broken if we were to fall apart. I realized this not very long ago and began working toward surrendering myself to him. I went to him one night and while on my knees before him said, I am innocent, naive, and frightened, and although you see strength when you look at me, I am but a little girl inside. I need your protection, your guidance, and your love; in return I give you everything that is me. I was owned the moment I allowed myself to be vulnerable and to give over everything that I am. The difference for me between being married and owned is that when we were just married, I still had a back-up plan if you will. There were certain behaviors that I think most would find unacceptable, and there was a consequence to them, therefore divorce was a possibility. When I allowed myself to throw down all barriers, all walls, and all protection; I was owned and now, for the first time, I know that we will be together allways. As for the collar, it is a symbol to us, to everyone, that I am his, to be revered and respected, as well as a symbol of his commitment to protect, guide, and love me. I want to feel him with me always and to reach up and feel this symbol of him around my neck, reassures me that I am safe. To me, being owned and therefore collared, is so much more significant than being married; it means that I am obliged to love and serve him and he is obliged to love and guide me. That we are one. There are not words to express how much our better our marriage is since I surrendered and he took ownership. He is a better man and husband and I am a better woman and wife.

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 2:21:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan Well... (fast reply not having read the rest of the thread - bad Ivy) Currently I am "taken" in that I and the other side of the slash are talking about and considering the possibility of a relationship and what that would entail. Should we decide that there will be a relationship, then I would be "owned" by them, in that, I will be "theirs", I will not be shared with others, I will do what they ask, and we'll all be considering me their (joint) property. Then, on the flip side, collared is what I am in a club so that a)bondage is easier and b)gropey men might at least ask the person with me if they can do X as opposed to asking me, because the person with me is a whole lot better at being assertive with a "no" than I am, and I invariably don't want to be covered in cream/moisturised/have my feet worshipped etc c)someone bought me a pretty thing and have told me to wear it/I wear it to please them. Yes, I guess there is collared as a statement of a long term commitment in a relationship, but, that is a far away and still intabgilbe idea in m y young head, so, let's not dwell on that one yet. We'll talk about taken, and move on to owned first... should this survive my going to uni (which is only a year away now) for (3?) years... who knows. Collared would mean part of their lives and them part of mine, although not necessarily defining the way in which we are part of each others lives. (I could be collared but now owned, for example.) Ivy "them"?? well that might you a busy girl indeed / nods thaken it is then! thanks for your thoughts. CP

Daes -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 2:24:00 PM)
BLGirl - That was beautiful, thank you

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 2:24:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sublizzie ~fr~ For me, taken meant I was seriously considering a long-term relationship with someone and was not looking for anyone else. Collared meant that he put his seal on me and was serious about being my Dominant. Owned is something we are working toward together. We've been together a year. Getting to a place where he feels comfortable owning me and I'm comfortable being owned is going to take a little more time. But that's the end goal. lizzie, if your comfortable and so is he, what is the holdup? thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject. CP

BLGirl -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 3:59:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daes BLGirl - That was beautiful, thank you Thank you so much. I tried to explain as best I could, but no words describe our devotion to one another, it is a beautiful thing.

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 8:26:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExKat We don't use the term 'taken'. I was owned when I was his-when we began our monogamous relationship with each other. I accepted his dominance. Master said that, to him, the collar meant essentially the same thing. I was his, we were embarking on a long-term relationship. However, I only got my collar recently. ExKat, Surely there must have been a "taken " phase prior to becoming his. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/24/2008 8:28:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness The following are personal views, not a manifesto "Taken" .... not available .. as in the sentence "This chair is taken, but that one is free" "Owned/property" .... depth of meaning to this phrase varies from relationship to relationship. It indicates an Owner property relationship to me this can be something fairly casual right up to something more serious. The dynamic of Owner and property can be impersonal and not indicative of an emotional relationship between the people concered. "Collared" .. the giving and recieving of collars has huge significance for me, it is a very serious declaration of intent and committment between the people concerned. I know for other people they may have a more fluid symbolism, but for me they are very serious indeed. softness, Concise and to the point / thanks for your thoughts CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/25/2008 3:16:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Owned, collared, property.... To Me, these are family. A place that can not be taken from My boy. That he is Mine fills My heart with love and pride. That this is My boy. My sub. That the trinket I place on his neck compares little to what he has in My heart. Then again, I'm sentimental. Not everyone feels this way. LP, so I assume the terms are all inclusive for you! CP The three I used are, but I don't see them on the same level as taken. LP would that then be higher or lower? CP I just told someone very recently that I should write My own version of a BDSM dictionary so people would know what in the world I was talking about it. Maybe I should give that serious thought. It would actually be lower. Taken would be more synonymous with what might be called under consideration or maybe either dating exclusively or engaged in the vanilla sense. They haven't reached the same level yet, but they are on the path. The seed's been planted and the roots have started to grow. The D/s structure has some formation, but isn't at the same place as a dynamic that's been established firmly. It doesn't mean it won't get there, or that the hopes for it aren't strong. It just takes a little while to solidify family. You have to start somewhere. Edited for formatting. LP, grins, ok yjat makes sense. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/25/2008 3:18:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder To be owned and collared means we have made a commitment to each other, we're in a relationship together, we're devoted to each other because we've taken the time to know each other and have taken the next step. It's not something I rush into, it's not something I take lightly. It means that I am now officially HIS. littlewonder, But you left out "taken"????? CP When I say I'm "taken" then it simply means I'm currently seeing/dating someone. lilwonder, but taken sounds much more permanent than casual dating!! CP I would hope so since I don't do casual dating. lilwonder, well good on you girl! CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/25/2008 3:25:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cinderella221972 i am collared to my husband. i first served a probationary period, then became His wife legally, and finally was collared since we consider that the most important commitment. The Dom He says He "inherited" me from also believed that the collar was more important than marriage. Both have been loving, caring, and yet strict dominants who take/took very seriously their ownership responsibilities and always cherish/ed their property. One is sadly missed by this submissive and many others who mourned His passing. Both have taught me to respect the views and choices of others on this topic. cindy, Your position on collars is parallel to mine / thanks for your thoughts. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/25/2008 3:29:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin Yup it is, In fact I am, a collar is just a material thing, it doesnt mean anything to me, I am collared owned property whatever word you want to use, but no i dont have a collar. (actually mostly because of money, so would it be fair to say that people who cant afford collars are in a lesser relationship than those who can?) colouredin, In my opinion a collar does not need to be an expensive physical item, hell does not even have to be physical. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/25/2008 3:36:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subenchanted The man that I have been corresponding with has in his profile: "...I will find the right woman to serve me. Perhaps it will take a week, or a month, or a year, but I will find her. Then I will take her, love her, teach her, command and cherish her." From what some people have said here, it seems that those verbs are in the wrong order or, perhaps, that "take her" should not have been there at all. That is, loving and cherishing should come before the taking. For that matter, his emphasis is on finding the "right woman to serve [him]", rather than finding a woman that he can love and cherish and, within that context, teach and command her. Of course, saying that he will "take her" is not the same thing as being taken. It sounds more like a predator pouncing on his prey. I'm not trying to nitpick here but, rather, to try and figure out whether what he wrote should have been a red flag to me. (He is quite eloquent, so it is not merely poor writing. And I have just heard from another sub that he is not the man he says he is. He is not even a player but apparently a serial abuser. But that is another topic entirely.) enchanted, Setting aside the issue of who or what he is, I think that the love stuff comes from growth together; thus taken can come before all else. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/25/2008 11:41:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BLGirl [sm=cute.gif]I was taken the first time we touched and I knew that I could not imagine being touched by another. Owned however, is another animal altogether. I feel as though we are the odd man out, for lack of a better term, in that we have been together nearly a decade. While it is true that our marriage bound me to him, I never fully gave myself to him. I thought I had, but I always held back that little piece of me, most likely to keep from being totally broken if we were to fall apart. I realized this not very long ago and began working toward surrendering myself to him. I went to him one night and while on my knees before him said, I am innocent, naive, and frightened, and although you see strength when you look at me, I am but a little girl inside. I need your protection, your guidance, and your love; in return I give you everything that is me. I was owned the moment I allowed myself to be vulnerable and to give over everything that I am. The difference for me between being married and owned is that when we were just married, I still had a back-up plan if you will. There were certain behaviors that I think most would find unacceptable, and there was a consequence to them, therefore divorce was a possibility. When I allowed myself to throw down all barriers, all walls, and all protection; I was owned and now, for the first time, I know that we will be together allways. As for the collar, it is a symbol to us, to everyone, that I am his, to be revered and respected, as well as a symbol of his commitment to protect, guide, and love me. I want to feel him with me always and to reach up and feel this symbol of him around my neck, reassures me that I am safe. To me, being owned and therefore collared, is so much more significant than being married; it means that I am obliged to love and serve him and he is obliged to love and guide me. That we are one. There are not words to express how much our better our marriage is since I surrendered and he took ownership. He is a better man and husband and I am a better woman and wife. BLGirl, Tho written to Daes, I need to comment // nicely put! CP

ExKat -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/26/2008 4:42:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: ExKat We don't use the term 'taken'. I was owned when I was his. ExKat, Surely there must have been a "taken " phase prior to becoming his. CP Nope, the physical 'taking' took place after I was his. I became his when we decided to do the whole monogamy thing, second date.

BLGirl -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/26/2008 6:36:11 PM)
Thank you, CelticPrince. It is so hard to put into words, the way I feel about our life together.

CelticPrince -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/26/2008 6:52:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BLGirl Thank you, CelticPrince. It is so hard to put into words, the way I feel about our life together. BL, Well for being hard, you do an excellennt job of it. CP

HisPhedre -> RE: Taken, Owned, Collar / meanings to you? (10/26/2008 9:39:46 PM)
My thinking is very similar or almost the same as what others have written. Collared is an outward element that shows your commiment to your Lord/Lady. Owned is how you feel. Taken is when you are in a relationship and you are exploring the possibilies of what your relationship could be whether you are vanilla, chocolate, neopolitan, or mint chip.

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