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Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 12:41:51 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		I am into Ds for the psychological aspects and I feel there is far more that can be achieved through psychological domination than through more physical or direct methods.

I use the psychological makeup of the people I deal with in business or in Ds to gain an advantage, structure and control through methods that incorporate my understanding of their strengths and weaknesses. Of course there is nothing physical in this.

I also use things like mental bondage to control a slave physically.

What is psychological domination to you? Is it used in your relationship? Is it something you enjoy?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 1:01:51 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hrrrm, I think what you are asking is whether or not I use leadership in my relationship specifically in my role as my wife's dominant.

Yes.

Out of curiosity, is there anyone who does not assuming some relationship past whatever constitutes a "play" relationship?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DomDolf)
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RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 1:29:08 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		For me, if there's no psychological domination, there's nothing. Bottoming in a purely physical way is completely boring to me.

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RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 1:39:13 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		If my head isnt in it I'm not in it. 



_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 1:43:34 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		I am a psychical Dom...i can't explain how I do it. No tricks...just me.
Your questions made me think though.
Normally the subs I like.(and that like me) follow me. At work the same things happen..peopel focus when I speak.
That is all I can come up with..I am not voilent or bossy...lol

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RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 1:49:02 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf
I also use things like mental bondage to control a slave physically.


Could you be more specific here? Exactly what is mental bondage? Make the girl love you? Heh.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 2:28:43 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I use the psychological makeup of the people I deal with in business or in Ds to gain an advantage, structure and control through methods that incorporate my understanding of their strengths and weaknesses. Of course there is nothing physical in this.  


I use psychology in my submission as well.  I’m very self-aware and self analytical and I work in mental health.  Nobody is going to be able to manipulate me with psychology; I can see it coming a mile away.
I don’t believe that R. or S. have any tangible right to my deference, but they have qualities and character which allows me to submit to their leadership—because I want to be led.  My mind set is just as important as theirs when it comes to giving them authority over me.
They do not dominate me because they know me better than I know myself.  We have simply agreed that they will have the authority in the relationship.  They both have learned to step back when I have a struggle with something and let me work it out on my own. They may offer a bit of insight from their perspective; sometimes they are even correct!  They are willing to listen when I have figured it out and then we move on from there.   Certainly they could, if they chose, tie me up until I agree to do what they say, but that is not submission, it is coercion.

< Message edited by catize -- 10/19/2008 2:33:04 PM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 2:48:38 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		For me, it is exactly this that I desire and need from my Master. Otherwise, it is all just play for the pure physical pleasure only which is very enjoyable on its own but that is all it is for me without the Psychological Domination.

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RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 4:08:31 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf

I am into Ds for the psychological aspects and I feel there is far more that can be achieved through psychological domination than through more physical or direct methods.

I use the psychological makeup of the people I deal with in business or in Ds to gain an advantage, structure and control through methods that incorporate my understanding of their strengths and weaknesses. Of course there is nothing physical in this.

I also use things like mental bondage to control a slave physically.

What is psychological domination to you? Is it used in your relationship? Is it something you enjoy?


Why not have both...the psychological along with the physical.  Each heightens the other...kinda like Oreos and milk. 

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 4:38:11 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		An example of mental bondage would be to make a submissive hold onto the chains above her head and to place her feet where you want them while you cane her. The instructions create the bondage not rope or cuffs.

It's harder on the submissive and more satisfying for both of us in the end.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
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RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 4:39:20 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf

I am into Ds for the psychological aspects and I feel there is far more that can be achieved through psychological domination than through more physical or direct methods.

I use the psychological makeup of the people I deal with in business or in Ds to gain an advantage, structure and control through methods that incorporate my understanding of their strengths and weaknesses. Of course there is nothing physical in this.

I also use things like mental bondage to control a slave physically.

What is psychological domination to you? Is it used in your relationship? Is it something you enjoy?


Why not have both...the psychological along with the physical.  Each heightens the other...kinda like Oreos and milk. 


I use both. Frequently.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 4:44:42 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		I had a psychologist as a submissive for a while. I learned a lot from her. She learned a lot about how she could be manipulated in a positive way from someone that understood the "cause and effect" of every word, action and inaction. Your understanding of psychology may give you some better view of things that may come down the pike and properly challenge anyone that thinks they can manipulate you, but I'm also sure with a great amount of attention to your details there are ways to achieve any common goal. This is not a bad thing, quite the opposite.

Dolf

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 4:48:16 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf


What is psychological domination to you? Is it used in your relationship? Is it something you enjoy?


It's when a guy has me wrapped around his finger.  If I'm lucky it's used in my relationships, if it's not, I wither.  Yes, it's something I enjoy.  Fuck me in the head first, and the rest will follow.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to DomDolf)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 4:48:35 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		The mental aspect is often the most important part of play for me when it comes to D/s. As someone else said, otherwise it's just scening, play for fun, with no real meaning behind it. It can be fun but it's kind of like bubblegum fiction, lots of fun but quickly moved past when your through. Weaving a web of psychological and physical pleasure and pain is a fantastic rollercoaster that both can ride together.

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be


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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 4:51:47 PM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		Physical bondage ultimately leads to mental bondage.

In your example you chain her arms above her head so often that eventually you no longer have to because it becomes imprinted that she can't move in that familiar situation (regardless of if she can); she has experienced this before x amount of times and has got used to the not moving. Instructing someone not to more alone wouldn't do it due to the fact a defence mechanism built into everyone would force them to move whether they wanted to or not. IMHO IMHO IMHO.


_____________________________

Memory Lane...been there done that.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 4:53:47 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Hrrrm, I think what you are asking is whether or not I use leadership in my relationship specifically in my role as my wife's dominant.

Yes.

Out of curiosity, is there anyone who does not assuming some relationship past whatever constitutes a "play" relationship?


This is not about leadership per se.

Some people do not understand the intricacies of the psyche. Some people fail to recognize the differences in behavior, speech, mannerisms, verbal and non-verbal communications that show a change or complete difference in situation, often in the most subtle of ways. Failure to be able to do this I feel makes a person incapable of being overly effective as dominants or leaders in vanilla roles. In everything there will be those that under achieve and those that over achieve. Most will be somewhere in the middle.

Dolf

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 4:58:56 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SL4V3M4YB3

Physical bondage ultimately leads to mental bondage.

In your example you chain her arms above her head so often that eventually you no longer have to because it becomes imprinted that she can't move in that familiar situation (regardless of if she can); she has experienced this before x amount of times and has got used to the not moving. Instructing someone not to more alone wouldn't do it due to the fact a defence mechanism built into everyone would force them to move whether they wanted to or not. IMHO IMHO IMHO.



Do you believe that if a person knows what is expected to happen if mental bondage is used on someone that is not used to it that they can then plan for and circumvent any situation using that understanding? I do.

Dolf

(in reply to SL4V3M4YB3)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 5:11:20 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		For us, everything we do comprises psychological domination. As we explained to a new boy today, every single servant who enters our household is an individual, and getting to know what makes hir tick is fundamental to the development of a good relationship between us.

Even for myself, as an aficionado of physical arts like piercing and cutting, getting a feel for the 'headspace' of the folks that I am working on is a big part of the pleasure of playing for me.

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to DomDolf)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 5:29:53 PM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		The point I make is that mental bondage by my definition of it, which varies from the definition others may use, is taught from experience of familiar situations. It would be impossible for you to voluntarily stick your hand in a saucepan of boiling water, you just wouldn't be able to bring yourself to do it, as a child you could easily do this though because you have no experience of the associated pain it would cause. The mechanism is the same and mental bondage (my definition) is limiting someone’s abilities through the selective experiences you subject them to.
 
Most people will be aware that our vision is upside down in reality and our brains put the image the right way up because that is what makes sense to us. If you change our world view so changes our brains interpretation of that world view. 
 
I can’t instantly put someone in mental bondage I see this as impossible but as I’ve said these definitions are rather loose and mean different things to each of us.

(out=our)

< Message edited by SL4V3M4YB3 -- 10/19/2008 5:35:54 PM >

_____________________________

Memory Lane...been there done that.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Psychological Domination - 10/19/2008 6:04:45 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf

I had a psychologist as a submissive for a while. I learned a lot from her. She learned a lot about how she could be manipulated in a positive way from someone that understood the "cause and effect" of every word, action and inaction. Your understanding of psychology may give you some better view of things that may come down the pike and properly challenge anyone that thinks they can manipulate you, but I'm also sure with a great amount of attention to your details there are ways to achieve any common goal. This is not a bad thing, quite the opposite.
Dolf


I have difficulty believing that a psychologist had to learn from a D/s relationship that action, inactions etc have cause and effect, unless she thought she was different from other humans. 
 
My point, however, is that I believe whether dominant or submissive, the dynamic is psychological, whether that is understood or not. 
I have been analyzing myself for 55 years, I sincerely doubt that anyone could observe me more closely than that or surprise me with an insight I am not already aware of.  Nobody needs to get into my head with subterfuge; I’ll open the door and show them what is inside. 
 
I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I’m saying it’s a mutual thing.  The common goal is achieved because it is a common (shared) goal. If it isn’t then it just will not work.


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to DomDolf)
Profile   Post #: 20
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