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RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 7:36:26 AM

wintertexan

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/22/2008
Status: offline

To matter, words need to have a meaning assigned them by the reader. Readers of words have a choice how they take what is written. In the case of a nasty, snarky, evil, punishing, hostile, and unkind forum post, a reader could just as easily roll their eyes and chuckle as fall wounded across their computer maimed for life.

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 21

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 7:39:51 AM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

The voices in my head made me do it. I promise that from now on, I will stop listening to those voices.

C-D

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 22

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 7:44:09 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

wow.. seems like you take your chat too seriously. I suggest you sign off and take a much need break if words on a screen get ya panties in a bunch

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 23

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 7:44:15 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

You know what they say about religion and politics if you want to stay friends.....don't talk about them or have a thick skin.

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 24

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 7:50:32 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Maybe someone should start a site called CoddleMe.com

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 25

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 7:51:00 AM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

No offense, but this is a group of people that (often) beat their partners, engage in mock rape, humiliation and degredation, piss and crap on them... and we're supposed to coddle someone that is easily offended by what an anonymous stranger posts on a website?

BDSM isn't for the faint of heart. Neither is life, for that matter.

John

Up to a point, I agree with you, but it's wise to remember that your partner has consented to being abused, random posters to a thread didn't. I don't really like using "we're kinky" as an excuse for being obnoxious. Just as in real life, you'll find rude people here and kind people here, so why not just chalk it up to the threads being a microcosm of the wider world? Whilst I'm not particularly faint of heart, I also encounter enough random negativity during the day not to want to add any more to it. When I find a thread is going in a direction I don't want to go, I simply stop reading. And that's the best advice I can give to the OP.

< Message edited by Venatrix -- 10/24/2008 7:52:00 AM >

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 26

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 7:54:20 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

Maybe look at it this way, those who are bullied are part of "the group" who regularly post here, because I think those of us that do have been battered about at least once in that way. If you're really lucky, you might get a cmail (or two) from Michael saying, "What the fuck is wrong with you!"

~scarredtee

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 27

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 7:59:40 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Maybe someone should start a site called CoddleMe.com

Yep.

I think it's wise to encourage people not to go on-line until they are able to navigate the world like any sensible adult.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 28

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:08:55 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Snipped for brevity
I've also gotten to watch quite a few people run out of here.....
Some attacks were so brutal, it was almost as if the victims ...
Do you genuinely dislike or feel hatred toward those you attack,.
ring leaders
It's a scary thing,

Your statements are a bit over blown, don’t ya think?
How exactly is anyone ‘run out of’ a typed medium? Do the CM posters gather with torches outside someone’s house and demand they hand over their computer?
To view a difference of opinion as brutal attacks and victimization would suggest that you are the one taking words on a screen way too personally. Perhaps you need to take a look at that.

~~~hums kumbya as I walk past Katylied and yourMissTress~~~

< Message edited by catize -- 10/24/2008 8:09:20 AM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 29

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:10:08 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

If anyone comes into an online forum expecting a bunch of sweet nothings, hand holding and false platitudes, they are an idiot.

All of the "in crowd" "clique members" whatever the hell you want to call them, have probably taken a beating at some time or other on here. Chances are they learned something from it also.

Just recently I got called on my own shit. I was being a real putz, blowing off my mouth without a thought or care as to how it might be perceived by someone other than myself. Then I had the audacity to argue my point quite vigorously. Finally, I got a clue by four to the head, took a big step back and looked at the whole issue from an entirely different perspective. And wow, did I get a perspective. I am fortunate to have amazing friends that helped me see the light. I took the hits and I learned from them.

Not everything that is good for us is going to come in pretty snuggly packages. Sometimes they are bloody painful.

Personally, I feel that yes, sometimes some of us get carried away. Sometimes I cringe, and sometimes I want to swing the 2x4 right at some stupid moron's head. But yanno, even stupid rude crude morons have internet service. AND, even rude crude stupid morons can use this site........as long as the powers that be, find them acceptable. I don't know anyone that is being forced to read or participate.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/24/2008 8:11:51 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 30

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:11:42 AM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I think it's wise to encourage people not to go on-line until they are able to navigate the world like any sensible adult.

Unfortunately, we would lose at least half of our user base.

Part of being a sensible adult is knowing how to act in public, and exercising that ability on a regular basis. To our dismay, it appears to be a skill many of our users seem to have never learned.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 31

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:13:26 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

Coming to CM or any internet site and being intimidate or feel your self worth threatened indicates you are suffering from too much 'virtual' and not enough 'reality'.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 32

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:15:26 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorEleven

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I think it's wise to encourage people not to go on-line until they are able to navigate the world like any sensible adult.

Unfortunately, we would lose at least half of our user base.

Part of being a sensible adult is knowing how to act in public, and exercising that ability on a regular basis. To our dismay, it appears to be a skill many of our users seem to have never learned.

XI

Lucky for all of us you're here, (and on other threads ~wink~), volunteering to keep our asses somewhat in line.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to ModeratorEleven)

Post #: 33

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:27:14 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: unbroken33
So, for the longest time I began cataloging those who initiate the type of behavior to see if they do the same in all the other forums they're on. It's quite easy to do, really. But again, I was stumped as there's no real pattern there. One thing I did notice is that some seemed to run in cliques, but only on here. That may indicate a couple ring leaders here, which is why that kind of behavior is not as prevalent other places.

I'm blown away by the fact that you actually spent time following posters around, I'm guessing googling them or just hitting the other kink sites (doesn't really matter), and "cataloging" their activities.

In the interest of full disclosure, I almost feel I should give you all my other screen names that I use on other forums. Almost.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 34

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:31:50 AM

osocurious

Posts: 676
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

......... do you know the original Native Americans did not wear leather or war paint? .......

...erm ... what did we wear??? ...
*batting eyelashes o-so innocently*
HEY!!!!! ... Are You Attacking Meeeeeeeeee????

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

......If you want group hugs, go to therapy ........

*sighs*
I wanna go into therapy wif CD

*snuggleshuggles*

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 35

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:32:33 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Personally I feel somewhat remiss. I don't go to other sites.

Quality over quantity.....or something like that.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 36

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:33:17 AM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Dude,

I am sorry that you feel, somehow, personally persecuted on this forum.... but really?

It is a discussion forum... you may bring up a point, and it may be debated....your point may end up having flaws, and those flaws found out, dissected and discredited...

Oh well...?

I do not think it is some sort of conspiracy to denigrate you (or specific others). It is just a message and debate forum.

I think if you go into the positive experiences part, you can get a fluffy grope for free.. but don't quote (or dissect or discredit) me on that!

Just let it slide.

< Message edited by puella -- 10/24/2008 8:34:49 AM >

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 37

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:39:02 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

I've said it before, this is a BDSM dating site, not "Hello Kitty Island Adventure". Yea it gets rough sometimes and yea people can be purile, immature and sometimes downright mean. Welcome to the Internet.

I believe that if anxt, anger or worry over an internet forum continues for more than 5 seconds after you leave the keyboard...you probably need a break and a refocus.

If introspection, consideration, and pondering over an internet forum continues for more than 5 seconds after you leave the keyboard...it is working as designed.

Take the good stuff...leave the junk. We are all adults here.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 38

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:46:16 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

We are all adults here.

Are you sure?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 39

RE: For those who attack or bully on here - 10/24/2008 8:48:53 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: unbroken33
So, for the longest time I began cataloging those who initiate the type of behavior to see if they do the same in all the other forums they're on. It's quite easy to do, really. But again, I was stumped as there's no real pattern there. One thing I did notice is that some seemed to run in cliques, but only on here. That may indicate a couple ring leaders here, which is why that kind of behavior is not as prevalent other places.

I'm blown away by the fact that you actually spent time following posters around, I'm guessing googling them or just hitting the other kink sites (doesn't really matter), and "cataloging" their activities.

In the interest of full disclosure, I almost feel I should give you all my other screen names that I use on other forums. Almost.

Cali

You know, that really creeped me out too. I have to wonder how anyone could possibly have that much free time on their hands.

I also don't get the whole "attack", "victim" mentality. I find it very difficult to feel "attacked" sitting right here in the comfort of my own home sipping on a hot cocoa.
Person A comes on and says "this is my position".
Person B comes on and says "I disagree".
Person A runs away whining about being "attacked".
Pfffffftttttttttttt!
Sip some more cocoa, pat the dog, throw another log on the fire....mmmmm.

Oh and....the last thing we need here on CM is for the Lord to Kumbaya (which really means "Come by here"). Now THAT would likely cause some serious shit to hit the fan.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 40

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