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Married and lied - 10/24/2008 9:03:58 PM

sexyb4u

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I am deeply in love with my Master,who I found out after 18 months together is married..Is it fair to be part of an affair?

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RE: Married and lied - 10/24/2008 9:14:28 PM

mistoferin

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Absolutely not. If all parties are not fully aware of everything going on and in full consent...how could it possibly be fair?

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RE: Married and lied - 10/24/2008 9:16:40 PM

Lockit

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LOL... there is nothing fair about someone who promises to love someone they lie to. There is nothing fair about a guy cheating on one who should be his best friend and then for eighteen months lies to the one he lies about. Are you serious?

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RE: Married and lied - 10/24/2008 9:37:39 PM

akisha

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I'm amazed it took 18 months to find out.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/24/2008 10:16:20 PM

kinkypuppy2

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VERY bad way to start any relationship and a M/s one where you need to have total trust...

Sorry its doomed to fail and best you move on...

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RE: Married and lied - 10/24/2008 10:58:22 PM

shatteredplaster

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D/s relationships thrive off of trust, and this is a blatant case of misplaced trust. If you feel you can bring this to his attention and talk through it...you could go that route. If not, I'd advise searching elsewhere.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/24/2008 11:01:12 PM

Usako

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I say gather up as much evidence of you and he as you can find and send it to the wife, then tell him to fuck off and move on.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/24/2008 11:21:26 PM

myotherself

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How could you possibly want to be with a guy who has no problem in telling you a lie of this magnitude? D/s or 'nilla, building a relationship on a foundation of lies guarantees disaster.

Gather your dignity and walk away. Leave the lying shit to deal with the mess he has created.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/24/2008 11:36:45 PM

HelenWheels

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But you are also "submitting" to his wife, who has far more rights than you, especially if there are kids, and I guarantee holds the cards. Do you not deserve to have someone who can devote himself fully to you, as you no doubt will to him?

My relationship with my married Dom ended abruptly not long ago, and but for the bittersweet memories that will no doubt continue for a time, it was not meant to be, for me. I heard him tell me it would be very difficult sometimes but he was referring to adjusting to the D/s life, I was also dealing with knowing he went home to his wife every night and couldn't spend it with me. Expect to have a difficult time during the holidays too.

My .02 cents.
Best of Luck to you.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 12:41:13 AM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

I say gather up as much evidence of you and he as you can find and send it to the wife, then tell him to fuck off and move on.

Gotta love them vindictive bitchs.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 12:43:32 AM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

I say gather up as much evidence of you and he as you can find and send it to the wife, then tell him to fuck off and move on.

Gotta love them vindictive bitchs.

BadOne

ROFL A cheaten man will do it every time!

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 1:33:17 AM

SirMIkeSD

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Move on and why is it that Post #1 is normally something like this, this is no different that a non-bdsm fling where 18 months into it you found out he lied to you.

Mike

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 3:19:10 AM

MistressChianti

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I don't post often - but this makes my skin crawl!!!

Curious as to any conversation prior to your new found knowledge that evolved around "trust" "open communication" and "honesty" and oh the big one... "respect"?

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 3:46:58 AM

antipode

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I don't understand your question - fair? It depends entirely on the circumstances, which you carefully neglect to mention. The "deeply in love" part I understand, but you don't say if that's unsolicited - your being deeply in love is really your problem, not anybody else's. But for the rest - what were your expectations? Does he know your expectations? Did you do your homework? Etc. One liner questions more often than not aren't answerable.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 4:05:33 AM

colouredin

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I dont think fairness comes into it really, its about morality and all that. You know that lying about stuff like that is bad, its started the relationship off on the wrong foot and how can you love someone who has kept a whole other side to themselves hiden, you dont lve him you love what he has projected ad as it has takenb 18 months im guessing hes a pretty good projectionist. You have to decide what you are comfortable with, personally I dont do affairs but some do.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 4:58:09 AM

KatyLied

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Is it fair? Fair to whom?
Next time work on better investigative skills. Things can be researched.
Oh, and I'm against the advice of outing him to his wife. She has misery enough in being married to him.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 5:31:20 AM

Roselaure

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What is not fair it to make someone part of an affair without their knowledge. He should have been upfront with you about his situation and allowed you to make your decisions accordingly.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 6:08:22 AM

Rover

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyb4u

I am deeply in love with my Master,who I found out after 18 months together is married..Is it fair to be part of an affair?

This question implies that you're considering the continuation of the relationship, and seeking justification to do so. I'm not going to lecture you on what you should or shouldn't do, because no one is expected to live up to my morals other than me and anyone I own.

But I will ask you a series of questions to determine a few things for yourself:

1. Is it acceptable to you that you've been lied to?

2. Is the way he is treating his wife predictive of how he will treat you?

3. Can you accept being the "other woman"?

4. Will you accept it when there is another "other woman"?

Your answers, your life.

John

< Message edited by Rover -- 10/25/2008 6:09:19 AM >

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 6:11:26 AM

sirsholly

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He is cheating on his wife and he will do the same to you. And as far as contacting his wife...i would not do it. Chances are she already knows.

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RE: Married and lied - 10/25/2008 7:15:50 AM

Elenaconfined

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Some men cheat some don't. Some do it openly (to the co-cheater) some lie. The big thing to remember is He Lied To You! And not just you but to the woman he said his vows to. It’s a big promise to brake. Do you think he wouldn't brake his word to you as well? Are you sure you are his only other? Could you ever (should he leave his wife for you) really trust him? The best rule to fallow is one of the oldest: If he'll do it with you he'll do it to you. He broke a huge trust just by not telling you in the first place. If you stay you are sure to start questioning everything he says at some point. Should his wife find out do you think he'd throw away his secure life for you? Married men are tricky at best. Lying married men will lead you on and uses you then go home every night to their family and lie to them. Save yourself some pain, move on. Love is not the same as infatuation.

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