quote:

ORIGINAL: Crazytwice

This question is posed primarily for Dominants but certainly most everyone has considered the process of developing trust, so all opinions/comments are welcome:

I understand that because I'm new to this lifestyle, I still struggle with questions many have had to face. Is this normal? What is my motivation? What if I find myself in a relationship and discover D/s just isn't a fit?

Meeting and talking with other subs and doms in addition to devouring everything I can read hasn't helped with these basic questions. Only experience will tell.

Because of my apprehension and inherent shyness, my getting to know a Dominant is a very slow process. It takes weeks to months for me to move off CM onto regular e-mail, phone and a first meet. I give the impression that I'm not sincere, that I'm creating an uphill battle, even that I'm "playing hard to get". I'm sure that Dominants are thinking of me and those like me when they complain " Where are the REAL submissives?"

I know that behaving difficultly or playing hard to get isn't on my agenda. It's just that, for me, opening up to someone, letting them in, is often a slow and laborious process.
Because I'm shy I have more often than not jumped into vanilla relationships quickly because it was easier than going through the process of allowing someone to get to know the real me. I refuse to do that again. I want the trust, the openness, the honesty; I want someone to embrace the real me.

And so, realizing that this isn't "all about me", I ask:
Is expecting a Dominant to tolerate my pace unreasonable?
I have read that many expect a meet within a few weeks to determine if there is potential.
Do some of you prefer the slower process and why?

Thanks in advance for any and all answers.
Your input is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,
CT