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guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 2:45:11 PM

stilllearning98

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2008
Status: offline

I am posting this to gather the opinion of a Master. I am an owned slave in a 2 year LDR who has made a mistake and misunderstood a rule that was given to me by my Master. I had gone out of town to be with family and was told to keep my Master informed of what I was doing, now I have traveled in the past and only have had to ask permission and keep Master informed on my whereabouts if I left the house. So when Master told me to keep him informed, I did just that, when I left the house I asked permission before I went if I was able to go and then when given permission, I made sure to inform Master of my whereabouts when away from the home.

Once I got back in town to my own home, I was surprised to have Master tell me that I had not followed his rules and disrepected him and would be punished. Since this time, Master has banned me from leaving the house to go anywhere other than work while he coordinates my punishment. I am to update him every hour as to what I am doing when I am in the house on punishment.

My punishment will be that I will have to watch my Master be intimate with another woman. This is something that Master has promised would never happen as this is a HUGE insecurity for me as I was cheated on in my vanilla marriage and so I have huge insecurities about this.

I guess what I am asking, is this is a fair punishment that I should just suck up and accept for my wrong doing or is this the point where I have to weigh that this is deliberate meanness and something that my Master has now lied about to me as he said this would never happen.

Post #: 1

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 2:50:18 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Honestly sounds like he wanted an excuse to bang another woman who wasn't long distance and he just found it.

I don't see how hw can say you didn't follow the rules if he didn't update the already exsisting rules he put in place for this current trip. I suggest talking to him and explaining, like a rational adult (if you haven't tried already) how it was just a misunderstanding. If he can't grasp that then tell him to have sex with the woman on his own because you won't watch; you'll be too busy looking for a local man with more understanding.

ZING...I mean, indeed.

(in reply to stilllearning98)

Post #: 2

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 2:52:35 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Please, do yourself a favor and take a long, deep bath in the reality pool. Then a shower of common sense.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to stilllearning98)

Post #: 3

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 2:56:33 PM

stilllearning98

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2008
Status: offline

Thank you to both of you for your honest feedback. I think you are both correct. I have told him that my breaking the rules was not intentional and I was treating the situation exactly like I have the other times that I have visited family and felt that i would accept punishment but not to this degree.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 4

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 2:57:59 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Sounds like he wanted justification for fucking another and decided to also put all of the guilt and blame on you. He's an ass. I'd tell him to fuck off.

_____________________________

(in reply to stilllearning98)

Post #: 5

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:00:14 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Do you accept that you broke his rule, or do you believe that since you did not know about his rule, you did not break it?

If you accept that you broke his rule, then whatever punishment he chooses to dish out is "fair." And really, you need to work on that ESP thing, because this will happen over and over. He isn't going to make his rules clear to you, because that gives him justification to do whatever he wants.

If however, you do not believe that you broke his rule, why do you believe you should accept his punishment? Why do you even believe you should trust him at all since this was something he promised he would never do?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 6

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:01:07 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I agree with everyone who has stated that he was merely looking for an excuse to be with another woman. Is this really the sort of man you find worthy to be called "master"?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 7

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:01:21 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Sounds like he wanted justification for fucking another and decided to also put all of the guilt and blame on you. He's an ass. I'd tell him to fuck off.

Please, Aileen... I am so disappointed when you sugar coat your opinion. How do you really feel?

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 8

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:03:18 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

tell us how you really feel , Aileen!! lol

OP - yep, I had an ex who pulled that same kind of stunt on me, although he wasnt a dom, he WAS an abusive ass.. (the punishment wasnt him fucking another chick, but thats not the point). The point is it seems he changed the rules without informing you. I agree.. point out to him that YOU are only as good as the information that HE gives you.. since he failed to notify you of the rule change, this level of punishment (in my mind ANY punishment) is out of line.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 9

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:04:59 PM

stilllearning98

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2008
Status: offline

I dont beleive i broke any rules because i have treated this time exactly like i have treated the other times that i have gone to visit family. i do accept some punishment for not asking for clarification of what keep him informed meant.

i dont agree with your accepting whatever punishment, i beleive the punishment should fit the crime. i think if he has repeatedly told me i am and will forever be the only one for him that to deliberatly use this as punishment is unforgiveable.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 10

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:06:59 PM

stilllearning98

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2008
Status: offline

thank greedy top. it seems through the last 2 years, he as Master has never made mistakes and since he believes as Master he never will, it seems the blame transfer occurs quite often in our relationship.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 11

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:07:00 PM

VoicesInTheDark

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline

I concur with Rover. The minutia of senseless and non purposful "rules" always astounds me. To have this happen from afar always appears to be a grasping at straws approach. If he can't create a dynamic where you can thrive, then why are you there? If the dynamic is of fear and uncertainty...then why are you there? Sounds like a narcisstic big baby cop out to punish you with his ineptness and or stupidity. Now would you like me to tell you what I really think?

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 12

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:08:12 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stilllearning98

thank greedy top. it seems through the last 2 years, he as Master has never made mistakes and since he believes as Master he never will, it seems the blame transfer occurs quite often in our relationship.

his name isnt Robin, is it?

sorry, sounds like the ex...

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to stilllearning98)

Post #: 13

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:08:52 PM

stilllearning98

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2008
Status: offline

Yes, i dont beleive that i am a stupid woman but really feel very insecure, anxiety ridden and really feel all i do is fail when all i want to do is succeed.

(in reply to VoicesInTheDark)

Post #: 14

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:09:27 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

oh honey.. you need outta there... *hug*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to stilllearning98)

Post #: 15

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:11:23 PM

stilllearning98

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2008
Status: offline

thanks greedy top. i think when we see each other next weekend, i will make the break. no, that's not his name. i really feel empty with a good Master, maybe that is why i have stayed so long

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 16

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:12:25 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Sounds like he wanted justification for fucking another and decided to also put all of the guilt and blame on you. He's an ass. I'd tell him to fuck off.

Please, Aileen... I am so disappointed when you sugar coat your opinion. How do you really feel?

John

Yeah...I've been much too nice lately. Gotta work on that.

_____________________________

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 17

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:12:53 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stilllearning98

i do accept some punishment for not asking for clarification of what keep him informed meant.

Why on earth would you think you need clarification? After all, the rule was the same. If his rule was that he gets two sugars in his coffee, would you ever ask for clarification if he didn't tell you he wanted it differently? He would probably think you were not terribly smart if you suddenly asked for clarification when you had been making his coffee for months.

Stop taking any of the blame for this. That's him talking, not you.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to stilllearning98)

Post #: 18

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:13:57 PM

stilllearning98

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2008
Status: offline

well i havent posted on this site before but i have read it almost everyday and i have to say honesty and bluntness is refreshing. if Master had been so clear and concise we wouldnt be here in this predicament now

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 19

RE: guidance to a slave from experienced Masters - 10/26/2008 3:16:28 PM

SoulPiercer

Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Why do you even believe you should trust him at all since this was something he promised he would never do?

Cali

Exactly.

He promised you that would never happen. You should draw the line.

First, I don't think he needed an excuse to be intimate with another woman. I think he needed an excuse to make you watch while he is intimate with another woman.

Let's say he promised you that he would never lock you in a closet with no light and allow huge spiders to crawl all over you. Then in order to punish you, he told you that he was going to do just that. Depending on how you feel about dark places and large spiders, you'd probably speak up and tell him no. I suggest you do that in this case. Because if you accept this punishment and at some point he ends things with you, it's going to be devestating.

_____________________________

Do you have any idea how many bones you have left for me to break? - Batman

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 20

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