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Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 3:47:29 PM

lobodomslavery

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its a thing that s kind of been bugging me lately. You know the drill so many people train to be so many things these days. If your out of work the first thing people will suggest is , oh you need to do a course and you can do courses in everything from accountancy to tying your shoe laces if you want. But like i say there are courses for every profession. People train to become solicitors, doctors , dentists, call centre operators gardeners you name it. I looked up training to be a Dominatrix and all i got was a series of sites with Dommes offering slaves training. But that wasnt my query. My query was simply Do Dommes or aspiring Dommes do training courses to become a Domme or is it case that most people go into this as a lifestyle choice without training. To Ladies i ask this did you train to become a Dominatrix in the same way solicitors teachers etc train to become professionally proficient and male subs/slaves would you be more comfortable with a Domme who was actually trained and qualified in what she was doing or does it make it any difference. If so why. Do you think we subs should ask this question of our Ladies when approaching to serve, after all most people have to be qualified to do the work they do, you wouldnt hire an untrained dentist would you, would you allow an untrained mechanic fix your car, so why do we not feel we should be able to ask this question of the Ladies, would be it rude to do so, unsubmissive, or as human beings is it our entitlement to know in reality how skilled or otherwise the Domme really is. i just thought id throw this out and see what reaction it gets , i look forward to the responses with interest.
kevin

Post #: 1

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 3:53:59 PM

moonvine

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Here locally there is SAADE, which I would assume is open to dominant women. Not being dominant myself I do not know too much about them.

http://houseofsaade.com.temp.realssl.com/

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 2

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:00:26 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
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From: Nashville, TN
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I was not formally trained to be a dominant. I had a mentor who instructed me on how to do a lot of the activities I enjoy. I learned the safety aspect from her, and other activities I have learned from other people. I would never have accredation. Personally I would not have anything against someone fixing my car who wasnt a trained mehanic. I have been fixing my own car for years just on what I have learned from my father. So, formal institution education isnt necessarily the only way to learn what you might need to know. Mentors can be very helpful, as can the submissives we involve ourselves with.

DV

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VampiresLair

(in reply to moonvine)

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RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:00:27 PM

Rover

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quote:

ORIGINAL: moonvine

Here locally there is SAADE, which I would assume is open to dominant women. Not being dominant myself I do not know too much about them.

http://houseofsaade.com.temp.realssl.com/

Evidently they haven't been training anyone since 2006.

Seriously, the truth is that there aren't any accredited universities of kink. And while there are a few places that will train for specific skills, there are fewer still that have the qualifications to do so.

Our "training" comes from workshops, demos, dungeons, watching, asking questions, trying it ourselves, making mistakes and learning from them, etc. It may be tempting to make it sound and appear to be something more elaborate and meaningful than that, but it's not.

John

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RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:01:13 PM

lobodomslavery

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Thanks for that moonvine. I d be interested to know is there a recognised training and a consistent standard that all Dommes must meet, what proportion of Ladies have actually trained to a standard and can actually have something on paper to prove that they are competent and how other male subs feel about it would we be more comfortable knowing that the Lady in question went through a training programme and is following best practice after all like i say we are not going to be comfortable going to have surgery on our teeth when we hear that the dentist has no training or experience so is going to a Domme not the same thing we are approaching a professional and we assume the person is competent but we actually have no way of knowing unless we ask, i mean im sure there are subs who have great experience s with great Dommes but equally there must be some stories of how a session went badly wrong when mistakes which could have been avoided happened. would training prevent these accidents or at least lessen the likelihood, anyway thats my two cent

(in reply to moonvine)

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RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:07:13 PM

lobodomslavery

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well the main thing was you actually may not have been formally trained but you were at the very least shown the ropes and the fact that you are safety conscious is also a huge plus and experience is probably the best teacher. thanks
respectfully
kevin

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 6

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:10:13 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
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From: Nashville, TN
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Safety conscious is not something you need to be trained for. You can learn that by reading online for the most part. Many of the people I learned from had not trained under anyone. They learned by trial and error with a healthy sense of safety.

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 7

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:11:43 PM

SassyBird

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I got formal training and graduated from a domme school called "life".

I find the idea of dominant individuals needing "training" in living their life and their kinks about as silly as a slave needing said "training" in living their lives and kinks.
Everyone has a different taste, and different interests. The trick is to merge his kinks with my own and ideally both enjoying the situation.

Playing safe and sane there really isnt need for formal training and graduation in my opinion. Safety first, look at others doing it (i.e. at a club or with friends) and read up on all the ins and outs before trying something new should be enough.

I strongly doubt anyone is out to harm or maim another human being here. That's not being a dominant. That's being a psychopat.

Just my own thought,
SB

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 8

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:13:31 PM

lobodomslavery

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i respect that totally. the target of my thesis is not so much yourself. You are an experienced and mature Mistress, No im more concerned about the 18-22 age group who just stumble on the lifestyle because they have this idea that they are superior or whatever they want to beat men i dont know and because they may not have awareness of what they are doing they may cause injuries to the clients they take in
kevin

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 9

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:20:59 PM

lobodomslavery

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Yeah i mean You definitely sound quite educated from your profile etc. But i mean you have experience now but would you get offended if someone asked you in the past or even now have you much experience with whatever activity was in question, i suppose what im asking has a sub ever questioned your abilities not in a cribbing way but just more out of concern for both Yourself and him and how would you react if that happened. it s really not a question of being a psychopath either , someone can damage someone else unintentionally by for example hitting in the wrong part of the legs the face, the groin etc not to mention the latest bastinado fad , beating of the feet which seems to me to be rife with possibility for accidents. i mean the fact is a Domme can cripple a man for life if she does not know what she's doing in that instant. Equally you can break someone's jaw if faceslapping is done wrong. it is nothing to do with malice it can be done accidentally. Thanks for your contribution and im sure we'll bump into each other from time to time on collarme
respecfully
kevin

(in reply to SassyBird)

Post #: 10

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:29:30 PM

SassyBird

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Joined: 8/16/2008
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quote:

would you get offended if someone asked you in the past or even now have you much experience with whatever activity was in question

No, I wouldnt be offended at all.
Regardless off what it was he/she asked me about I would answer truthfully (have experience with it / have read up on it / know nothing about it).
If I didnt know anything about it I would take initiative to learn more about it even if it would be something grossing me out totally, simply because life is a school and I love to learn new things.
Besides, in my opinion one cant take a stance on an issue without knowing the facts about it first.

Good luck, and I hope you find your answers.
SB

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 11

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:32:33 PM

Lockit

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I don't mean to be disrespectful here... but... ROFL! From my own thoughts! I never once was instructed on how to give a blow job and I hear and see that I do pretty well on that. I never once had to train to spank or run a house or anything else. Now, for safety, I would do demo's or classes from experienced persons if the topic was something I felt needed for safety matters, but you know, it isn't rocket science to understand fire burns, a whip can cut or you should look both ways before you cross a street. I'm sorry, but I do not want anyone... not anyone telling me how to run my household or relationships and really...lol... pose no danger to my loved one's. Nor do I want a submissive trained by someone else. There are just some things one ought to do for themselves. lol

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RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:33:50 PM

lobodomslavery

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Thank you . No i just want to know what people feel about it. Thats all. Its good to talk as we say in Dublin
kevin

(in reply to SassyBird)

Post #: 13

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:40:51 PM

Celene

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I would be concerned about 18 (give or take a half dozen years) year old "Dommes" ... but they always seem to have at least half a lifetime's worth of "experience.
So maybe there is a "domme hs".

Who knows? ... I don't believe it when I read it, but then I'm old and clearly jaded. Oh, and I work for a charter hs.... and one of the rooms I call a "cave" but I don't see these young women as all that dominant or experienced... must be the online training.
Now, that I know a bit more about.

(in reply to SassyBird)

Post #: 14

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:42:35 PM

lobodomslavery

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Oh Maam, i m not inferring that. i m not telling you how to run your household. Look your a good person Lockit. we both suffer from similar problems. you know my story and i know a bit of yours. i m just kind of trying to gain a perspective on this and what people feel about the burning issue at hand. its absolutely ok for you to express yourself like this. thats good. its just i think we all know accidents can happen and at the end of the day its about trying to make it a better world for both sub and Domme. You know i think a good Domme is going to be upset if something untoward happens and i suppose what im saying is we all need to rely on the support of others from time to time. And maybe experienced Dommes helping younger Dommes might be a good thing to encourage or at least . But yeah i get what your saying perhaps not all starting off Dommes would be amenable to that. So yeah your right we dont live in a perfect world. Again thank you Lockit. Your post is appreciated. We need all types of approaches. Otherwise this group would die. And obviously people are going to say who does this guy think he is or something like that and thats good . it would be a peculiar world if we all agreed with each other
respectfully
kevin

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 15

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:48:38 PM

lobodomslavery

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Yeah a lifetime of experience at 18 even 25-30 how are you? People who say that i think its a big red flag. You know i get completely what you say Maam.. And i suppose that's what im getting at, people going in cold and maybe becoming a Domme just to take out their anger on guys, like one said she became a Domme because she did not want to have a male boss for me that smells trouble. People with angry dispositions are really dangerous and Dommes of 18- 25 even 30 in some cases, i know i would be nervous not because they are Domme but because they may not know what they are doing and in S and M that can spell disaster
Thanks
kevin

(in reply to Celene)

Post #: 16

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:51:38 PM

Lockit

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(smile) Kevin, it is all good. lol That just struck me as funny because of where my mind went. I wasn't meaning to talk to you directly maybe the way you took it. I have seen wonderful mentors and people that do give demo's and write and it all works together for those who use them, but as for a school or degree... I don't know about that. I might get bashed for this, but I don't know of one I would use, but that is me, a wild card maybe or full of attitude about some things.

I mean... learning skills in kink, I am all for some of that, but the day I need to get a degree to entice or inspire submission from a man is the day I hang up my woman hat! lol Retire from all things sexual and take up some hobby that doesn't require much more than sitting here.. oh shit... I am there... hehe

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 17

RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:52:31 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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There is tons of info out there. Many groups offer demos and workshops plus there are the occasional fetish weekends. The Flea in Boston, Shibaricon in Chicago, Fetish Fair in San Francisco, Domcon in Atlanta. Lots of places to learn more advanced techniques.

But for general, where not to hit info, Jay Wiseman's books are the first place to turn. After that, draw a picture of a body on a body pillow and practice hitting only the good places. But there isn't much damage you can do with an otk spanking and a hand, or even a hairbrush or slipper as long as you know enough to avoid the tailbone. Dragging your nails over someone, ditto even if it's a vampire glove. Tons of low risk activities out there that are still fun.

You need to educate yourself so you can tell if what she proposes to do is too risky for you, and also to tell if she knows what she's doing.

Beyond that, ask her. Ask her where she learned to do suspension bondage, ask her how she attached the frame to the ceiling. If you know what's right or wrong, you'll be able to tell her no way when she just used an eyebolt into the drywall.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 11/1/2008 5:01:37 PM >

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RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:54:05 PM

IvyMorgan

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From: Midlands, UK
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OP, you're talking about hiring dentists... I'm wondering if you're therefore referring to "pro" dommes who charge and are hired, as opposed to those who are dominant in their relationship with their SO. If there is some sort of standardised training for those in a professional role does make sense as a question, whilst asking whether everyone with a certain sexual orientation has been trained in the same methods and/or to be that way does not.

For myself, I have been taught many technical skills, though I am rusty with some of them, but knowing such skills does not mean I am a dominant in terms of orientation.

(in reply to Celene)

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RE: Where do Women get their Domme training - 11/1/2008 4:55:44 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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experience doesnt mean you know what your doing. so 1 year or 30 years of experience means nothing.

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