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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/7/2008 11:22:00 AM   
greeneyes600


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In my view a dominant is a dom for sessions whereas a master is a dom for 24/7.  No difference between them except one lives it for real and the other enjoys it as and when he can in sessions.

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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/7/2008 8:42:56 PM   
TabrisMaceth


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
“What is endless and with an end? What is not endless and not with an end?”


Long Cat. Think about it.

-Tabris

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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/7/2008 10:19:27 PM   
wh1speringw1nds


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist


"Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to do what they are told."

I don’t see a difference in either statement as they apply to any subordinant.  Yet it seems like it is trying to explain a difference between slaves and submissives.

I have good grasp of the English language but, this common slogan escapes my ability to understand it.  I have looked at it quite seriously wondering if there was some blind spot in my personality structure that prevented me from seeing the reason so many people put this quote in their profiles. 

Anyone care to shed some light on this?


As i don't see the message boards that often, this may have already been answered similarly, but here goes.

The way i was trained is that a collared submissive still may make choices and limits that their Dom/me respects and agrees to.

A slave, especially in TPE; freely gives up all rights to make their own choices and limits.  Giving their Dom/me the right to be the One who makes all decisions.

This is just my own knowledge and feelings on the matter, no harm intended to anyone's feelings or opinions.

_____________________________

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Respect is Earned, Not Given.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/7/2008 10:29:40 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist


"Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to do what they are told."

Anyone care to shed some light on this?

It's an error. I say this because the only difference I see between the common definitions of subs and slaves is the degree of themselves and their lives which they surrender. Within the constructs of that surrender (for either a slave or sub) both "need to be told what to do" and "do what they are told."

Or perhaps the insinuation in this is that subs are expected to indulge in random whimsical rebellion while slaves are not?


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/9/2008 11:21:49 AM   
MissDragonLady


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Let's see here my take on the differance between a sub and slave are very simple
and mind you i have been in the life style and living it for 38 years now and am no newbe at this
have been on both sides of the coin
but my take on the differance is this a sub sets his or her limits and a slave has no say in his or her limits
before ya'll go off on me that doesnt mean a slave has none it just means he or she dont impose them on his or her Master

And i feel and beleave a person can have a slave heart its what they feel inside its who they are right to the core of their heart

as far as a Dom choosing thats up to the Dom its all in what they are looking for and will they be living the life style or will it just be BDSM
i'm not asking for any one to agree with me or hollor at me just stating my 2 cents and how i see things
MissDragonLady


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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/12/2008 11:51:43 AM   
greeneyes600


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and....the slave or sub only has no limits if they match her masters.  In other words if both the master and sub had the same limits, then the sub could say she has none....

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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/12/2008 9:06:46 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
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From: North Carolina, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

"Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to do what they are told."
Anyone care to shed some light on this?


Sorry, but this just sounds like someone's attempt to simplify something that is very complex and shouldn't be condensed into a one-liner.  People (even submissive people and slaves) and their various needs shouldn't be reduced to a catchy little slogan.  To try to do that is just stupid and nonproductive, to me.  i am a submissive woman and always have been but, i am far more than that. Submissiveness is just one component of my being and my needs go far beyond "being told what to do".  As a slave to my Master, my needs are much more than simply doing what i am told."  Being told what to do, is something that i accept as the way my Master communicates His needs and wants to me.  Doing what i'm told (by my Master) is what i do as a way of serving Him, which is what i like to do.
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David

_____________________________

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~Dr. Howard Thurman

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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/12/2008 9:21:29 PM   
slavegirljoy


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From: North Carolina, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissDragonLady

a sub sets his or her limits and a slave has no say in his or her limits
before ya'll go off on me that doesnt mean a slave has none it just means he or she dont impose them on his or her Master

i'm not asking for any one to agree with me or hollor at me just stating my 2 cents and how i see things
MissDragonLady


Well, MissDragonLady, you may not be asking for anyone to agree with you but, i do.  You have very succinctly said what many have tried to say but, never seemed to be able to.  THANK YOU! 
 
A "no limits" slave means they don't impose their limits on their Master.  That's it in a nutshell.  At least, that's how my Master and i use the term. 
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David

_____________________________

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~Dr. Howard Thurman

(in reply to MissDragonLady)
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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 2:21:23 AM   
masterforRT


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Submissives are kept, while slaves are owned.

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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 5:36:20 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Submissives are kept, while slaves are owned.


o.O

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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 5:38:45 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


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So are dominants renters and masters landlords?

Edited to add:  Sorry MRT, I'm not picking on you.  I just find you keep giving my sense of humor too much to work with.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 11/13/2008 5:42:10 AM >

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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 6:28:42 AM   
Noelledoll


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i appreciate the privilege to express an opinion.

There is a distinct differencebetween a submissive and a slave. It is not--with respect, Sir, found directly in the action of the person, rather in that of his/her One.

i can elaborate on it exstensively, but summarize it in two sentences.:

A slave will lay down her life for her Mistress

A Mistress will lay down Her life for Her submissive.

Submissively, noelle

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 6:37:47 AM   
Rover


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noelledoll

A slave will lay down her life for her Mistress

A Mistress will lay down Her life for Her submissive.


And if they both lay down their lives for each other?  So if I don't care very much for my girl, she's a slave?
 
Honestly, when will folks just quit with the cutesie rhetorical phrases that are absolutely meaningless. 
 
John

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Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Noelledoll)
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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 9:33:47 AM   
IronBear


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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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I have to dissagree here John. My personal histpory will show that I have taken injuries including a knife and a buller protecting people in my home and have executed a group of repists who gang raped my 18 year old god daughter in SE Asia when police refused to lift a finger.. Whilst I do not expect a slave on mine to recriprocate I have had girls who would because that is what they wer crought culturally to do. 

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http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to Rover)
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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 9:37:43 AM   
Rover


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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I have to dissagree here John. My personal histpory will show that I have taken injuries including a knife and a buller protecting people in my home and have executed a group of repists who gang raped my 18 year old god daughter in SE Asia when police refused to lift a finger.. Whilst I do not expect a slave on mine to recriprocate I have had girls who would because that is what they wer crought culturally to do. 


IronBear, you're a stand-up guy.  But just what in the world does any of that have to do with being a slave or submissive?  If there is any meaning there whatsoever, it has been completely lost on me.
 
John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 9:39:42 AM   
KatyLied


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From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

Honestly, when will folks just quit with the cutesie rhetorical phrases that are absolutely meaningless. 


My best guess:  not in our lifetime


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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 12:07:50 PM   
ResidentSadist


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A
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

Submissives are kept, while slaves are owned.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

So are dominants renters and masters landlords?

Edited to add:  Sorry MRT, I'm not picking on you.  I just find you keep giving my sense of humor too much to work with.

I realize we have gone far beyond the face value of the OP to define the underlying motives of that slogan and derive meaning from it.  So I add my 2 cents about ownership and authority.  In discussing the realities of ownership I have said that “My dog is my slave and I own it, I can prove it.  I have a sales receipt.  I cannot say the same about my slave.”  In looking at the tangible realities between negotiated D/s authority vs the M/s absolute authority (defined as ownership by most), the D/s crowd often states that they are the same and nit picking over the degree of authority to define different lifestyles becomes arbitrary. 

To me it becomes like a case of measuring loyalty.  Would you sacrifice your life for your beliefs and fight to death?  If that belief is a M/s lifestyle where authority is mandate and without it you would “sacrifice” the relationship before giving up authority, whereas in D/s they would rather negotiate the authority, then it is not arbitrary and a definable line or form of measure can be established. 

That leaves an interesting moral question about love and loyalty and perhaps a defining line for those that wish to know whether TPE (M/s) is right for them.  How would you feel about someone that would end a relationship before they would sacrifice or negotiate their authority in an area of it?

I am a mean old bastard and I ended a wonderful and loving relationship when after 2 years my girl discovered she was not interested being a slave anymore and wanted me to go vanilla with her.  I broke her heart and my own rather than live a vanilla lifestyle.  Personally, I do not count that a positive human attribute on my part, whether she knew that was a “boundary” or not when the relationship began. 

I do not think the M/s community will advance in conveying an understanding of what makes them/us tick as long as “ownership” is used to define their feelings.  I think we have to modify our outlook and truly define the extent the importance of “authority” has to make the rest of the BDSM community gain insight into what makes us tick. 


< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 11/13/2008 12:08:49 PM >


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RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 2:18:38 PM   
mummyman321


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From: Dusseldorf
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

"Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to do what they are told."

Anyone care to shed some light on this?


I do not agree with the statement and to me it makes no sense. I am a submissive but I can honestly say that rarely do I need to be told what to do. It makes us sound like we do not have a brain. Being that I am very dominant at work and that I tell a lot of people what to do at work, submission for me is letting go. Submission is being able to enjoy the power exchange between the Domme and I. Its about reaching the point where I no longer can tell the difference between pleasure and pain. If my Domme needs to tell me what to do, I have had a very bad day then.



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Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 2:34:35 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

In discussing the realities of ownership I have said that “My dog is my slave and I own it, I can prove it.  I have a sales receipt.  I cannot say the same about my slave.”  In looking at the tangible realities between negotiated D/s authority vs the M/s absolute authority (defined as ownership by most), the D/s crowd often states that they are the same and nit picking over the degree of authority to define different lifestyles becomes arbitrary. 

To me it becomes like a case of measuring loyalty.   

I do not think the M/s community will advance in conveying an understanding of what makes them/us tick as long as “ownership” is used to define their feelings.  I think we have to modify our outlook and truly define the extent the importance of “authority” has to make the rest of the BDSM community gain insight into what makes us tick. 


Just a couple of thoughts about what you have written. 

1) The dogs in this house are not slaves to anyone.  i am a slave to our dogs, not the other way around.  i serve their needs all day long, especially the 2 big dogs who are both still young, full of energy, run around the backyard getting filthy, hungry and tired, then come inside, tracking their dirt in with them, which i must clean up after, feed them, give them plenty of fresh water throughout the day, pet them, brush them, clean their teeth and ears, help my Master bathe them and clip their nails and make them feel valued and loved.  Having these dogs has quadrupled my daily workload.  The papers say that i am their owner.  Master listed me as their owner on their paperwork.  But, they own me.  They are loyal to me and my Master but, He and i are also loyal to them.  If we weren't, we would have gotten rid of them after they chewed up several pairs of shoes, hats, a very nice cane and the sofa.  They do listen to me, somewhat, and they will sit and come, when i tell them to.  But, that's because i bribe them with treats. 

2) To me, the difference between a relationship that involves a Dominant and a submissive, compared to one that involves a Master and a slave, depends on the people involved.  In my case, my Master has more power and control over me because He wants more power and control over me.  As His slave, i am no more submissive or loyal or obedient than i have been with every other man i have ever been involved with, whether they were dominant over me or not.  If any of the men in my previous relationships had chosen to exert more control over me, they could have.  As it was, i served them as much as they wanted me to serve them and they liked that but, they just didn't want to be the boss of me the way my Master does. 

Similarly, being married doesn't mean there is more commitment or loyalty in the relationship.  There are couples who live together for many years without ever getting married but, they are every bit (or more so) committed to each other as they would be if they had a marriage license.  And, there are people who are married to each other but, barely have anything to do with each other and seem to care very little about each other.  They barely talk to each other or do anything together and probably wouldn't really miss the other if they were suddenly gone.  

Regardless of what terms they choose to describe their relationship, whether D/s or M/s, it really just depends on the people involved and what they put into the relationship and what they wish to get out of the relationship.

3) Negotiation exists in the relationship i have with my Master, even though when I entered into this relationship with Him, i surrendered to Him my "right to choose" or make my own decisions or to say "no".  Of course, He has the final say in everything but, there is still open dialog between us and the opportunity for me to discuss ideas with Him and to make requests, etc., even if it results in a change in our 'normal' way of doing things.  That doesn't mean that He gives up any power over me.  It just means that, as new situations arise, adjustments sometimes need to be made, in order for our relationship to remain strong, healthy, viable, stimulating, and satisfying to both of us.

4) What makes me tick is unique to me, whether i am a slave to another or not.  i don't "tick" like every other slave or anyone else, for that matter.  We are all unique, whether we happen to call ourselves slaves, submissives, kinksters, BDSM'ers or whatever.  We may have some interests in common but, that doesn't make us all tick the same.

joy
Owned servant of Master David
 

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: -=Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves ne... - 11/13/2008 3:32:01 PM   
Eliana


Posts: 9
Joined: 11/3/2008
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I think it means the same thing, but it makes your head hurt momentarily thinking about it, kinda like those old problems maths teachers would give you, "if the train leaves Chicago at 6 am in the morning with 90 lbs of bananas and 18 red apples on board, and it picks up 7 passengers, what time will it reach......?"

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 120
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