quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Can verbal humiliation be used as a tool to "build up" a person?  
If someone has experience with this, on either side, please explain. 

*I did do a search on this and found many threads on humiliation and one on verbal but no real answer on how to use it for positive results.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Can verbal humiliation be used as a tool to "build up" a person?  
If someone has experience with this, on either side, please explain. 

*I did do a search on this and found many threads on humiliation and one on verbal but no real answer on how to use it for positive results.

A lot depends on the person on the "receiving" end and the person on the "giving" end sitting down and figuring out what embarasses the receiver while at the same time sexually exciting them.  For some folks, just hearing their partner talk dirty to them..."I want to put you on your knees because that makes your round ass just that much more enticing for fucking/spanking/biting/etc" or "God, I really want to fuck your hot cunt/cock"...is humiliating and yet affirmative of their sexual attractiveness to their partner.  Being called a "hot, horny fuckslut" works for some, being called "MY hot assfuck-craving cumslut" works for others but they work because it takes dark needs/desires/concerns and turns them into positive attributes.  Taking a submissive who is insecure about her weight and telling her "God...you are such a hot fuckwhore...for a fat girl" is not liable to make her feel good.  That is...in my opinion...degradation dressed up as "just doing humiliation".  No...degradation takes away from self-worth, humiliation...done right...adds to it.

Screw the Roses also has good examples of verbal humiliation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

Can verbal humiliation be used as a tool to "build up" a person?  
If someone has experience with this, on either side, please explain. 

*I did do a search on this and found many threads on humiliation and one on verbal but no real answer on how to use it for positive results.

It's an interesting question. My experience was to be humiliated and degraded in ways I didn't think or realize I could handle. But, with his help, I did handle it. The result of my esteem/confidence being built was not realized until later. I was in a horrible situation (not D/s related) in which I didn't think I could take any more of it (it had to do with things that were happening to my Dad when he was ill, and helping my mom take care of it). At one point I went to the bathroom to compose myself, and was unable to leave the bathroom. We're talking totally paralyzed when trying to reach for the doorknob. I knew I had to go back out there and help my mom so I reached for whatever was in my mind that I could pull from. I somehow came upon some of the most degrading things my former Master had done, and I realized, Hell, if I could handle THAT, then surely I can handle THIS, and in that moment my hand reached for the door and I went back out there.

My point is, because of what I was able to take humiliation/degradation-wise, I knew I could handle pretty much any unpleasantry I might come across. And knowing that gave me an enormous confidence that I did not have before.

Tread carefully, though. Without the dom/master's help and reassurance, this practice can be more damaging than helpful.