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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 6:55:20 AM

CruelDesires

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Some people have no class. Being blunt and honest has nothing to do with it.

C-D

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 7:05:00 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Some people have no class. Being blunt and honest has nothing to do with it.

C-D

Agrees with CD

I have been sent pictures that make me go 'UHHH mother of god NO' but in a million years I would never tell them they are ugly because that is just plain nasty.

When I first joined here I made a mistake about my weight and put my lb size into Kilo's which obviously meant I was big. I got some really rude mail.... especially from English guys. Why?

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 7:05:57 AM

Ellsa

Posts: 37
Joined: 6/16/2007
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What I am saying is let it go. Thicken your skin. We all know the players outnumber the real people on here, it comes with the territory.
There is enough hurt in the world. Don't volunteer for it and don't add to it.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 7:08:00 AM

OrionTheWolf

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Sure it has something to do with it, but to disagree with it makes you seem like you have class.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Some people have no class. Being blunt and honest has nothing to do with it.

C-D

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 7:10:23 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

I don't know that he disregarded your feelings - he said what he thought, I assume. What he said is his perception, and you wanted him to sugarcoat his truth. Dunno that that would help. When I get mail from somebody who is obese I tell 'em I don't do fat women. If he did not otherwise get nassty or insult you, you really should get over it. Remember this is his perception, he has a right to his opinion, and you shouldn't be overly sensitive. I personally don't think this had anything to do with "disregarding your feelings" - if you can't take the heat, etc.

Yanno, you seem to have the compassion of a toad. Ever heard of the word tact? You can say something without destroying a person. Its called compassion. Buy some.

p.s. Some of us dont do skinny old geezers but we would probably phrase it different.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 7:51:04 AM

MadAxeman

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You rocker

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 8:05:31 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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Compassion, Tact, Feelings and the like are all things we wish people would have. But they Don't!

I have been a Fat, Awkward, Emotional Individual since I was 3, I got Beat, Kicked, and Teased my ENTIRE LIFE. Thicker Skin Comes in Handy at times it makes you Cold and Heartless at others.

To the Op, If you want to stop that from happeneing again Post a Profile Pic and then there will be no emotional head games unless they are just Cold Hearted Bastards. However I doubt that you are infact Ugly, I believe you were just not what HE considered attractive and I am sure if you got to know him much better you would have seen that it was HIM that was Ugly and not worth your time.

Beauty is in the Eye of the beholder, just not always in the eyes we wished it would be.

Steel

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 8:37:53 AM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: usemekinky

I had a Dom whom I have been speaking with for a little over a week tell me after I sent them a pic that they weren't interested because I was ugly. I was upset, I'll live, but it's hard not to take that personally.

I don't have a lot of experience, so I was wondering, is it common for a Dom to disregard a subs feelings in this way?

Keep in mind there are plenty of users on this website who have a lot of personal issues, and vent / express them through the safe anonymity (or glamour) of the keyboard. Some are filled with such self apathy and social dysfunction that they feel they must hurt others needlessly. Some are just "plain mean". Places like these tend to pool together a considerable amount of bigots, haters, zealots and egotists who have something to prove or get out of their system; it's their little way of leaving a mark on the world to vent their ignorance or spleen. I'd be willing to bet the individual you spoke with fits somewhere in this paragraph.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 9:44:18 AM

RealSub58

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quote:

ORIGINAL: usemekinky

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

~Fast Reply~

Did they specifically say "No, I think you are ugly" or was that the boiled down answer? I ask because it does matter if they tried to word it politely.

No, he specifically said I was ugly.

Had he of gracefully bailed out I would have been fine with it. I talk to a few Doms on here as friends who I'm aware are not interested in me in that way.

Are you sure bailing out by several methods people use would have been fine by you? Graceful is not usually how people bail. This might have been a post of... I sent him a pic and never heard from him again, what's the deal? On the positive side: he was honest with you, although blunt and mean (many people post on these boards blunt and mean). He did not appreciate the outward beauty he saw on a picture, thus he never appreciated the inner beauty you possess. Someone much better than he will appreciate both inner and outer and you will be completely adored. It might take a while longer but if you have patience, all good things come to those who wait.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 9:51:26 AM

lamortbleue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: usemekinky

I had a Dom whom I have been speaking with for a little over a week tell me after I sent them a pic that they weren't interested because I was ugly. I was upset, I'll live, but it's hard not to take that personally.

I don't have a lot of experience, so I was wondering, is it common for a Dom to disregard a subs feelings in this way?

Personally, i think that's a bit harsh. Sure, you should be honest about your wishes, desires and attractions. However, I do not feel people need to degrade someone in order to encompass those views. I think people are either beautiful or ugly by how they display their insides rather then their outsides (no I do not mean how they disembowel and show those insides..i mean their soul, personality etc). If you are a bitter and spiteful person who reeks of negativity, then in reality you are truly the ugly person, no matter how much you look like America's next top model. Anyways, those are my two cents and I hope you find what you are looking for Usemekinky =)

Rain

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 10:44:33 AM

girlygurl

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It's not normal, in fact it's down right rude! An individual such as this is a shallow piece of poop. I've got a bumper sticker and this jack ass deserves to wear it on their forehead. "MEAN PEOPLE SUCK"

girly

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 11:00:01 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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Put a picture up on your profile then people who'll rule you out cause they're not attracted to you based on looks alone won't contact you.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 11:57:50 AM

RedMagic1

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Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

Sure it has something to do with it, but to disagree with it makes you seem like you have class.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Some people have no class. Being blunt and honest has nothing to do with it.

C-D

I'll disagree with you, too... but, as I am sure you realize, it is only because I want to seem as though I have class. Consideration for others is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is how others consider me. After all, I'm the Dom.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:10:10 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
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don't take the negativity so personal. i alongwith many others have been in your shoes before. i

've been told i'm too fat to be a submissive to BDSM was only for the beautiful people as well as why would someone want to dominate my fat ass - and these were coming hngs(horny net guys) who had no picture attacthed to their profile. yes, those types of messages did hurt however i would brush them with this reply (if they didn't block me): well you're no Greek Adonis without a picture to prove it. simply ignore, block and delete ...you'll be much happier.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:12:47 PM

MadRabbit

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As someone who is almost always direct and blunt, I would say "I'm not interested" and if pushed on the issue, I would say "Because I just don't find you physically attractive to me and you will be much better off with a person who is able to see what I can't."

Direct and blunt doesn't have to be negative and destructive. It can be positive and constructive.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:13:14 PM

oceanwynds

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Life goes easier when you do not expect everyone who calls themself a 'whatever' to behave in a manner fitting for the 'whatever' role. Also life goes easier when you do not attach personal emotions to how a 'whatever' views or sees you. Way to look at it might be in ten years from now will you even care? Don't give your power to someone who you have not built time to know, or sends their unsoliticed opinion of who you are or arent via email.

oceanwynds.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:17:13 PM

MasterTslave

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I would say that is not normal. He just sounds like a jerk...very insecure about himself. People like different looks. I know some men that think that thin women are hot and others like them bigger...it is just human nature, if we all were attracted to the same kind of person that had the same look, don't you think that we would ALL look the same? He isn't worth your tears...just chalk it up to him being a pig (or maybe it was a 15 year old girl that freaked out because you wanted to get together and she freaked because she knew she'd been had).

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:20:03 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

When I get mail from somebody who is obese I tell 'em I don't do fat women.

there's better way you could handled that without being so blatantly rude.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:22:39 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

Consideration for others is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is how others consider me.

Given the interconnection between the two, you contradict yourself.

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RE: Is this normal or just mean? - 11/6/2008 12:33:01 PM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
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Obfuscation.

1.
to confuse, bewilder, or stupefy.

2.
to make obscure or unclear: to obfuscate a problem with extraneous information.

C-D

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