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RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 6:25:53 AM   
angelsub2LuvU


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I was reading this and also wondered what you were hoping for. So, you are hoping for him to break her heart for the sake of yours, it seems.


Don't judge me when you don't know me and when you don't know her. SHE has broken his heart. She'd ,ale his life hell on earth as much as possaible if he left. Although he should leave in reality it's not that simple.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 6:42:43 AM   
angelsub2LuvU


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		[/quote]

To the OP, you knew this man was married; you've made your bed so lie it in, or find another bed.
[/quote]

[/quote]

To the OP, you knew this man was married; you've made your bed so lie it in, or find another bed.
[/quote]

I'm not bitching here about him being married. yes, I made the bed and I choose to lay in it. When we started 5 years ago it was not supposed to be that way for long...but, that is something I don't wish to get in here. He IS my Dom.  I love, respect and cherish what time we have together.  Although part of my disobedience involved invading his privacy because he is married , I am not consuming myself with the fact he's married, nor am I trying to get into a discussion about it. There are other sites to go to if I wanted to bitch and whine about it. I'm not going to leave him because he is married. Like I said before, him leaving is not that simple and I know that for a fact. Why should he not find a little happiness in life?  For what he does and goes through he deserves an obedient sub worthy of his hand and of his love. That is why I am here. To search within myself to correct --to learn for masters and sub wiser than myself.  I thank everyone who have posted.--I mean that, thank you, and please continue if you have something valuable to contribute, but please, don't be so harsh to judge my relationship with him unless you know all the facts. And the facts...  well, some things are too private. But I can assure you I am not some "home wrecker"
(boy, did I get up on the wrong side of the bed or what?)

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 6:54:56 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelsub2LuvU


Although he should leave in reality it's not that simple.



It never is.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to angelsub2LuvU)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 7:54:14 AM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I think you should be damned grateful, good Doms don't grow on trees.

(in reply to angelsub2LuvU)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 8:04:52 AM   
angelsub2LuvU


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		I am very greatful...  and yes, I know it.

(in reply to tweedydaddy)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 9:42:06 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		I just thought i would state what i am sure you actively know even if you don't want to admit it to yourself.  He could leave her if he really wanted too.  It may be difficult for him but life choices always are.  It sounds to me as if you are both happy to live in the fantasy fueled concept of the excuses you both are making to have this relationship.  That is fine as long as you both realize the fantasy world of existance and excuses you are both making to be together.  You believing he really wants to leave but can't and him stating to you he wants to but can't. 

Good luck.  A man having an affair is not remaining with his wife because he can't leave or its not that simple, a Man is remaining with his wife because the simplicity is -- he wants to remain with his wife. 

angel

(in reply to angelsub2LuvU)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 9:52:35 AM   
angelsub2LuvU


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		maybe I am living in a fantasy world--  but I do not think so. There are more people involved than just the tow of us. I appreicate the input and will think about it.  It really isn't that simple though.
If living in the here and now he would leave. but we have to thik about the future and every possaible thing.

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 9:59:19 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

a Man is remaining with his wife because the simplicity is -- he wants to remain with his wife.


This is the truth.  If he wanted to leave he would take the steps necessary, negotiate with her and be out the door.  He likes his life.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to angelsub2LuvU)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 10:03:49 AM   
angelsub2LuvU


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		nope, still not that simple. There are other factors involved. Financial, health, and the well being of others.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: punishment--??? - 11/15/2008 11:37:29 AM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelsub2LuvU

maybe I am living in a fantasy world--  but I do not think so. There are more people involved than just the tow of us. I appreicate the input and will think about it.  It really isn't that simple though.
If living in the here and now he would leave. but we have to thik about the future and every possaible thing.


Sorry but, uhhh no. Five years together and he hasn't left his wife? Wake up, he isn't going to. Whatever the circumstances that's long enough to work things out. But then why should he leave his wife, you've proven willing to stick around anyway.
 
As for the punishment, it's time to suck it up, accept it and stop whining about it. If you think it's too tough stop discussing it with strangers and sit down and talk to HIM.
 
phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to angelsub2LuvU)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: punishment--??? - 11/16/2008 3:44:56 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelsub2LuvU

maybe I am living in a fantasy world--  but I do not think so. There are more people involved than just the tow of us. I appreicate the input and will think about it.  It really isn't that simple though.
If living in the here and now he would leave. but we have to thik about the future and every possaible thing.


Sorry but, uhhh no. Five years together and he hasn't left his wife? Wake up, he isn't going to. Whatever the circumstances that's long enough to work things out. But then why should he leave his wife, you've proven willing to stick around anyway.
 
As for the punishment, it's time to suck it up, accept it and stop whining about it. If you think it's too tough stop discussing it with strangers and sit down and talk to HIM.
 
phoenix


She stopped 'whining' about the punishment about a page ago and she expressed that.

Having known more than one or two people who have been in situations of this kind, I know how complex and difficult they can be.

To the OP.......I know you said you don't 'expect', but I'd go a little further and say work on trying not to 'hope' either, if only because it might make life easier in the present.

You've accepted that you didn't behave well and you accept your predicament, there's no need to beat you with the 'judging stick' for choosing it.

agirl












(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: punishment--??? - 11/16/2008 11:38:49 AM   
angelsub2LuvU


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you agirl.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: punishment--??? - 11/16/2008 4:54:02 PM   
wordstoponder


Posts: 56
Joined: 2/3/2008
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		This is a very interesting thread.

I am responding to LuckyAlbatross:
Because the original poster asked for advice from a bunch of Lifestylers in an online forum does not mean that she has communication issues.  When I am confronted with stress regarding my relationship, I find it difficult to approach Master.  It is healthy to talk about problems - why so many people go to therapy.  Others go to forums, more geared to their Lifestyle choice.

I wish all the best to you.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: punishment--??? - 11/16/2008 5:20:20 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		That is an excuse, and this is coming from someone that was in a similar situation. The well being of UM's, affording all the extra expenses that come with a divorce with UM's and everything else. I convinced myself for the longest time, that it really wasn't that simple, and there were all these other reasons I had to stay. In the end, it was me making me stay and while it was not simple, the world did not stop because I left.

Easy to come up with excuses, but what is more important is coming up with a solution and in these cases the biggest hurdle is ourselves.


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelsub2LuvU

nope, still not that simple. There are other factors involved. Financial, health, and the well being of others.


_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to angelsub2LuvU)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: punishment--??? - 11/17/2008 6:30:51 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		~general reply to the original poster ~

I must say, this has been one very interesting thread.
Uh huh.

We start out with the unfairness of not being able to express your feelings....move on to the fact that it all started because you violated his trust and spied on him and his wife...move on again to the arguments of why you are with a married man, arguments which include reasons for and against it...only to immediatly move on to how upset  you are over the fact that he is still  with his wife....and then finally we move to the fact that you understand and do not want him  to leave his wife because of the other people involved.

What a  life you live.

I sure am glad that I am out of highschool.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to angelsub2LuvU)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: punishment--??? - 11/17/2008 12:07:39 PM   
angelsub2LuvU


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		Don't fall off the horse IrishMist. Being so high up there you might get a bad bump!

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: punishment--??? - 11/17/2008 7:19:47 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I was thinking about this again today. (your situation seems to take up a lot of my thoughts!) And, I have to say that I agree with the one (don't remember who) who suggested that you stop hoping, and only live to serve him, if that is your wont.
Now, my recommendation to you as a fellow slave is to find one who you may call your own. One you can go to family holidays with, and to your kid's school play with, with no one whispering and no hiding behind an alias.
But if your choice is to stay, realize that his choice is made every day, for whatever reasons.
I remember when I finally pushed my ex-husband into a divorce, and he was crushed because he would not then have a reason not to marry the new girl...
Sometimes the excuses given are only excuses, no matter how emphatically they are given.

I do wish you well.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to angelsub2LuvU)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: punishment--??? - 11/17/2008 7:30:39 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelsub2LuvU

Don't fall off the horse IrishMist. Being so high up there you might get a bad bump!

Those of us who are already on the ground don't have very far to fall sweetcakes.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to angelsub2LuvU)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: punishment--??? - 11/17/2008 7:47:54 PM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		It is good to know that you were able to get a different perspective on your situation here. 

Here is an interesting thought, I can see where you are going with your wish that he would leave his current wife and be with you instead.  And that it isn't "that simple" to just up and leave.  Hrm, yes it is.  Once that choice is made that you are out the door, you are out that door.  Perhaps there is a plan for a divorce, custody/visitation is ironed out, and alternate living arrangements are found.  It's not an insurmountable obstacle to get out of a dead relationship.  IF you want to, that is.  And that choice comes from within.  He may not have come to that point, or may never will.  Who knows what the future will bring.  However, if he were to leave wifey #1 in order to be with you, what makes you so sure that he won't do the same thing to you?  Drag out the pain of a dead relationship, only now you are the one being left in the cold?  Do you really want to make a priority of someone that has made you an option?  If so, have at it, have fun, don't get pissed that wifey's still in the picture 5 years later.  Just sayin', is all...

_____________________________

Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 79
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