RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (Full Version)

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colouredin -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 4:44:52 AM)

Oh i agree there will always be the differancein life experianc,e mind you i dont think that its purely down to someones age, i know people at my age who have had more life experiance than someone 20 years older



JustDarkness -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 4:45:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Oh i agree there will always be the differancein life experianc,e mind you i dont think that its purely down to someones age, i know people at my age who have had more life experiance than someone 20 years older


agree fully



windchymes -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 4:57:34 AM)

If you'd browse the 'vanilla' personal ad sites, you'd see that the majority of men 40 and above search for women 10, 15 & 20 years younger than they are. 



ThundersCry -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 5:22:07 AM)

Well....I`m old
 
And it sucks at times... however...
 
I have a friend or two who raises sheep...
 
baaaaaaaaaad



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 5:35:36 AM)

Honestly, I don't look at age so much. I've had companions, keepers, and colleagues ranging from mid 20's up to the 60s, sharing family and living as part of our household. The one thing I -have- noticed is that the younger -servants- that we've had, of both genders, tend to have a much more 'fantasized' version of what is involved in doing WIITWD than the older servants we've worked with. I find it to be a red flag for me when I encounter an older prospective servant with a lot of claimed experience (or dominant-type person in the same situation) who is still expecting a scene from the Beauty series 24/7. I suppose there might be some places somewhere where that would be the day-to-day existence, but in over a decade of active participation, and a quarter-century of being an 'insider' in the BDSM community, I still haven't encountered a household that is run that way, so the expectation seems to raise flags for me.

Since my situation is non-sexual and doesn't confer a romantic relationship at the outset, I think it makes it feasible for me to enjoy sharing WIITWD with a wide variety of individuals of different age-ranges, which is, IMO, a bonus.



SilverMark -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 5:44:33 AM)

Being an Old Guy....I find women of all ages to be facinating!....
I guess that just makes me a dirty old man.....and proud of it!



honeygirl -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 5:51:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Eliana

I've noticed one feature of the BDSM world is older Dominants often seeking submissives or slaves who are considerably younger than them (for relationships, not just play).  I've also noticed - with all respect - a lot of them seem to have been looking a very long time without apparent success.   This leads me to ponder - how realistic are they being? 
<snip>



This is very much the case outside of BDSM, as well [;)] I've known quite a few men who have much younger wives, girlfriends & subs so it was a pretty attainable goal for them.




gauguin -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 5:58:12 AM)

I am into older dominants, 10-20 years older. Age boundaries are flexible, of course, and based on particular person(s) character.

I am 31 and I am still a bit immature, and younger people are even more, mostly.

As someone already noticed, females are still just girls, in their 20' behave like teens to some extend. Guys are even worse.

Of course there are exceptions, you can find very immature folks in 40' or 60', but still odds are lower then finding mature young dominants [8D]



IvyMorgan -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 7:13:18 AM)

I'm 23 (for another week at least) and I seem to find myself dating/seeing/etc people in their late 30s/early 40s.  The age gap is about 15 years.  But then, we weren't *looking*, we just kinda found.



MidMichCowboy -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 7:21:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverMark

Being an Old Guy....I find women of all ages to be facinating!....
I guess that just makes me a dirty old man.....and proud of it!


AMEN



innocentgirl15 -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 7:29:14 AM)

Ah, I know you're looking for the older male's point of view, but I thought I might chip in anyway.
I'm only 18, I'll be 19 in a few months, and I've always looked for much older dominants. The youngest I've ever seriously considered is mid thirties, usually prefering Dom's in their eairly to mid fourties. I look for both play, and something more perminant, with older Dom's.
Although you said many younger men can be less chauvinistic, many are also a little deluded, unfortunatly, when it comes to the idea of submissives or slaves (or so I've found with the various Dom's I've spoken to over the last year and a half) and seem to have much less respect, in many ways, than experienced, caring, serious older Dom's.

There's also the fact that older men tend to (again I'm generalising, sorry) know what they're doing for the most part, and what they want. I wouldnt let a younger man anywhere near me with a cane, but a man in his fourties to fifties who knew what he was doing? Sure!

Plus, on the slightly vanilla side of play, I've found when it comes to sex with men - the older, the better they know how to please, if you know what I mean. Older men certainly are better at encorperating sex, and women's pleasure, into play, I've found.

So, it may be unusual, but, I'm certainly a subbie who'll always go for older men :)



LydiaSciKitten -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 8:55:19 AM)

Actually I am 19, and have always found myself more at ease with people much older than me, mainly because I have had quite some experience of life so far, and people my age just seem to be a little too childish for me. One of the last people I was seeing before my current Master was 35 and I was 16. Nevertheless, the difference was not dramatic. We could easily talk about literature, jazz or Dario Argento without feeling out of tune.

On the other hand, I don't discriminate downwards either. My current relationship is 26 or so, and I am still exceedingly happy with them. In fact, pretty damn smitten. Nonetheless, I appreciate people who have had a few hardships, and have not been living in a bubble of happy pleasantness, because they understand society and human relationships so much better.



antipode -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 8:58:54 AM)

quote:

older men tend to (again I'm generalising, sorry) know what they're doing


For me at least, it is true my experience has changed to where I can take endless hours getting to know a sub's pushbuttons, and gaining a tremendous level of control by the amount of attention, physically and otherwise, I give to a sub. If one is not in a rush to procreate, an entirely new dimension to sex can grow. I found out as well that if you are over 50, doctors will prescribe you endless Viagra when you come up with a plausible story, and you won't get any pushback from the health insurance. Add the low insurance rate I am charged on really fast cars, and I have little reason to pine for years gone by [8D].



sblady -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 9:27:12 AM)

Most of the men I've had relationships with (vanilla and D/s) are at least 8-20 years older than I am. 

"Life experience" is what I use as a precursor.   I try to be fair when approached by younger Dominants, however, it's easy to identify compatibility during the correspondence stage. As I left home at a fairly young age and endured quite a bit, it was difficult to meet someone my age who understood me. 

Initially, I was rather "dismissive" of younger Doms but I've worked on that as I don't want to miss out on what could be a mutually satisfying relationship. [;)]




charly303 -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 9:31:36 AM)

I prefer to be with people more my age. If its just being submissive, and not forming a serious relationship then I don't mind if my Domme is a little bit older, although mid thirties is about my limit (I'm 24). However, if its somone that I actually want to have a proper serious relationship with, then I would prefer them to be more my age so that we can enjoy all the other activities together such as going out, going on holiday, meeting up with my other mates etc. I was seeing a girl who was 36, but it was just really odd and I felt quite uncomfortable with it, and really noticed the ages gap when I was around my other mates.



antipode -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 9:37:54 AM)

There is another consideration that isn't really an answer to your question, but related. I find that I learn more from younger people, in general, than I do from my peer group. This doesn't just go for partners, but past interns, for instance, and even younger members of staff.

I came back from a sabbatical at MIT, where we sponsor labs, one time, and expressed to a colleague my wonderment with the wonderful innovative stuff that the new generation of students come up with. "Well", he said, "that is simply because nobody has yet told them they can't do that". I generally find that the next generations, come up with solutions and "new ways" using the stuff we created that we never would have thought of - logical consequence of that generation growing up with tools that did not exist before.

Take texting, for instance - SMS, as it is officially known. The technology was invented in the late 1960s, with the then new European digital wireless protocol, and its sole purpose was to enable phone companies to send bills and service alerts to subscribers. It was a young kid in a lab somewhere who figured out that you could control this from the phone's keypad, and that you could message others in that fashion. We know-it-alls went "nah" and "nobody will ever use that, there's no keyboard, screen is too small, not enough characters". The rest you know.

So that is why I am completely addicted to young minds. The bodies work for me, too, though [8D]



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 9:54:56 AM)

I've always liked older men.  I get a lot of Cmail from men in their 20's and it doesn't interest me in the least.  Of course, the older I get, the narrow the margin between my age and 'the older guys' since I do rather like them to be umm.....breathing.



AMaster -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 9:55:39 AM)

I'm sad to say most subs are not. I've found since I reached fifty, many subs have told me I am too old for them.  I don't take age in to account and am comfortable with a sub who is either younger or older, but I have to understand and respect someones age group preference.  I think of a subs wish for a DOM younger than I am as a hard limit.  While most limits are to be tested and expanded, age is one that can not be changed. 



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 9:57:27 AM)

I am 60 will become 61 this summer, a part of a married Dom couple, My wife Diane is 19 years younger then me, so far for the past 12 years thing have been great..people that contact me are usually women from 18 to the upper 50's and with her she sees alot of mail from the older male slaves....I can see why a woman with dreams of marriage, children want a much young man in their lives, who wants to be left behind to raise the family on their own,My children are grown and gone,I have no desire more ..I have three women besides my wife in my life ,one collared and two seeking one, the oldest is 33, for some reason this ol' cowboy Dom finds his mail box full..after all most seek experience, settled Dom's with the ability to teach along with being able to care for them, just my three cents,,,bounty



Jeptha -> RE: Do younger subs/slaves really want much older Dominants? (11/9/2008 10:39:01 AM)

I've always been attracted to women in their mid to late 30's.
When I was 14, I wished one would come take me by the hand and initiate me into the mysteries of sex.
Now that I'm in my mid 40's, (or upper-mid-40's, shall we say) I'm still attracted to them.
In general, that age seems to be a good balancing place for the counterweights of youthfulness and experience.



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