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RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 2:48:22 PM   
Barelily


Posts: 96
Joined: 10/8/2008
Status: offline 		I also would never meet anyone I hadn't at least seen a picture of, and would certainly never meet someone for the first time in private.
I'm a little suspicious by nature, if theres no photo in their profile, even one minus a face for privacy reasons, I have to wonder why.

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(in reply to subintrainingnc)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 2:57:26 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I have, but then you have to decide on the intent.  But I would not rely on a mere photographic image.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to subintrainingnc)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 2:58:34 PM   
Gleegal67


Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline 		****Disclaimer - I highly suggest that another does not do what I did!****

I have gone over six weeks before I even saw the Dominant who was doing absolutely delicious and wicked things to me on a weekly basis!  I personally do not care how another looks, as long as their hygiene is proper and know how to present themselves to the world.  A person does not have to be a beauty queen or handsome king for me to be interested in them, it is their individual self that I connect with...not the wrappings!  Granted, I wouldn't kick George Clooney out of bed for eating crackers...wait...yes I would...just so I could watch him get right back into bed! hehehe

Anyways, the Dominant had pictures of me and I had none of Him.  Our conversations on the phone and via email connected beyond what a picture could give me.  Every time we had met, after speaking for about a month, I was to be blindfolded and waiting in whatever position He had desired me to be in.  He would always call me about 5 minutes prior to arriving, just to make sure that there were no kidlings or changes in the plans before I was putting myself in a compromising type position, for example; naked waiting on my knees blindfolded.

By not seeing Him for that long of a period, it truly brought out my other senses to a whole different level.  I could tell by His breathing if He was delighted or perturbed.  I was able to feel the energy of the room with us a lot stronger too.  My sense of smell was in overload...gotta love pheromones!  But, honestly, the best thing was the incredible trust I had with Him from the absolute beginning.  He acknowledged it all the time and respected it always.  I trusted my instincts and they did not fail me.  Plus, what an incredible time we had together!  He was amazed that I wasn't begging to see Him...I explained that I was having too much fun utilizing my other senses and I was going to enjoy it for as long as He desired.  It was a very special moment when He finally removed the blindfold and it was like being with someone new all over again!  I will admit to having closed my eyes from time to time when I performed a certain service, such as massaging His feet, just so I can feel my way through.  He is not my typical "type" of man that I am normally instantly physically attracted to, but to me, He was the most handsome and that was more important!  He still laughs that He thought it was the blindfold that made me clumsy...He now realizes it wasn't the blindfold at all!  He gets great entertainment watching my not-so-graceful movements...He threatens to put the blindfold back on so I don't hurt myself!

Please understand, I am and always have been a gal that has trusted her instincts and I have never had a "bad thing" happen to me when I follow them.  This is why I have done things that another should never do.  I wasn't completely a fool when I first met this Dominant...I did make sure my friend had this Dominants email address, phone number and that I contacted her immediately when He had left.  She knew it was only going to be for a certain amount of time, so she knew when to expect my call.  She was my "safe call" after every meeting...mainly because she was just as curious as I was as to how long it was going to be before He removed the blindfold! 

I may be crazy...in a good way...but I ain't stupid!

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~always the gleeful one~

(in reply to subintrainingnc)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 3:24:37 PM   
flower2007


Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subintrainingnc

How long would you go without knowing what someone looks like? has anyone ever met someone sight unseen? or the guy really thinks it is exciting the thought to meet without knowing what he looks like..


I've met people (from match.com) without knowing what they look like.  Key is short first meet, so that if either one of you is disappointed, you're not stuck somewhere for hours.

However, I've only done that when it just happened to work out that way, being on a work laptop with no picture or whatever.  If a guy insists it's cooler to meet without seeing a picture or insists he doesn't have one at all, that's a read flag for me.  It's 2008, it's not like cameras are hard to get access to.

(in reply to subintrainingnc)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 3:25:10 PM   
StrtbkNamdDesire


Posts: 53
Joined: 11/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gleegal67

****Disclaimer - I highly suggest that another does not do what I did!****

While i respect your disclaimer and the fact that a potentially dangerous scenario worked out for you, i would just like to offer the following...
1.) if you are blindfolded and waiting, it really doesn't matter who has this Dom's phone number and and address; you are still at His/Her (not necessarily erotic) mercy.
2.) our vision helps us discover and sort out important things that might harm us, regardless of our other senses. Like STD's.
3.) Instincts are often based on unsaid assumptions and reactions based on past experiences. Someone with a history of successful manipulations can bend these 'instincts' and use them against those unwilling to back up instinct with more concrete evidence.

< Message edited by StrtbkNamdDesire -- 11/10/2008 3:26:28 PM >

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-stella

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 3:35:12 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
Out of the few I’ve met, all but one was without seeing a pic first. The one I did see a pic of first turned out to be the least desirable.
 
I don’t believe looks are the defining characteristics of “crazy”; nor do I believe, someone whose intent is to do me harm won’t be waiting until they have me alone to show their true intent.
 
Kim

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Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to subintrainingnc)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 3:36:47 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		When we were looking individually we didn't have personal pics as avatars, but did exchange one apiece the first time we chatted online, a five and a half hour long chat it was too, if memory serves me well. There were already a couple of pics on my profile on the web site we met on, and i got one of Andy in short order.

i would never meet anyone who was not prepared to somehow get a pic of themselves to me beforehand, something of a red flag moment if there were reticence at pic swapping.

As i was always upfront with regard to my own identity i did expect the same from others either from the outset or very shortly after that, otherwise i would cut off contact.


(in reply to subintrainingnc)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 3:45:07 PM   
Gleegal67


Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline 		Stella,

In response...

1.) if you are blindfolded and waiting, it really doesn't matter who has this Dom's phone number and and address; you are still at His/Her (not necessarily erotic) mercy. The first meet was conversation only and a kiss on my forehead at the end.  I had no restraints to restrict my movement, nor did He enter my "bubble space" to make me nervous at anytime. After the 3rd meeting, we started to have fun...but with boundaries agreed upon both of us.
 
2.) our vision helps us discover and sort out important things that might harm us, regardless of our other senses. Like STD's.
I wonder what my friend who is blind and is involved in BDSM and dates other Dominants would have to say to this.  In regards to STD's, we had already exchanged paperwork of our STD tests.  I find more distrust with a person who would not do STD testing, than showing me his photo.
 
3.) Instincts are often based on unsaid assumptions and reactions based on past experiences. Someone with a history of successful manipulations can bend these 'instincts' and use them against those unwilling to back up instinct with more concrete evidence. I completely agree with you, that is why I said to not do what I had done.  I trust my instincts based on my history of that they have never once been wrong...when I listened to them.  My history has more than the average amount of manipulative people that are family...so my instincts have had quite the workout to stay sharp.
 
I know that you are wanting to be helpful, just as I am, by showing that there are boundaries needed for all interactions.  It is just each of our choices to make what those boundaries are going to be.  I should have been more specific in the boundaries that were agreed upon before meeting, for that, I apologize.
 
***edited cuz I can't spell worth a bean today***

< Message edited by Gleegal67 -- 11/10/2008 3:46:59 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 4:17:04 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gleegal67
....I completely agree with you, that is why I said to not do what I had done. I trust my instincts based on my history of that they have never once been wrong...when I listened to them. My history has more than the average amount of manipulative people that are family...so my instincts have had quite the workout to stay sharp...
I get that. I really liked your story, too. That is pretty exceptionally daring.

I've taken calculated risks before (crossing a river, climbing a cliff, driving a crappy car way out into the desert). I have faith in my own decision making process - if anything, I'm generally way too conservative and safety conscious, but every once in a blue moon I will decide to pull the trigger on something because I feel that it is a good calculated risk.
My judgement has always been very good on these things, but that doesn't mean that there's isn't some chance that things could go wrong in the future.

As far as the original question goes, with one ex we exchanged a lot of e-mail before we met, but no pictures. She had no picture-to-e-mail technology (or, at least no pictures that she was fond of). I asked her if she wanted one from me and she said "no", that she'd prefer it be a mystery until we met for coffee.

We had a nice relationship that lasted for around a year, and we are still friends.

(in reply to Gleegal67)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 4:18:45 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I don't go beyond idle banter without a picture and preferably several and would not consider meeting anyone without trading a photo or two beforehand.

(in reply to subintrainingnc)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 4:22:32 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I have gone years without seeing a picture of someone I have spoken to online. I am not saying I wasn't disappointed once I did face them because it hindered my decision of whether to continue.  It is manditory now that I see a picture or two to get a clear idea of who will show up.  I should have known better than to bypass the most basic of my needs which is for someone to have decent looks in order to keep my vision of attractiveness even with the emotional and psychological. 

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(in reply to Gleegal67)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 4:24:09 PM   
missbehaeven


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline 		~general reply~
I'm with flower.
I'm ok with meeting someone pic/webcam unseen if it's for a short 1st time meeting in case the chemistry doesn't work, and also if it's a short distance for both of us.
I understand that no pics posted or offered could mean the person is married/involved in another relationship, but that's usually only one of several clues.
If they're hiding something about their appearance then chances are they may never make the move to meet in person for the same reason they won't offer pics.

Wishing everyone well, miss




(in reply to StrtbkNamdDesire)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 4:27:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It must be my age. I remember being set up on a blind date with the son of a coworker of my grandmother. He was a very nice guy, very good looking but no chemistry between us. A picture can't predict chemistry, it can't tell you if you'll like the way he smells. Or if he has a goofy laugh.

Half the time pictures aren't even good representations of people. Depending on background, clothing, posture etc.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 4:35:39 PM   
StrtbkNamdDesire


Posts: 53
Joined: 11/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gleegal67

Stella,

In response...

1.) if you are blindfolded and waiting, it really doesn't matter who has this Dom's phone number and and address; you are still at His/Her (not necessarily erotic) mercy. The first meet was conversation only and a kiss on my forehead at the end.  I had no restraints to restrict my movement, nor did He enter my "bubble space" to make me nervous at anytime. After the 3rd meeting, we started to have fun...but with boundaries agreed upon both of us.
 
2.) our vision helps us discover and sort out important things that might harm us, regardless of our other senses. Like STD's.
I wonder what my friend who is blind and is involved in BDSM and dates other Dominants would have to say to this.  In regards to STD's, we had already exchanged paperwork of our STD tests.  I find more distrust with a person who would not do STD testing, than showing me his photo.
 
3.) Instincts are often based on unsaid assumptions and reactions based on past experiences. Someone with a history of successful manipulations can bend these 'instincts' and use them against those unwilling to back up instinct with more concrete evidence. I completely agree with you, that is why I said to not do what I had done.  I trust my instincts based on my history of that they have never once been wrong...when I listened to them.  My history has more than the average amount of manipulative people that are family...so my instincts have had quite the workout to stay sharp.
 
I know that you are wanting to be helpful, just as I am, by showing that there are boundaries needed for all interactions.  It is just each of our choices to make what those boundaries are going to be.  I should have been more specific in the boundaries that were agreed upon before meeting, for that, I apologize.
 
***edited cuz I can't spell worth a bean today***


ahhh... thank you for clarifying. this makes much more sense and sounds much more reasonable.


_____________________________

-stella

(in reply to Gleegal67)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 4:39:57 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		We meet, sight unseen, all the time. My Darling and I usually choose to meet quickly, and we don't require a photograph, so we often meet someone whom we've never seen before.

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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to subintrainingnc)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 4:44:35 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I wouldn't go to long without seeing what someone looks like. I have in the past and it hasn't worked out well. I have had an attraction which as soon as i have seen a pic has just shrivelled and died. Saying that though i have seen pics and then met people and in person they look different and the attraction has died.
I would not consider meeting someone whom i didnt have an idea of what they looked  like.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 4:59:16 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I don't know really how to answer this, since I never used these boards to look for a prospective Dominant.

I have though met people on- line through the psychic chatrooms I would go to, and did not require seeing a  picture. Those meetings usually openned to good friendships that have continue over many years. Again though I wasnt looking for anyone, since I was married. IWhen I became a widow, I still wasn't looking for anyone, but met Sir in one of the AOL Life chatrooms i frequented.  We met and all I knew was he was 6'2 and his name. I chose to meet him because his personality was the type I might like to be friends with. Common interests and vanilla world brought us together. I liked his personality. Self-assured without the need to find assurance through putting any other's down.  So we met without seeing pictures of each other, though he did request my birth information, since he is an astrologer.

I find pictures don't really tell me much of a person, especially since they are posed.  I don't think anyone is crazy for meeting someone without a pic.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 7:08:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'll meet someone when I haven't seen their picture yet, but I won't go out on a date with them. 

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 7:28:19 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: piratecommander

In a very public place , right ?


baggage claim work for you? LOL

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: not knowing what he looks like - 11/10/2008 7:30:53 PM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		I met people from online without seeing pictures, I meet people for coffee or tea, it allows me to get a read on will this person be a friend, a lover, a potental partner, or just a long forgotten coffee date?  I do not show picture of my face on the net... period.... it's just my privacy needs. If not showing someone a picture of my face online makes them not want to risk 10 mins of their life to met for coffee so be it, their loss. Yes, many people have said in the past well if you won't share you picture you must be fat/ugly/a man/ all of the above, ect...... my answer is always...... ok if thats what you want to believe.
I will not have long term cyber chats for months before meeting people...... if I read something you have written, and your close by, or in a area I am visiting, I will simply say hey I liked X wanna grab some tea?
In person interactions are how I can judge the compatablity of another, not by flowery emails and pictures.
Yes, believe it or not even in todays day and age, some people have jobs or positions that they do not feel comfortable sharing a picture with strangers on the net.

Alexandra~   the fat/ugly/old man........ don't believe me? met me for tea.......lol

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 40
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