RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted

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SteelofUtah -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/13/2008 2:41:20 PM)
And if for the year you are paid LESS than Federal Minimum wage, You will get the difference back in your Taxes. You CANNOT actually earn less than Minimum wage legally, Utah takes Tips into account and if you plan on fighting it then you need to either work on a tip draw concept like most placed here in Utah or keep detailed logs of your tips to show that for the hours that you worked you made less than Minimum wage. However I have yet to meet a person who waits tables who makes less than $10.00 ON AVERAGE for the YEAR. Tipping is GRATUITY and if you aren't Gracious you shouldn't pay it, However I believe that one should give a tip of an appropriate amount or NO TIP AT ALL. I have given whatever I had left as a tip in situations where the meal was more expensive than expected and explained to the waitress WHY the tip is as small as it is. But That's just me. And Truth be told I tip differently with Guests than I do in person too because I try to be fair to everyones standard. I'm Stange I know Steel

scottjk -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/13/2008 3:13:32 PM)
Ummm, the topic?

NormalOutside -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/13/2008 3:15:57 PM)
Is there a topic to this thread at all? I read the OP three times and find nothing to discuss. Looking solely at the subject line, I guess there's a potential discussion there, but really.... does ANYONE actually think kinky people are inherantly more trustworthy? That hasn't been my experience. Most here are very cautious and rightfully so.

SteelofUtah -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/13/2008 3:19:00 PM)
No we went from a thought and as it rolled down hill it changed shape and became something completely different. Steel

mc1234 -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/13/2008 3:55:07 PM)
deleted ... off topic and just not worth it. lol

WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/13/2008 4:16:12 PM)
Dear CandyStripper, I have read a number of your posts on the message boards for awhile now. You appear to have fixiation for a specific kind of fear. In all honestly, I feel that you reading all those "True Crime" stories is just feeding into your own fears that you have a had time working past. Many people have posted very thoughtful responses to your threads in the past, many people giving you great advice. Still you continue to make posts regarding your own fears about meeting people, going to BDSM events and such. There are risks in just living day to day life. Every time you drive a car you are risk of being in an automobile accident. However, most people learn some safer driving skills and practices to minimize the risks. The risks are never gone completely because of the "other person" factor. However, if you play close attention to how other people are driving around you, you can spot questionable drivers and adjust you distance and make better choices. The same is when it comes to meeting people from online, meeting people at BDSM events and other places. The title of your thread is "It's a Myth that All folks into D/s can be trusted", I've never heard anybody every say that "All folks into D/s or BDSM can be trusted". It would make as much sense as saying "All folks can be trusted". In the reverse logic "It's a Myth that All folks into D/s can not be trusted". This is a false statement. That would be the same as saying "All folks can not be trusted". The truth of the matter is such, "Some folks into D/s can be trusted, and other ones can not be trusted". Trust often takes time to build between two people. At times it is tested and tried even. Trust will either grow or it will lesson depending upon interactions between two people. It's best to use a level of common sense and caution with the amount of intial trust you give to a stranger. One never completely should check their common sense in when passing through any door. It's best to enter, walk around and check what's inside the joint. Common sense is something that you should never check in at any point in time in any relationship, will get you into trouble ever time. It takes time to build and work at Deeper levels of true trust. It's something that becomes tried, tested and proved in the process. Skip this process and you indeed did leave you common sense at the door. I feel, that your reading diet of "True Crime" stories only increases your fears that holds you somewhat at hostage. Your own fears are the reason why you feel like you are shouting down a well at times. You hear perhaps only the echos of your own voice. Have you thought about pulling your head out from that Well of "True Crime" stories and looking around you. It's a little hard for you to hear what other people have been trying to say to you with your ears down the same Well of fear. Just some food for thought...

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/13/2008 5:59:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper The bill was about $10 -- he tipped $2. I was just aghast. $2 for 2 hours work? I am persnickity about tipping and, depending on the service, the person would have gotten about the same from me ($1.50 - 2.00, unless she was exceptionally good... including things like keeping our beverages (at least water if all other beverages are cost-per-glass) filled even after she delivered the check, which about 90% of wait staff don't do), and guess what... were I -waiting- that table, I would have considered a $2 tip on a $10 order pretty damned good, regardless of the amount of time the folks sat at the table. Restaurants charge by the meal, not by the hour, and for truly nice places, they make it a point not to rush people out, so we often spend 2-3 hours enjoying a meal at our favorite restaurants, and the tip is still 15-20% of the order, regardless of how long we're at the table, except for a couple of places where we have particular waiters we prefer who are truly outstanding (it is one of these waiters who actually earned a 50% tip from us one afternoon). As far as minimum pay for wait-staff, the wait staff here in Texas must earn minimum wage, calculated at the end of their work week. Minimum hourly pay is $2.15 per hour, and tips plus wages must generate at least minimum wage at the end of the week. Taxes are calculated on 8% of total tickets per day, or on minimum wage if sales plus tip calculations does not meet minimum wage.

hardbodysub -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/13/2008 8:33:16 PM)
I thought that "myth" implied something untrue that is widely believed. I don't know anyone who believes folks into D/s are more trustworthy than anyone else.

JustDarkness -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 1:00:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hardbodysub I thought that "myth" implied something untrue that is widely believed. I The old definition of myth is that it is a story that is not true (simply said) A legend has a line of truth in it. There is a new view on myths though..that depending on how you read them, they point..in an abstract way..to truth. for example... we have a myth about "white ladies"here. Witches hunting in the moors for kids. OF course they don't excist. But the goal of the story is...to warn kids about the danger of fog (looking like white ghosts) in the mores. So don't go in the moors when it is foggy, so you don't get lost. So the warning is based on truth....but it has been made in a story to make people remember it. (everything was transmitted form mouth to mouth..nothing was written down in the past. Stories help you to remember better)

thishereboi -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 6:50:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NormalOutside Is there a topic to this thread at all? I read the OP three times and find nothing to discuss. Looking solely at the subject line, I guess there's a potential discussion there, but really.... does ANYONE actually think kinky people are inherantly more trustworthy? That hasn't been my experience. Most here are very cautious and rightfully so. Every time I read this thread the topic changes, but it's CM, so what can you do. As to your question...."does ANYONE actually think kinky people are inherantly more trustworthy?" I would have to anser yes. There are people who think that...there are also people who think everyone online is telling the truth and every pic they see is actually a pic of who it is supposed to be. I know this because when they find out they are wrong, they come on the boards and whine about how they trusted this person and found out they were fake. I also saw a thread implying that Goreans were more polite than those on the other side of the boards....sounds just as silly as all the other generalizations that get tossed around here.

Maya2001 -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 6:54:21 AM)
okay blowing off some guy who would have left no tip I could have understood but he did tip and at common US standards to indicate he was happy with the service which is 15 to 20% of the bill guides to tipping in the US --> http://tip20.com/div/con/index.html and this was not a date but a first meet .... he was not required to pay your share of the meal ticket..if you felt the waitress should have gotten more the time why did you not chip in.????

thishereboi -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 6:55:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: ORIGINAL: scottjk I know I'm short on information, but... you skated on a guy based on how he tipped??? I would as well... especially if we were considering the person as a potential future keeper in our household. You can tell a lot about a person by the way xhe treats service persons -- those who short a waitress are just as likely to have little regard for the efforts put forth by our own servants.... Now that being said, someone who -overtips- for crappy service would get short shrift from us as well if xhe were on the list as a potential keeper, for just the opposite reason, since this is clearly a person who doesn't know how to properly value service and fail to give the (IMO necessary) message of 'mediocre or crappy just isn't good enough to merit special recognition'. While I agree with you Calla, many wait staff are new hires. Sometimes there's a fk up in the kitchen. So unless a waiter is outright rude to me, I 'overtip'. We had sat having coffee in a little diner in my neighborhood for like 2 hours. Long since done with lunch, the waitress brought us refills on our coffee for the balance of the time.. The bill was about $10 -- he tipped $2. I was just aghast. $2 for 2 hours work? You probably know that wait staff are exempted from the minimum wage law, and are only paid by resturants at a rate of about $1.50/hr. I frankly cannot stand cheapskates. It's a miserable, hoarding, distrustful personality trait. I don't invite the annoying into my life, any more than I do the deranged. Peace out. candystripper [sm=pole.gif] 2 hours work...how much coffee did you drink? Were you her only customers? 2 bucks on a 10 dollar lunch bill is not a bad tip. While you may have spent 2 hours sitting there, I doubt she spent more than 15 minutes total waiting on you...even with refills. How long does it take to fill a cup or bring over a plate of food?

candystripper -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 7:43:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah And if for the year you are paid LESS than Federal Minimum wage, You will get the difference back in your Taxes. You CANNOT actually earn less than Minimum wage legally, Utah takes Tips into account and if you plan on fighting it then you need to either work on a tip draw concept like most placed here in Utah or keep detailed logs of your tips to show that for the hours that you worked you made less than Minimum wage. However I have yet to meet a person who waits tables who makes less than $10.00 ON AVERAGE for the YEAR. Tipping is GRATUITY and if you aren't Gracious you shouldn't pay it, However I believe that one should give a tip of an appropriate amount or NO TIP AT ALL. I have given whatever I had left as a tip in situations where the meal was more expensive than expected and explained to the waitress WHY the tip is as small as it is. But That's just me. And Truth be told I tip differently with Guests than I do in person too because I try to be fair to everyones standard. I'm Stange I know Steel Onna my favorite strange rangers, then, Steel I guess I identify with the wait staff. Not much I could do to earn a living as a college student or even once I had my degree -- in freaking Sociology. (Man, did I need vocational guidance, LOL.) You are right: wait staff are supposed to report tip income to the IRS, even if their employer does not track it. I wish resturants would lose that exemption from the minimum wage law and that the wait staff was not dependent on tip income to live. Till they are, I won't stiff someone, especially not someone whose table I have tied up for 2 hours. And ya, I despise folks who shit on 'the litlle people' just like I do cheapskates. One reason the 'cup of coffe at the diner' is such a good litmus test. How's your famiily, sweet Man? Hope all of you are well. Hugs candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

candystripper -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 7:49:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NormalOutside Is there a topic to this thread at all? I read the OP three times and find nothing to discuss. Looking solely at the subject line, I guess there's a potential discussion there, but really.... does ANYONE actually think kinky people are inherantly more trustworthy? That hasn't been my experience. Most here are very cautious and rightfully so. Ya, some do NormalOutside. Two types predominate. Folks who've just found out about D/s -- seems to afflict everyone for awhile. Doms who believe their 'Domliness' is an invisble shield of protection. You'd be astounded at what folks have self-reported here, or put into their profiles, or told me by CM 'back-channel'. Thank goodness you're not one of these folks -- nothing puts you at risk more'n a magcal belief that you don't need* to pay attention.* candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

candystripper -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 8:02:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2 Dear CandyStripper, I have read a number of your posts on the message boards for awhile now. You appear to have fixiation for a specific kind of fear. In all honestly, I feel that you reading all those "True Crime" stories is just feeding into your own fears that you have a had time working past. Many people have posted very thoughtful responses to your threads in the past, many people giving you great advice. Still you continue to make posts regarding your own fears about meeting people, going to BDSM events and such. There are risks in just living day to day life. Every time you drive a car you are risk of being in an automobile accident. However, most people learn some safer driving skills and practices to minimize the risks. The risks are never gone completely because of the "other person" factor. However, if you play close attention to how other people are driving around you, you can spot questionable drivers and adjust you distance and make better choices. The same is when it comes to meeting people from online, meeting people at BDSM events and other places. The title of your thread is "It's a Myth that All folks into D/s can be trusted", I've never heard anybody every say that "All folks into D/s or BDSM can be trusted". It would make as much sense as saying "All folks can be trusted". In the reverse logic "It's a Myth that All folks into D/s can not be trusted". This is a false statement. That would be the same as saying "All folks can not be trusted". The truth of the matter is such, "Some folks into D/s can be trusted, and other ones can not be trusted". Trust often takes time to build between two people. At times it is tested and tried even. Trust will either grow or it will lesson depending upon interactions between two people. It's best to use a level of common sense and caution with the amount of intial trust you give to a stranger. One never completely should check their common sense in when passing through any door. It's best to enter, walk around and check what's inside the joint. Common sense is something that you should never check in at any point in time in any relationship, will get you into trouble ever time. It takes time to build and work at Deeper levels of true trust. It's something that becomes tried, tested and proved in the process. Skip this process and you indeed did leave you common sense at the door. I feel, that your reading diet of "True Crime" stories only increases your fears that holds you somewhat at hostage. Your own fears are the reason why you feel like you are shouting down a well at times. You hear perhaps only the echos of your own voice. Have you thought about pulling your head out from that Well of "True Crime" stories and looking around you. It's a little hard for you to hear what other people have been trying to say to you with your ears down the same Well of fear. Just some food for thought... Actually, Whiplash, I recently joined another site and was delighted to discover there are events in Cleveland, too. There's a fetish sreet fair this weekend, and a Mardis Gras in Februrary. I'm hoping to drag oe of the CM members who live here along with me so's I can go. I am much more comfy in a public venue that I can leave if'n I don't feel comfy than I would be going to a stranger's house to get nakkie. That is just not my thing. I do like True Crime -- I like horror and 'sexy mysteries' as well. I guess I've been 'twisted' all my life. Didn't know there were other folks like me until I stumbled onto castelrealm.com one day. I remember when I first joined CM. I thought cool! -- here's where all the great guys are! I mean Doms are trustworthy and have integrity, right? That lasted about a day, LOL. I'll always be grateful to the Dom who was my mentor. Not just for teaching me about D/s but also for teaching me about safety. Lemme know if'n you'd be interested in attending Cleveland's Mardi Gras. Supposed to be a real blast I have friends who are a married couple planning to come from Wisconsin, and I'd be happy to look into hotel rooms for you. Peace out. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

candystripper -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 8:05:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper The bill was about $10 -- he tipped $2. I was just aghast. $2 for 2 hours work? I am persnickity about tipping and, depending on the service, the person would have gotten about the same from me ($1.50 - 2.00, unless she was exceptionally good... including things like keeping our beverages (at least water if all other beverages are cost-per-glass) filled even after she delivered the check, which about 90% of wait staff don't do), and guess what... were I -waiting- that table, I would have considered a $2 tip on a $10 order pretty damned good, regardless of the amount of time the folks sat at the table. Restaurants charge by the meal, not by the hour, and for truly nice places, they make it a point not to rush people out, so we often spend 2-3 hours enjoying a meal at our favorite restaurants, and the tip is still 15-20% of the order, regardless of how long we're at the table, except for a couple of places where we have particular waiters we prefer who are truly outstanding (it is one of these waiters who actually earned a 50% tip from us one afternoon). As far as minimum pay for wait-staff, the wait staff here in Texas must earn minimum wage, calculated at the end of their work week. Minimum hourly pay is $2.15 per hour, and tips plus wages must generate at least minimum wage at the end of the week. Taxes are calculated on 8% of total tickets per day, or on minimum wage if sales plus tip calculations does not meet minimum wage. Calla, let's start an Op in Off-Topics about tipping. I think you and have much to teach one another. I imagine other folks do as well, especially non-U.S. folks. See you there. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

GregoryMK -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 2:29:25 PM)
quote: If you read Ann Rule and other crime novels AND the news, you must also be well aware that husbands kill wives and vice versa, 'friends' kill other 'friends', neighbors kill neighbors, students kill classmates, employees kill co-workers---the fact is one is just as likely to be threatened, hurt or killed by someone they already know. Actually if you check the statistics, you are much more likely to be assulted or killed by someone you know intimately than by a stranger. Same hting with child abductins/molestation, stranger perps make up the tiniest fraction of child abductions and molestations, it's the people who know the kids that are the biggest risk non-custodial parents, relatives , friends, and others in positions of trust. The problem is that our culture of fear teaches us to fear the wrong things. People who drive a poorlay maintaned vehicle eeryday won;t take an airplane out of fear. But thier car is the real deathtrap.

persephonee -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 2:46:54 PM)
lol...i had nooo idea...thats hysterical....can you get pregnant from sporking?

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 2:51:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee lol...i had nooo idea...thats hysterical....can you get pregnant from sporking? Maybe I got it wrong.... Maybe Squorks are the spindly legged creatures that deliver the unholy offspring of two squicks sporking?

ModeratorEleven -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/14/2008 3:02:54 PM)
Folks, knock off the derailing. XI

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