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slvepetdobby -> RE: The Myth That All Folks Into D/s Can Be Trusted (11/16/2008 12:42:00 PM)
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I do hear of subs that will "blind" meet somebody. The thing is, those I hear of are "Beginners" in the lifestyle. When just beginning out thier some of them will throw caution to the wind, if it means they FINALLY get to put to reality thier fantasy of BDSM play.
After over 25 years in the lifestyle, thier are certain rules I follow. These might help beginners :
1) If online contact..do NOT give out private info ( Phone number, address) until you have spoken/corresponded with that person at LEAST 3 times. And then do so ONLY if thier is a good chance of a comapatibilty.
2) NEVER agree to meet somebody initially in thier private home!
A good Dominant/sub will agree, and even want to setup in a public place where BOTH of you will feel safe. And this rule also goes for Dominants....You hear all the times of Doms preying on subbies. Thing is there are subbies out there that will get caught up in a dom/Domme, and then stalk them also.
3) Any experienced Dom/Domme or sub/slave will WANT you to check up on them prior
(ie: Do you know anything about a so-and-so?) I personally have a group of friends - both Doms/old Mistress and close subbies that will basically do the "first date with daughter...dad on the porch" type of thing LOL. You know...then "So you want to spend time with my_ _ )"
4)Always setup a "Safe Call" group.....and use it.
This is as important for Doms as it is for subs/slaves. BOTH parties need to have knowledge that thier are people "knowing" you are meeting the other, and will call to make certain things are OK at a predetermined time. Subs and Doms...also please be respectful during these calls...go to take a restroom break, or to the side, etc.
5) Listen to your gut, if you start feeling "Warning Flags" going off!!
I hear many times somebody say....I had bad feelings about this person but decided it was just butterflies..or- something seemed off, but thought i was just misinterpretting. When you get a feeling in your gut that tells you anything but that things are going great....back out!
lastly.....
6) Get to know your local groups, esp those that hold Munches, and Meet-and-Greets on a monthly basis.
These give you a safe place to meet others, many times in a climate outside of a Dungeon prior. It also gives you the back up of other Doms/Dommes and subs near....to aid and protect, if required. Trust me...at a Dungeon others have no problem "blacklisting" another Dominant or sub that is a bad apple.
and most important, esp for beginners, a local group....or even a group of likeminded folk ( like Collarme, etc) gives you the social support that those of us that started out 25 years ago never had LOL.
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