Asking too much to clean up the language?

Asking too much to clean up the language? (Full Version)

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MsFlutter -> Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 5:59:43 PM)
I'd like a general reaction to an email conversation I had with a sub male. Despite his above-average command of the English language, his emails were peppered with unnecessarily salty language - his favorite being '8sshole'. I diplomatically suggested that emails were always easier to read when they contained something other than 4 letter words. His response follows below: ....Unfortunately You will see those words in the mails i send You. Hell, they're coming from me, and what a big one i am lol - a, stubborn as one as well. Heck, modesty is not for Dominant Woman like Yourself .... Have basic courtesies died an ugly death ? Ladies, what think you? Guys - your insight is valuable also but I'm not asking you to rat on your own gender ;)

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:01:57 PM)
seems so, Ma'am. some people have yet to learn courtesy and tact.

lovingpet -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:02:56 PM)
I will occassionally use an expletive, but I think brings more force to bear on it when I do. There is no need of profanity in basic, everyday communication in my opinion. I don't care your position in the relationship or your gender. A quote something to the effect of, "Wars begin when there are no more words to express our outrage." Just my opinion...... lovingpet <<edited for a typo and elaboration

LadyConstanze -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:04:19 PM)
I might use an explicit word from time to time, oddly enough I would never do so in my native tongue but in another language it doesn't really seem to count, but I hope I can express myself with words that have more than 4 letters. I would not use it in front of kids or in "polite" conversation, more something if I joke around with mates

shymetalsub -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:08:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Heck, modesty is not for Dominant Woman like Yourself .... This was my only major problem with what he said. I think that was a little ridiculous in a few ways. But as for the general idea? Some people, myself included, are foul mouthed. There are many people who swear a lot who are also articulate and have a lot to say, just look at George Carlin (R.I.P.). When someone truly curses a lot, it's a part of their character. It's a habit that's hard to change. And while I'm not trying to sound (too) condescending, I really do find the idea that cursing is harmful and disrespectful to be dated and a little silly. Cursing is just something that people do, and to not hide or censor what you're thinking in it's raw entirety is honest speech in my opinion. So on the whole concept of cursing, I don't really take your side, unless this was excessive to the point of being repetitious and awkward.

Politesub53 -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:12:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsFlutter Ladies, what think you? Guys - your insight is valuable also but I'm not asking you to rat on your own gender ;) If he fails to be polite when trying to make an impression, he won`t improve if things progress. His lack of taking note of your request, says more about him than his above average command of English ever can, Ma`am. Look at it this way, your first "task" and he was unable to comply.

lovingpet -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:15:31 PM)
I didn't appreciate it in Carlin or other comics either. When I have something to say, I can say it and rarely ever resort to such words. It takes effort and disipline sometimes to do so, but I don't even remotely consider it dishonest. I have taken great care and pains to express something in a much fuller context than the off the cuff expletive can ever do, so that is not to be taken as some minor thing. There are a lot of folks who know when I would have cussed if I spoke the way they do and really do appreciate me transcending that. It is a matter of better communication, not that one is any more honest than another. Habits and a part of an overall personality are no excuse. lovingpet

LadyConstanze -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:23:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet I didn't appreciate it in Carlin or other comics either. When I have something to say, I can say it and rarely ever resort to such words. It takes effort and disipline sometimes to do so, but I don't even remotely consider it dishonest. I have taken great care and pains to express something in a much fuller context than the off the cuff expletive can ever do, so that is not to be taken as some minor thing. There are a lot of folks who know when I would have cussed if I spoke the way they do and really do appreciate me transcending that. It is a matter of better communication, not that one is any more honest than another. Habits and a part of an overall personality are no excuse. lovingpet Sometimes a loud F..... is actually the perfect expression. I used that repeatedly when my wallet with passport and all cards was stolen

OneMoreWaste -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:24:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 His lack of taking note of your request, says more about him than his above average command of English ever can, Ma`am. Look at it this way, your first "task" and he was unable to comply. Actually, I think it was worse than that- he noted her request, and decided that he wasn't even willing to try to comply with it. I'm a pretty profanity-prone person, so I can relate, but it's only an issue in real-time communications. Over email or any sort of time-delayed conversation, I think it's a perfectly reasonable request.

shymetalsub -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:26:37 PM)
[/quote] His lack of taking note of your request, says more about him than his above average command of English ever can, Ma`am. [/quote] Please do not mistake me for trolling or flaming but hardly ever in my life have I disagreed with anything more than I disagree with this. Submissive men are not machines. They're not perfect in their ability to obey, nor are they perfect in any other regard, because they're people. When I briefly experimented with D/s with my ex before we broke up, I found myself utterly disobedient and unable to comply with two or three requests. One example was her order to buy non-black clothes. There's just this odd thing I had for black at the time, I got extremely anxious in any other color. And if she had wanted me to tone down the cursing, I probably would have reluctantly tried to obey and failed repeatedly force of habit!. There are so few truly articulate people out there. If you find one of them and dwell on a few particular words you don't like (especially words with no truly harmful implications), you're missing the big picture. Most intelligent people are opinionated, and even a bit stubborn. While I realize this could get in the way of the whole submission thing to some extent, all I'm saying is that people who are well spoken should be appreciated for what they have to say, and I would take a brilliant foul mouthed domme over a polite dumby any day of the week.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:27:48 PM)
I swear like the proverbial truck driver when it is acceptable. There are times it is not If requested not to, then it is no longer apropriate. It is not modesty, it is preference. I do not like reading an email that is filled with filler profanity. It strikes me as uneducated, and that they have not got a good enough grasp of the language to get their point across without the swearing. If someone cannot follow a simple request such as "watch your language talking to me" then I would hold out little hope they could follow anything more difficult. DV

Politesub53 -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:28:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shymetalsub I really do find the idea that cursing is harmful and disrespectful to be dated and a little silly. Consider this then, what impression do you think this comment has given any woman reading it about you ? No disrespect, but it sounds as if you are refusing to make an effort with a few manners.

mummyman321 -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:31:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsFlutter I'd like a general reaction to an email conversation I had with a sub male. Despite his above-average command of the English language, his emails were peppered with unnecessarily salty language - his favorite being '8sshole'. I diplomatically suggested that emails were always easier to read when they contained something other than 4 letter words. His response follows below: ....Unfortunately You will see those words in the mails i send You. Hell, they're coming from me, and what a big one i am lol - a, stubborn as one as well. Heck, modesty is not for Dominant Woman like Yourself .... Have basic courtesies died an ugly death ? Ladies, what think you? Guys - your insight is valuable also but I'm not asking you to rat on your own gender ;) We used to call those people HNG's (horny net geeks). And they haven't a clue on how to win a lady's favor.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:32:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 quote: ORIGINAL: shymetalsub I really do find the idea that cursing is harmful and disrespectful to be dated and a little silly. Consider this then, what impression do you think this comment has given any woman reading it about you ? No disrespect, but it sounds as if you are refusing to make an effort with a few manners. I seriously would not appreciate to hear cursing in a nice restaurant and if I would take the kids of some friends out, I would also not like them to be exposed to that kind of language. Nothing wrong with cussing with your mates, only keep it so much in check that you are able to switch it off and F is not part of your normal vocabulary.

shymetalsub -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:38:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 quote: ORIGINAL: shymetalsub I really do find the idea that cursing is harmful and disrespectful to be dated and a little silly. Consider this then, what impression do you think this comment has given any woman reading it about you ? No disrespect, but it sounds as if you are refusing to make an effort with a few manners. I don't think it's a big deal. I never said I would meet a girl at a nice restraunt and curse eight million times per minute, but I'm not going to limit my language to be rated PG, especially when I get close to someone. I'm not an old fashioned guy, I want to be a freaking heavy metal musician for freak's sake lmfao, I can be a little foul mouthed and I like women who are the same way, though it's not a huge deal for me

Politesub53 -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:39:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shymetalsub Please do not mistake me for trolling or flaming but hardly ever in my life have I disagreed with anything more than I disagree with this. Submissive men are not machines. They're not perfect in their ability to obey, nor are they perfect in any other regard, because they're people. When I briefly experimented with D/s with my ex before we broke up, I found myself utterly disobedient and unable to comply with two or three requests. One example was her order to buy non-black clothes. There's just this odd thing I had for black at the time, I got extremely anxious in any other color. And if she had wanted me to tone down the cursing, I probably would have reluctantly tried to obey and failed repeatedly force of habit!. There are so few truly articulate people out there. If you find one of them and dwell on a few particular words you don't like (especially words with no truly harmful implications), you're missing the big picture. Most intelligent people are opinionated, and even a bit stubborn. While I realize this could get in the way of the whole submission thing to some extent, all I'm saying is that people who are well spoken should be appreciated for what they have to say, and I would take a brilliant foul mouthed domme over a polite dumby any day of the week. I can take all that on board. My point is this though. The OP made a request. The guy refused to take note. Now, since he claims to be submissive, what do you think her initial thoughts were. To me, the OP isn`t just about swearing or not swearing. It is about being able to comply with a simple wish from a dominant. Thats aside from my own view that swearing in front of a woman is bad manners ( I grant youngsters may not hold that view )

LadyConstanze -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:41:47 PM)
Heavy metal musician? My, how very 80's...

shymetalsub -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:42:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 quote: ORIGINAL: shymetalsub Please do not mistake me for trolling or flaming but hardly ever in my life have I disagreed with anything more than I disagree with this. Submissive men are not machines. They're not perfect in their ability to obey, nor are they perfect in any other regard, because they're people. When I briefly experimented with D/s with my ex before we broke up, I found myself utterly disobedient and unable to comply with two or three requests. One example was her order to buy non-black clothes. There's just this odd thing I had for black at the time, I got extremely anxious in any other color. And if she had wanted me to tone down the cursing, I probably would have reluctantly tried to obey and failed repeatedly force of habit!. There are so few truly articulate people out there. If you find one of them and dwell on a few particular words you don't like (especially words with no truly harmful implications), you're missing the big picture. Most intelligent people are opinionated, and even a bit stubborn. While I realize this could get in the way of the whole submission thing to some extent, all I'm saying is that people who are well spoken should be appreciated for what they have to say, and I would take a brilliant foul mouthed domme over a polite dumby any day of the week. I can take all that on board. My point is this though. The OP made a request. The guy refused to take note. Now, since he claims to be submissive, what do you think her initial thoughts were. To me, the OP isn`t just about swearing or not swearing. It is about being able to comply with a simple wish from a dominant. Thats aside from my own view that swearing in front of a woman is bad manners ( I grant youngsters may not hold that view ) You have valid points and I am admittedly biased. I just see a lot of shades of gray here. I don't believe you're 100% right and I'm probably just as far from it.

lovingpet -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:50:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet I didn't appreciate it in Carlin or other comics either. When I have something to say, I can say it and rarely ever resort to such words. It takes effort and disipline sometimes to do so, but I don't even remotely consider it dishonest. I have taken great care and pains to express something in a much fuller context than the off the cuff expletive can ever do, so that is not to be taken as some minor thing. There are a lot of folks who know when I would have cussed if I spoke the way they do and really do appreciate me transcending that. It is a matter of better communication, not that one is any more honest than another. Habits and a part of an overall personality are no excuse. lovingpet I absolutely tend to agree! Never said I never use them[;)] lovingpet Sometimes a loud F..... is actually the perfect expression. I used that repeatedly when my wallet with passport and all cards was stolen

Politesub53 -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/14/2008 6:51:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shymetalsub You have valid points and I am admittedly biased. I just see a lot of shades of gray here. I don't believe you're 100% right and I'm probably just as far from it. Devils advocate time. Here is a comment of yours on another thread. Surely these words should hold for all requests and not just some. quote: Don't be so hard on yourself. You just said he ignores orders when you guys aren't playing. If you want something even close to a 24/7 relationship, he needs to be ready to obey.

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