RE: Asking too much to clean up the language?

RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (Full Version)

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DominaSusan -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/15/2008 9:39:51 PM)
My Father was in show business, in a backstage sort of way. He once swore in a conversation with Joan Rivers. She turned to him and basically told him that she expected to be treated like the Lady she was. Her stage persona was just that a persona. Although I'm sure no one is ‘acting’, there is just no excuse for vulgarity in conversations, unless you happen to live in a barn.

stella41b -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/15/2008 10:54:52 PM)
Just wanted to add that when you [expletive] it [expletive] [expletive] other [expletive] people who [expletive] [expletive] back and that [expletive] means you don't [expletive] or [expletive] [expletive] but merely [expletive] [expletive] all the time.

NormalOutside -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/15/2008 11:00:35 PM)
We designate certain words to be rude, crude, vulgar, mean, etc. And then we use them and get offended by them. BRILLIANT! I say we just get over it and move on. Letters and other symbols don't hurt anything. If someone were to use them as part of an attack of some kind, sure, that's offensive. But not because of the letters/numbers/symbols they use - because of the attack itself. If you don't like my fuckin' language, get the fuck out of my face. :p

candystripper -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/15/2008 11:07:14 PM)
Sometimes I write more formally, but yes, sometimes I use foul language. I choose words I think best convey my meaning succintly. There really is no synonymn for 'clusterfk', e,g. I agree with NO, there is no 'value' to attach to words apart from the intent behind them. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/16/2008 2:19:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NormalOutside We designate certain words to be rude, crude, vulgar, mean, etc. And then we use them and get offended by them. BRILLIANT! I say we just get over it and move on. Letters and other symbols don't hurt anything. If someone were to use them as part of an attack of some kind, sure, that's offensive. But not because of the letters/numbers/symbols they use - because of the attack itself. If you don't like my fuckin' language, get the fuck out of my face. :p So if you had met a sub and told her to not swear and she mouthed off anyway that would be OK? To me that is the point. Most Domme's do not like swearing so if you are trying to meet them and engage with them and prove yourself as a submissive or a slave shouldn't you be able to fulfill a simple request?

TexasMaam -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/16/2008 3:40:40 AM)
Expletives are an indication of either: 1. ignorance 2. emotional imbalance 3. habit Since this particular sub seems fairly sentient, in this case it could indicate some emotional problems or could simply be a bad habit learned either in the home or in a work environment. Either way, an individual who curses habitually to express themselves is capable of replacing the vulgar language with alternate words to break the bad habit. I once worked in an environment where every other word was a curse word, it was the habitual response to any given situation and every single coworker blasted out strings of epithets and curse words at the drop of a hat. Once I picked up the habit, it was not so easy to break. Now that I've broken the habit I make it a point to stay away from individuals who haven't made that leap to communication-hyperspace. No trash in, No trash out. Good luck, TexasMaam

sleuthingsub -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/17/2008 1:35:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLou There is a part of me that thinks it is somewhat prudish when people take such dislike to general, non specific cussing; they are, after all, only words. But, I also do not like to hear excessive pointless cussing as well. When I hear people talk in excessive expletives for no good reason, I can't help but come to the conclusion that the said person has a problem and articulating their thoughts, and is rather petulant. That said, I swear too f'ing much. Lol. But, to swear in text, for me at least, really would take effort to do so, even when writing in a stream-of-consciousness type way. When one writes, there is extra time and thought going into what is being written. So, if there is excessive cussing, then that person is either completely clueless as to the impression they are making, or they are going out of their way to 'posture'. I would find neither particularly impressive. I also feel swearing excessively knocks the poignancy (and point) out of cussing. A solitary, and well placed expletive is far more satisfying and effective than a continuous barrage of cuss words. I personal would take offence at his “modesty is not for dominant women like yourself” assertion. I would be tempted throw a similarly offensive-manipulative assertion back at him along the lines of 'swearing like a petulant Neanderthal is not for graceful, well tempered, intelligent sub males, with self control.... like yourself', but it's probably not worth it. Just consider it part of the vetting process, and put it down to a incompatible temperaments. Regardless of sub/Dom orientation, if one can't be courteous enough uphold a simple request like toning down the cussing a bit, the man just lacks basic manners. what she said ^ Seriously, remember that story about the boy who cried wolf? Overuse is annoying, and will just cause people to tune you out. Also, I tend to lose respect for those that conduct themselves like lobotomized 10 year olds with tourette's.

darchChylde -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/17/2008 3:13:57 PM)
Let me preface this with the statement that I have not read anything beyond this first page, this is a thread I have avoided since it was fresh and only now do I find myself unable to resist. First off, about the language: Words are words, there are no bad or dirty words just like there are no magic words. Those words that are commonly accepted as bad words are just that: a commonly accepted standard. Did we make this standard? No. The more important question would be 'Did we create this sensitivity to certain words in ourselves?'. That answer would be 'No.' as well. Our parents, or our parents' parents' parents did. We just continue this misnomer of language with each generation we tell 'Good boys and girls don't say things like that.'. It creates a false sense of propriety and offers a moral highground to those who honestly may have no true claim to it. I'd worry less about the guy who regularly uses 'fuck' and 'shit' than the guy who spouts 80's slang such as 'Radical Dude!!!' or 'Tubular'. Now to the true meat of the question, is asking someone to clean up their language an unreasonable request? No, absolutely not. As the dominant it is your prerogative to set your own standard for how those approaching you as a sub/slave/bottom are going to present themselves. As a matter of fact, it's a choice all individuals should make and make clear to others. If you don't like salty language, make it clear that you will not accept it from those who you choose to allow in your presence. I personally don't care for derogatorily used racial slang (or hate speech) and when it comes up I make it clear that I do not care to spend my time around those who choose to use such with any frequency, be they dominant or submissive/boss or coworker/friend or fuckbuddy. quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper I choose words I think best convey my meaning succintly. There really is no synonymn for 'clusterfk' Yes, that word is bureaucracy.

marie2 -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/17/2008 3:39:41 PM)
I think there are two different questions in your post: One: Have manners and courtesy "died an ugly death" ?. No..they haven't. Profanity is just profanity, in and of itself it doesn't make someone rude, or disrespectful without knowing the context of the entire expression. Furthermore, if someone IS being rude and classless, it's just one person, not an entire society of people. Two (this is what I gleened. Could be wrong.): Should a sub defer to me on this issue? I would have, and commonly do. But I'm not him, and because he chooses not to conform to your suggestions, he possibly isn't the right one for you, since it means a lot to you. This alone doesn't make him rude or mannerless, necessarily, it just makes him unwilling to curb his language for you. You can either accept that, or kick his ass to the curb, and seek someone more in line with your beliefs. I guess we're always making choices (doms and subs) with regards to what we're willing to deal with or compromise on, and what we aren't.

MissEnchanted -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 3:34:35 AM)
Peon, This might be a great reference for you: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dag+nabbit It is a great site for American slang And to the op: If a Domme requests a clean-up of language, then compliance might be a good idea, or it might be a sore butt. [:D] And I agree there is no perfect translation for clusterf*** I used it yesterday and although I searched for better words before I said it, it worked better than anything else, Totally bitchen' man...!

PeonForHer -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 6:19:01 AM)
Thanks for the tip ME. I know people are only getting me back for using so much Brit slang when I first joined. The bounders.

MsStarlett -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 8:20:29 AM)
I think you Brits are going to have to start making submissions to Urban Dictionary for European slang.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 8:43:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery and what if , you know people deal with shock in different ways, so what if as a way of dealing with his shock he slapped you back, you ll understand he did not mean to do it, it just happened, like i say a reflex action, like could it become a slapping game then, You slap me, i slap you, You slap me , i slap you, a bit like a pantomine, would You regard that as ok, has this ever happened to You, and how would You react if it did kevin If a servant raised a hand to me after being disciplined, that would be the -very- last moment xhe spent in our household. The next move after xhe struck me would be a firm escort directly to the front door, and notification that hir things would be shipped as soon as xhe sent a forwarding address. For the OP... I have a somewhat crass mouth, and don't mind the occasional expletive from our servants, but, in all honesty, I've become -more- modest as a keeper than I was before I wore that mantle... and having someone tell me that modesty had no place in my experience... well... that just wouldn't be someone who understood me at all, now, would it?

LaTigresse -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 8:50:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde Let me preface this with the statement that I have not read anything beyond this first page, this is a thread I have avoided since it was fresh and only now do I find myself unable to resist. First off, about the language: Words are words, there are no bad or dirty words just like there are no magic words. Those words that are commonly accepted as bad words are just that: a commonly accepted standard. Did we make this standard? No. The more important question would be 'Did we create this sensitivity to certain words in ourselves?'. That answer would be 'No.' as well. Our parents, or our parents' parents' parents did. We just continue this misnomer of language with each generation we tell 'Good boys and girls don't say things like that.'. It creates a false sense of propriety and offers a moral highground to those who honestly may have no true claim to it. I'd worry less about the guy who regularly uses 'fuck' and 'shit' than the guy who spouts 80's slang such as 'Radical Dude!!!' or 'Tubular'. Now to the true meat of the question, is asking someone to clean up their language an unreasonable request? No, absolutely not. As the dominant it is your prerogative to set your own standard for how those approaching you as a sub/slave/bottom are going to present themselves. As a matter of fact, it's a choice all individuals should make and make clear to others. If you don't like salty language, make it clear that you will not accept it from those who you choose to allow in your presence. I personally don't care for derogatorily used racial slang (or hate speech) and when it comes up I make it clear that I do not care to spend my time around those who choose to use such with any frequency, be they dominant or submissive/boss or coworker/friend or fuckbuddy. quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper I choose words I think best convey my meaning succintly. There really is no synonymn for 'clusterfk' Yes, that word is bureaucracy. I think darch's take on the whole thing reflects my own. I am a huge fan of colourful language. I also have a brain and do my very best to edit content for location and audience. However, if a slave refused to edit their speech at my request, they would not be my slave.

MistresseLotus -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 9:08:09 AM)
I agree. Sometimes I think that if you removed the word "fuck" from the language... they would be at a loss for words.

MistresseLotus -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 9:13:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shymetalsub I don't think it's a big deal. I never said I would meet a girl at a nice restraunt and curse eight million times per minute, but I'm not going to limit my language to be rated PG, especially when I get close to someone. I'm not an old fashioned guy, I want to be a freaking heavy metal musician for freak's sake lmfao, I can be a little foul mouthed and I like women who are the same way, though it's not a huge deal for me The only hting you have going for you is your age. You'll outgrow the need for your cursing. Class comes with age and experience.What you hold so dear now will mean nothing in 20 years.

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 9:35:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde Let me preface this with the statement that I have not read anything beyond this first page, this is a thread I have avoided since it was fresh and only now do I find myself unable to resist. First off, about the language: Words are words, there are no bad or dirty words just like there are no magic words. Those words that are commonly accepted as bad words are just that: a commonly accepted standard. Did we make this standard? No. The more important question would be 'Did we create this sensitivity to certain words in ourselves?'. That answer would be 'No.' as well. Our parents, or our parents' parents' parents did. We just continue this misnomer of language with each generation we tell 'Good boys and girls don't say things like that.'. It creates a false sense of propriety and offers a moral highground to those who honestly may have no true claim to it. I'd worry less about the guy who regularly uses 'fuck' and 'shit' than the guy who spouts 80's slang such as 'Radical Dude!!!' or 'Tubular'. Yes, I believe there is a "commonly accepted standard" when it comes to using curse words. There are places you can be free to use them, and places you should not. If one can not tell the difference, there is an issue there. Job interview- bad. Hanging out with your friends- ok. I'm not going to lower my standards just because someone tells me "that's just the way I speak". The same goes for written language. Ever see the movie "Idiocracy"? LadyJulieAnn

imhandy -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 10:26:48 AM)
I just don't get it either. When I was growing up the use of Hell and Damn were considered offensive. The common phrase then was that," profanity is the tool of a weak mind ". That said, unfortunately as I hear profanity in such common usage I too tend to put it in my speech, but I certainly would never do so in writing. Just for those that don't know it is actually a federal offense to use profanity on a public communication device ( i.e. phones, radios, or the internet ). Just because it is not well enforced does not mean the law is gone. We already know the manners are obsolete !!!

MadameMarque -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/30/2008 11:43:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsFlutter Despite his above-average command of the English language, his emails were peppered with unnecessarily salty language - his favorite being '8sshole'. I diplomatically suggested that emails were always easier to read when they contained something other than 4 letter words. His response follows below: ....Unfortunately You will see those words in the mails i send You. Hell, they're coming from me, and what a big one i am lol - a, stubborn as one as well. Heck, modesty is not for Dominant Woman like Yourself .... Have basic courtesies died an ugly death ? This response you've quoted, isn't really about a general dearth of social grace. It's about a guy who approaches you as if he wants to be submissive to you, but immediately takes a dominant stance. You let him know the kind of language you prefer. His response isn't to oblige you, because he'd like you to be more comfortable in your conversations or more happy with him. His concern is not your pleasure. His response is, 'well, that's the kind of language you're going to keep getting from me.' Then he lets you know that based upon his idea of how a dominant woman should feel, you shouldn't even mind his vulgarity.

E2Sweet -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (12/1/2008 1:44:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus ...You'll outgrow the need for your cursing. Class comes with age and experience.What you hold so dear now will mean nothing in 20 years... Absolutely true. Nothing has impacted my speech (and my life for that matter) more negatively than spending time with some of the idiots I did during my high school years...

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