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VeryCurious07 -> RE: Asking too much to clean up the language? (11/15/2008 6:11:38 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MsFlutter
I'd like a general reaction to an email conversation I had with a sub male. Despite his above-average command of the English language, his emails were peppered with unnecessarily salty language - his favorite being '8sshole'. I diplomatically suggested that emails were always easier to read when they contained something other than 4 letter words. His response follows below:
....Unfortunately You will see those words in the mails i send You. Hell, they're coming from me, and what a big one i am lol - a, stubborn as one as well. Heck, modesty is not for Dominant Woman like Yourself ....
Have basic courtesies died an ugly death ?
Ladies, what think you? Guys - your insight is valuable also but I'm not asking you to rat on your own gender ;)
MsFlutter, I believe that the answer to this is both multifaceted as well as more complex than a casual glance would clear up because it deals with several levels of questions. The first is obviously, What kind of a submissive person would tell a potential Dom he is opening contact with what basically amounts to, "this is who I am and I am not about to change?"
The second question is sort of the other side of the coin: Could it simply be that you two aren't a match and that his initial answer to you was just him being honest? In either case, it would seem to me that you should certainly consider disqualifying such a person from your search. I have "fantasies" of submission, but am not certain I could ever live it as a lifestyle, but let me be clear about something. If I were looking for a Goddess to control me I would certainly want to be a lot more amenable to change, and if not drastic changes at the beginning of our interaction, certainly I would take a woman's suggestions about my demeanor and/or language idiosyncrasies a lot more serious than such casual dismissal.
To further complicate things, there is a widespread and unfortunate propensity for Internet chats, emails, and message-board posts to degenerate into what I like to call Internet geeky-shorthand. While I can read it, I dislike it intensely, but that is my own personal tastse. If you do as well, perhaps you can use this as one of your yardsticks to evaluate someone to chat with or even a potential partner in the very early stages. Let's use me as an example. Pretend that I started corresponding with you and our intention was to see what happens and see where it goes. Let's also assume that I am into l33t or other Internet geek-speech and this bothers you to the point that you ae wondering about my intelligence or ability to communicate outside this modality. You could then ask me, as a DOMINANT woman, in as nice or demanding way as fits your own personal style, to type in more standard English. You could even see this as a test I needed to pass in order to even BE CONSIDERED to be on your list, forget about actual dating or meeting off-line.
If I then come back with a willingness to change, and even a desire to have you help me (or prehaps train me?) then would this not be something that could endear me to you? If, on the other hand, I was glib, saying what that person said to you, then you could realize that I am simply not for you, wish me luck in my search, and move on to men who display more submissive qualities.
While I do NOT know you at all, my only suggestion to you, based on your initial post at least, is just be more clear about what YOU WANT from a man and do not compromise those standards. Any man who wants to submit to your authority is going to have to have the ability, desire, and most of all WILLINGNESS to...well submit to your authority! Does it bode well for someone who displays a complete irreverence for your will at the very outset of your interaction?
Want another opinion? Email this guy and THANK HIM for showing you honestly who he really is and for not wasting your time. ;-)
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