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RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 10:39:01 AM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

wannabe's and fakes to me are literal wannabe's and fakes, people who are not what they attest to being, and put a fair share of effort into keeping you conveniently in the dark which we often will be. could be age, could be gender, could be just the typical lies people tell you in any situation; bragging or boasting of their life and what it entails. "i have 6 female slaves, and i am the master of all women", "i am the supreme goddess that you are unworthy to blah blah blah...", we've heard most of it all before, just like we hear such things in the vanilla world.

on the other end, i think people with experience, people who have been around for some time, will easily and perhaps judgmentally catch onto and respond with distaste to the bs of unwitting newbies, and that will likely lead anyone to look at them as a "wannabe". this effect seems especially true when they're trying desperately to "prove something" to you, like how badass of a dom/me they are, or how much more submissive they are than all the other wannabes, but many just seem to lack sincerity in their words, and lack the capability of seeing 5 minutes past the fantasy, and that is a big indicator for me. a lot of people just have a "fakey" attitude, too this or too that; or a nonsensical idealogy about how things work... too ready to say "you're/i'm a slave" within the first 5 minutes of meeting.

but for me, it's mostly things like men saying they're female, or people flat out contradicting themselves; as far as their interests are concerned, i don't expect them to waste a single second on this site if it's not a part of them to some measure or extremity, so fakes and wannabe's just come down to the simple, "are you who you claim to be", which in most cases, we will never know.

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 11/18/2008 10:57:18 AM >

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Post #: 21

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 10:49:54 AM

atypicalsub

Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer

lots of negative comments, but really I perceive most wannabe's listed as just inexperienced, ignorant of what happens. Maybe they are intrigued, or want to find out more so they ask naive questions, I don't remember being born with a BDSM handbook in my hand LOL

Just my own opinion...

Dreamer

Thank you for this. It seems a lot of people forget that *everyone* was a newbie at one time.

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(in reply to greeneyedreamer)

Post #: 22

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 11:06:46 AM

atypicalsub

Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loxosceles

" I am a submissive, not a doormat"

So having a bit a self esteem makes a submissive a wannabee?

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"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)

(in reply to Loxosceles)

Post #: 23

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 11:14:20 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: atypicalsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loxosceles

" I am a submissive, not a doormat"

So having a bit a self esteem makes a submissive a wannabee?

But doesn't a line like that tell you immediately why he's still looking?

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(in reply to atypicalsub)

Post #: 24

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 11:18:16 AM

atypicalsub

Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: atypicalsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loxosceles

" I am a submissive, not a doormat"

So having a bit a self esteem makes a submissive a wannabee?

But doesn't a line like that tell you immediately why he's still looking?

Not in the least. It just says the person in question is submissive but still believes they deserve to be treated like a human being. Why should a submissive agree to being abused by anyone who claims to be Dom/me without knowing anything more about them?

_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 25

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 11:21:50 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: atypicalsub

Not in the least. It just says the person in question is submissive but still believes they deserve to be treated like a human being. Why should a submissive agree to being abused by anyone who claims to be Dom/me without knowing anything more about them?

I wasn't clear. I was agreeing with you! Someone who assumes anyone with moral boundaries and healthy self esteem isn't a 'twue' sub is someone who would have difficulty finding a good relationship. And having looked at his profile, I wasn't surprised at all to find out he can't seem to find someone, considering his expressed attitudes towards submissives.

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Post #: 26

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 11:59:28 AM

Aszhrae

Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline

Girl really does not like it when girl, yes, that is how girl wishes to be addressed, shares the fact that girl is a submissive. Everyone wants to be the dominant, mistress or master. Why, are they scared that they may enjoy being a submissive more than being a dominant or is it because its a chance for them to be cruel.
Submissive does not mean girl is a nympho, or a toilet.
In girl's opinion, submissive seeks only to please the dominant, there is as girl believes a philosophy, a spirituality with being a submissive. There is a feeling of empowerment that comes from relinquishing the self to the will of another. Being a submissive is a respect to the one that you the submissive would empower. Should the one that is empowered to be dominant, also respect the submissive for having given so much trust in their chosen dominant. Yes, you read correctly, chosen, the submissive chooses to be with dominant.
Girl chooses, submissives choose. A dominant may be attracted by what a submissive posts or states in private message. We all have our own way of being submissive towards a dominant.
Girl will never judge another submissive as doing something incorrectly, each submissive is a unique individual. All have our strengths and weaknesses. Who is to say among the submissives here in CM, who is real and who is not?
Being submissive is what we are, if men wish to roleplay being women, let them. There are transgendered here in CM. Do not forget. Its about freedom being who and what we are as submissives.
Such is girl's opinion. Girl is here to find a mistress to serve, to unconditionally loyal and devoted. For girl being a submissive is a philosophy and a spiritual choice. Do not like what girl has to say. Your choice.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 27

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 12:02:45 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Are you really saying that dominant women and submissive men are just role playing? That a submissive male is actually pretending to be female? Because that's insulting as can be. Who are you to decide that?

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 28

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 12:55:13 PM

Aszhrae

Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline

Girl is no one to judge anyone. Only an opinion shared and to each their own. Like it or not, it is true and as for girl's opinion towards men rping as women, girl doesn't like men. If girl managed to insult a few submissive men posing as women, then girl apologizes for that, but girl was only sharing opinion. But in all honesty, girl could really care less about what men think. That is not meant as a flame. Just girl's thought upon the subject.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 29

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 1:20:19 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Okay... I have morning brain and all... but I am confused as hell. lol I hear a ding and it must be me... but damn... could some of you all please...please stop using all those sentences with words missing and nouns all thrown about?

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Post #: 30

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 1:24:41 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Well, Ms. Lockit, I have afternoon brain... and I hear an "a-ling"... and it's not me or you.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 31

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 3:57:01 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

you MAY be talking with a wanna be/wanker

Hold up, hold up.... which is it you want to talk about, wannabe or wanker? A wannabe, to me, is someone who pretends to be something they're not - like the South African in my local in Arlington, who did his spiel about being having been with the SBS (British Special Boat Service), while not realizing that, this close to the Pentagon, he'd be likely to be surrounded by ex-forces - a former Commando, three ex-Marines, and a couple Air Force folks. He was. And we had all trained with the British. And then I put him on my cell with my friend in Jo'burg, and he couldn't speak Afrikaans. We had fun though. He left rather quickly.

A wanker - that's any kind of random idiot, like my last boss. This isn't to say that the wannabe wasn't a wanker, as well. While my wanker boss wasn't a wannabe - he really approved my expenses.

(in reply to JoyfulMistress)

Post #: 32

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 5:07:24 PM

JoyfulMistress

Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loxosceles

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoyfulMistress
* you MAY be talking with a wanna be/wanker*

" I am a submissive, not a doormat"

Hun I am not saying everyone is a wanna be or a wanker and heavens I did not say anyone was a doormat .. and honestly ... wannabes and wankers come in ALL POSITIONS !!!!!

(in reply to Loxosceles)

Post #: 33

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 5:41:39 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

Being submissive is what we are, if men wish to roleplay being women, let them. There are transgendered here in CM. Do not forget. Its about freedom being who and what we are as submissives.

Some f*cking roleplay!!! A childhood of abuse, years of pain, of more abuse, of ridicule, of heartache, of pain, of loneliness, of misery, of hormones, of risks of liver damage, blood clots and sudden death, the loss of almost an entire family, lots of friends, a career, jobs, homes, not to mention the stress. I post of my own life here, but I'm not a special case.

Yeah, some role play. Try THINKING before you post next time, eh?

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(in reply to Aszhrae)

Post #: 34

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 6:00:18 PM

charlie00

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/17/2006
Status: offline

here's something interesting.. if i write someone and put nothing but things about me, i have been asked " why have you made no references to bdsm". Lose lose situation with this " wannabe stuff, maybe people just like calling everyone that! Damned if you speak of sex, damned if you dont. Whats a wannabe, is all the pictures of people added daily that can't even spell in their profiles, those "guys" who pretend to be 18 y/o lol, they could at least take a grammer class, and put a little effort into being fake.

(in reply to slvemike4u)

Post #: 35

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 7:47:02 PM

JoyfulMistress

Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: charlie00

here's something interesting.. if i write someone and put nothing but things about me, i have been asked " why have you made no references to bdsm". Lose lose situation with this " wannabe stuff, maybe people just like calling everyone that! Damned if you speak of sex, damned if you dont.

Great point Thank you charlie00...

(in reply to charlie00)

Post #: 36

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 9:02:04 PM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline

My first clue about someone being a 'wannabe' is if a submissive displays anger, particularly in their profile. There's nothing wrong with feeling angry, but I don't understand why you would be displaying it when searching for a dominant.

(in reply to slvemike4u)

Post #: 37

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 9:35:31 PM

WhiplashSmile2

Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

Wannabes and wankers are generally terms many people toss around like loose change.   Given the fact that the many differences of peoples perspectives and experiences here in BDSM land, these terms are often misused.

Mind you, there is a measure of truth in the use of Wannabes or wankers.  Some people try to pass themselves as being something they really are not. Some people try to pass off being more experiences then they really are.

It should be pretty much of a no brainer when getting to know somebody, when they get tripped up in their own lies and bullshit, or can't keep a story straight to save their life.   Wankers and Wannabes will sooner or later show and prove themselves for what they really are.

Sooner or later the truth always comes out.

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 38

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/18/2008 11:14:44 PM

NewnImproved

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/13/2008
From: California
Status: offline

Im a bit new to this whole lifestyle in r/l But I've got some experience with 'wannabe's and 'wankers'. You find them online a lot. I will put this bluntly. Wannabe's and Wankers are those who have no respect for others. Case and point. sitting in bdsm chatrooms, there are plenty of slaves/subs and Masters/Doms who will just come into a room and start pming people, without asking,w ithout saying a word in the open room, and demand (if Dom) or beg (if sub) for sex. THATS A WANNABE. Now, I had someone sort of like that. came into room, asked if he could pm me. came into my pm, started a conversation. he then asked if he could give me a blowjob. I told him that I was straight, so no he couldnt. He thanked me, continued the conversation we were having. I respect that sort of submissive/slave

(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)

Post #: 39

RE: What makes a wannabe in your eyes - 11/19/2008 3:42:20 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

To me a wannabe is somebody who owns dozens of Harley shirts, wears a chain wallet but has never owned a Harley.

Seriously OP, exactly why did you come to the subbie board to ask subbies what makes another subbie a wannabe in their eyes?

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Post #: 40

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