Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

A semi philosophical question.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> A semi philosophical question. Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:02:41 PM   
DoctorJeep


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/17/2008
Status: offline 		I had written on another thread about the need to see your sub as not just a toy.  Fellow Doms, don't get me wrong, she is there to serve and to please, but, to truly get the most out of her I believe that there must be a mental connection when vertical before play begins.  As such, she trusts you more and you explore her more fully.  I find that I simply get bored with subs who have nothing to themselves.  So my question to the Doms and the subs out there is:

To the Doms:

Which play is better and more satisfying to you?  Do you prefer to have the totally disposable little toy?  Or, do you find that breaking in one that you actually care for as a person is more of a challenge and produces more of a gain?  I suppose that the way that I phrased that indicates my preference...

To the Subs:  Would you rather be chewed up and spit out or, would you rather have a Dom who sees you and into you where you have developed a more serious bond?

To both:

Obviously both have thier place depending on the scene and the appetite, but which really makes it for you?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:06:12 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I am much more into the deep bond with a man, that man who sees me as more than just a slave, a fucktoy, a thing. He sees me as someone he cares for, enjoys in every way, someone he feels comfortable with on a deeper level.

Sure the whole playtoy thing is fun but in the end I need more..much more.

(in reply to DoctorJeep)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:07:26 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Honestly, both really make it for me. I get a huge kick out of topping a 'toy' for an evening. I also get a kick out of long-term, intense training for a long-term servant. They're two completely different facets of WIITID, to me, and I don't really enjoy one or the other -more-... both are equally satisfying, and in both cases, I get a huge rush from the process. The only real difference with the long-term training is that the rush is typically not as high, but it is more prolonged. It's a nice change, sometimes, from the high-intensity, short duration 'rush' that comes with topping for casual play.

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to DoctorJeep)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:08:16 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If I understand you are asking if I need a connection or can I play casually. I need a strong connection. Without that, I don't trust.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:09:58 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not a dog toy , so i choose option #2!

For me the mental connection is everything - but, it took a while to develope with my Sir. I knew the potential was there when we started to play, and live together.  I have had others scene me - but to me that is part of my submission to my Sir. He enjoys watching me be scened - and honestly, it reinforces to me how well my Sir and i mesh - emotionally and physically.  No- one has come close to making me feel the way my Sir does.

(in reply to DoctorJeep)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:10:04 PM   
caro44


Posts: 270
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		littlewonder, you have expressed my feelings exactly. I can add nothing more.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:25:34 PM   
LookMastersHome


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/9/2008
Status: offline 		In my opinion, its getting to know a sub on a primal level that reaps the highest level of devotion from them and satisfaction in them.

The proper mental bond endures long after any playtime ropes are cut.

(in reply to caro44)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:29:19 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		Sometimes, I like the disposable toy feeling, either as the top or bottom.  Othertimes, I like the less disposable but still relativly transactional/superficial relationship, pretty much always as the bottom.  Othertimes I like the deep fuzzy connection and closeness, then, I'm a person with kinks.

I don't value one experience over the other two.  I like all three, for different reasons, with different people, at different times.  If I lost either I would be less fulfilled and less complete.

I think Calla said it better than me, though we have different relationships.

(in reply to caro44)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:35:50 PM   
DoctorJeep


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/17/2008
Status: offline 		I absolutely agree.  The bond that is needed to truly "get there" requires a level of deeper understanding.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:39:57 PM   
DoctorJeep


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/17/2008
Status: offline 		While disposability allows for a short quick rush and the disposability is a rush unto itself, I have never had a truly awesome topping seesion unless I have gotten into her head a bit.  Also, there has to be some level of genuine affection I think.  When that happens she opens more and I find myself feeling more free to play.  I say this because I feel a responsibility to push the limits of my subs but not to actually damage them.  A disposable toy, you do not know the real limits of.  Your truly attached sub on the other hand you can take right to her lines and dance there safely. 

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 4:54:06 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		There are times when I am used very hard with little emotional connection.  They are not my preferred times but know that I owe them to my Master if this is what he chooses for me.  Feeling like an anonymous body just being used is difficult for me but it makes the times with a true connection so much more profound.

_____________________________



(in reply to IvyMorgan)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 5:04:53 PM   
DoctorJeep


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/17/2008
Status: offline 		Of course I hear that.  The withdrawal of intimacy can, if used sparingly provide an additional emotional jolt.  However, I find it much more intense to play and to punish in a more direct and connected way.

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 5:54:04 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorJeep

I had written on another thread about the need to see your sub as not just a toy.  Fellow Doms, don't get me wrong, she is there to serve and to please, but, to truly get the most out of her I believe that there must be a mental connection when vertical before play begins.  As such, she trusts you more and you explore her more fully.  I find that I simply get bored with subs who have nothing to themselves.  So my question to the Doms and the subs out there is:

To the Doms:

Which play is better and more satisfying to you?  Do you prefer to have the totally disposable little toy?  Or, do you find that breaking in one that you actually care for as a person is more of a challenge and produces more of a gain?  I suppose that the way that I phrased that indicates my preference...

To the Subs:  Would you rather be chewed up and spit out or, would you rather have a Dom who sees you and into you where you have developed a more serious bond?

To both:

Obviously both have thier place depending on the scene and the appetite, but which really makes it for you?



As a self identified sub, what works for me is a blend of both. There are times where I quite enjoy being used as a toy for the dom's pleasure first and there's a time where that deeper mental connection needs to be reaffirmed between myself and my dom. In the end, having that deeper connection is slightly greater then just being used as a plaything. After awhile, always being used as a plaything for another gets cold and the D/s aspect begins to suffer. At least for me it does.


_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to DoctorJeep)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 6:53:52 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

there must be a mental connection when vertical before play begins


As with everything else, it takes all sorts.

(in reply to DoctorJeep)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 7:07:46 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
Honestly, both really make it for me. I get a huge kick out of topping a 'toy' for an evening. I also get a kick out of long-term, intense training for a long-term servant. They're two completely different facets of WIITID, to me, and I don't really enjoy one or the other -more-... both are equally satisfying, and in both cases, I get a huge rush from the process. The only real difference with the long-term training is that the rush is typically not as high, but it is more prolonged. It's a nice change, sometimes, from the high-intensity, short duration 'rush' that comes with topping for casual play.

Ditto!!!!  And the same is true as a sub, sometimes I just want to be a toy where my mind is neither desired nor required, and sometimes I want to be useful as a thoughtful witty companion.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 7:11:51 PM   
DoctorJeep


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
Honestly, both really make it for me. I get a huge kick out of topping a 'toy' for an evening. I also get a kick out of long-term, intense training for a long-term servant. They're two completely different facets of WIITID, to me, and I don't really enjoy one or the other -more-... both are equally satisfying, and in both cases, I get a huge rush from the process. The only real difference with the long-term training is that the rush is typically not as high, but it is more prolonged. It's a nice change, sometimes, from the high-intensity, short duration 'rush' that comes with topping for casual play.

Ditto!!!!  And the same is true as a sub, sometimes I just want to be a toy where my mind is neither desired nor required, and sometimes I want to be useful as a thoughtful witty companion.


Well said again, I am not arguing the use of the "You are my toy" session.  I am arguing however, that even those sessions require the other in order to reach thier full potential.  You can not top a stranger the way you can top a devoted sub.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 7:17:32 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorJeep
I am not arguing the use of the "You are my toy" session.  I am arguing however, that even those sessions require the other in order to reach thier full potential.


No, they don't.  Their full potential is being/using a toy.  You don't need a relationship for that.

Knight's Kyra




_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to DoctorJeep)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 7:23:34 PM   
DoctorJeep


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorJeep
I am not arguing the use of the "You are my toy" session.  I am arguing however, that even those sessions require the other in order to reach thier full potential.


No, they don't.  Their full potential is being/using a toy.  You don't need a relationship for that.

Knight's Kyra

Ahhhh, but your master would not know the extra ways to truly make you feel like a toy if he did not know you well enough to completely top you from the inside out.  To truly make a woman into your toy, you must know her hopes and her fears.  You can not do that with a stranger.




(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 7:27:36 PM   
DoctorJeep


Posts: 51
Joined: 11/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorJeep
I am not arguing the use of the "You are my toy" session.  I am arguing however, that even those sessions require the other in order to reach thier full potential.


No, they don't.  Their full potential is being/using a toy.  You don't need a relationship for that.

Knight's Kyra





But then again, to each her own.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A semi philosophical question. - 11/18/2008 7:38:58 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

To the Subs:  Would you rather be chewed up and spit out or, would you rather have a Dom who sees you and into you where you have developed a more serious bond?

Chewed up and spit out any day of the week. Emotional or mental ties are of no use to me when all I crave is a good hard beat the shit out me 24/7. Of course, I do  not participate in 'sessions' so maybe my way is of no use to others at all

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to DoctorJeep)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> A semi philosophical question. Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094