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What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:03:10 AM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		Do you like/need high protocol, casual or somewhere in between in your dynamic? What and why?

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:12:49 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Why is everyone always trying to make me choose?  I want it all dammit!  LOL

Seriously, it really depends.  There are times when I do use and expect very formal protocols... but there are other times when things are very informal.  That is, I like a certain "base" level of protocol as a constant (as I find that useful to maintaining the dynamic), with higher levels at specific instances.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:14:00 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I prefer somewhere in the middle. High protocol makes me feel too micromanaged and too much casual makes me feel like I have no structure.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:25:26 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

Do you like/need high protocol, casual or somewhere in between in your dynamic? What and why?


I know what rules and rituals are important to me to help us each still firmly in our dynamic and make us feel we are connected on the owner-slave level. It's more casual then formal but these are not rituals and rules that get ignored. They are always there as the skeleton for our dynamic.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:28:52 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		It was recently brought to My attention that I am a high protocol person, though I never really thought that way.




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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:33:15 AM   
PurpleSockx


Posts: 63
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline 		It's very much similar as thetammyjo for me as well :) I need a certain level of protocol and the rules & rituals I have give me a sense of comfort and security I would not have in a more casual type of relationship. However, too much of it would make me feel under too much pressure. So I guess, me too, prefer it in the middle :)

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:39:38 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I like high protocol whenever it is possible / appropriate.
I need high protocol regularly and prefer in private (just Him and me) for it always to be there.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:46:47 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I've found that I enjoy a base level of protocol at all times.  There are times in my past when I have found a deeper level to be very fulfilling but I am not clear in my own head as to how long that could be maintained.   I do know, from my last sustained experience, that having no protocol in place makes the dynamic...which is a combination of D/s interaction-love relationship...sway more to being much too similar to "regular" unstructured folks.  Not my cup of coffee... 

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:46:48 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		 
I prefer coolots personally.

Long, creased slacks simply scream high protocol.

Skorts on the other hand are basically too casual for festive holiday gatherings.

So yes, coolots are wonderfully dynamic in almost every situation.

I'm sorry...........

It's about what?

Ohhhhhhh.

Nevermind.

chia* (the pet) 

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You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:47:49 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

Do you like/need high protocol, casual or somewhere in between in your dynamic? What and why?


My personal preference is for a low maintenance high protocol. I have quite a number of rules and protocol that beth's follows but very few are obvious to anyone and they don't require much in the way of follow up or verification. Specifics involve everything from speech, and dress, to consumption and are in place 24/7. They are a very important part of what we consider 24/7 'foreplay'.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:56:11 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Merc describes it well.  When I lived with my second submissive, there were rules and structure set in place that went unnoticed by those not aware of our dynamic.  Wellllll, I say unnoticed but my sister-in-law noted to me one time that things seemed much more organized in my new relationship and that it wasn't just because the kids weren't there...it was the interaction between myself and my partner.  I've had the 3 Rules since I started in D/s...they grew out of the chaos that was my marriage in the endstages...and they were followed.  I was beginning to live the concept that became my basic premise and it was adhered to...by both of us...no matter which mode we were in:  D/s or love-relationship mode and following that premise began to help meld the two areas together.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 7:57:14 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		I prefer a good bit of protocol. Even to the point of what most might think is micromanaging. I spent two years with my first slave "Dicktating" when she slept, ate, drank and a horde of other things. We both thrived in the relationship. Nothing like pain and protocol for focusing the mind.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 8:15:55 AM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		The dominants I have been with have all been very casual.  I don't know if it was just luck or...whatever.  *lol*  My friends describe me as a free spirit, so I don't think high protocol would suit me.  I like a certain amount of freedom.  Okay, it's more like a vast amount of freedom.  *lol*  There was this one....a funny thing happened.  I resisted and resented most attempts to control me, but the longer I was with him, the more things I wanted taken away.  He isn't into micromanagement, though.  I think the problem was that he only wanted to control those things that actually mattered to me (like hair color, smoking), and I was only willing to give him control of things that didn't matter that much (food, bathroom).

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 8:16:01 AM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I personally need somewhere in the middle, and am fortunate that is what i have. As we continue to grow in our relationship, some protocals have been losen while others have been introduced. This has been benificial to me.

oceanwynds

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 8:34:22 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

I personally need somewhere in the middle, and am fortunate that is what i have. As we continue to grow in our relationship, some protocals have been losen while others have been introduced. This has been benificial to me.

oceanwynds

I do this as well. A good bit of my base rules are set up for the benefit of my slaves health. Like eating, exercise and sleeping restrictions. These are also things that I follow as well. Sure I can do what I want but I want to set an example on those things so we do them together.

I don't do as much as I did with her anymore but I still enjoy a good bit. Enough, I believe, that others might call me extreme.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 8:39:22 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

Do you like/need high protocol, casual or somewhere in between in your dynamic? What and why?


We  move through Casual, Medium to High Protocol as the situation requires. Basically watch a good movie or read a book about household life of the upper middle class and aristocracy if say the mid 1800 to 1900 and you will understand what I'm saying for that is the Victorian Era


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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 8:45:00 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'd have to say that what I believe works for my peace of mind is flexibility between strict protocol and casualness. Granted there are some areas which I do see having the rigid protocol is needed and is wanted through the needs and preference of my dom. Primarily because it is compatible with the personality I have. Another reason is for the fact that my basic nature is to have a great sense of freedom which is a bit of a paradox to my needing to be submissive to another.


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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 9:11:42 AM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline 		i like a mix, depending on the circumstances we find ourselves in at the time.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 9:15:19 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		I prefer what comes naturally and comfortably to the domina, and what creates a realistic-feeling atmosphere. Normally, I'd say this means that I lean toward the casual, but protocols that make sense to the domina, and are important to her are good.

What I really dislike is protocols that seem to be blindly adopted simply because "that's the way it's traditionally done". I've used the phrase "Domme-In-A-Box" to describe the unthinking application of rules and protocols in a monkey-see-monkey-do manner. These can make me feel like I'm just faking it, creating an air of artificiality that simply ruins the chemistry for me. Some protocols work for some people, and not for others. I think they're all fine, as long as they've been considered seriously, not applied blindly and automatically.

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RE: What Do You Prefer? - 11/19/2008 10:45:20 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

Do you like/need high protocol, casual or somewhere in between in your dynamic? What and why?


We use both. We have specific protocols in place for our household, but have no problem improvising when it seems like the best choice.

Just like I'll play with casual one-time partners and have a blast, there are times when off-the-cuff works really, really well. At the same time, because I have no problem having multiple servants and training individuals for short-term service or for protocol-style service as a specialization, I do keep a pretty extensive range of extreme to moderate protocols available for our household... everything from the protocols surrounding a formal dinner party or High Tea, to simple greeting protocols.


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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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