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RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:02:28 PM   
MAMandSlave


Posts: 110
Joined: 8/15/2008
Status: offline 		Stephan and Charlotte, I would like to thank you for responding to the content that responded to my post. Stephan, your responses very much covered the question i posed, as well as stated more clearly what my original dilemma was. Charlotte, thank you for talking about your experience. I hope that kristine's experience is as good as yours. If you get the chance to do it again, Stephan I recommend if you can you come with her and get to meet James. He is a very good guy. I chose to pretty much remove myself from the thread but did want to thank you both for sharing your experiences.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:03:56 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You know, the OP wouldn't have gotten all of this flak if he had said upfront that his girl was doing a porn shoot and he had conflicted feelings about it. Instead he claimed she was being trained, which implies specific skills. They aren't teaching her acting or how to put on a facial expression other than she's feeling, she's being tied up, hit, and having sex with various strangers. None of which constitutes training.

Had the Op said what was happening and what his problems emotionally were, he would have gotten different responses. He deliberately misled everyone and then got upset when no one responded accurately. Next time, be honest and to the point.

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Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:05:54 PM   
mystickoolaid


Posts: 519
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You know, the OP wouldn't have gotten all of this flak if he had said upfront that his girl was doing a porn shoot and he had conflicted feelings about it. Instead he claimed she was being trained, which implies specific skills. They aren't teaching her acting or how to put on a facial expression other than she's feeling, she's being tied up, hit, and having sex with various strangers. None of which constitutes training.

Had the Op said what was happening and what his problems emotionally were, he would have gotten different responses. He deliberately misled everyone and then got upset when no one responded accurately. Next time, be honest and to the point.


My point exactly, though stated much more eloquently. Thank you for that.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:10:07 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		He didn't mislead.  Just because trainer has a different connotation to you than it does to people within certain industries doesn't mean he lied.  It's obvious on this thread by now that those people who have had experience in the industry responded to his thread in a mature way.  He was specific in his question and in issuing responses from particular people.  Just because others decided to stick their noses in, doesn't mean they were misled, just that they misunderstood or - guess what - second guessed the intention of the poster!  If people are insisting on shifting blame, who really holds it?
 
I for one think this post rocks and thank people like Lynn, Stephann, MaM and those that have knowledge, imparting it so we can all learn something new.  And those that don't want to learn, will try and justify their ignorance and shove the blame elsewhere.
 
the.dark.

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Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:14:55 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I don't mean to sound too defensive.  I think you would have to watch some of the videos with the girls that really want to be there to truly understand.  This is the best shoot I've ever done in all of the 40 or so shoots I've done this year.  The members on the site are very clear that they enjoy TTOO because it is focused on D/s much more than any of the others.  He (the "trainer") genuinely cares that you have a good time and has enough of that dominant presence plus skill to make it as much of a real scene as it can be.  

Ok, well that wasn't so brief but I hope it helped. 


I would agree with you. As a big fan of sexandsubmission.com along with being an on again off again subscriber, I can tell people that even though it is porn, you can definately tell who is there due to real submissive desire and who is there just for money.

You are the most beautiful and natural beauty that kink has ever used!

_____________________________

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Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
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Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to charlotteS)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:19:26 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

The only kink.com site I've ever joined was sexandsubmission.com and I loved the videos on there.  That Mark Davis makes my wittle heart go pitty pat and my naughty bits wet!



Keep your eyes out on Sex&Submission then; charlotte shot with Mark Davis for it a few weeks ago.  Should be up within a month.

the.dark,

thanks for the kind words.  You responded to Celeste better than I could have.

Celeste,

your views on including others in play are certainly valid; yet they have absolutely no bearing on the topic MAM raised.  It's the same as if you read a woman starting a topic on abortion, and writing "well, if you had been practicing abstinence, you wouldn't have to ask such stupid questions."

Stephan


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(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:20:43 PM   
charlotteS


Posts: 203
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
You are the most beautiful and natural beauty that kink has ever used!


  Thank you!! 




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Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:25:37 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

The only kink.com site I've ever joined was sexandsubmission.com and I loved the videos on there.  That Mark Davis makes my wittle heart go pitty pat and my naughty bits wet!



Keep your eyes out on Sex&Submission then; charlotte shot with Mark Davis for it a few weeks ago.  Should be up within a month.

Stephan



Oh heavens....... 'scuse me while I go swoooooon. 


I'm gonna have to put some pennies aside and resubscribe to watch that!


(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:32:26 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth


quote:

ORIGINAL: MAMandSlave

It is a 4 days of training meeting the goals set forth in the beginning. The object is of course to document a training process on video. But for it to be realistic, it is best if it is real.



so, will the video be for you/your girl to keep as a memento of her training process, or is it's future to be marketed and sold to the general public as BDSM porn?

Edited to add by Merc:
Just a guess, but hearing the description I think he's sent her to the Kink.com site; specifically to the 'Story of O' section. http://www.thetrainingofo.com/site/shoots.jsp?c=1 

They do a pseudo-documentary approach in the production showing the process of training. The slave is compensated in cash for the week and the result, video & pictures, is available for paid subscribers on-line. Training 'goals' and 'progress reports' are published. Usually each day of training appears as a new 'update'.

I think one of our friends and prior house guests did this. It sounded like an interesting experience. If nothing else it is a new and interesting approach to a BDSM porn shoot. The participants are good looking and give a good accounting for the scenes. Unlike many other sites, it looks like the people involved are 'into' it; as well as making some money. Good for them!

I don't know how much "training", outside the 'pro' production aspect one would get from the experience. Who knows - Maybe this thread is a thinly disguised ad campaign.


hasn't sex&submission.com been doing that for a few years now???

My ex gave me like 3 DVD's of sessions. We used it for ideas on things we'd like to try together.

OP - if it;s something you are both into then good on ya. totally not my thing though. Glad my Master agrees with me on that.



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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:39:29 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MAMandSlave

Work is specified as her employment. She does bdsm modeling. She is doing a shoot that is an extended day training session. It is seperate from our relationship, however I developed goals of things that she could use some skill development in. She was not sent to be trained. It is part of work that happens to be with an extremely competent trainer. She is getting some experiences that I could not give her, as I dont have the skills to do so. I am realistic in my knowledge of my own skills. While I can develop these skills in time. She gets to experience them now.  I dont have doubts about my ability to train my girl in skills she needs, and she is confident in me.
My post was specifically asking if others have been in this situation, and how they have dealt with the feeling of being out of direct control. I look forward to responses to this question.


Well hell !! Then my first answer/response is mute !!    I ass-u-me'd that this was not employment. am  Bad  

(in reply to MAMandSlave)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:47:44 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Having some problems understanding why some people are upset with the OP not disclosing certain information. Why would he have to in the first place? How many threads are created with all the information inclosed concerning their question or statement?  Did he mislead us? Hardly, he was seeking information that maybe wasn't understood completely by everyone, but not in a misleading way.  He wanted to know how other people felt about sending their submissive/slave to a trainer. Does it matter what kind or where this trainer was located? I am not a dominate so do not know how it would feel to send someone to a trainer. I do know how I would feel as a submissive being sent, and had so posted. It doesn't matter where, why or the explanation of a trainer here. He had a concern and came to hear what others had to say about it.

Find it crazy to be getting mad at the OP for not coming out with all the details, as if we all deserved to know them.

oceanwynds

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:48:45 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz



Perhaps he didn't want to say that his girl was up at Kink, because he feels that some people on this board can be strangely rude and hypocrital when they find out money is involved with anything bdsm related. People are never as open minded as they think they are.



That wasnt my issue, its just the OP came from an angle that suggested that he saught outside help in training his sub and during this time was wondering how to cope with it all. Thats not strictly what happened, a fetish shoot isnt really the same as sending someone to be trained in something that you arent as skilled in, esp not when she is a fetish model and therefore its part of her job.

My ex and his slave used to do fetish shoots and filming, he was activly involved in the process and was always there (obviously not interupting the scene) however he didnt ever frame it as 'training' it was simply that they both enjoyed it and it helped pay they rent.

It did feel a bit dishonest. The op I mean

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(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 1:52:24 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		I agree with Darcy.

I also happened to enjoy posts that Actually responded to the intended questions posed by the OP. Quite frankly if MAM and his slave agreed to have this done, whose to say its wrong in the first place? Even IF they did get outside training, they are doing what works for Them. Jeezus christ.

< Message edited by Daes -- 11/20/2008 1:55:07 PM >

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(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 2:01:43 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I'm amused and confused by the sudden support of the OP's vagueness. How many other threads to people post asking for advice and they don't tell the whole story? What do people say? "We need more information to give good advice." The OP gave skewed info and got skewed advice. The issue wasn't just about sending her off to some trainer but the OP sounded like that and got posts of that nature. It wasn't about "work related" training as the next post said but they got advice about that. Sending slaves to college classes and stuff. It was about a porno shoot and when they FINALLY said it, then they actually got advice worth something to them from people who had been through the same thing.

If you want good advice you give honest details, not half a story or a watered down version. If they were afraid of being judged because it had to do with porn boohoo. No matter what you post people will judge you, if you're not ready for that then don't post. As someone said, why be vague here if your girl is about to be an internet porn star...people are going to see/know no matter what.

The thread is so far 6 pages long and long maybe 2 pages of useful advice, mainly because the OP was vague. Now, I could really care less either way because this thread has been truly lulz worthy and amusing to read, but it's quite obvious after reading all 6 pages why people are a bit irked at the lack of info. I'm sure people could have given better advice early on (or not have posted at all) if they knew all the details around the issue. But then again, if every poster did that when asking for advice it would lower the lulz factor....ah well.



(in reply to Daes)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 2:48:43 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotteS

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
You are the most beautiful and natural beauty that kink has ever used!


  Thank you!! 






OMG! What was Mark Davis like???? He makes me so hot!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to charlotteS)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 2:51:40 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotteS

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
You are the most beautiful and natural beauty that kink has ever used!


  Thank you!! 






OMG! What was Mark Davis like???? He makes me so hot!


Sssssssttttttttttoooooooopppppppp talking about Mark Davis!  I can only use my hitachi once a dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! 

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 2:54:28 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		please heed your own advice on the hitachi....if you dont believe me, go see the thread on screaming orgasms in the health section....

*waddles off, legs far far apart*

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And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 3:17:52 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

Having some problems understanding why some people are upset with the OP not disclosing certain information. Why would he have to in the first place? How many threads are created with all the information inclosed concerning their question or statement?  Did he mislead us? Hardly, he was seeking information that maybe wasn't understood completely by everyone, but not in a misleading way.  He wanted to know how other people felt about sending their submissive/slave to a trainer. Does it matter what kind or where this trainer was located? I am not a dominate so do not know how it would feel to send someone to a trainer. I do know how I would feel as a submissive being sent, and had so posted. It doesn't matter where, why or the explanation of a trainer here. He had a concern and came to hear what others had to say about it.

Find it crazy to be getting mad at the OP for not coming out with all the details, as if we all deserved to know them.

oceanwynds


I don't have a problem with the OP not disclosing all the info. However I think it's kinda of silly for him to then expect intelligent answers. People gave opinions based on what info they had. Now we have posters ranting because people assumed the wrong things. What do they expect?

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Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 3:21:56 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
Before charlotte did the shoot, James asked both of us to write a detailed explanation of what we thought were charlotte's strong and weak points, and any specific goals we had for her (sexual and non-sexual.)  Almost to the letter, those goals were implemented in the shoot;



Thank you Stephan and thank you Charlotte for relating your personal experience.  The part I left quoted above was what helped me understand why this was being called "training".


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Sent to a trainer - 11/20/2008 3:41:22 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
Before charlotte did the shoot, James asked both of us to write a detailed explanation of what we thought were charlotte's strong and weak points, and any specific goals we had for her (sexual and non-sexual.)  Almost to the letter, those goals were implemented in the shoot;



Thank you Stephan and thank you Charlotte for relating your personal experience.  The part I left quoted above was what helped me understand why this was being called "training".


Cali


I agree with you Cali.. Thanks you guys..

And to all the people who had issue with the way he OP posed this question, what the hell man?  Who pee'd in your wheaties?  There is no winning with some of you.  If the OP had said, "My slave is going to shoot for Kink.com and I am having some struggles dealing with it.." my guess is those same people would have found something wrong with that post too!

And charlotte...being your #1 stalk...um I mean fan, MARK DAVIS??? OMFG!!  Please please tell us how he was!!  He is the sexiest fucking man on that site!

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 120
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