quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
I would not have permitted the casual interaction to happen in the first place. It isn't a matter of trying to be 'openminded'...my judgment of character is based on reasonable foundations, so I shouldn't have some inner guilt about it when it comes down to someone close to me potentially interacting with them.

Moreover, I would sincerely hope that, upon realization of my disfavor for a person, it is my sub/slave who takes the initiative to not contact them at all (except as a possible protective measure, defending the Dom)...not just out of honor to me, but as a underlying trust in my judgment of character and that it is indicating that this other person is not someone worth interacting with.

Then, if the sub continued to choose interaction with this other person despite knowing all this...it starts speaking more of her motivations and flaws than anything else.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

I will not be friends with anyone who disrespects the man I love or our relationship.  End of story.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

Thank you, for this particular post.  You've just addressed the full details of the OP presented, which is why certain specific general details were given.  It can seem rather subjective at times when calling into judgement and character of another person. There is a lot to be said with trusting in ones judgement of character.  Not only for the submissive to trust their Doms judgement of character at times, also for the Dom to actually trust in their own judgement of character.  Trying to keep open minded at times can be a bitch.  Were the foundations reasonable or not?   Now, with this said.  The trust of the Dominant partners judgement is tested.   Now, there is the matter of the Dominant partner trusting the submissive partners judgement of character.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

The Dominant party, stops for a moment and explores the notion that perhaps his own judgement might be unreasonable, since the causual Dominant friend has been respectful towards the submissive and any relationship boundaries.  These lines had not been pushed nor crossed.  Both the Dominant and submissive talk about any possible minor jealously issues that could be at work.   In the mean time, the Dominant leaves it in his submissive partners hands as to the status of the friendship.  Doing so is giving and allowing the submissive partner to have responsibility in the D/s relationship itself.   Still the Dominant has a gut instinct feeling to wrestle with, and manages to set that gut instinct feeling to the side, for the sake of building trust in the relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

Life goes on, however the Dominant notices her causual Dominant friend has unjustly disrepecting another person (a pattern of disrespectful behavior is painfully apparent),  then in a matter of days perhaps a week at best, is when "All Hell breaks loose" when the causual friend intentionally attacks, provokes and disrespecting the Dominant party of the relationship.

As other have expressed, this is also disrespectful towards the submissive partner. 

Personally, I myself have a similar view as kyraofMists posted. "someone's character is such that they are going to be disrespectful to the other members of our family, then they are not someone he will allow to be around us for very long "

I myself have a certain code of coduct and ethics in such matters, that it applies equally to both myself and my partner.  Hence why the OP even goes to far to apply the same situation from different angles. 

Personally, it's very seldom where I feel the need to step in and ask for somebody to discontinue a friendship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I'm CURIOUS to know exactly how it is known that the actions were both intentionally and cause of disrespect (some doms just look for it and have thin skins), but I agree that disrespect isn't cool no matter what dynamic and I'd question why any relationship would continue contact with someone who WAS attempting to cause harm to one of the people involved.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

He wouldn't need to forbid me contact, I'd have dropped the acquaintance on the first rude comment. Why didn't she?

Beyond that, this is a reason to focus on making friends who are other subs, not unattached doms. I've written to other doms on occasion, but there's a reason. Usually something in the forums that I want to know more about but not hijack the thread. Sometimes we keep talking for a while, sometimes we don't. However an unattached dom usually starts to cross the line of where I feel comfortable. They ask or make sexual comments that I feel is inappropriate, there are subtle come ons.

I get the feeling that the sub in question isn't very good at seeing this immediately and without objecting to the first such comment, the other dom will feel he can continue to try to steal her away. Since she isn't seeing it, it is her dom's responsibility to protect his property and the relationship by shutting it down.

Now I don't always see this myself, The Man calls me naive. Occasionally he'll read mail over my shoulder and spot this at which point he writes to the other dom and tells him to back off. That's to save me concern over being rude to people, which I have trouble doing. But I trust his instincts about other men, the same way he trusts my instincts about other women coming on to him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

The issue is about respect.  Respect for other people, and respect for other peoples relationships.  One does not have to try to steal a partner away to be disrespectful you know. :-P

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

Thank you, for this particular post.  You've just addressed the full details of the OP presented, which is why certain specific general details were given.  It can seem rather subjective at times when calling into judgement and character of another person. There is a lot to be said with trusting in ones judgement of character.  Not only for the submissive to trust their Doms judgement of character at times, also for the Dom to actually trust in their own judgement of character.  Trying to keep open minded at times can be a bitch.  Were the foundations reasonable or not?   Now, with this said.  The trust of the Dominant partners judgement is tested.   Now, there is the matter of the Dominant partner trusting the submissive partners judgement of character.

Good points. I myself (being overly analytical by nature) sometimes end up ping ponging back and forth in my head between not wanting to feel/seem illogically restrictive over a sub/slave even while my instinct tells me I don't like someone she is going to potentially interact with.

I think, despite how 'weak' the confusion may seem to outside viewers (and even to our own self-assessments), it is a good sign to see a Dom deliberating over how to best objectively serve and care for his sub/slave.

Again, thank you for your thoughts.  You actually understand and seem to "get it".  I was ping ponging back and forth in my head and I had shared this with her.  If anything finding it a bit of personal inner challenge.  Having to make certain the real issue were not based on petty jealously and other fun stuff like that (downfall of being overly analytical to think about things from many different angles).  This friend by no means disrespected her nor did he try to push any sexual boundaries or make attempts at stealing her away.  Mind you, I do not put it past this guy to not try and attempt such a action.  However, this is not the real issue here.  Because I know he is not the kind of guy she would want for a serious relationship anyways. lol..  So the whole worry about him stealing her away is a pointless worry to begin with.   Some people just don't seem to understand that this is not about anybody trying to steal anybody away.  I wish this thought train would just die on the thread.  Because it's not the issue at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

The Dominant party, stops for a moment and explores the notion that perhaps his own judgement might be unreasonable, since the causual Dominant friend has been respectful towards the submissive and any relationship boundaries.  These lines had not been pushed nor crossed.  Both the Dominant and submissive talk about any possible minor jealously issues that could be at work.   In the mean time, the Dominant leaves it in his submissive partners hands as to the status of the friendship.  Doing so is giving and allowing the submissive partner to have responsibility in the D/s relationship itself.   Still the Dominant has a gut instinct feeling to wrestle with, and manages to set that gut instinct feeling to the side, for the sake of building trust in the relationship.

Interesting. So...in retrospect, do you feel this was more an exercise (intentional or not) between you and her, rather than about him at all?

It has come to feel a bit like it has been an excercise of sorts (yes).  I think like any relationship there are moments that test and try us a individuals and test our relationships themselves.  I do know that I feel that my judgement of another person was tested. But honestly, I understand where you are coming from.  Because in the development of a D/s relationship, there comes points in times where the Dominant party asserts authority and the question remains, will the submissive respect and obey the authority dynamic of the relationship itself regardless if judgement of the Dominant party is right or wrong.  Personally, I myself hate being wrong.  But still none the less.   It's development of trust in the authority dynamic of the D/s relationship itself. 
 
I'm actually amazed at the level of insight you actually have posted about regarding this matter.  In fact you are directly responding to the things I was fishing for in my OP.   You understand this this thread was not about making a post for the sake of entertaining people with Saturday morning drama.  You read and comprehend things extremely well.  Thank you.

I mentioned right from the start it was "A growing and developing D/s relationship".  So yes this has, in the end, felt like a bit of a test.  At least in retrospect an issue that tests the D/s authority dynamic from both sides.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

Life goes on, however the Dominant notices her causual Dominant friend has unjustly disrepecting another person (a pattern of disrespectful behavior is painfully apparent),  then in a matter of days perhaps a week at best, is when "All Hell breaks loose" when the causual friend intentionally attacks, provokes and disrespecting the Dominant party of the relationship.

As other have expressed, this is also disrespectful towards the submissive partner. 

Personally, I myself have a similar view as kyraofMists posted. "someone's character is such that they are going to be disrespectful to the other members of our family, then they are not someone he will allow to be around us for very long "

I myself have a certain code of coduct and ethics in such matters, that it applies equally to both myself and my partner.  Hence why the OP even goes to far to apply the same situation from different angles. 

Personally, it's very seldom where I feel the need to step in and ask for somebody to discontinue a friendship.

No one likes to be 'that guy'. Ultimatums have a bad taste, even when they are in the best interest of the relationship. The important part, as I think we're seeing here, is whether the sub/slave happily understands and supports her Dom's decision, trusting he is not just giving in to knee-jerk reactions of jealousy, but is coming from a place of thoughtful appraisal about how healthy having X person in their lives will be.

Again, thank you.  I actually don't like being "that guy",  however when push comes to shove that's another matter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

It has come to feel a bit like it has been an excercise of sorts (yes).  I think like any relationship there are moments that test and try us a individuals and test our relationships themselves.  I do know that I feel that my judgement of another person was tested. But honestly, I understand where you are coming from.  Because in the development of a D/s relationship, there comes points in times where the Dominant party asserts authority and the question remains, will the submissive respect and obey the authority dynamic of the relationship itself regardless if judgement of the Dominant party is right or wrong.  Personally, I myself hate being wrong.  But still none the less.   It's development of trust in the authority dynamic of the D/s relationship itself. 
 
I'm actually amazed at the level of insight you actually have posted about regarding this matter.  In fact you are directly responding to the things I was fishing for in my OP.   You understand this this thread was not about making a post for the sake of entertaining people with Saturday morning drama.  You read and comprehend things extremely well.  Thank you.

I mentioned right from the start it was "A growing and developing D/s relationship".  So yes this has, in the end, felt like a bit of a test.  At least in retrospect an issue that tests the D/s authority dynamic from both sides.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2
The issue is about respect.  Respect for other people, and respect for other peoples relationships.  One does not have to try to steal a partner away to be disrespectful you know. :-P

No... but it is probably the most common motive and a likely explanation for the other individual's behavior.  The other likely possibility is that this individual just wants to irritate you... its a matter of revenge.  Whatever the motive, it'll be revealed in the specific nature of his actions.

quote:

I will not be friends with anyone who disrespects the man I love or our relationship.  End of story.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
I would want to know why the fuck the submissive was still friends with the jerk far more than wondering whether to tell her to not have contact with him. 

quote:

Now, out of the blue her causual friend who is also a male Dominant, and is aware of the relationship.  Goes out of his way to intentionally provoke and disrespect her Dominant partner. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

That's nice to know, but it's often not the case here.  All too often these forums are used as a means of usurping or abrogating control by comparison to popular opinion.  Popular opinion is irrelevant except as an interesting aside.
 
John

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile2

Dare I admit it.  I have pondered the thought that he knowingly provoked me inorder to the D/s relationship to be tested.  Knowing that perhaps I would bring this issue to attention and take some course of action with my girl.   After all he has been very respectful towards her and made it a point to be intentionally not respectful towards me.