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Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 9:34:41 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

I would like to get some comments from the BDSM population
here at CM, so here goes.
I am meeting someone from CollarMe, soon!

A potential submissive if all goes right.
We have exchanged photo's, been chatting basically everyday online,
telephone, and emails for almost 3 months.
He lives about a 13 hour drive from me.
We are planning to meet over the Christmas holidays.
I am planning to fly to meet him on a fairly inexpensive flight, since he lives
near a major city, so that is not a problem.
I don't want to stay at his place, so I am planning on staying in a hotel.
He has been joking about sleeping on the floor and I was talking about separate beds.
After giving this more thought, I am now thinking we need separate rooms.
This is after all, our very first face to face meet.
It is going to cost both of us more than I would like, but deep down I think it is the right thing.
Both of us have our own place, but again I feel more comfortable about it going this way.

Question.
When you meet someone for the first time, and you live a considerable distance from each other,where do you stay?
I know all about "safe calls" and that could be an option, but I am talking about getting to know someone in person well, prior to playing, when distance IS an issue, and you won't be in a position to see each other every weekend.

Being 12-13 hours away, I doubt we will ever see each other every weekend, unless one of us moves.
That would be something to think about a LONG time from now.
We are hoping if all works out, in the future seeing each other at least once a month.
And the NEXT visit would be in the same room.

Deep down, part of me wants to know how many of you sluts meet and play on the first meet!!!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 11/22/2008 9:36:13 AM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

Post #: 1

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 9:55:20 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Just depends. Some people I'll share a bed with right away, some I never will, some I want to meet more casually.

How many meet and play on first meets? I'd say 70%

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 2

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 9:56:35 AM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

My first meet I typically never play. I want to get to know the person. But understand your delemia of being 13 hours away.

I always get a hotel room. Most hotels allow you to cancel by 6pm with no penalty if you decide his/her place is fine. A hotel room with double beds. And with the understanding she is free to spend the night if she chooses or can leave any time she wants. All I ask is she keep me tied up all night if she speeds the night. LOL I am greedy that way.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 3

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:00:23 AM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

Only once did I not share a room...I like meet and beats..hahahaha

What really matters is how you feel/think about it and what you...want to do.

Am happy for ya....just enjoy your trip and time with him, above all...

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 4

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:01:32 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I stay at their house, if they have a house we can stay at if not we get a hotel and split the cost. I feel I didn't come all this way to sit alone at a hotel waiting for him to come over. I have met and played on the first meet if it felt right , and I'd do it again. I have absolutely no problem with first meet plays, or playing shortly after a first meet. Infact I kind of feel like it helps me make a good judgment of them, Because if they don't do it for me sexually , or their style of play is to far different than mine, there's no point in continueing on, since I want a full complete relationship an that includes a good sex life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Question.
When you meet someone for the first time, and you live a considerable distance from each other,where do you stay?
Deep down, part of me wants to know how many of you sluts meet and play on the first meet!!!

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 5

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:03:57 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Just depends. Some people I'll share a bed with right away, some I never will, some I want to meet more casually.

How many meet and play on first meets? I'd say 70%

Thanks LA, I really considered it.
But, I really NEED to observe him, his habits, etc.
Without "play" getting in the way.
I think many of us know that instant "play" or "sex" can create an artifical relationship,
in which it can take much longer to get to know "the real person".
I don't think it will kill us to wait until we meet again, though I will have to spank him
before I leave for the airport. {but that's all, really!!!}

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:07:41 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

My first meet I typically never play. I want to get to know the person. But understand your delemia of being 13 hours away.

I always get a hotel room. Most hotels allow you to cancel by 6pm with no penalty if you decide his/her place is fine. A hotel room with double beds. And with the understanding she is free to spend the night if she chooses or can leave any time she wants. All I ask is she keep me tied up all night if she speeds the night. LOL I am greedy that way.

I am so glad I asked this question!
Gosh you all are wonderful, I adore you perverts!
We could get double beds and I could tie him down or handcuff him to
the bedpost, and sleep in peace!
That would save us money!!!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 7

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:09:35 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I stay at their house, if they have a house we can stay at if not we get a hotel and split the cost. I feel I didn't come all this way to sit alone at a hotel waiting for him to come over. I have met and played on the first meet if it felt right , and I'd do it again. I have absolutely no problem with first meet plays, or playing shortly after a first meet. Infact I kind of feel like it helps me make a good judgment of them, Because if they don't do it for me sexually , or their style of play is to far different than mine, there's no point in continueing on, since I want a full complete relationship an that includes a good sex life.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Question.
When you meet someone for the first time, and you live a considerable distance from each other,where do you stay?
Deep down, part of me wants to know how many of you sluts meet and play on the first meet!!!

lol, you are a little stinker.
I am trying to be strong here!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 8

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:12:05 AM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I am so glad I asked this question!
Gosh you all are wonderful, I adore you perverts!
We could get double beds and I could tie him down or handcuff him to
the bedpost, and sleep in peace!
That would save us money!!!

You could try wrapping him up in saran wrap and duct tape. That works well too :)

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 9

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:13:29 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Meets that involve such a long distance do cause conflicting thought processes. I don't think there's any universally correct way to play things out.

I may have a visit from a CMer from over 10 driving hours away in January and mutual thought seems geared towards her staying here.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 10

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:13:47 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Grinning cheekily, why thank you

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I stay at their house, if they have a house we can stay at if not we get a hotel and split the cost. I feel I didn't come all this way to sit alone at a hotel waiting for him to come over. I have met and played on the first meet if it felt right , and I'd do it again. I have absolutely no problem with first meet plays, or playing shortly after a first meet. Infact I kind of feel like it helps me make a good judgment of them, Because if they don't do it for me sexually , or their style of play is to far different than mine, there's no point in continueing on, since I want a full complete relationship an that includes a good sex life.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Question.
When you meet someone for the first time, and you live a considerable distance from each other,where do you stay?
Deep down, part of me wants to know how many of you sluts meet and play on the first meet!!!

lol, you are a little stinker.
I am trying to be strong here!

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 11

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:14:14 AM

MsAlaria

Posts: 31
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: Richmond, VA
Status: offline

Most of the LDR's I've been involved in have started local then become long distance so where to meet/sleep wasn't really an issue for me.

I did meet someone that I had been talking to for more than a year and had no problem staying in the same room with him. (I drove 10 hours after he had flown 2500 miles). It's all about your own comfort level and safety. If you feel comfortable and safe with them in the same room all night, then go for it. If not, then they get their own room. If you're in the same hotel, its not like you're having to wait for them to get up, get ready, drive to where you are. They are just a few minutes down the hall.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 12

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:15:18 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

When you meet someone for the first time, and you live a considerable distance from each other,where do you stay?

If i am travelling to them i usually stay at their place. Although as you all know that recently didn't end too well for me lol. If they are travelling to me a local hotel as i live on my work premises and it makes my private life not so private.

[qute] Deep down, part of me wants to know how many of you sluts meet and play on the first meet!!!

As a rule yes i play on a first meet. However not recently, maybe because i've gone through a spate of meeting people and playing with them all would just make me a slut right ?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 13

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:17:56 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

If you don't feel you can trust him to leave you alone all night on your order alone, without cuffing him to his bed, then why would you want to be in the same room at all?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 14

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:18:32 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I am so glad I asked this question!
Gosh you all are wonderful, I adore you perverts!
We could get double beds and I could tie him down or handcuff him to
the bedpost, and sleep in peace!
That would save us money!!!

You could try wrapping him up in saran wrap and duct tape. That works well too :)

lol, that's true.
Why am I thinking we are getting close to playing now?
Let me see how much another room will cost.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to mummyman321)

Post #: 15

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:19:51 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

After giving this more thought, I am now thinking we need separate rooms.

Out of curiosity...how is this logical at all (at least financially)?
If you are determined to have a hotel room, why not find one close to where he lives and then have separation available at your own discretion?

Or why not spend the first evening together before booking a hotel to see if chemistry dictates a different path to take?

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 16

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:20:27 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

If you don't feel you can trust him to leave you alone all night on your order alone, without cuffing him to his bed, then why would you want to be in the same room at all?

Cali

Actually, I do trust him.
I don't trust myself.....all the way.

Actually I think ropes are better.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 17

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:20:52 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

If you don't feel you can trust him to leave you alone all night on your order alone, without cuffing him to his bed, then why would you want to be in the same room at all?

Cali

25 points.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 18

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:22:17 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I generally dont do LDR's. reason being is my dilemma of a meeting. If I go meet someone and things dont work out, I'm kind of stuck. I was once offered an all expense paid flight to toronto to play with someone. But I decided against it because the last thing I wanted was to be stranded in a foreign country. I did drive a few hours about a year ago to meet and stay in the same room as a friend I had never met in person. We had been talking for 2 years and he had just broke up with a bipolar nutcase sub and needed a friend. We met half way and shared a hotel room and a bed. After the first hug i knew nothing was going to happen as he was not in a mental state. But we easily slept in the same bed and had a good time as friends and I was glad for the time we shared and how I could emotionally be there for a friend. The friendship had developed over time through chat and e-mail and I had no fear of him and knew it wasnt a love connection ahead of time.

_____________________________

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Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MsAlaria)

Post #: 19

RE: Potential long distant BDSM partner/first meet - 11/22/2008 10:22:38 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
...........Deep down, part of me wants to know how many of you sluts meet and play on the first meet!!!

On first meet, I have had a kneeling slave kiss my feet in the airport terminal and I have fucked in the airport parking garage. Personally, I wouldn’t have someone fly in if we weren’t gonna’ fuck & play.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 20

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