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Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:16:06 AM   
femmetasia


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline 		i confess, i don't really have a bratty bone in my body.  i take pride in my obedience and i don't give my Dom much cause for correction/instruction, much less punishment.  Making His life as trouble free within my power as possible is paramount to me.

Sometimes i wonder if the way we glide along so effortlessly is entirely good.  There is no "thrill of the chase" with me, cos i am already His.  No "punishment" because i am so well behaved. 

OK, finally found the question that i was wanting to ask; does a sub/slave's unwavering obedience make her/him a tad boring in her/his predictability? 

Truthfully i've considered bratty behaviour to get attention, but it is so not me. 

OMG, sending this before i lose my courage. 

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:19:24 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		After carefully considering how best to answer this, and speaking as a dominant who is quite particular about whom he collars, I think the following sums up my thoughts nicely.

Do you have any sisters? 

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:32:18 AM   
femmetasia


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline 		lol Pradriag, on the surface it doesn't seem like a conundrum at all but the question remains...and the answer is...i'm hiding my sisters!

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:36:09 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

OK, finally found the question that i was wanting to ask; does a sub/slave's unwavering obedience make her/him a tad boring in her/his predictability?

Anyone who finds people boring is probably not paying attention.

You and he will find challenge enough in the world without there being challenge between each other.

You are who you are.  Take pride in who you are, take comfort in knowing who you are, and enjoy the relationship that you have.

(Which is an inordinate amount of words to say "You worry too much!")


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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:36:50 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Only your own Master can answer that question.  Some no longer want the chase; they are most pleased when things go as smoothly as possible.  Others will want a chance to punish from time to time.  Talk with him about it and see what he says.


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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:40:59 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

OK, finally found the question that i was wanting to ask; does a sub/slave's unwavering obedience make her/him a tad boring in her/his predictability? 


It really depends upon the dynamic of the relationship.  In some relationships, play time is determined by the Dominant, and you could pretend to be bratty or whatever at his instruction.  In other relationships, play time is determined by the submissive, who acts bratty and the Dominant choses to play along or not.
 
But in general, there's no point in "training" someone who isn't capable of learning.  So a lack of punishment pretty much means that you're fulfilling his wishes for you.  Evidently Padriag values that trait, and for the record I do as well.
 
Believe me, if we want some of the "thrill of the chase", or brattiness (ugh), or a reason to "punish" you (as mutual role play), it's not a big problem.  We just do it.
 
John
 
P.S. - Do you have two sisters?

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:46:40 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		What... ya don't trust me?  Damn... smarter than I thought.

Okay, on a more serious note... obedience does not equate with boring.  What makes a slave interesting to me starts with who she is as a person.  What qualities and traits she has, what hobbies, skills, and interests that make her intriguing.  After that come whatever interests, activities, etc. we share.  Those things make her and a relationship with her interesting.

Well that and really great blow jobs.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:53:32 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		If you're well-behaved and exactly what he requires.........then he is possibly satisfied.

Does he prefer the thrill of the chase ? Would he like the opportunity to punish you? Do you feel you lack attention and think that being bratty is the only way to get it in your situation?

Having attention paid to you doesn't have to come from behaving hideously. In my experience it comes from being interesting to the person sat opposite. Do you think you're not very interesting because you're obedient?

It's a case of horses for courses. Looks like Padraig wouldn't complain too loudly.....lol

I asked more questions than you did....sorry about that ...lol

agirl



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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 7:54:23 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Okay, on a more serious note... obedience does not equate with boring. 


This is an important point for those of us who enjoy obedience.  It's rather like watching gymnastics.  Sure, it's exciting to watch someone on the balance beam who's a bit clumsy.  Waiting to see if they fall can be gripping.  But a perfect performance is enormously exciting as well, and never grows tiresome.  And while a few tumbles may provide exciting moments, after a few performances you start to think... "she sucks, why is she even up there?"
 
John

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Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 8:20:48 AM   
femmetasia


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline 		@ celticlord, You and he will find challenge enough in the world without there being challenge between each other. beautifully said and it hit home, thanks.  i hate to pick out one comment, cos i appreciate them all and am so glad i asked.

@ Rover, felt a bit of pride reading that...i'm no Nadia, but i aspire.

Still keeping a close eye on my sisters Padriag, don't try to confuse me with your 'serious' replies! 





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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 8:27:23 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia



Truthfully i've considered bratty behaviour to get attention, but it is so not me. 






My question is: are you wanting or needing more attention or interaction?

Do you want the physical or mental aspects of the presence of discipline within the context of your relationship?

Are you soley afraid he will get bored or is it perhaps also that you would like more contact?

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 8:27:53 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Actually I will say plenty of doms and subs will find you unnatural and weird and not a good fit at all.

Oh well.  Be yourself and enjoy what works for you- if you can imagine it, there are people doing it and enjoying it- including boring obedience!

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 8:39:05 AM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: femmetasia

i confess, i don't really have a bratty bone in my body.  i take pride in my obedience and i don't give my Dom much cause for correction/instruction, much less punishment.  Making His life as trouble free within my power as possible is paramount to me.

Sometimes i wonder if the way we glide along so effortlessly is entirely good.  There is no "thrill of the chase" with me, cos i am already His.  No "punishment" because i am so well behaved. 





Hello femmetasia. Tease! 
There is a golden rule in any relationship, if it aint broke dont fix it. RL.

PS: A lot of women do not realize that the thrill of the chase is only gone because you have been caught! Don't confuse
    daily life with play. You can chase all you want in play.


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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 8:39:24 AM   
femmetasia


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline 		unnatural and weird, i hope so. 

really good questions anjelikaJ, funny how a question can be answered with a question.  Thanks

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 8:54:51 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I echo the sentiments of Padriag.

quote:

There is no "thrill of the chase" with me, cos i am already His.

To me, the dynamic of domination and submission is not one built out of tension and molding. I cannot imagine that stagnation would be a necessary product of a symbiosis that is as smooth as you describe. I personally do not find anything arousing or interesting about the 'chase' courtship process (which doesn't mean that long emotionally delving talks aren't a good thing). And...it would seem to me the point of a D/s or M/s dynamic, from the s-type's side, is intended to show the D-type that you are his. If there is some playful allure to some frisky 'tug-of-war' play, that is an entirely different issue that you both can still contentedly discover on your own.

quote:

No "punishment" because i am so well behaved.

Perhaps my view is different from the majority, but I don't know that any Dom ever wants to punish his sub/slave (for punishment's sake alone). Again, though, I think there is a mistaken mixing of ideas between 'play' punishment and actual punishment.

quote:

does a sub/slave's unwavering obedience make her/him a tad boring in her/his predictability? 

Absolutely not.

Where does this silly notion that a submissive's personality must be hogtied to their 'feistiness' come from?


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"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 9:42:30 AM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		I hate a bratty slave.  I want to pilot a Ferrari, not manhandle a broken down chevy with a loose steering wheel.

I don't do punishment spanking.   If I truly wanted to punish a submissive, I might require her to push her limits, or to abstain from her favorite food. 

But I like to spank.   There are many different kinds of spankings.  I use it as part of role-playing.  I use it as a non-verbal communication (When I spank you, get me a drink.) There is even something called a 'maintance' spanking - done just because it's Sunday.

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 10:36:39 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
Where does this silly notion that a submissive's personality must be hogtied to their 'feistiness' come from?

A) From most subs who can't relax and be secure in their submission, so they have to be forced in order to enjoy it and are terrified of being a doormat, so they fight against it and make "feistiness" into a valued trait

B) From doms who have no clue how to handle someone who is ACTUALLY capable and strong and smart and cannot establish a stable and secure platform of Ds

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 12:12:08 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Sometimes i wonder if the way we glide along so effortlessly is entirely good.  There is no "thrill of the chase" with me, cos i am already His.  No "punishment" because i am so well behaved. 



YOU HAVE NO IDEA how grateful I am that YOU asked that question! I feel the same way. AND I was wondering about all of that. I am a "good" submissive too. I just wondered about the same thing. Thanks to all who made us feel better!!!!

Dreamer

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I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 1:11:57 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Welcome...

... now gimme your sisters!

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Too obedient? - 11/23/2008 1:19:15 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

OK, finally found the question that i was wanting to ask; does a sub/slave's unwavering obedience make her/him a tad boring in her/his predictability?
Au contraire femmetasia.  
What is boring is dealing with brattyness, passive aggressiveness, and resentfullness instead of honest, open communication where the sub/slave says "would you please consider doing a, b, or c to me sometime because I enjoy it and it would make me feel like you care a lot more?   I would prefer non brat who asks/begs for desired play, rather than one who misbehaves to get a rise out of me, as it usually has the effect of making me want to move away from the person behaving poorly.    M


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The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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