Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Service Oriented Submissive


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Service Oriented Submissive Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:19:19 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Yes and no... I think it would be more accurate to say that some of these Dommes/Mistresses are looking for submissives that are strongly service oriented and have a weak pleasure/sexual orientation (or else that need is being met elsewhere).

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:19:48 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I must say, my eyebrows just shot up about 2 inches.....never mind the snort laugh that escaped.

KoM, a gentleman.......who knew!!



see perse... here is someone that had me in a box and now she has a better appreciation of who I am  *w*..,. however... I am thinking the gentleman box is not one of them  lol

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:21:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Erin, from what I have seen, many do. I am probably different than most in that I really prefer the all purpose model. Now, if I ever changed my mind about a male slave, the terminology might change for me also.

I think you are close to one of the biggest differences between male dominated relationships and female dominated.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:25:07 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Fast Reply~

I've often seen Dommes state that they are looking for service oriented submissives. Many of them further define that as someone who is not looking to have their sexual fantasies fulfilled. Do dommes use this term differently???


No... I don't think so.....   I consider these differences more a product of the horny net geeks being more more of the male variety than female.  But.... when your out in the munch etc.... I haven't found the worlds of male or female Dominants to be all that different.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:38:21 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Erin, from what I have seen, many do. I am probably different than most in that I really prefer the all purpose model. Now, if I ever changed my mind about a male slave, the terminology might change for me also.

I think you are close to one of the biggest differences between male dominated relationships and female dominated.


I prefer the all purpose model as well, just one that leans to the service side more. This isn't a guarantee but I look for a female that has voluntary work listed on their profile.

Also, liking a task doesn't negate the fact that a female gets up and does it when needed. I've seen some who never have to be asked, it's just their nature to offer. Anyone who is willing to give of herself and her time to help others is a prize to me.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:43:46 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Fast Reply~

I've often seen Dommes state that they are looking for service oriented submissives. Many of them further define that as someone who is not looking to have their sexual fantasies fulfilled. Do dommes use this term differently???


No... I don't think so.....   I consider these differences more a product of the horny net geeks being more more of the male variety than female.  But.... when your out in the munch etc.... I haven't found the worlds of male or female Dominants to be all that different.


LaT...
Out in social gatherings...beit a munch or just hanging out in the lounge at the dungeon, i dont see much difference in what i might to in service to the dom im with and what the sub of a domme would be doing. But in conversation with dommes in my area i overwhelmingly hear this complaint....that the service is fine,but when it comes time for a scene, "once he comes, the quality of his submission changes"...even inperceptively. And that is a distinct difference in service that i have noted to myself.
Whatever my role is in the situation, its not reliant on whether my sexual needs have been met or will be in the future. If im there in submission, the quality of my actions dont really change. i dont step out of the submission and put on some other hat. But i do see this in some submissive men. Like a switch was flipped somehow.
So to combat this phenomenon, they focus in on those type of statements in hopes of finding a male submissive whose intentions or motive behind their submission is more pure or honest....i may not be being exactly clear in expressing this....if not, i apologise.

perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:45:57 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Just to make it easier to understand some of the serious posts, I'm wondering how many responders here either are in or have been in a Service Oriented sub/slave relationship as either a sub/slave or Dominant.... In other words how many are actually posting from personal experience and not just theory.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:47:42 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Anyone who is willing to give of herself and her time to help others is a prize to me.


That's very close to what Sir said to me the other night after the party. I have to wonder though, would it be a negative thing to some dominants to see their submissive "serving" another dominant? I can see where some may say that I was technically "serving" my hostess friends dominant by doing what needed to be done in his home. I can almost hear some saying things like "I don't serve any dominant but my own" or "My girl is not allowed to serve any other dominants". I didn't see myself as being "in service" to him in any way, nor do I feel that when I am helping out others that I am "in service" to them....but I can see where others might.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:48:55 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Just to make it easier to understand some of the serious posts, I'm wondering how many responders here either are in or have been in a Service Oriented sub/slave relationship as either a sub/slave or Dominant.... In other words how many are actually posting from personal experience and not just theory.

Posting from experience.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:50:38 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Just to make it easier to understand some of the serious posts, I'm wondering how many responders here either are in or have been in a Service Oriented sub/slave relationship as either a sub/slave or Dominant.... In other words how many are actually posting from personal experience and not just theory.


My Alandra is has a service orientation. she's been with me for just alittle bit....so I suppose I am speaking from personal experience with her.... and just theory about everyone else.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:50:42 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Just to make it easier to understand some of the serious posts, I'm wondering how many responders here either are in or have been in a Service Oriented sub/slave relationship as either a sub/slave or Dominant.... In other words how many are actually posting from personal experience and not just theory.


Greetings IronBear,
I have never specifically referred to myself as a service oriented sub...but I've certainly taken a lot of pleasure from providing all of the services. So not sure what that makes me...

Funny thing that I have just thought of....on applications or at job interviews I have often said that I have a "service spirit".

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:50:54 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Just to make it easier to understand some of the serious posts, I'm wondering how many responders here either are in or have been in a Service Oriented sub/slave relationship as either a sub/slave or Dominant.... In other words how many are actually posting from personal experience and not just theory.


Personal experience, but not alot of exposure to other's personal dynamics. I live a fairly secluded life outside of work and family.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:54:04 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Anyone who is willing to give of herself and her time to help others is a prize to me.


That's very close to what Sir said to me the other night after the party. I have to wonder though, would it be a negative thing to some dominants to see their submissive "serving" another dominant? I can see where some may say that I was technically "serving" my hostess friends dominant by doing what needed to be done in his home. I can almost hear some saying things like "I don't serve any dominant but my own" or "My girl is not allowed to serve any other dominants". I didn't see myself as being "in service" to him in any way, nor do I feel that when I am helping out others that I am "in service" to them....but I can see where others might.

Depends on the situation. In a party atmosphere and if I knew the Dominant, I wouldn't have a problem with it.Helping out in general is always okay with me. Although I can be a little stingy with my female at times lol


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:56:12 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Just to make it easier to understand some of the serious posts, I'm wondering how many responders here either are in or have been in a Service Oriented sub/slave relationship as either a sub/slave or Dominant.... In other words how many are actually posting from personal experience and not just theory.


Greetings IronBear,
I have never specifically referred to myself as a service oriented sub...but I've certainly taken a lot of pleasure from providing all of the services. So not sure what that makes me...

Funny thing that I have just thought of....on applications or at job interviews I have often said that I have a "service spirit".

It's okay, I swear you'll be able to get out of that box anytime you want, once you step in there.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:57:59 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I have seen Service Oriented Submissive's wearing their Maid outfit at Lifestyle Clubs and Conferences. It definitely stands out against everyone else's fetish wear.

_____________________________

www.starhillcreations.com

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:59:23 AM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		I am repeating that this has been a informative strand of posts.

I identify as service submissive (and other names) because it is actually erotic for me to service my Dom in any way he pleases. So I don't know how that fits in service orientation. It isn't every act of service, but when I am doing something specific for the Dom then it is.

My confusion is the reward system that I keep hearing. That internal rewards are all a service oriented submissive needs. I guess I find this hard ot agree with, because I have found when I gave and gave with no notice or praise it then I loose that passion. To me it seems there needs to be some kind of "Good girl" or reward for it.



_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 9:59:29 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Oh wow...if I do step in the box do I have to wear one of those?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to ElectraGlide)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 10:00:19 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I can almost hear some saying things like "I don't serve any dominant but my own" or "My girl is not allowed to serve any other dominants". I didn't see myself as being "in service" to him in any way, nor do I feel that when I am helping out others that I am "in service" to them....but I can see where others might.


I could never understand this kind of crap.  Often times it's said in a demeaning or belittling way.  Frankly... If my girls are doing something for another... they are doing either because I told them... or they requested and I gave permission.  I have been know to be very generous with my girls talents!!!  all of their talents!  Many are not so generous for a variety or reasons....  I do it for internal gratifications for myself and my girls.. what others think is rather irrelevant.  I would hope that why people are not so generous is because of the internal reasons within the relationship and not to impress some false image on others.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 10:02:41 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Oh wow...if I do step in the box do I have to wear one of those?

There are no victims here...only volunteers.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Service Oriented Submissive - 11/25/2008 10:03:23 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Oh wow...if I do step in the box do I have to wear one of those?

There are no victims here...only volunteers.



Touche!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Service Oriented Submissive Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109