RE: Vulnerable Dominants

RE: Vulnerable Dominants (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

persephonee -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:08:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus If anyone has directions for the construction and maintenance of the Dominant Force Shield, let me know, mmmmkay? I will totally give you the credit. Again, i was thinking that i had chosen the wrong side of the kneel when i signed up that day at the courthouse...you dom/mes get all the cool gadgets....

Rover -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:10:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross One should not take offense at someone choosing not to be vulnerable or open or soft with them- but lying and covering up due to fear, that's a real relationship killer, no matter what form it takes. Is this what you're hinting at, Padriag? The fantasy stereotype of a Dominant as uncaring, emotionless, unable to be hurt because they never allow their true selves to be known? I do see a bit of that out there amongst newer folk (of all ages). But it doesn't seem to last very long. John

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:11:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus If anyone has directions for the construction and maintenance of the Dominant Force Shield, let me know, mmmmkay? I will totally give you the credit. Again, i was thinking that i had chosen the wrong side of the kneel when i signed up that day at the courthouse...you dom/mes get all the cool gadgets.... I didn't say I had one that WORKED!! I want to learn to be cold, mean, distant, and not needing of love or affection. Oh, and I want to be a user! I meet all kinds of men like that, and the women like that seem to get all the guys... so there must be something to it. Too-Vulnerable Hib

celticlord2112 -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:12:29 PM)
quote: Some seem to want to see the dominant "bleed". Not so sure it's that so much as wanting the dominant to acknowledge that, when pricked, he will in fact bleed.

LaTigresse -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:14:45 PM)
For me it's not the vulnerability that is as important as how I handle myself when it's exposed. As an example, someone does something that is very hurtful to me. I can choose to strike out and cause more harm, or sit down and cry "ohhhhh wooooe is meeee!" OR, I can use the brain I was given, and handle it in a calm, constructive, adult manner. It becomes not the vulnerability that is the issue, but how I cope with it.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:16:35 PM)
I don't think it has anything to do with being Dominant. I feel that, as each of us mature emotionally and spiritually, we come to find that what others think doesn't mean a hill of beans when dealing with our destiny. Thus, being authentic and vulnerable are a natural consequence of said maturity, in my opinion. For example, I put a lot of myself into my book. I speak of my issues plainly and openly. Many have appreciated it, misspellings and all. Others have declared I'm weak, unknowledgeable and they, "wouldn't recommend [my] book to [their] cat." Well, I gave each of my cats a copy of my book and they both enjoyed it a great deal. Apparently, the slick cover and wide pages are lovely to sleep on! ;-) Yes, I paid attention to what people had to say...and I struggled with the idea of writing it simply because I worried about what people would say. In the end though, a ritual showed me that I was letting others dictate my destiny and that's not what my spirit it about. So, I matured another step and wrote it anyway. I speak openly a great deal about my life in general in my LJ, too. Mostly, I do it to share with people so they see that a Master is a real person...and to share about my bipolar so they see that we CAN function, and do it fairly well, on a day-to-day basis. Being transparent is important to me in order to, perhaps, help others. Master Fire

NuevaVida -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:17:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse For me it's not the vulnerability that is as important as how I handle myself when it's exposed. Brilliant.

Padriag -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:20:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross One should not take offense at someone choosing not to be vulnerable or open or soft with them- but lying and covering up due to fear, that's a real relationship killer, no matter what form it takes. Is this what you're hinting at, Padriag? The fantasy stereotype of a Dominant as uncaring, emotionless, unable to be hurt because they never allow their true selves to be known? I do see a bit of that out there amongst newer folk (of all ages). But it doesn't seem to last very long. John Nope... not hinting at anything at all. I'm asking exactly what I asked... just curious what the concept means to different people. Simple as that really. There are no right or wrong answers, so long as they are personal perspectives.

persephonee -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:22:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus If anyone has directions for the construction and maintenance of the Dominant Force Shield, let me know, mmmmkay? I will totally give you the credit. Again, i was thinking that i had chosen the wrong side of the kneel when i signed up that day at the courthouse...you dom/mes get all the cool gadgets.... I didn't say I had one that WORKED!! I want to learn to be cold, mean, distant, and not needing of love or affection. Oh, and I want to be a user! I meet all kinds of men like that, and the women like that seem to get all the guys... so there must be something to it. Too-Vulnerable Hib Psst..LadyH....you dont have to actually use them...you just need to use the right words while youre doing it...but dont tell...they get mad when i tell secrets.

VAcontroldom -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:24:46 PM)
I feel you are most powerful when you don't exert your full influence and instead lead people where you want them. Similarly, I think pretending you are not vulnerable would be the sign of an insecure dominant. Someone comfortable with themselves should be able to show their whole self and know it will continue to inspire confidence in them and obedience towards them.

sheisreeds -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:25:47 PM)
For me it has to come out in play, in tone of voice and communication without violating role. It also takes two, I need to give a little too. It's that moment in a scene where they expose an absolute adoration, while still being absolutely violent. It's in the grumbling when they're having a bad day. To me it's all in countenance and it tells me that I am fulfilling a need. It is really important. I don't like it when dom's coo at kittens. I like sadists for a reason, cause they're so damn mean. It is the most fulfilling thing when I get to be at the receiving end of an expression of care.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:28:13 PM)
Wow, didn't realize you couldn't be a mean bastard AND kind to kittens...there goes my sadist button.

LaTigresse -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:30:17 PM)
Mine also, I am even mushy with puppies and horses. The horror, the shame..........

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:34:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Mine also, I am even mushy with puppies and horses. The horror, the shame.......... How do you think I feel, with my guinea pigs? [:o]

Icarys -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:34:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Mine also, I am even mushy with puppies and horses. The horror, the shame.......... I know right...I just got a pound puppy and at night I snuggle up to him with him in my arms all night. Ahhhh aint I the cutest.

marie2 -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:35:14 PM)
I think everyone has certain vulnerabilities, some more than others, whether they identify as dominant or not. Personally, I think it's good to know that the person who is dominating me is human in that regard, however, vulnerability isn't something I'd want to see in excess in my dom.

LadyPact -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:37:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Wow, didn't realize you couldn't be a mean bastard AND kind to kittens...there goes my sadist button. Mine, too. Maybe the kittens can play with the toys I used to use to hurt people.

gypsygrl -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:38:31 PM)
quote: I like sadists for a reason, cause they're so damn mean. Sir's sadistic enough, and very much wants to hurt me but he's not mean. I can't do mean right now. Not even a little bit. Too many years of living with mean...I decided to take a break from that. Sir can be very mushy in a wierd 1970's way that made me really uncomfortable at first cause I'm not used to it. Of the two of us, I'm probably the more hard boiled. Some times I worry about hurting him because I can be callous and insensitive so the whole thing encourages me to soften up a bit and pay attention.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:38:36 PM)
Showing vulnerability is not showing weakness, It's showing great strength. Any person can act like a robot with no emotion or vulnerability. But true courage comes from having the guts to show human emotion and even frailty.

NuevaVida -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (11/30/2008 7:39:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Wow, didn't realize you couldn't be a mean bastard AND kind to kittens...there goes my sadist button. Mine, too. Maybe the kittens can play with the toys I used to use to hurt people. Just a few weeks ago my cat came strutting out of my bedroom carrying a little titty whip in his mouth. I nearly died, lol.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

3.027344E-02