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MasterLark -> RE: Vulnerable Dominants (2/28/2009 6:32:33 AM)
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Sorry to resurrect a thread that started back in November and died down in December, but I am catching up to this topic and thought I'd chime in, after reading all the posts and generally agreeing with the points made by many. Since Padriag specifically sought a personal response, mine follows.
I bring many years to this experience and find my urge to go deeper never ends. As a Dominant who continues to explore the shapes and depths of his own sense of dominance and what I get out of expressing that in a relationship, I find that the more I understand control, responsibility, protection and other such feelings and thoughts, respective to myself and to her, the more I want to be concurrently vulnerable with my Dominance.
her submissiveness to me inspires a deep Dominance in me, even as it also enables a deeper vulnerability in me. her "permission" for me to be as Dominant as I wish and her surrender to me, comes with it a "permission" for me to also be more vulnerable with her. That surprises me that that happens. One might think that increased control closes off the vulnerability, but I find the opposite is true for me: the more fully Dominant I can be with her, the more vulnerable I can be with her. Very powerful stuff.
So sometimes I can be confused as to whether it is going to be accepted that I am in a period of vulnerability more than Dominance, but I know in myself that I must listen to myself and allow whichever needs more attention to surface. When I do that, I affirm both. And when I have been most vulnerable is when it follows that I then feel most Dominant afterward, not to make up for anything, but because there is a peace and centerness that makes me whole.
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