gypsygrl
Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005 From: new york state Status: offline
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A couple of thoughts. Some of what we do as citizens of the United States (my appologies to folks from other countries) is private because its protected by our constitutional rights to privacy. Alot of what we do isn't protected. Its only been recently that matters relvolving around sexuality have been protected. Not everything's protected. This is a legal question and not a question of discretion, taste, style, personality or any other subjective characteristic. This is an old argument and all the usual sides have been represented. Some 'get it' that the personal is political and some choices, particularly those revolving around sexuality and relationship style, for legal reasons, aren't private choices. They've already been made public matters by virtue of the fact that they can used in custody battles, etc... Do people ask, "what will my ex think?" when they buy a car? When they buy shoes? Those are private choices and can't be used against anyone. Certain behavior--even though its personal and conducted behind closed doors--is illegal and grounds for losing one's job. Certain behavior--even though its private and conducted behind closed doors--can be used in a custody battle. This bavior--given that its NOT protected by our constitutional right to privacy IS, legally, considered a public issue. Its not for any of us as individuals to decide whats private and whats public. Thats for the courts to decide. And the lawyers and the legislature. Hell, we don't even get to decide what sex is. Many who posted on this thread are ok with the way things are. These people are very comfortable with it. As near as I can figure, the community in general is comfortable with it. People are content with keeping things the way they are and hoping that their boss doesn't catch them or their ex's lawyer doesn't catch them. Because if they do get caught, they fear that they'll be in some kind of trouble. And, they're ok with that. Cause, like, ya know, its fucking personal. Crap. I couldn't do something if I thought it was going to cause me trouble. I have too much anxiety for that and it strikes me as being dysfunctional. I have way too much pride and self-respect to be made to sneak around (Of course, if my sir got off on sneaking around, I might...) There are some things that I do that are illegal but I do them openly, as a matter of civil disobedience and not a matter of sneaking around. If I get pulled into court because of this stuff (my ex has made some threats and I called his bluff so he backed off) I'm prepared to defend myself and my actions because I'm not ashamed of what I do. Of course there's things I do in the bedroom and no one needs to know about these things. But, thats because I'm shy and not an exhibitionist (Some people aren't shy and are exhibitionists, and thats ok!!!) rather than because I'm afraid of losing custody or my job. As for the argument about who thinks they're better than who and who's judging who...What the does that have to do with anything? Why would the op's judgements matter to anyone? Or, by extension, my own judgement because I could have easily written the op as I've felt the same way many times. If people were comfortable (for lack of a better word) they wouldn't care that they were being judged. Its not even a bad thing to be uncomfortable 'cause it means you care.
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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin
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