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RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 1:21:21 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Along with other more important attributes it has some importance. lets face it if I have a lass who is capable to snap heads around when she enters a room, it suits my male ego as it would with most males if they are honest to admit that it is a buzz. However I have no interest in a trophy girl. I can buy one in any capital city in the world but for what? An hour or so stroking my ego? My ego has no need these days of such shallowness. Come to think of it I would be far more physically attracted to a lass with a good athletic build and toned super fit body as can be found in women involved with special forces opperations that lets say Tyra Banks who is a walking hard on material. 

< Message edited by IronBear -- 12/8/2008 1:22:20 PM >

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(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 1:24:43 PM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline 		Physical attractiveness is very important to me. I can't play or be with someone I don't find physically attractive. However I have my own definitions on what I find attractive and it isn't the stereotypical Adonis-looking type. I like bearish guys. Furry with a hugable tummy. 

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 1:31:45 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		When I met my last dom I thought he was completely physically unattractive, but I ended up falling head over heels for him.   So I would have to say it isn't important in the long run.  

(in reply to parakeet89)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 1:32:44 PM   
flower2007


Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		It's not that important to me.  I don't find "hot" men attractive, and who he is as a person is A LOT more important that what he looks like.

(in reply to parakeet89)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 1:36:38 PM   
Christinestill


Posts: 1199
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline 		i've dated the adonis types and the less than adonis types...it's all good.  yes, i can look at a man walking down the street and gawk over his shoulders or ass or face, but at the end of the day, it is the personality, the humor, the realness, the man that he is that really attracts and keeps me.

_____________________________

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Learning to color outside the the lines a little more each day.

yes i'm pro-gun, i'm not about to sit around with a fucking rolling pin and hope for the best.


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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 1:46:15 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

Physical attractiveness is required for me to enjoy certain roles on film (either big screen or small). I have certain preferences, but as I've only actually had those preferences -fulfilled- once in my whole 30+ years of relationshipping, and yet have managed to have numerous extraordinary, wonderful, enjoyable relationships, I can't say that physical attractiveness is critical to me.

In terms of servitude/bottoming relationships -- It's a luxury. Would I take it if I could get exactly what I wanted... yeah, sure, as long as it was -all- of what I wanted... not just the body, but everything else being just right, too. If I had to choose between a perfectly -obedient- servant who was deliriously happy in service but completely butt-FUGLY, and a gorgeous servant who was annoying, disobedient, and manipulative... I'd take the obedient and butt-FUGLY servant every time... and there isn't a level of 'pretty' that someone could reach that would make me accept them as a companion, mate, servant, or pot-licker in my house if they were rude, thoughtlessly cruel, dishonest, ignorant, bigoted, closed-minded, or just plain unrepentantly stupid (not slow to learn... but truly "oh, what the hell" stupid).

On the other hand... I've had folks in my life who were perceived as brutally unattractive to the general populace, disfigured, scarred, etc., who have been incredibly wonderful forces in my life... and my few forays into romance came because of people who were -not- Adonis or Aphrodite... but who sparked some interest in me and who drew me into their lives and their worlds in ways that I didn't think I was capable of, transcending my own relative disdain for romance. Did their bodies matter -- yes, they did. I didn't cherish them in -spite- of what the world perceived as flaws... I cherished them in completeness... recognizing their differences and quirks, body, mind, and essence, as uniquely theirs, and without which they wouldn't be themselves.


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 3:52:43 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parakeet89

Well, so far most people seem to think that it's important.
I dont have a Dom yet but I've been talking to someone about it. I like them on a mental/emotional level, but I recently saw their picture and I'm just not attracted to him at all. I can't imagine having sex with him and I feel horrible and shallow about it. I wasn't sure if I was just a bad person.



I've been in the same situation more than once, so I guess we're both "bad people", lol   I think the majority of people feel as you/we do.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 4:32:11 PM   
KneelforAnne


Posts: 1011
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline 		~FR~

It has been my experience that I am initially attracted (in lust) with someone that I find physically attractive.

When those feelings go deeper....then the package doesn't matter so much.  Things like B.O. and bad breath matter...the size of his shoulders, or the hair style, not so much. 

I have also found out that (often) the more I am with someone the more attractive they get. 

Don't judge yet...reserve that for a face to face meeting. 

And remember what they say...aren't you supposed to give a guy 3 dates before you judge either way?  Don't judge on the first date...nerves and such! 

Hope this helps!

~a

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 5:35:20 PM   
RainydayNE


Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline 		alot of what i focus on ends up creating an inside-out sort of attraction.
there is something to be said for physical attractiveness, which really just amounts to certain traits that a person likes in certain arrangement =p but i find that i really am attracted to things other than that.
he caught my attention initially since he's an amalgamation of physical details that i love, and i think he's just RIDICULOUSLY attractive, but what cemented it were things like his attitude, the way he talks about all sorts of subjects, it absolutely turns me on when he uses ginormous words in casual conversation because he just KNOWS them, he's not doing it to show off. ^_^ that's wonderous.
"verisimilitude" hehehehehe :D

we're all attracted to the external, initially. you can't walk up to someone you don't know and know what they're like on the inside. something about them catches your eye, whether you like certain eye colors, noses, certain butts, certain whatevers.  physical attraction is important to a degree. but people who are worth knowing will try to get to know you.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 5:42:54 PM   
boytoyinatlanta


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		does it really matter if there is no sex and it's all about the pain?

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 5:54:03 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		~~fast reply~~

my first dominant had the screen name "quazimodo".  he was NOT beautiful.  i ended up in love with the beautiful mind in him.  he'll be gone 4 years in a week.  i still miss him.

TheEngineer says he's a troll.  i disagree.  yeti, yes.  troll, no.  and the first time we were together, i blinked and said to myself "kitten, girl, can you DEAL with all that hair??"  apparently the answer was yes 

there is more to a person than physical attractiveness.  gods know i know that, i'm not everyone's cup of tea myself.  i'm short and fat and closer to 46 than 45, and when i'm nekkid there are all sorts of indicators that i have lived life.  scars and stretch marks and tattoos.  but i'm not stupid, and i have a wicked sense of humor, and an exceedingly soft heart.  those make up for physical lacks....at least TheEngineer and Daddy think so. 

kitten

(in reply to boytoyinatlanta)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 6:31:52 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		It's funny.  When i met The TDHO, i just assumed that He, like most guys that dig me, was a bbw admirer.  That wasn't the case at all.  It's difficult understanding the attraction in some ways because as i've said to Him "When most guys i date look at me, i see the sort of 'light' in their eyes that some guys have looking at Beyonce"  With Him, because i didn't see that sort of intensity, it worried me that we had no chance of being anything other than friends.

The thing is, He calls me a "sexy slut" because of more than the physical.   He was able to overlook some set preferences and get to know me entirely.  Now i am not so delusional  as to think i have helped Him change into a chubby chaser.  But He likes being in charge of me...flaws and all.  And the physical response is always a bit surprising...i love that i can excite and please Him, because i realize it's more than just surface.

Sometimes, i hate the whole "you have such a pretty face " stuff i get from alot of people, Sir included, but i also need for Him to be honest.  i like when i catch Him peeping at my bewbage, or when He tells me He loves my lips...and other parts.  The compliments mean alot.  And knowing He appreciates me, inspires me to work harder in getting the other parts in shape.  Because i know He was willing to take me as i am, i want to become more like what He likes.  Acceptance is a heady aphrodesiac.

~tulip, a work in progress



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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 6:54:33 PM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I don't think this would work for me....I need to have the light like they are looking at Beyonce:)

Glad it is working so well for you though:)

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 7:00:32 PM   
bluepanda


Posts: 328
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline 		It's absolutely essential. But then, my idea of "physically attractive" is not necessarily the same as everyone else's. When I watch "The Truth About Cats And Dogs", it's because I want to gaze adoringly at Janeane Garofalo, and whenever that Uma Thurman broad is onscreen I fast forward to a part that's got Janeane in it.

I tend to find women physically attractive only if I'm attracted to something about who they are as a person. If I have the right chemistry with someone, I can look at her and see only beauty because I see only the woman inside. She could be a wearing a dirty burlap sack and a pair of army boots, with her hair sticking out like a hedgehog, and she'd be the only woman in the room I could even see. If I'm not physically attracted to the woman outside, it's almost invariably because I don't find the woman inside sufficiently attractive. In which case, there's just nothing there for us...

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In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 7:05:45 PM   
featherleather


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		For me it is a chemistry thing. I can have great 'keyboard' chemistry with someone, but until I meet them face to face I don't truly know, even with seeing a picture. That being said, as soon as I meet them face to face...I know if I will ever see them again or have any kind of a 'relationship' with them.

(in reply to bluepanda)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 7:22:31 PM   
magdelyn


Posts: 17
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		It is definately important to be attracted to a person with which you want to engage in a relationship.  Of course, "attractive" means different things to different people.  I like people who take care of themselves, because, if they don't care about themselves, they can't care for me.

:) 

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 7:23:48 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parakeet89

Well, so far most people seem to think that it's important.
I dont have a Dom yet but I've been talking to someone about it. I like them on a mental/emotional level, but I recently saw their picture and I'm just not attracted to him at all. I can't imagine having sex with him and I feel horrible and shallow about it. I wasn't sure if I was just a bad person.



you might want to keep in mind that lots of guys aren't photogenic, AND they have a tendency to choose photos that aren't necessarily flattering. 

you'll never know what they are really like until you meet them in person.  you're not bound to f*ck them on a first date, right?

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"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 7:41:19 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

quote:

ORIGINAL: parakeet89

Well, so far most people seem to think that it's important.
I dont have a Dom yet but I've been talking to someone about it. I like them on a mental/emotional level, but I recently saw their picture and I'm just not attracted to him at all. I can't imagine having sex with him and I feel horrible and shallow about it. I wasn't sure if I was just a bad person.



you might want to keep in mind that lots of guys aren't photogenic, AND they have a tendency to choose photos that aren't necessarily flattering. 

you'll never know what they are really like until you meet them in person.  you're not bound to f*ck them on a first date, right?


This is a good point... C is ass-grabbingly hot... but always takes bad photos. I tell him to smile and he goes....

That being said, if you see a picture of someone, and feel repulsion as opposed to indifference, I'd say that's a pretty good indication of how the date is going to go.


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HBIC



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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 8:09:32 PM   
femmetasia


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/18/2008
Status: offline 		i have found that as my love deepens so does my perception of my Master's physical attractiveness.  His beautifully wicked mind first captivated me and his physical attributes were secondary.  So perhaps physical attraction isn't merely about being through the eye of the beholder, but also about being through the heart of the beholder. 

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I bend, but I do not break - Jean de La Fontaine

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Physical attractiveness - 12/8/2008 8:12:45 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp
Acceptance is a heady aphrodesiac.

~tulip, a work in progress


tulip, I thought your whole post was great, but I loved the italilcized line above.  Thanks for sharing.

lisa

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 40
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