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Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 11:09:23 AM   
cravinspankin


Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?
Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?

I've made it a hard limit..... though i must admit I failed to adhere to that limit one time... not to drink if i'm gonna play, or play if i've been drinking.
I also refuse to allow someone to top me if they've been drinking.
I just think reactions are slower, people aren't as observant, and are much less capable of controlling their movements where alcohol is involved.
However, i've seen some Dom/Dommes.... usually younger ones, consume a great deal of alcohol (I consider 6 beers in about two hours a great deal) and not hesitate to play.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 11:12:57 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin
Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?

Nope.
quote:


Do you play if you've been drinking?

I don't drink alcohol, but if I did then there would be sometimes play with it.
quote:


Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking?

Depends on the circumstances, yes.
quote:

What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?

Depends on the circumstances, yes.

Growing up in a family with a LOT of alcoholism, past and present, it was a shock to me when I got into the real world and learned that some adults really CAN drink and still be pleasant and fully aware and in control of what's going on.

Depends- do I want to do a needles in my clit scene with someone who'd just had 5 shots? No not really. But I could do a wax scene with someone who had a glass or two of wine at dinner. It all depends on the circumstances. I like to think we're adults who can judge for ourselves, rather than having to just call the whole thing off.

However, I respect people who have a choice of hard limit with it.

SSC and Alcohol

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 12/28/2005 11:13:38 AM >

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 11:13:56 AM   
Nendarye


Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I, myself, never drink, mainly because alcholhol has a tendency to thin the blood...a good hit on the back of the legs, a small cut...could cause excessive bleeding. Also, why would I want to dilute the sensations?

As to whether or not I would play with someone who was drinking? No

_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 11:16:01 AM   
Hohoho


Posts: 135
Joined: 3/18/2005
Status: offline 		A two drink maximum with dinner for me and my partner has worked fine for me before any play. But there are some activities I haven't tried that I would think 2 drinks would be two, too many.


K

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 11:16:46 AM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		NO ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION PRIOR TO SCENING PERIOD!! i'm putting my slave foot down on this one LOL!!! The same goes for drugs too. i firmly believe that alchol and drugs do not mix with sceneing. And you're right cravin. Their reactions are slower and they aren't as observant. i would think that one would want to be sober to really enjoy all that a scene has to offer.

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 11:18:23 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I perfer not to be drunk or buzzed nor have a sub with alcohol in there system while giving a session.

1. It impairs my judgement/vision on my strength and where I want to hit.

2. The senses or dulled. Just because a sub may not feel the full load of the pain, the body is still taking the damage.

3. Alcohol thins the blood. Extra brusing can be a result of being in a scene while having alcohol in your system. If unplaned bleeding occured, the blood would also take longer to clot.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 11:18:28 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?
Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?

I've made it a hard limit..... though i must admit I failed to adhere to that limit one time... not to drink if i'm gonna play, or play if i've been drinking.
I also refuse to allow someone to top me if they've been drinking.
I just think reactions are slower, people aren't as observant, and are much less capable of controlling their movements where alcohol is involved.
However, i've seen some Dom/Dommes.... usually younger ones, consume a great deal of alcohol (I consider 6 beers in about two hours a great deal) and not hesitate to play.



Tom and I have just started exploring wines -- we try a different one maybe once every two months or so. This is to help us prepare so that in the future when I'm on job interviews at universities I can make a semi-informed choice (its rather common to go to a nice restaurant or for there to be wine & cheese sorts of things at many colleges and universities).

Fox is allegeric to alcohol however. So limiting him isn't a problem.

I do not do anything beyond our daily 24/7 interactions though for about 1-2 hours after Tom and I have these wine tasting sessions. I want to feel safe myself and this is one way I can feel safer.

However, I have noticed that many of the events in Indiana take place in bars -- either kink specific or kink friendly events. I've gone to a few, even was a DM at a couple, and frankly stopped going in part because of the drinking. When a top can barely stand because of her/his drinking, they should not be flogging and I seemed to be one of a very small number of people who understood that in my local community. I stopped going to these events because I felt like a hypocrite going and support the event when it allowed serious drinking (and I suspect other intoxicants given what I saw being exchanged).

I have veto power over folks that Fox plays with. There are currently three people on that list and all three are there because of alcohol or drug use I saw that was combined with scening. Fox is not a ceramic duckling figurine; if he's injured by someone acting under the influence of alcohol or drugs, I cannot replace him.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 11:21:58 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?


Do not drink and will not play with anyone that has been drinking before a scene... I also require no drinking until well after a scene as well. I also alot of concerns with the use of other drugs as well.

quote:


Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?


NEVER! Because i prefer natural rush and not one that is supplemented with induced drug


quote:


However, i've seen some Dom/Dommes.... usually younger ones, consume a great deal of alcohol (I consider 6 beers in about two hours a great deal) and not hesitate to play.


different strokes for different folks... but such behavior/choices wouldn't gain my respect or trust, for others it may not be an issue and that is their right to choose!


_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 11:34:18 AM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		We don't do a lot of "scening", but in general, our servants are discouraged from drinking unless -we- offer them an alcoholic beverage. Lady SilverRose and I will have an occasional drink -- myself the less often of the two of us, since my monastic years made me a "lightweight" in the alcohol department... it puts me to sleep, so I don't drink often. We -will- physically chastise a servant who is drunk, under the terms of the agreement made with us, since if he or she is drunk, he or she has directly disobeyed us in getting into that state.

We also discourage the drinking of alcoholic beverages while we are in discussion about whether or not an individual will come here to train or serve. It is our policy that alcohol constitutes an "impairment". It acts chemically on the body in a manner that diminishes inhibitions and compromises rational thought, even in small quantities. An impaired person is not considered capable of giving consent. Therefore, we believe that consent cannot be given by an individual who has been drinking, and even if they gave consent -before- they had alcohol, that consent is revoked by consideration of their state of impairment after drinking (IE, they are impaired, and therefore unable to give legitimate consent). Therefore, no servant in our House will play while inebriated, nor will we allow someone who has been drinking or using other consciousness-altering substances to make use of our property, except in the most innocent services of food, drink, and no-contact conversation.

Your mileage may vary,

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?
Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?


_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 12:58:30 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?
Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?

I've made it a hard limit..... though i must admit I failed to adhere to that limit one time... not to drink if i'm gonna play, or play if i've been drinking.
I also refuse to allow someone to top me if they've been drinking.
I just think reactions are slower, people aren't as observant, and are much less capable of controlling their movements where alcohol is involved.
However, i've seen some Dom/Dommes.... usually younger ones, consume a great deal of alcohol (I consider 6 beers in about two hours a great deal) and not hesitate to play.



I don't drink lol. One reason, I have a very very low tolerance for alcohol, another is that it thins the blood ( longer clotting times ), and another is that I want to FEEL everything...I don't want my responses dulled by something that I ingested. Sure, some will argue that alcohol intensifies the feelings...I disagree with this, all it does is mask the feelings.

As to whether or not I would let someone scene with me who had been drinking? Nope. Not open for discussion either.

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 1:18:03 PM   
LadyJC


Posts: 111
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		I hardly drink never really enjoyed the feeling of being drunk. I'll have the occasional small glass of wine or a beer, but at a play party if I'm planning on playing, No I will not drink. I went to a play party with a submissive before who wanted to play, I told him I will not play with someone who was drinking so if he wants to play he won't drink. First thing he did when we walked in was get a beer, so we didn't play he was rather bummed out about it, and sulked but I wouldn't hear of it.
I've seen what alcohol does to too many people when they get drunk, rude ignorant, annoying, insulting, angry etc. alcohol is a depressant not to mention the other factors listed.
I will not tolerate it, having the odd drink at dinner, or at a restaurant is one thing but I will not tolerate drinking on a regular basis at all from my sub much less if there's a playing scene involved.
And I will not play if I've had a beer in my system as well.
LadyJC

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 1:18:43 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		It's a hard limit with me too ... if I'm not drunk, probably no chance you could ever get me to do it.

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 1:48:17 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Not only do I not allow Alcohol into My scene play, My roleplay, My Home or Life,
And have it as a hard limit for Myself and for My posessions and agreed Partners,
But I do not allow Drugs not legal, Smoking or Unsafe sexual practices either.
( Unless the scene involves S/m and Ciggarettes as the kink used for pain or
mind fuck purpose. In other words not smoked. )I would not release any posession
to that which I deem a hard limit nor would I accept play from those whom
would not respect such activites in a BDSM. D/s. S/m scene. Those that I know
drink I request such days be enjoy seperate and do NOT include their play days
with in My Munch Community,Home or Dungeon. I have no issue informing any
that to be a part of My Alternate Lifestyle some rules, regulations and proticals
will be followed that are more stringenet then the average gather lets meet
and greet munchie of casual scene players of D/s. If any person cannot control
their use of items that change their body and mind structure for a lifestyle
thats practiced with out such needs Then in My Opinon they have no business
being in a position of Power or submission to Any. The Natural * Highs * of
adrenilyn is more then enough for the body and mind of any lifestyler in scene
or play and even those on prescription drugs would be monitored medically if
chose to scene or roleplay. S.S.C. and R.A.C.K along with a lil C.S.S.P.

(safe.sane.consensual)(risk.aware.consensual.kink.)(common.sence.safe.practice.)

Goes along way to a healthy and long enjoyed kinkified and alternate lifestyle.

DOES MY WORDS SOUND STRICT AND UNBENDING?
YOU BETTER DAMN WELL BELEIVE IT! JMO

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 1:52:07 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?
Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?

I've made it a hard limit..... though i must admit I failed to adhere to that limit one time... not to drink if i'm gonna play, or play if i've been drinking.
I also refuse to allow someone to top me if they've been drinking.
I just think reactions are slower, people aren't as observant, and are much less capable of controlling their movements where alcohol is involved.
However, i've seen some Dom/Dommes.... usually younger ones, consume a great deal of alcohol (I consider 6 beers in about two hours a great deal) and not hesitate to play.



In the South Central - Southwest Ontario kink community organizers of guest list only play parties have had difficulty in finding venues. Because in this community, as a general rule, the members tend to drink far less alcohol than other groups and bars make their money on alcohol. However the venues have found that our community is not given to brawling and breaking furniture, throwing up on their carpets or floors etc, etc.

At a party I have a bottle or cup of water in front of me, I stay hydrated and sober. My reaction times stay within limits I can count on and what choices I make are not affected by impaired judgement.

I once played a sub that was drunk, I hadn't been aware of his condition until we went to take him down. That has never happened again, nor will it. I will not play with a sub who has been drinking or is using non-perscribed drugs.

Why? For myself, I am using instruments meant to cause pain, a few are weapons grade, one will spot weld. Impaired reactions or judgement on my part could send someone to the emergency room or morgue, not what I consider a sastisfactory ending to a scene.

For my play partner? Drugs and alcohol consumption can affect their perception of pain, so what should be a yellow could go unnoticed until the next day when the high wears off. Also, because I sometimes play with people I am not completely familiar with, I want to be sure that when we are negotiating the scene, that they are making rational agreements to the activities. Someone who is high may agree to something they would refuse if they were sober, I don't want that sort of responsibility.

Yes I have played as a sub with a Top who had too much to drink, that is why my rules governing myself and my play partners are so strict.


_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 2:13:43 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I don't play with children. I consider anyone who can't make responsible choices about their play and mindbending to be a child.

Yes, I have been known to drink and play. It's all relative. I wouldn't do any hard S/m play if I'd had a few, but I certainly would make D/s choices to some degree or another.

It's about personal responsibility, to my mind. I can have a few and still be responsible. More than a few and I'll get sick before I get terribly drunk - so that leaves me out of the drunk club.

The answer to your question is yes, under the right circumstances.




_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 2:32:41 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin
Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?
Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?


I will not play if alcohol has been used. I want to take credit for the intoxicating feeling that overcomes my victim... uhmmm play partner.

Alcohol can & will cause changes that could prevent a person from realizing that they are being harmed. By their not reacting to certain stimulations I would not be able to read them properly thus my not realizing I may be harming them. I will play hard & I do push a bottom ever so slightly as we play, if they don't react in a way that alerts me that I am pushing too far... somebody is gonna get whomped!

(edited to add) As for myself... I RARELY drink. It would be nearly impossible that I would have a drink at a time that I would be playing.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 12/28/2005 2:35:09 PM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 2:55:03 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		For myself, no way would I scene with a Dom who'd been drinking, amount doesn't matter. Alcohol impairs your senses, limits and slows reaction time, impairs your judgement ability as far as noting a bottom's reactions. It's a potential for disaster, very unsafe. How can you trust someone who's not fully sober to not inadvertantly hurt or damage you beyond what is agreed on?

On the flip side, I am not much of a drinker anyway, but definitely wouldn't drink alcohol if I were going to be participating in a scene. I want a clear head and a full ability to feel, and get fully into the scene without alcohol clouding the events.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:10:02 PM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD

DOES MY WORDS SOUND STRICT AND UNBENDING?


No, mainly they "sound" Nuptial Script-like and unreadable, so I have no idea what you ever have to "say." Then again, perhaps you are doing me a service - I find that most people that deviate from the normal font faces, colors, and sizing have little to express that I would find interesting to read.

So thanks, keep posting like that and I'll never have to know what you think about anything.


_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:11:23 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?
Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?


I think a lot of this depends on how much alcohol is involved. If someone has a cocktail or two spaced out over a fair amount of time and is acting in a sane and rational manner I would proceed. I obviously wouldn't jump into a scene with someone who wasn't in control of themself. As for myself, I prefer not to be drunk as a rule. I will have the occasional social drink (not for another six months, though). However, I would prefer not to play drunk anyway, less as a safety precaution and more for the fact that it would deaden sensation and I probably wouldn't enjoy it as much. Drinking, like anything else, should be in moderation. Alcohol shouldn't necessarily exclude play as long as everyone acts like an adult.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to cravinspankin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Alcohol and BDSM - 12/28/2005 3:12:59 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Yes, I have been known to drink and play. It's all relative. I wouldn't do any hard S/m play if I'd had a few, but I certainly would make D/s choices to some degree or another.

It's about personal responsibility, to my mind. I can have a few and still be responsible. More than a few and I'll get sick before I get terribly drunk - so that leaves me out of the drunk club.

The answer to your question is yes, under the right circumstances.
I know that the majority of folks say no alcohol, but I say, if there is alcohol and I feel like having one or two drinks, I do. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 20
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