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RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:18:20 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Sunny, I understand the problems of a language barrier. My last girl spoke french more than english. I don't speak french. Imagine trying to understand a sobbing upset person babbling in a language you can only pick up pieces of, and well you have that picture.

As far as the asses that get nasty when they don't get their way.........unless you belong to them, don't forget, you always have the human right to tell them to piss off. Trust me, you will find the perfect guy for you without compromising your own values.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SunshineSunny)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:31:53 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I arrange first meetings by suggesting places I'd enjoy and feel comfortable at and then inviting them to meet me there. OR I arrange for them to come pick me up and take me out, as a treat.


I tell them tough shit, Go home and wank your monkey if all you're here for is sexual gratification. Course I do make it clear several times before we ever meet face to face that there is to be no sex, and no bdsm play and I am infact single and have not agreed to anything beyond meeting there for I owe them nothing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SunshineSunny

How do you arrange your first meeting and what happends when a Dom gets mad becuase you say no to SEX ... on the first meeting ...? Sunny


(in reply to SunshineSunny)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:32:50 PM   
SunshineSunny


Posts: 20
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you .. it just seems here that when someone is new  I have seen that men .. try to take advantage and I have been reading these posts from other Subs and Masters and reading book to learn more and educate myself better in what are my rights.... and I think I will write more to ask more questions " giggles"
THank you very much .. LaTigresse.. for all your help ...
Sunny

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:39:11 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		reply .. the word is reply

you want to meet someone?  pay for it.. . you want him to pay... then you should likely be willing to put out.. sorry.. but I think of it that way... if anyone wants to visit me, they can pay.. and if I want to visit.. I'll pay.. then I'm responsible ...

and in the end, I try to stick to local folks

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to SunshineSunny)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:45:35 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

reply .. the word is reply

you want to meet someone?  pay for it.. . you want him to pay... then you should likely be willing to put out.. sorry.. but I think of it that way... if anyone wants to visit me, they can pay.. and if I want to visit.. I'll pay.. then I'm responsible ...

and in the end, I try to stick to local folks


I'm sorry but this is not correct. Its what I believe to be utter bull cockka. Countless women through the years have been taken out by men(who usually make more money. 1.00 to her .70) who pay. Its called a DATE. Ever heard of it? No i should not expect to put out because a man asked me out for a date. If he doesnt pick up the tab thats fine. He just wont get a second date.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:46:43 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Ok.. I guess its just me.. I think very differently then...oh.. and I don't think its the same for dinner... but for transportation.. across a significant part of the country... I do think that way..

a date is very different.. I meant, and I suppose it wasn't clear.. but wait, it was... meeting someone.. taking perhaps a plane ride that cost a few hundred bucks.. or a rental car and gas...

I was clear... I didn't mean a date...

the discussion was transportation costs...

ulitmately, if you can't afford it.. don't do it.. women should be able to stand on their own and have their own resources that = choices
otherwise you don't have choices...


quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

reply .. the word is reply

you want to meet someone?  pay for it.. . you want him to pay... then you should likely be willing to put out.. sorry.. but I think of it that way... if anyone wants to visit me, they can pay.. and if I want to visit.. I'll pay.. then I'm responsible ...

and in the end, I try to stick to local folks


I'm sorry but this is not correct. Its what I believe to be utter bull cockka. Countless women through the years have been taken out by men(who usually make more money. 1.00 to her .70) who pay. Its called a DATE. Ever heard of it? No i should not expect to put out because a man asked me out for a date. If he doesnt pick up the tab thats fine. He just wont get a second date.


< Message edited by Madame4a -- 12/11/2008 4:50:30 PM >

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:48:42 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

Ok.. I guess its just me.. I think very differently then...


quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

reply .. the word is reply

you want to meet someone?  pay for it.. . you want him to pay... then you should likely be willing to put out.. sorry.. but I think of it that way... if anyone wants to visit me, they can pay.. and if I want to visit.. I'll pay.. then I'm responsible ...

and in the end, I try to stick to local folks


I'm sorry but this is not correct. Its what I believe to be utter bull cockka. Countless women through the years have been taken out by men(who usually make more money. 1.00 to her .70) who pay. Its called a DATE. Ever heard of it? No i should not expect to put out because a man asked me out for a date. If he doesnt pick up the tab thats fine. He just wont get a second date.



The difference is that you are a Domme. WHether male or female a Dom is a DOmme.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:49:13 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
you want him to pay... then you should likely be willing to put out


So is the reverse also true?  If he wants me to pay, then he should be willing to put out???


Cali
(scampers off with this newfound tactic)


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:52:36 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Actually I don't meet anyone as anything other than an equal... submissive doesn't mean helpless..

see my edits.. helpless means no choices... sorry .. women need to be independent.. you never know what's going to happen...

even on a date, my mother always said.. "have cab fare and a dime to make a phone call" ... my Mom wasn't all that independent but she wanted her girls to be... *grin* she made sure we learned to type so we would always have a job ... that's another story

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:54:01 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		oh sure.. why the hell not...

in the end, both parties should take care of their own expenses... that's my way of thinking... perhaps I'm out of it.. but if I can't afford it, I'm not doing it.. and if the other party can't.. sorry.. no one is that appealing that I'm going to pay a lot of money for a first meeting.. dinner, maybe.. but transportation?  Nope...


quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
you want him to pay... then you should likely be willing to put out


So is the reverse also true?  If he wants me to pay, then he should be willing to put out???


Cali
(scampers off with this newfound tactic)



_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:55:28 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I'm sorry.. I don't get why its different that I'm a domme?  Tell me, please.. I don't get that at all

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:55:50 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		The first meet off the internet is not a date.  It's the pre-date.  It's what used to be the "chatting each other up at the party, or the office water cooler" stage.

As a side note, most of the women I have dated make more money than I do.  I've always offered to pay for everything, and they've always insisted they pay for something.  I flew to Atlanta one time to meet a lady from Alt.  I bought the ticket and she offered to cover the hotel room.  She put me in a suite in the Hilton.  Biggest hotel room I've ever been in. 

Not everyone has that kinda bank, and a lot of people who used to be able to do that will find themselves in a much tougher position next year.  Any woman who thinks the man should pay for everything immediately lands in my "not interested" pile.  This isn't the single-income-is-enough 1950s.  This is the do-our-best-to-help-each-other 21st century.  I'm attracted to women who are living in the now, not the rosy past.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:57:58 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

no wonder I like you...


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

The first meet off the internet is not a date.  It's the pre-date.  It's what used to be the "chatting each other up at the party, or the office water cooler" stage.

As a side note, most of the women I have dated make more money than I do.  I've always offered to pay for everything, and they've always insisted they pay for something.  I flew to Atlanta one time to meet a lady from Alt.  I bought the ticket and she offered to cover the hotel room.  She put me in a suite in the Hilton.  Biggest hotel room I've ever been in. 

Not everyone has that kinda bank, and a lot of people who used to be able to do that will find themselves in a much tougher position next year.  Any woman who thinks the man should pay for everything immediately lands in my "not interested" pile.  This isn't the single-income-is-enough 1950s.  This is the do-our-best-to-help-each-other 21st century.  I'm attracted to women who are living in the now, not the rosy past.



_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 4:58:04 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

I'm sorry.. I don't get why its different that I'm a domme?  Tell me, please.. I don't get that at all


because you feel like you are in charge if you pay. And you equate paying your way as having control. You eqate money with control.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 5:00:09 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Actually.. you'd really have to know me to decide that.. but I can see that you'd assume that from what I've said...

I don't think anything puts me in charge until someone puts themselves into my hands.. and that will never be the first time we meet...

nope, money is not power in my mind...

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

I'm sorry.. I don't get why its different that I'm a domme?  Tell me, please.. I don't get that at all


because you feel like you are in charge if you pay. And you equate paying your way as having control. You eqate money with control.


_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 5:01:40 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a



no wonder I like you...

Rent me a car and buy me dinner and I'll.....

... actually, I'd better be careful how I finish that sentence.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 5:08:06 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		oh yes, do be careful...  be still my heart

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a



no wonder I like you...

Rent me a car and buy me dinner and I'll.....

... actually, I'd better be careful how I finish that sentence.



_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 5:08:07 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

you want to meet someone?  pay for it.. . you want him to pay... then you should likely be willing to put out.. sorry.. but I think of it that way... if anyone wants to visit me, they can pay.. and if I want to visit.. I'll pay.. then I'm responsible ...

in the end, both parties should take care of their own expenses... that's my way of thinking... perhaps I'm out of it.. but if I can't afford it, I'm not doing it.. and if the other party can't.. sorry.. no one is that appealing that I'm going to pay a lot of money for a first meeting.. dinner, maybe.. but transportation?  Nope...


It sounds like you're contradicting yourself a bit here.  What if both parties want to meet?  One person should not have to take on the burden of paying for all of their expenses if *they* are travelling to meet someone else.  If that's the case, then that person's expenses will be in the hundreds of dollars, whereas the other person (who stayed home) only dishes out a few bucks.  That just isn't fair, to me.  I don't want to meet anyone badly enough to go broke meeting them, and I make a good salary.  For me, a person who is willing to split the cost with me is probably pretty interested in meeting me, and not just for a quick lay, since they have to put out some time, effort, and greenbacks for it...just as I do.  I do agree that one should always have the resources to make it back home, in case something goes wrong.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 5:09:47 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I suppose I'm different... although splitting the cost.. to some extent evenly works for me.. for the most part, I've found I have more disposal income than those I've come in contact with.. I'll bear the larger burden.. but I think people, regardless of gender or orientation should be able to pay their own way...

from what I've read here and lots of other online situations.. I've found women end up stranded... but yes, ultimately, having the resources to take care of yourself is what I'm really after...


quote:

ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub

quote:

you want to meet someone?  pay for it.. . you want him to pay... then you should likely be willing to put out.. sorry.. but I think of it that way... if anyone wants to visit me, they can pay.. and if I want to visit.. I'll pay.. then I'm responsible ...

in the end, both parties should take care of their own expenses... that's my way of thinking... perhaps I'm out of it.. but if I can't afford it, I'm not doing it.. and if the other party can't.. sorry.. no one is that appealing that I'm going to pay a lot of money for a first meeting.. dinner, maybe.. but transportation?  Nope...


It sounds like you're contradicting yourself a bit here.  What if both parties want to meet?  One person should not have to take on the burden of paying for all of their expenses if *they* are travelling to meet someone else.  If that's the case, then that person's expenses will be in the hundreds of dollars, whereas the other person (who stayed home) only dishes out a few bucks.  That just isn't fair, to me.  I don't want to meet anyone badly enough to go broke meeting them, and I make a good salary.  For me, a person who is willing to split the cost with me is probably pretty interested in meeting me, and not just for a quick lay, since they have to put out some time, effort, and greenbacks for it...just as I do.  I do agree that one should always have the resources to make it back home, in case something goes wrong.


< Message edited by Madame4a -- 12/11/2008 5:11:03 PM >

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to bamabbwsub)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Meeting a Dom - 12/11/2008 5:13:58 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Yes, I have in the past payed quite  bit of money to go see the gentlemen I was interested in.Hell it cost that much to go to my brothers wedding in lousianna almost.

If I couldn't afford to pay my own way I just simply wouldn't go, as I feel I have no business planning to go someplace I can't afford to go to.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SunshineSunny

I Just added that today ...... and the reason i did that is because  I am not going to spend ... 100  to 200  dollars to go down there to meet the guy drive 5 hours .. ...... and to top it off I am paying .. my own hotel ... room .. Yes I do expect him to pay for my Transportation.. or he is welcome ... to come over to where i live .. and meet me here .. I have no problems ... So you are telling me that you will pay  about .. 500 or more on someone that lives across country  ... mmmmm.. no .I would not... and yes I do expect .. him to respect me as he respects me and exchanged kinks and ideas does not give him the right to .. think that I will sleep with him .. we are adults and we are exchanging .. Likes .. i mean other wise how would he know ..So IMagine .. I talk to about .. 5 men so because we get along .. that means I should just let him touch me and use me LOL NO WAY ....
Now if  he  lives about 100 miles away I would pay for my own stuff becuase he is close me and  I can come back home .. other then that .. Yes HE has to pay for my transportation ..  .. I am not paying to go meet Someone...
Maybe you have a good job that pays you over 20 Dollars an hour for you to make that kind of expensese but not Me...

Sunny

(in reply to SunshineSunny)
Profile   Post #: 60
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