RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress?

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RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 4:24:49 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rumtiger

Do you pay? lol

There in lies the rub. Those of us who are to cheep to pay for porn have to skim off the top of what those who DO pay want. Generally speaking, males spend way more on porn than females. Therefore, they get what they want.

** And if the OP was advertising for himself, he should have used a buffer photo. He's far to thin for my taste. But to each her own.

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(in reply to Rumtiger)

Post #: 21

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 9:21:54 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I think a lot of what you "see" is porn -- it is designed primarily by men for men so of course the focus is on the female bodies not the male.

However, I also know from my black friends that non-white cultures can judge BDSM even more harshly than it is judged by white cultures -- note the plurals here. My black kinky friends have told me multiple times about things they needed to consider before they came out that never occurred to me or whites when we came out -- not just to others but to ourselves. So I think there is a greater cultural and social hurdle for some folks to overcome.

As for being judged as a potential threat, you aren't alone in that experience as a man. My husband and slave, neither in any physical sports or training, have told me many times that just their being tall seems to intimidate strangers -- they aren't that tall, 6 foot or so.

I can't speak for other cultures but here in the USA since I've been alive we are constantly flooded with the idea that men are more aggressive, more violent, that boys lack self control, that men will by nature rape, etc. I think most of that is crap but when you are fed a steady diet of this information how can you not be afraid of men at some level? Plus the sad reality is that in American 1/3 of all females will survive (or not) sexual violence and that most of it is at the hands of males. The threat is not just information that we get on the news but also hits close to hope for a significant number of people.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 12/15/2008 9:26:48 AM >

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(in reply to Dastan)

Post #: 22

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 9:26:07 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

I have to admit that my very early fantasies in dominating a man/male, were always on creating a micro man. I wanted a very small male that I could carry around in my pocket and just pull out and torture now and again. Saying that I have never found one

and so the next best thing is a big muscular guy that would frighten the s_it out of most other guys. Something very rewarding about having a guy like that kneel before me.

(in reply to Rumtiger)

Post #: 23

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 5:28:51 PM

Dastan

Posts: 148
Joined: 12/13/2008
From: Barranquilla city, Colombia
Status: offline

Dear yourMisTress:

First, madam, this isn't a plug, for I am obviously located in a place where I don't have any use for it. Besides, not putting up a facepic allows me to not break the morality statute and get in trouble with the powers that be in my city, not to mention the normal people or "vanillas" and all....

Secondly madam, I said it because in addition to my reputation during my athletic days, I also served in the army, as all males do once they finish high school, I went to war and parachuted down on the worst battles and I did have to take lives, as any other soldier in the world in battle has done. And American movies depict us as a country of whores, ragamuffins and guerrilla druglords and cartel warlords the same you'd depict all germans as Nazis during WW2 movies.

This is a largely-known-fact about us Colombians, since 90% of the males at this moment in my country, from ages 20 to 70, have the same experience than I do, and this greatly enhances some bad and shady image of us being the same as the Islamic countries where people assume that most males can blow themselves up or crash planes against buildings if provocked or motivated, and the same as if I said all Chinese today know Kung-Fu and can get into an epic movie fight if they feel it is called for by the circumstances and persons around them.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 24

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 5:33:57 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

your response leaves me even more puzzled.

What is your question?

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"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to Dastan)

Post #: 25

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 5:34:51 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dastan

This is a largely-known-fact about us Colombians, since 90% of the males at this moment in my country, from ages 20 to 70, have the same experience than I do, and this greatly enhances some bad and shady image of us being the same as the Islamic countries where people assume that most males can blow themselves up or crash planes against buildings if provocked or motivated, and the same as if I said all Chinese today know Kung-Fu and can get into an epic movie fight if they feel it is called for by the circumstances and persons around them.

It is not a fact, it is a STEREOTYPE. Not unlike the stereotype that Americans are all millionaires.

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Post #: 26

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 5:38:15 PM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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No, I think he's saying it's a fact that all Colombian males have experienced at least being in the army. If you follow world events at all, you'd realize that the danger level is on par with living in Iraq.

Stephan

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Post #: 27

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 5:40:52 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I do know that, Stephann. I think he is saying that we wimmins see Colombian men as dangerous...

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Post #: 28

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 5:42:35 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think he is saying that we wimmins see Colombian men as dangerous...

I think so too...but why ?

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Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 29

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 5:45:16 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

You are a true sub. Never mind mistresses that cannot recognize you as such. There are others that will value and appreciate you and your qualities.

(in reply to Dastan)

Post #: 30

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 5:47:15 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think he is saying that we wimmins see Colombian men as dangerous...

I think so too...but why ?

I am wondering the same. Let's hope there is some response to this nonscientific survey.

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[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 31

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 5:50:28 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am wondering the same. Let's hope there is some response to this nonscientific survey.

I was hoping for an answer, he was perving my profile, he was here...alas, nothing.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 32

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 6:07:01 PM

Dastan

Posts: 148
Joined: 12/13/2008
From: Barranquilla city, Colombia
Status: offline

Miss Tress, I am so sorry, I am still new and working the perks of the website.....

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 33

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 6:08:10 PM

Dastan

Posts: 148
Joined: 12/13/2008
From: Barranquilla city, Colombia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Hello Dastan and welcome to the forums,

I checked your profile to see what resources are in your area and you are located in Barranquilla, Columbia. You mention that finding resources in your country is not easy and I can appreciate that.

There is a group in the San Francisco Bay Area called, Bay Area Women of Color and they have a photo project. You could contact them and ask about fetish modeling opportunties for Latino men.

http://www.bayareawoc.com/WOC-EVENTS.html

As to you other question about a man's body, well, one of my 2 slaves is a body builder and very masculine. I do not find his physique intimidating at all. And a macho attitude is a real red-flag for that someone is not right for me.

Dear Mistress Vendaval:

First of all, allow me to tell you that your name, "Vendaval" which in Spanish translates as "a strong gale force wind, a tornado/hurricane like phenomenom of linnear wind flow and high/low pressure mass of air strong enough to uproot trees and capsize ships as well as breaking windows and doors or uplifting roof platings" is very interesting, because you certainly seem to have such tempestuos power at your comand, although the feeling I have when reading your kind words is that you are much more like the Biblical word of "Mana" which means "the all-noursihing and all-sustaining divine nectar sent by the Lord to feed and refresh bodies and souls" for you gave me quite a surprise with your words. Truth is, another user of my same city told me that I would have to be very lucky to be welcomed here by anyone being that I was not American or European, and even worse for being Colombian, so now he lost the bet and thanks to it, i must thank you for it for it means he'll have to procure a very hard-to-get book for me, LOL.

Secondly, thank you for the help and the information, I am checking the website's URL that you provided as I write you this message, and I can't thank you enough for it (actually, I'd say I'd kneel on the middle of a Xmas Eve-crowded Times Square out of sheer gratefulness for such help even if I was on TV on CNN too) because here, the ONLY thing we see of BDSM is handcuffs, slings, masks costumes and whips or the like as sexual toys the same as vibrators and maid uniforms, only seen when any sex shop that can operate without being shut down by the State on any grounds (they do it because of the pressure exerted on them by "regular" people who is the "majority" and who consider it inmoral as a crack house, and who think BDSM is like Satanism, they consider a person in the leather lifestyle a psycho looking to die or kill someone in a torture chamber after perverted sexual acts) can show them as it seems more troublesome than to just put a vibrator on the counter. We basically live in the Dark Ages and BDSM/Fetishism is like Witchcraft on the days of the Inquisition or Salem's Witch Trials.

'd like to thank also the participation of the fine Mistresses and Ladies of the forum thread, so special thanks and my personal reverence to LadyHibiscus, RedMagic1, DragonLadysFire, MsStarlett
, ShaktiSama, yourMissTress, thishereboi, Lockit, Lashra, PsyVamp, Usako, LadyPact, DrkJourney, AlexandraLynch, FullfigRIMAAM1, Rumtiger, thetammyjo, allthatjaz, Rule and Stephann as well as all others who have been great help for me to understand more.

,

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 34

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/15/2008 6:26:09 PM

Dastan

Posts: 148
Joined: 12/13/2008
From: Barranquilla city, Colombia
Status: offline

In order to clarify my question, s English is not clearly my native tongue, I will use mr Stephann's words as basis for it:

No, I think he's saying it's a fact that all Colombian males have experienced at least being in the army. If you follow world events at all, you'd realize that the danger level is on par with living in Iraq..."

Mr Stephan: my country is as safe to visit as Portugal, Spain, Italy, Greece or Cyprus. We do have guerrilla-controlled areas where people also have the crossfire of Paramilitary troops and Guerrilla troops fighting over drug lands and money as well as power. Long ago they stopped being libertarians or having any justifiable claim, all they are now are druglords and warmongers using a fake revolution as a worn-out mask. They do have militia or gangs in the peripheral neighborhoods of major cities in the INNER provinces in the ANDES mountains, whereas here in my region, the CARIBBEAN COAST, they are both as rare as an Eskimo living in an Igloo on the Sahara....so our cities are safer, mind you and the Irak comparison which is greatly exaggerated.

Now, it is true we all have combat experience, I'd say that any man between 20 and 70 years old knows how to work a gun or fight with blade or blunt weapons and his body to the death if need be to protect himself and his family. But we are not as troublesome as a pitbull walking down the street with its teeth out looking for the next dog to bark at him in order to pick a fight and leave a bite, we can easily turn the other cheek, even if instead of a slap we got a full-force blow to the jaw without cloves on. Furthermore, it isn't like pain is going to make us falter that easily, we are trained to take it since infancy and this comes from a person living in a place where torture is frequent and people die by chainsaw, slowly I might add, as it is that horror what we fight against to protect democracy and order, and above all, freedom from these guerrilla-comunist terrorists.

I'd say that any Domme here who has a Sub of considerable size in muscle and height, as well as training and combat experience, coming from such male-centered cultures and war zones as former Yugoslavia, the Middle East, or Africa will expect us Latin Americans to fit the same mold and consider us the same as dog-fighting bred Pitbulls if not even the Big Bad Wolves, as opposed when compared to the gentle and smooth American/European sub who might be taller and wider in frame and heavier and ripped in muscle mass but whose midnset, even when coming from a military training and war experience, seem the same as very well educated and tamed German Shepherds, Dobermanns, and Rottweilers, and I'd like to know if this is a cultural bias and misunderstanding that can be addressed.

I am very intrigued but happy that some of the fine Ladies and Dommes here have commented on muscular, tall subs with enough experience/training too (military sometimes) and I am wondering what is the difference between them and us, why are they perceived as les sof a threat or more controlled and perhaps it is as what I once heard about guns in a western movie by Sergio leone " it's different when a cowboy has a gun than when an indian does, even if they seem to act the same, only one of them can come to shoot you in the back with it out of the blue for the reasons he thinks right" and i sort of start from that angle, hoping to not insult anyone by the use of such remark taken from the cinema.

(in reply to Dastan)

Post #: 35

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/21/2008 11:10:06 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

hmm have you been reading "The Twue Secrets of FemDominance"? I have always found a flogger to be a nice equalizer.

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Post #: 36

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/23/2008 4:56:09 PM

vampchick88

Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline

pet is very muscular and very strong, he can lift straight off the floor and quite literally put me over his shoulder and carry me around. I weight a bit more than him. Does it scare or intimidate me? not in the least. I've always admired a man who doesn't not try to run over me, can be submissive to me, yet hold his own. I've had it too many times in past experiences where I've had to fight other's battles.

To have a submissive who is, without a doubt stronger than me and probably always will be, yet submits to me is very much a turn on for me. Plus anytime I want to wrestle I know I won't have to worry about 'breaking' my toy!

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Post #: 37

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/23/2008 5:07:04 PM

SimplyIsaac

Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dastan

I noticed that there are almost no images of African-American and Latino males in BDSM and that most of the bodies in S/m are fat or slim elderly men which don't fit into a mold of beauty and romanticism, but rather average-looking or slightly "unattractive" males.

Hey hey hey now. I'm relatively young and I'm considered good looking. I have all my teeth and I run daily.

Granted, no kung fu fighting on a regular basis, but I prefer kissing a woman's ass rather than beating a man's. I think the image you have of men in BDSM is outdated!

Edited to add: You list Objectification as a dislike. Found that sorta odd, considering how into your looks you are. That 4th photo of you...looks really different from the first three.

< Message edited by SimplyIsaac -- 12/23/2008 5:11:30 PM >

(in reply to Dastan)

Post #: 38

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/23/2008 7:09:57 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dastan

I'd say that any Domme here who has a Sub of considerable size in muscle and height, as well as training and combat experience, coming from such male-centered cultures and war zones as former Yugoslavia, the Middle East, or Africa will expect us Latin Americans to fit the same mold and consider us the same as dog-fighting bred Pitbulls if not even the Big Bad Wolves, as opposed when compared to the gentle and smooth American/European sub who might be taller and wider in frame and heavier and ripped in muscle mass but whose midnset, even when coming from a military training and war experience, seem the same as very well educated and tamed German Shepherds, Dobermanns, and Rottweilers, and I'd like to know if this is a cultural bias and misunderstanding that can be addressed.

This is a HUGE cultural bias and misunderstanding....on your part.

It seems to me as though you have a need to make others understand just how big/tough/strong/ you are....why?

Am I missing some point you're trying to make? I've viewed your profile and what I see, beside photos that seem to objectify your body, is someone who appears to be an "expert" at a great many things. The list is truly amazing.
I guess I'm just a bit skeptical when someone claims to be an expert at pretty much every known religious/spiritual belief system (as an example).

Maybe your size isn't the problem. I'm just trying to understand because I have no fear of muscular men....I'm not a little weak flower and strength, in my opinion, is in the mind.

I really am hoping you'll take the time to explain this better and more clearly.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 12/23/2008 7:32:14 PM >

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(in reply to Dastan)

Post #: 39

RE: Why does a Sub's Power/Body scare a Mistress? - 12/25/2008 7:57:49 PM

Trampledblue

Posts: 13
Joined: 12/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonLadysFire

A strong/fit male would be the only one I would consiter. Their strength is something I find attractive and the fact that they offer over that strength to my control.

Yep, from the other side of the spectrum this is what I like about being a strong, fit, ripped (low body fat), male. You're giving up a lot of your physical strengths and power, submitting to a physically weaker female in many cases. I think this is one of the many reasons I like the thinner girls because of this.

(in reply to DragonLadysFire)

Post #: 40

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