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RE: Which to disclose first - 3/11/2009 5:40:51 PM

sparkyRBF

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Joined: 2/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I think a kinky virgin would be a fascinating prospect for a fair few guys ..........though I think the 'waiting for marriage to have sex' would be the hurdle for more than a few......lol

On a site like this, I'd bring up the 'marriage and sex' thing as I think the majority of guys will assume you're a leeeetle bit kinky in the first instance.

agirl

this is what i was thinking also. I wasn't sure if the OP was meaning guys she meets in the mall/church/bar/park or on this website. But if it's here on the website i'm gonna go with they have an idea you might be kinky, the marriage/sex thing is gonna be the biggie.

best of luck to you and congratulations on your commitment to this. Really, i think its something to be proud of.

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RE: Which to disclose first - 3/11/2009 5:57:00 PM

domiguy

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Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Both at the same time. When you find a guy who can handle it, you'll know that he's for you.

Otherwise you're really just stringing them along (and wasting your own time in the process).

quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007

So which do I bring up first? It's a lot to dump on a guy at once, you know?

100% agree. I can just imagine that we are out to dinner on our first date and you proceed to explain exactly what you are in search of.

Flower2007 stares down at her plate while nervously wringing her hands and softly says, "Oh Domiguy, I do love d/s but I am not planning on having sex before I get married....."

I assure you the bill would be paid and I would be tucked into bed before you finished the last syllable in "married."

When you looked up I would be gone...vanished like a fart in a tornado. You might have a slight inkling that you heard me cry out from a vast distance, "call me when you slut yourself up a bit."

Be upfront. This is a deal killer for everyone. Did I say everyone? Why yes, I believe I did. Only because it is.

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RE: Which to disclose first - 3/11/2009 9:07:05 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
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I was in the same position as you. I don't know exactly what you define as sex, but my boundaries were almost never an issue in my relationships. I found many partners that did not have a problem with it and were actually fascinated. In fact, I even dated a Dominant 24 year old male virgin with the same sexual boundaries for almost 2 years. Now THAT might be rare...lol.

In your situation, the best way to keep people from assuming anything is to disclose the pertinent information. You're a virgin, you want to stay that way until you are married, and you're kinky. The keepers will not be deterred by the truth. Why would you want to be with someone who had a problem with two very important parts of you?

Although, I would not just tell that cute guy who is a friend of my friend from work that I like it when guys boss me around and I fantasize about being tied up, etc. You know...be honest...but be smart.

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Post #: 63