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Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:10:53 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		ive heard it said that in order to be a good Mistress, one should be a servant first and work themselves up that way you can sympathise with the servant point of view and empathise with them. is this credible in your opinion, or does it really matter if you have served or not, is this another example of political correctness gone mad or is it only right after all should servants know that those they serve have served others before or does it really matter
kevin
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:15:21 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		I believe that is the practice described in "The Story of O"--however, from My perspective, I DID spend time as a submissive when I began to define Me, I  did it to (A) make sure I was a Dominant and (B) to understand what a submissive MIGHT go through.
 
I was a service sub, I was a sexual sub and I tried to  be a slave ( I failed at this one----) I don't think you HAVE to be one to be good at the other--but I did to learn and I'm very glad I did, IMHO I think it made ME a better Dominant in the world I was creating.

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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:17:21 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		One might just as well proclaim that a sub can't be a good sub until having "served" as a Dom first to better appreciate their position.  I vote against any rules saying that anyone should do anything before anything else. 

yours

Hmm, I still need a signature. 

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:18:58 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm a Dom and I don't wanna serve.  Any questions?

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:19:32 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		AS I have said before... submitting would never have made me better at something since I would have been a miserable and unhappy submissive. I would gain no knowledge into how someone who enjoyed doing those things functioned, so it never seemed like something to waste my time on.For some it does help, for me it would not.



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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:20:28 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		I don't need to be a dentist to go to the dentist

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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:22:55 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		For ME, it is not a credible rule.

I spent too many years, with people trying to cram me into that role, being made to feel like there was something wrong with me for not wanting to serve. It certainly didn't make me a better dominant. In fact, it may have impeded my growth.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:26:57 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I had someone ask me once, what I would do if he put me over his lap and spanked me.  This was before I understood dominance as I do now.  I called it independent.  I told him I would come up swinging.  That pretty much says it all.  I do not submit well.  I tried once when my son was injured.  It was like I better go domme down or destroy someone with the way the hospital was doing things.  Nothing sexual... just submitting online/phone to keep me answering to someone so that I ate and could simply just go down, no pressure or whatever, so it wasn't the typical situation.  I cannot submit.  It just doesn't work!  I don't think or feel submissive so even if it was more typical... I still wouldn't respond submissive and reactions would be different.

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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:31:18 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I think the dentist comment covered it.  However, as a clinic administrator, I worked ever job in the clinic and even assisted in the OR so I could maximize the efficiency of my policies and procedures.    I can only imagine that it helps to some degree if you know how, what and why your subordinate’s relationship partner’s role is executed but it is not required to be a "good" Master/Mistress etc. 

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I give good thread.

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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:32:36 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I think the dentist comment covered it.  However, as a clinic administrator, I worked ever job in the clinic and even assisted in the OR so I could maximize the efficiency of my policies and procedures.    I can only imagine that it helps to some degree if you know how, what and why your subordinate’s relationship partner’s role is executed but it is not required to be a "good" Master/Mistress etc. 


knowledge and preperation is always good.
But that can be done from the sides also..indeed.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:34:50 PM   
secretmaster22


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline 		I don't think that is necessarily the case, although I could see the merit for some.  I think it might be a good idea to have a sadist beat on you for a bit if you want to be a sadist, because it would help to understand the pain that your sub is going through.  Where the good places to hit might be how to hit.  That sort of thing.  

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:37:17 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

I don't think that is necessarily the case, although I could see the merit for some.  I think it might be a good idea to have a sadist beat on you for a bit if you want to be a sadist, because it would help to understand the pain that your sub is going through.  Where the good places to hit might be how to hit.  That sort of thing.  


The thing is, I didn't "want" to be either a sadist or a dominant. I simply was, before I knew what it was.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to secretmaster22)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 2:44:19 PM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

The thing is, I didn't "want" to be either a sadist or a dominant. I simply was, before I knew what it was.



I feel the same. I am a submissive, always have been. It is not something I have learnt and I feel it is that way with Dom's as well.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 4:08:53 PM   
secretmaster22


Posts: 85
Joined: 12/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

I don't think that is necessarily the case, although I could see the merit for some.  I think it might be a good idea to have a sadist beat on you for a bit if you want to be a sadist, because it would help to understand the pain that your sub is going through.  Where the good places to hit might be how to hit.  That sort of thing.  


The thing is, I didn't "want" to be either a sadist or a dominant. I simply was, before I knew what it was.



So are you a sadist with no knowledge of what you are doing?  Sounds dangerous to me.  If you have knowledge then you understand that it takes more than just being a sadist.  I'm only arguing that the knowledge that can be gained from taking a little pain yourself might be helpful in the process.  I don't think someone who has no submissive tendencies at all will necessarily gain too much knowledge from being submissive for a time. 

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 4:11:51 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		For the people lacking common sense, a little hands on training couldn't hurt.

You don't have to be hit with something, to realize that it hurts, and that you should probably not be an idiot with the singletail that just came in the mail.


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HBIC



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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 4:14:43 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		well, if someone would like to experience how it is to receive orders...my flat would need a fair amount of tidying up and cleaning...I do more then welcome anyone who would like to do it for me under my command

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 4:25:43 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Role-playing a submissive will not make me a better dominant.  And that's all it would be for me...role-playing.  It wouldn't be real because I wouldn't be offering genuine submission.  I'd be acting a part for a finite period of time.  Pretending to be something I'm not doesn't make me a better anything; except, perhaps, a better actress.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
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(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 4:28:58 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

ive heard it said that in order to be a good Mistress, one should be a servant first and work themselves up that way you can sympathise with the servant point of view and empathise with them. is this credible in your opinion, or does it really matter if you have served or not, is this another example of political correctness gone mad or is it only right after all should servants know that those they serve have served others before or does it really matter
kevin



Some people might be able to learn empathy by going bottom first but frankly not everyone.

The best tops I've known have been those who either bottomed first or didn't. What they had in common was a strong sense of self, a firm grip on reality, a lot of empathy, and the humility to know that they cannot ever know everything or be perfect.

The worse tops I've ever known have been those that bottomed first and took their experiences and feelings as the only correct feelings and experiences that anyone on the bottom should have. They lacked empathy period and being on the bottom I think only made them more arrogant and less understanding.

The key to being the best you that you can be is to do what works best for you. Only experience will tell that and only experimenting may reveal that.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 4:33:37 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretmaster22

I don't think that is necessarily the case, although I could see the merit for some.  I think it might be a good idea to have a sadist beat on you for a bit if you want to be a sadist, because it would help to understand the pain that your sub is going through.  Where the good places to hit might be how to hit.  That sort of thing.  


The thing is, I didn't "want" to be either a sadist or a dominant. I simply was, before I knew what it was.



So are you a sadist with no knowledge of what you are doing?  Sounds dangerous to me.  If you have knowledge then you understand that it takes more than just being a sadist.  I'm only arguing that the knowledge that can be gained from taking a little pain yourself might be helpful in the process.  I don't think someone who has no submissive tendencies at all will necessarily gain too much knowledge from being submissive for a time. 



Being on the sub or bottom side never teaches you the techniques of being on the top. How could it since you are experiencing the other side.

I apprenticed when I was learning the techniques and beginning my journey as a top/dom. Apprenticing allowed me to learn from the correct position and get honest feedback from someone more experienced.

Another comparison that just popped into my head: I think I'm a great professor not because I was a student or even a great student but because I took the time to apprentice to those who were/are great professors and to study the art and science of teaching. Being a student did not prepare me for being a teacher and I know all of you have had terrible teachers so you know what I'm saying.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to secretmaster22)
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RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first - 12/29/2008 4:34:38 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

ive heard it said that in order to be a good Mistress, one should be a servant first and work themselves up that way you can sympathise with the servant point of view and empathise with them. is this credible in your opinion, or does it really matter if you have served or not, is this another example of political correctness gone mad or is it only right after all should servants know that those they serve have served others before or does it really matter
kevin


there's no 'shoulds'....only that which is consented to within a dynamic.


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Formerly Prinsexx
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