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If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:11:34 PM

CatdeMedici

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Joined: 10/20/2008
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Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does? Aren't we here to have the freedom to be different? Can't an opinion be expressed with out trashing the person who expressed it? Just how tolerant are we?

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

Post #: 1

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:15:32 PM

teenslave

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Joined: 12/1/2007
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Opinions are just that. They aren't fact. So when someone has the opinion that your opinion is wrong you have to just ignore them really. Some people you can't have an intellectual debate with and they will resort to name calling or hostilities.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 2

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:16:57 PM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
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It greatly depends on the fetish, and how they not only describe it but also how they practice it. For us at least, the person posting, and how they act towards others also colors our responses. If someone is into, say, scat, and is posting about how wonderful it is and how everyone should try it or they are not truly dominant... they are not going to get a supportive and tolerant response. However, someone posting about Furries and how much they love the liberating feeling of being in a fursuit during play will be far more tolerated.
There is no rule that says we have to be nice, if you are bringing things toa public forum you have to be ready for the negative with the positive.

DV

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

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(in reply to CatdeMedici)

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RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:17:56 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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YKINMK (your kink is not my kink) but that’s ok seems more rule of thumb than not. I don’t see the ridicule you are referring to as being more common in the lifestyle. From the Spanish crusades to recent issues like gay marriage, it seems to me that the lifestyle is a little more accepting of the “I’m ok, you’re ok” philosophy than average.

Was this post in regards to something specific?

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 4

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:19:07 PM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does? Aren't we here to have the freedom to be different? Can't an opinion be expressed with out trashing the person who expressed it? Just how tolerant are we?

Sometimes we just find it stupid..and we have the same right to find it stupid..as others to find it "nice"
Sometimes people ask for an opinion.
Sometimes we have a bad day..and judge
Sometimes..we are human and give nice answers.
Sometimes people ask questions and then don't like the answers
Sometimes people do like the answers, even though it is not what they expected.
Sometimes people like to complain because they have no life
Sometimes people are assholes

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 5

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:26:10 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
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~fr~

No one should have ever told you that this community would be more tolerant or more highly educated about any subject than any other...whoever said that to you, was kinda fibbing.
People are people, regardless of their kinks...they all have their limitations and without the weight of eye to eye, face to face communication, anyone can be as brave or as cowardly as they choose that day.
All i know, is all my kinks are just hunky dorey....and yours terrify me....(just kidding, but you see my point) (and who knows if im kidding or not?)

On a serious note, im sorry that youre feeling out of sorts. i would pay the nay-sayers no mind and only deal with your friends...just my two cents.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to VampiresLair)

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RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:27:03 PM

oceanwynds

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Some people believe in tolerance and understanding, as well as holding these as expectations of how people should act. I still wondering why people find opinions as insulting, but then i don't get a lot of things, and will be the first to say that.

Many people in any lifestyle make a do about nothing. It is how life is and i don't expect people to act how i do.

blessings
oceanwynds

(in reply to JustDarkness)

Post #: 7

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:32:55 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

For the most part I could really care less about what anyone else does. Just makes no difference to me whatsoever but I will admit I'm not tolerant of every single choice people make. I'm not always so openminded.

Just because someone calls something a fetish or a "lifestyle" doesn't mean we should always be tolerant of it.

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 8

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:36:54 PM

CatdeMedici

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Joined: 10/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

Some people believe in tolerance and understanding, as well as holding these as expectations of how people should act. I still wondering why people find opinions as insulting, but then i don't get a lot of things, and will be the first to say that.

blessings
oceanwynds

Well put, I think the problem is people take opinions as a personal attack--so I get the whole if you put it out there, we are going to pass an opinion--I think its when we phrase it as a personal attack on the person that it gets icky--now there is a great word huh? icky! lol

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 9

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:38:35 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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psst...CatDeMedici...there are, ahem, SADISTS around here. some are subtle and smooth with it, others blatant and harsh. some go so far as to get moderated for it...or even tossed off the site. the TOS alledges that this is not the place to insult others kinks and or preferences...but it happens.

this slave has always figured it is par for the course...when dealing with sadists/masochists there will be those who absolutely crave being "crapped on"/put down/humiliated in a public forum and those who crave "crapping on"/putting down/humiliating others in a public forum.

so, to paraphrase the title of your post...if "crapping on" others/intolerance of others choices or being "crapped on"/humiliated in a public forum isn't your thing---so what?

the Mods are here to take care of such things as making the decision when the "crapping on"/being "crapped on" has gone too far...this slave certainly doesn't envy the kind of impartial discretion that must require.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 10

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:39:31 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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Ahhh....the capitalization thingy. If someone asks for an opinion on something they should be prepared for answers which might not be supportive of their point of view. The key word here is opinion. They're like assholes...everyone's got one.

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(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 11

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:40:35 PM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

it is about how the message is formulated.
how the sender broadcasts it
and how you recieve it.

if one of those has a negative sound to it...it will come across as judgemental...

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 12

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 2:48:50 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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Oh sheesh. If someone asks my opinion about something, they are going to get, just that, my opinion. If they don't want it, they shouldn't ask. Orrr, on here, they shouldn't read it.

To add to that, if something on these forums annoys or upsets a person, that person really needs to walk away from their computer. Again, my opinion.

I have no obligation to like every damned thing every other person does. None. Just like others don't have to like, or approve, of what I do. You don't like my opinions, I am totally cool with that. I am also totally cool with someone telling me so. In fact, I prefer people give me their honest opinions rather than stupid sugar coated blather.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 13

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 3:00:11 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

People shouldn't ask for opinions if they can't handle ones that differ from their own. If a thread is actually just about discussing then fine..but once you say "What are your opinions?" or "What do you think?" that opens the can of worms. That doesn't mean people should be insulting when stating their opinions but sometimes an OP can take ANY opposing opinions as personal attacks.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 14

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 3:00:11 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
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Brilliant! and a huge eye opener as well.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 15

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 3:15:29 PM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Another thing to keep in mind. Nature of intent does not always get conveyed properly via the written word.

I've been taken as being much more harsh than my intent was. Yet, I still write with much more censor, keeping that in mind. Those that know me well, personally, know me and the nature of my intent. Rarely does someone get upset. If so, they were probably already upset about something that had nothing at all to do with me and I just happened to trigger it. They also know they can work through it with me rather than having the situation continue to escalate.

I know that on here, there are many different posting styles. I've seen some posters that I like, get hugely upset at the humour of another poster, I really like. Quite simply because they didn't "get" that person's posting style and took it in a way it was not at all intended.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 12/29/2008 3:21:25 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 16

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 3:16:55 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does?

Why do people post about their 'thing' seeking validation from anonymous on-line sources?

Then there is this thread. I'm fairly confident that opinions in agreement are perceived as coming from enlightened, wisdom filled, sources with 'Kumbaya' piped in as the back-round Muzak score. On the other hand, contrary or sarcastic posts must only originate from dim witted losers whose computer chair stains represent their 'experience'.

Then again, it is impossible to "crap on"or be crapped upon, by someone on-line. You can never tell if someone mocking actively participates in the exact same practice yet is crapping on those because he/she thinks seeking validation points to a lack of confidence; a fault that requires more attention than any symptomatic issue in question.

I'm sure there are some who can speak of the merits of eating Brussels sprouts and mashed potatoes, but that doesn't mean I have to keep silent when someone tells me how great they are - beth! Meanwhile, if someone represents they make the "best" 'sauce'; I may have some sarcastic reply about their recipe and sauce in general even though I enjoy it. Besides MINE is THE BEST!

And oh yeah - like beth said - sometimes I'm just in the mood let my sadistic nature run free and post because I find a question posed similarly to seeing beth's upturned ass bent over my lap just begging for a spanking. Admittedly I'm weak and can't help but 'spank'.

Are you not entertained and amused?

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 17

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 3:25:00 PM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

There is a freedom of speech. If people choose to use that to crap on other people's fetishes or kinks then I see nothing wrong with it. People are judged by their actions and words and such a crapspeech just adds to their CV in a negative way, and that's something that they'll have to live with.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 18

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 4:07:19 PM

CatdeMedici

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Joined: 10/20/2008
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quote:

Are you not entertained and amused

Alas Merc, I must admit I do come and at times I am, at times I want to say to someone "what a bloody fucktard you are" and to others " I am sorry for your challenges" and to others "suck it up princess" as I am sure many do Me. There are days when I feel brilliant as I hear the quiet claps from the audience and others when I have been dashed and sent to the basement as some proverbial idiot--and yet I am always entertained and sadly human. I have nothing against opinions its the human trashing that at times annoys Me--and at others, well...

I will share though, as you did about beth's upturned bottom, I do have a computer image of your upturned bottom with a bullseye that I use for flogger practice when one too many insipid emails from Ghana arrives in My inbox.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 19

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/29/2008 4:42:03 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I will share though, as you did about beth's upturned bottom, I do have a computer image of your upturned bottom with a bullseye that I use for flogger practice when one too many insipid emails from Ghana arrives in My in-box.

MY "upturned bottom" hairy though it may be!

After the 100's, if not 1000s using beth's image I'm flattered to get one myself!

Although very few of my emails originate from Ghana any longer since I sold that franchise, I can understand your frustration.

There was a movie floating around here for a time that showed my bottom getting hit with a ice ball at an outside bar in Vegas that could have offered a better visual, but I don't have the time to find it. In lieu of image, and with all due respect, consider it a late Christmas present:

Take care!

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 20

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