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RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:10:16 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: chezzy71

Would i ever like to get this bunch together for a munch...what a hoot!!


Mmmmhmm, I agree. Although, some days,  I think a seat in the rafters would be the best spot to watch the entertainment.


oh bull...you would join right in with the rest of us silly assed fools!!!


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(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:15:52 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does? 
Aren't we here to have the freedom to be different?
Can't an opinion be expressed with out trashing the person who expressed it?
Just how tolerant are we?

What the Op originally posted at the beginning of the thread. It seems it is easier to be critical of others than to offer advice. When opinion becomes hurtful and negative, the recipient is labeled and dismissed.
It is always the same individuals that are so highly critical and being a well of negative opinion.
Then of course there are those that defend them which just rubs salt in the wound.
When people react they get dismissed.

Because there is little accountability to how a thread is replied to, they can be critical of others as the perception is just text in a thread.

There is good criticism that is helpful and perhaps you (mc1234) have been privy to receiving helpful criticism and positive opinion. As to others, they have not been so fortunate.

eg: I used to type 'dominant' as a generalization of those served by their 'sub/slaves', now its D or M so that certain individuals will not find offense and continue with their criticisms of my use of generalizations.

As for pushing back.
Pick me apart with your criticisms and negative opinion, just be prepared to be picked apart also. I would rather not this, but it would seem their are handful of individuals that enjoy specifics, facts, references, links and sources for every single post in a thread. If they are not satisfied with a post in a thread they become critical and thus opens the door to their negative opinion.
Not of the subject matter but of the individual posting.
Snakes in the thicket, that are almost always Rattlers.

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:18:01 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae
To say that another individual is portraying the victim or portrays themselves as 'poor me' is just as much an insult as destructive criticism and negative opinion.



Yes, please ignore that I said this:

quote:

Perhaps you don't understand the meaning of the word sarcastic.  If I was being sarcastic, then it would mean that I thought your "poor me" attitude was fitting to you, when I said the opposite.  It's not fitting, you're better than that.  You've endured a lot in your life, you've seen more heartache than a person should.  No one should have to experience the things you have. I find it sad that instead of finding the good in the advice you received, you only saw attack. And it's a shame that that colors your outlook.


It makes it so much easier to maintain your status quo.  God forbid that your impressions are wrong. 


Cali


_____________________________

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(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:23:20 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Ahhh but you see there are some of us who love to dissect some posts and because we have an interest on the matter or because some of us also have clinical minds and on a daily basis we require quotes or reference points we do so here. This is the nature of the beast and not every commentary is designed to be negative although I grant you many posts can be read as a negative comment if one has the natural propensity to do so..... Just my take on the situation.  

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:26:04 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae
Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does? 


Since I don't have the need to do so, I can't speak to it.

quote:

Aren't we here to have the freedom to be different?


Nope - I'm here to (1) find a M/s relationship; and (2) enjoy the boards.

quote:

Can't an opinion be expressed with out trashing the person who expressed it?


Yup - and it is most times. 

quote:

Just how tolerant are we?


I dunno - how tolerant are you?  I'm fairly tolerant.  If I disagree I tend to shut my mouth about it unless I feel on very solid ground.  But I'm a quiet one, and don't like to cause a fuss. 

quote:

Because there is little accountability to how a thread is replied to, they can be critical of others as the perception is just text in a thread.


Actually, I think the boards are mod'ed quite well.

quote:

There is good criticism that is helpful and perhaps you (mc1234) have been privy to receiving helpful criticism and positive opinion. As to others, they have not been so fortunate.


Ah, where is a mirror when it is needed? 

quote:

eg: I used to type 'dominant' as a generalization of those served by their 'sub/slaves', now its D or M so that certain individuals will not find offense and continue with their criticisms of my use of generalizations.


That's just silly - if someone is going to get upset because I call their dominant 'dom' or 'master' and it's the other term they use - they're just having a bad day and need to move on.  I wouldn't change my personal behavior for that.

quote:

As for pushing back.
Pick me apart with your criticisms and negative opinion, just be prepared to be picked apart also. I would rather not this, but it would seem their are handful of individuals that enjoy specifics, facts, references, links and sources for every single post in a thread. If they are not satisfied with a post in a thread they become critical and thus opens the door to their negative opinion.
Not of the subject matter but of the individual posting.
Snakes in the thicket, that are almost always Rattlers.


If this is truly how you feel, why continue on here?  That is a sincere question.  I wouldn't continue to visit a place that feels as hostile to me as the boards obviously do to you. 

(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:27:56 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		We'd spend three years and 322 pages arguing about a venue.

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(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:30:24 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		There is a huge difference in saying that I think that doing something like capitalization is ridiculous as oppsed to saying that I think that someone who does capitalization is ridiculous.  Can you see the difference? 

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(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:34:16 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

We'd spend three years and 322 pages arguing about a venue.


Hah!  That's probably a conservative estimate. 

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:34:36 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

We'd spend three years and 322 pages arguing about a venue.


Take it to the Jerry Springer Show, or should it be the Springing Jerry Show. If in South Africa we could call it the Jerry Springbok Show too..


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:46:15 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

There is a huge difference in saying that I think that doing something like capitalization is ridiculous as opposed to saying that I think that someone who does capitalization is ridiculous.  Can you see the difference? 


Somehow I think that finer point is wasted. There are alot of things that people do that I find rediculous. It has very little to do with how I view the person. I am quite aware that there are things I do that others find rediculous. I am perfectly fine with that.

Example: My favourite Xmas gift. An inexpensive set of Jungle Book figurines that are meant to be a child's toy. My daughter saw them, and thought of me and my lifetime love of the movie. (It was the first movie I saw in a theatre)

I am fully aware that many people would find my joy in those inexpensive little figures sublimely rediculous. Hell, I think it's pretty rediculously funny. But, big fucking deal. I still love the gift and the smile they bring to my face.

Tease and torment me about it all you want. It won't ruin my joy in them nor will I get the least little bit upset about the teasing.

Some people need to stop taking every damned thing as a personal attack.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:47:45 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		Amen!  Life is too friggin' short ...

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:50:16 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Tease and torment me about it all you want.


Freak.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:51:26 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		The point that I am trying to make.
Think carefully about the words chosen or be prepared to get what you dish out.
Initially my posts were of good intent when I first offered my opinion. Instead of being added to and improved upon. They were met with criticism and negative opinion. It just seems to me that is all anyone seems to want is to instill negativity in others and make others feel bad about themselves just so they can feel all the more superior.
Being a submissive my self, I would have expected constructive advice and helpful opinion. Instead like so many others, I am sure, its just the opposite.

If others are only going to instill negativity by destructive criticism and opinion.

I am drawing the line in the sand.

People come here for insight and advice because they are new to the lifestyle.
Instead they get shot down before they even get off the ground.

I am quite sure if I go back far enough in the threads that those that are so critical of others and are quick with negative opinion. Do not have that right as they are above no one to be in a position of judgment.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:52:08 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		People have certain "hot spots" about things.  I'm not bothered much by the kinks stuff being judged.  But I get hot under the collar when people put down NJ as being some kind of dump.  Go figure.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:53:36 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

People have certain "hot spots" about things.  I'm not bothered much by the kinks stuff being judged.  But I get hot under the collar when people put down NJ as being some kind of dump.  Go figure.


And you call me a freak........(insert eye roll)


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:55:16 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

People have certain "hot spots" about things.  I'm not bothered much by the kinks stuff being judged.  But I get hot under the collar when people put down NJ as being some kind of dump.  Go figure.


How??? When it contains BOTH of us???

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(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:56:00 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

People have certain "hot spots" about things.  I'm not bothered much by the kinks stuff being judged.  But I get hot under the collar when people put down NJ as being some kind of dump.  Go figure.


How??? When it contains BOTH of us???


Hey ... me too!  lol 

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:56:14 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Haven't read all of the posts on this but, from my perspective only, I don't inherently give a person crap or trash what they're into if it's something I'm not into or that I don't findparticularly appealing.  A given act may not appeal to me but I find human sexuality intensely interesting and am generally curious about what people are into and what makes something appealing to them.  It's interesting to learn about others as well as self. 
  Davan

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:56:37 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Some of my best life lessons were learned by having my faults pointed out for me.  Sometimes we become blind to the obvious.

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(in reply to Aszhrae)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? - 12/30/2008 12:56:50 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: chezzy71

Would i ever like to get this bunch together for a munch...what a hoot!!


Mmmmhmm, I agree. Although, some days,  I think a seat in the rafters would be the best spot to watch the entertainment.


oh bull...you would join right in with the rest of us silly assed fools!!!



And..........yeahhhh.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 80
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