RE: If it isn't your thing--so what?

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (Full Version)

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MmeGigs -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 4:48:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Just because someone calls something a fetish or a "lifestyle" doesn't mean we should always be tolerant of it. I'd agree that slapping a "fetish" or "lifestyle" label on something doesn't make it automatically OK, but if we're talking about stuff that folks are doing with other risk-aware, consenting adults, then I think that we should always be tolerant. Being tolerant doesn't mean you have to become a cheerleader for stuff that icks you out, it just means that you accept that you don't get to decide for other consenting adults what's okay and what's not. It's perfectly fine to say, "I would never do that." It's another thing altogether to say, "Nobody should ever do that."

utopicus -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 5:35:55 PM)
Very few people out there have the decency to comment on "something" that they do not embrace with delicacy and courtesy. Manners are rara avis, politeness is seen as decadent, therefore to be avoided - what a world! Some have the perception on themselves that they are open-minded and non-judgemental, but will not miss any opportunity to clamour their belief and then to slam one's face should they are told otherwise. It's a jungle, isn't it? Shame.

oceanwynds -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 5:51:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici quote: ORIGINAL: oceanwynds Some people believe in tolerance and understanding, as well as holding these as expectations of how people should act. I still wondering why people find opinions as insulting, but then i don't get a lot of things, and will be the first to say that. blessings oceanwynds Well put, I think the problem is people take opinions as a personal attack--so I get the whole if you put it out there, we are going to pass an opinion--I think its when we phrase it as a personal attack on the person that it gets icky--now there is a great word huh? icky! lol oh i like icky...smiles Yes I have to bite my lip or in this case fingers when i see insults being thrown around, but after biting down hard i cool off.

mummyman321 -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 5:53:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does? Aren't we here to have the freedom to be different? Can't an opinion be expressed with out trashing the person who expressed it? Just how tolerant are we? Kink on! If you have not tried something do not knock it until you have. Everyone has their own like/dislikes and we should all respect that. Personally, I feel variety is the spice of life. If I have not tried something I am generally willing to give it a try. And I will never knock another person's kink!

DesFIP -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 6:07:17 PM)
Just because I may disagree doesn't mean I am putting others down. If they interpret any response other than total approval as being crapped on, then that's their problem. Not mine. Sometimes I think people need to hear "Get back on your horse and ride" as opposed to "oh you poor dear". If they don't want opinions, then they should be clear as to their intent and state they are in need of sympathy and pity. Because when you do put up a post saying "I am feeling full of self pity and need pats on the back" you tend to get that. But if instead you put up a post asking for advice yet have a secret agenda of only wanting to hear how you are right and your partner is wrong, don't expect to get that. People have a nasty habit of asking for stuff they don't want and getting huffy when they get what they asked for. And that's not my problem.

BondageBarbieX -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 8:10:37 PM)
I actually do not care what others kinks or fetishes are ,nothing shocks me anymore .The only things I do not tolerate are people that do animals or kids.I will not play nice with them.

CalifChick -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 10:23:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does? Aren't we here to have the freedom to be different? Can't an opinion be expressed with out trashing the person who expressed it? Just how tolerant are we? Seriously? All this angst over someone saying "capitalize dominants" and "lowercase subs/slaves"? Do you really feel that as a person, you were crapped on or "trashed"??? Saying "I think the practice is a load of crap" is hardly trashing you as a person. Cali

Aszhrae -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 10:40:24 PM)
I know for fact, inviting another individuals criticism is an invitation to be raked through the coals and possibly crucified just because some people get off on that sort of thing. Never ask for another individuals opinion as you may just find your self at the receiving end of someone taking it upon them selves to be judge, jury and executioner. I found out such the hard way and tend to avoid such invitations. Sometimes I think it is possible that some individuals require that you have a PhD in BDSM, D/s or M/s and a Doctorate in Protocol as they tend to want blood if all your dots just don't seem to connect together as they perceive they should. Most of the time I avoid the serious issues now and refrain from starting threads. The literacy police are about and facts investigation committee is highly active. Do I care what other people think. Most of the time I do. But to those that do not have a nice thing to say about anyone. They know where they can stick their dildo.

CalifChick -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 10:45:08 PM)
The "poor me, I've been so victimized" attitude doesn't become you. Cali

AMaster -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 10:47:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does? Aren't we here to have the freedom to be different? Can't an opinion be expressed with out trashing the person who expressed it? Just how tolerant are we? Do you have some specific instance in mind??

Aszhrae -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 10:49:24 PM)
Spare me giggles Goddess of Sarcasm, you come by that title naturally. I would say something else but I would probably get moderated so I will not, but you might have an idea.

GreedyTop -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 10:50:43 PM)
somehow, I dont think she was being sarcastic.

Aszhrae -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 11:17:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AMaster quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does? Aren't we here to have the freedom to be different? Can't an opinion be expressed with out trashing the person who expressed it? Just how tolerant are we? Do you have some specific instance in mind?? Oh yes, be specific, you must dot your i's and cross your t's. Your literary skills might also get a thrashing. What it comes down to is no seems to really give a damn about the fact their are actual people at their monitors from around the world here. They could not give two shakes of a dog's tail that you are a real person with real feelings. They speak of tolerance, but it seems that only the moderators are tolerant about content of the threads. Those that have been here the longest and have enjoyed relationships that were successful very rarely offer any advice but are most certainly the first to offer negative opinion, criticism, and general bash other peoples credibility. That seems to be their only purpose. Be sure to get your facts right, the investigations committee might also be present to check your resources. No one really seems to have anything good to say. Guess the only living creature is them at the computer, everyone else is just here to entertain them and who really gives a damn who they hurt, humiliate or disrespect by their words. The pen is mightier than the sword

IronBear -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/29/2008 11:24:13 PM)
Fetish and Lifestyle often get treated by non participants in much the same way as do Cults. Now Cults have an interesting history, Christianity, Buddhism and Islam to name three all started off being referred to and treated as Cults and they have not just survived, but become mainstream Religions. I am not suggesting that Fetishes or Lifestyles will follow the same path, but they can in time become more acceptable as people learn about them and they last. No one is going to be universally accepted, liked and even respected by the CM population. Like others here there are a couple of posters I don’t particularly like even though they do occasionally post something I enjoy and agree with. That is human nature. It is so easy to exercise self control and ignore a subject, ignore or block a poster or just read on and have a chuckle. On the other hand, when receiving negative and even derogatory posts about an opinion, belief, fetish, or lifestyle, you could convert the negativity into a positive by using it as a critique on how you or the subject comes across to some folk or even how you present the subject and look at improving your methodology or correcting any issues you feel need strengthening.

Viridana -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:10:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX I actually do not care what others kinks or fetishes are ,nothing shocks me anymore .The only things I do not tolerate are people that do animals or kids.I will not play nice with them. Agreed!

Aszhrae -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:16:23 AM)
quote: On the other hand, when receiving negative and even derogatory posts about an opinion, belief, fetish, or lifestyle, you could convert the negativity into a positive by using it as a critique on how you or the subject comes across to some folk or even how you present the subject and look at improving your methodology or correcting any issues you feel need strengthening. Hmph. Initially when I first joined CM. My original profile was said to be playing upon people's sympathies. So it was changed, but the real fact, it doesn't change the truth. I am still out on my ear in 9 months, be it I find a mistress or not. I used to speak in the third person when initially here, but found that no liked that and preferred someone to speak 'vanilla' using the 'ego' singular. I still don't like it but eventually I grew tired of the criticism and the negative opinion concerning such that others found cute. Namely changed it because IronBear didn't like it and he has earned my respect. Now I have changed my profile four times since coming here and damn if I will do so again. Anyone have a problem with my profile now, keep your negative opinion and (supposed friendly) chastisement to your self. You are comfortable with your present relationship. How about offering advice and be constructive in your assistance of others? It is always the same people with their negative opinion and critique of others. How about offering guidance instead?

GreedyTop -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:17:49 AM)
who the hell is talking about your profile? You spout negativity, you get it back. IMO, there have been very few posts you've made that HAVENT had at least SOME hint of "poor me" in them. Frankly, it's an old, tired song. Take Cali's last post to heart. Take IBs last post to heart. And get over your victim attitude.

Aileen1968 -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:20:11 AM)
fast reply Do people really get that upset if they don't get some sort of validation from strangers on a website? If your answer is yes, then it's time to turn off the computer. Seriously.

GreedyTop -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:22:38 AM)
adores Aileen

Aszhrae -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:39:06 AM)
It was in reference to the quote of something IronBear stated in his post about improving methodology and correcting issues. Others have criticized, given their negative opinion, so instead of just continuing to do what I wanted, I changed my profile to what others expected to find within a profile. But I will be damned before I change it again. Now I can not name names of those that never have good thing to say about anyone except of those that have been here forever that seem to be so above the rest of us and can do no wrong. But GreedyTop, you already know who they are. I am tired of getting pushed, so I am pushing back. They started it and by damn I don't think I should have to take it any longer. If someone does not have something nice to say about me or any of my friends because that is how they get their jollies then I will defend my self and my friends. As it would seem its always the same people with the negativity and its always the same people that post in their defense. Constructive criticism is always welcome, but that is not the criticism that I read. Or shall I quote from elsewhere in this thread about how others take it upon themselves to take people apart. Are they so unhappy with their lives that they have to make other peoples lives miserable, instill others with self-doubt, just so they can get that feeling of fulfillment? If you can't see it, why even comment?

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