RE: If it isn't your thing--so what?

RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (Full Version)

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GreedyTop -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:43:42 AM)
If you only want to hear happy stuff, then stick to emailing people whowill give you that. If you post on the forums, expect to not always get "oh you poor thing".

Lordandmaster -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:58:11 AM)
All that holiday food. People really need to purge. Edited to add: Wow, I didn't see that I walked right into another train-wreck thread. quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does?

Aszhrae -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:58:23 AM)
That is not why I post in a thread. If you honestly think that GT then you have certainly missed the boat. But if negativity seems to be all that is understood, then that is what will be given back. As for me being perceived as a victim or wanting your sympathy, spare me. Your words mean squat because you offer little aid or insight. Instead your posts defend those that only post negativity, criticism or chastise others. Contributing to making others feel like crap.

GreedyTop -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 1:03:59 AM)
nm...

susie -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 2:09:51 AM)
FR It always amazes me how many people do not realise or forget that if you start a thread or post a response to a thread on a forum you are opening yourself up to comment be that good or bad. If you really cannot take criticism you should stick to posting somewhere where responses are not possible. Everyone has their own opinions and even if you do not like the response you get sometimes much can be learnt from those responses.

T1981 -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 4:11:19 AM)
I was just mentioning that to a friend the other day, about what makes it easier for me to not judge other people's kinks. It's the consentuality clause - since so much of the BDSM world, if not the whole thing, turns on consent, then I know I don't have to worry about doing things that I don't like. That makes it easier for me to just let others "live and let live" as it were. I once lived with a man who was very much into watersports and scat play (not my cup of tea) but that was fine, since he didn't insist that I join in. Made it all the easier for me to be happy about him getting his jollies without having to really judge them.

LaTigresse -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 4:12:13 AM)
Mofo! There must be alot of people on here that got coal in their stockings this year!! Come on people, go on a caribbean vacation, get a colonic, go for a walk.............do something!! I keep reading about all the negativity and lack of constructive information when I see the opposite. Since I have been here I've gotten to know some awesome people. I've learned a ton. I've gained respect for people that I quite often do not agree with. AND I have laughed so hard I've, snorted various liquids through my nose, spattered 3 different computers, and almost fallen off a stool (not the porcelain one) once. So, given that. I have to think it is similar to something my grandmother used to say. Something like "If you are only going to look for the bad, that is all you will see. But, if you are intent upon looking for the good, then you will find it." Sooooooo, I am going to say that if you are only seeing negative words, it's pretty much on you. Because I wouldn't keep coming back here if that was what I saw.

sirsholly -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 4:21:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop If you only want to hear happy stuff, then stick to emailing people whowill give you that. If you post on the forums, expect to not always get "oh you poor thing". agreed. And for the record, Greedy is one of the most POSITIVE posters on these forums.....

Jeptha -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 11:11:40 AM)
I think some of it has to do with coming from different background and traditions that use some of the same activities and terminology but place different emphasis on them.

mc1234 -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 11:20:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aszhrae Those that have been here the longest and have enjoyed relationships that were successful very rarely offer any advice but are most certainly the first to offer negative opinion, criticism, and general bash other peoples credibility. That seems to be their only purpose. I must disagree here. I've been reading the boards for almost two years now, and participating off and on, under this screenname and a previous one. While the snark level can get high at times, more often than not those who post are sincere, including the 'regulars'. I may not always agree with them, but I've learned quite a lot. The old 'woe is me' line just doesn't cut it with me - not in real life, and not here online either. Edited to add to the OP: I can see where it might sting to have something you enjoy called nonsense by others, but shrug and let it roll off your back. Life is much easier that way. [:)]

Aszhrae -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 11:43:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mc1234 quote: ORIGINAL: Aszhrae Those that have been here the longest and have enjoyed relationships that were successful very rarely offer any advice but are most certainly the first to offer negative opinion, criticism, and general bash other peoples credibility. That seems to be their only purpose. I must vehemently disagree here. I've been reading the boards for almost two years now, and participating off and on, under this screenname and a previous one. While the snark level can get high at times, more often than not those who post are sincere, including the 'regulars'. I may not always agree with them, but I've learned quite a lot. The old 'woe is me' line just doesn't cut it with me - not in real life, and not here online either. What do you suggest mc1234? Of the criticism and negative opinion that is most commonly read in threads are those of submissives and slaves. The dominants and masters/mistresses that do reply to a thread, do so constructively. What annoys me the most is those that step forward in support of such critical and negative behavior that they actually defend it. To say that another individual is portraying the victim or portrays themselves as 'poor me' is just as much an insult as destructive criticism and negative opinion. Some states a criticism that is very much a lash out. The recipient defends themselves. The criticism and negative opinion is defended. The defendant is labeled a victim because they make it known that they have offended. At which point, both the individual that was so critical in a nasty manner and the one that defended the negative opinion, dismisses the one that was insulted. If you are so happy with the relationship with your D or M that you confess to be. I would guess that you are not really all that happy, if you you have to make other people feel lousy with your negative criticism and opinion. If you were so happy with the relationship with your D or M, you would offer constructive criticism and insight as to how your relationship became so successful to those that are new to the lifestyle or having difficulty. I suppose its just easier to make people feel lousy about themselves and dismiss them when they become upset.

LaTigresse -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 11:51:41 AM)
What part of MC's post did you perceive as negative or critical? Because I didn't see it that way at all.

mc1234 -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 11:54:56 AM)
Well, Aszhrae ... I suggest that I don't see the criticisms that you do, and I read the boards daily. I've had my ups and downs in relationships. I don't share too much personal info on here just because I'm a more private person. Some posters are more blunt, but that's not being critical - that's just their style. I dunno - your previous post on this thread tells of the ways you've changed your profile, your manner of speech, etc. - all to satisfy others on the boards. I just don't get that. But I do see posters all the time sharing their lives and experiences. I just don't see all the negativity you do. Maybe I'm a pollyanna. [;)]

Aszhrae -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 11:57:30 AM)
Asking mc1234 suggest a course of action towards what seems to exist in most threads with the same people.

chezzy71 -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:02:07 PM)
Would i ever like to get this bunch together for a munch...what a hoot!!

mc1234 -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:02:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aszhrae Asking mc1234 suggest a course of action towards what seems to exist in most threads with the same people. I always hate this advice when it's given to me, but it's mostly been accurate when it's been given - if something is a problem a lot of the time, perhaps it's not the other people involved, but it's me with the issue.

IronBear -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:02:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aszhrae It was in reference to the quote of something IronBear stated in his post about improving methodology and correcting issues. Was I, Aszhrae, commenting on your post regarding your profile? I most certainly was not! Had I been doing so I would have addressed you within the body of what I wrote. If you care to go back and check the bottom of my post you will see this: (in reply to CalifChick). In fact I had not even read your post at that time. If you read my post in full, it should be evident that I was, as I often do, addressing the general readership of this thread. In fact, were to really want to comment on your post and/or profile, I would have contacted you privately in order to keep things off the public forum and mayhap avoid embarrassment. Something you could have done if you believed I had criticized you instead of attracting all this attention by others. Hopefully this clears up this situation. quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Fetish and Lifestyle often get treated by non participants in much the same way as do Cults. Now Cults have an interesting history, Christianity, Buddhism and Islam to name three all started off being referred to and treated as Cults and they have not just survived, but become mainstream Religions. I am not suggesting that Fetishes or Lifestyles will follow the same path, but they can in time become more acceptable as people learn about them and they last. No one is going to be universally accepted, liked and even respected by the CM population. Like others here there are a couple of posters I don’t particularly like even though they do occasionally post something I enjoy and agree with. That is human nature. It is so easy to exercise self control and ignore a subject, ignore or block a poster or just read on and have a chuckle. On the other hand, when receiving negative and even derogatory posts about an opinion, belief, fetish, or lifestyle, you could convert the negativity into a positive by using it as a critique on how you or the subject comes across to some folk or even how you present the subject and look at improving your methodology or correcting any issues you feel need strengthening.

Aileen1968 -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:05:28 PM)
I didn't see anything negative in mc's post at all... Having a difference of opinion or perhaps being able to see something more clearly (i.e the woe is me factor) doesn't make someone critical.

LaTigresse -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:06:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mc1234 quote: ORIGINAL: Aszhrae Asking mc1234 suggest a course of action towards what seems to exist in most threads with the same people. I always hate this advice when it's given to me, but it's mostly been accurate when it's been given - if something is a problem a lot of the time, perhaps it's not the other people involved, but it's me with the issue. I believe that is probably a very accurate assessment in this case. All too often we project what is inside us, onto others.

LaTigresse -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 12:07:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chezzy71 Would i ever like to get this bunch together for a munch...what a hoot!! Mmmmhmm, I agree. Although, some days, I think a seat in the rafters would be the best spot to watch the entertainment.

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