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RCdc -> RE: If it isn't your thing--so what? (12/30/2008 1:11:07 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Aszhrae
Why is it when we see someone write about a practice, fetish that we do not practice, use, believe in--we feel the need to crap on it and the person who does?
Because some people are like that. I wouldn't concern yourself over it.
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Aren't we here to have the freedom to be different?
Some people are. Personally, Master and I aren't.
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Can't an opinion be expressed with out trashing the person who expressed it?
Again, some people do it. It's a minority, not the majority. The best question you can ask yourself is why do you allow it to get to you?
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Just how tolerant are we?
No more tolerant than the next man. Don't be under the impression that just because we(generic) are here that we(generic) are any more tolerant - including yourself.
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What the Op originally posted at the beginning of the thread. It seems it is easier to be critical of others than to offer advice.
Don't offer advice nor expect it. Honestly, CM isn't an advice column with people who have degrees or professionals in mental behaviours, or relationship counsellors. People might claim it and be it in actuality, but don;t rely on this as factual. It's not a BDSM advice forum, it's a discussion forum. Much of the time, this is forgotton.
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When opinion becomes hurtful and negative, the recipient is labeled and dismissed.
Then don't let that touch or impact you. You the only one who can give anyone that contol over your feelings.
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It is always the same individuals that are so highly critical and being a well of negative opinion.
Then, recognise the pattern and chalk it up to them being that way. And move on. Let it go. Otherwise you are simply giving them the authority over your reactions.
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Then of course there are those that defend them which just rubs salt in the wound.
When people react they get dismissed.
Again, stand back, consider the source and ignore the rest. Your the only person who can allow your feelings to be negative.
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Because there is little accountability to how a thread is replied to, they can be critical of others as the perception is just text in a thread.
The accountability is the moderators. But regardless of them, you are accountable to yourself. You really want to play the same game as a minority?
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There is good criticism that is helpful and perhaps you (mc1234) have been privy to receiving helpful criticism and positive opinion. As to others, they have not been so fortunate.
eg: I used to type 'dominant' as a generalization of those served by their 'sub/slaves', now its D or M so that certain individuals will not find offense and continue with their criticisms of my use of generalizations.
I wouldn't change my writings for anyone unless I felt it made communication easier. You have responsibility over your own behaviour and actions, including written ones. If someone gets pissed - their issue. Unless they impact your life in some way... bugger them(god I am so british).[;)]
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As for pushing back.
Pick me apart with your criticisms and negative opinion, just be prepared to be picked apart also. I would rather not this, but it would seem their are handful of individuals that enjoy specifics, facts, references, links and sources for every single post in a thread. If they are not satisfied with a post in a thread they become critical and thus opens the door to their negative opinion.
Not of the subject matter but of the individual posting.
Snakes in the thicket, that are almost always Rattlers.
Maybe you will take this as a criticism, but why act in the way that makes you feel horrible when someone does it to you? Why not try to be a 'better' person? Why not learn patience instead? You began the post here, promoting tolerance - why not be the change and the example?
I do trust you take my words in good spirit.
the.dark.
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