RE: Deeply Troubled (Full Version)

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GreedyTop -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/4/2009 6:55:08 PM)

*adores Stella even more*



ShellyD -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/4/2009 7:28:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

The other door has more to do with my heritage, my father's mother was metis and there is an office here that provides assistance to those of native heritage.
I have been paying attention and I have not been completely stagnate. I have been taking care of things at my end.



Just a general comment; Assisstance for those of native heritance is for those who have been directly disadvantaged because of thier race, not a free for all grab. I have seen it in Australia, having had aboriginal friends and seeing the disadvantages they deal with as a result of their race/color, and hearing of people with a smidge of aboriginal blood way back from settlers times, and that having no direct effect on them claiming as many grants, allowances etc as they could. It pisses me off, the money is there for those that need it and rarely makes it to those in need, it gets wasted in excessive administration and bogus claimants. Grrr,

As to OP, from reading your posts it seems you are being active in your progression to independance from the situation you are facing re issue of gender and homelife. I am totally independant in living alone for many years, yes it gets lonely, but no reason to surrender to taking 'anything' to have your life run by another, it feels good to stand on your own two feet, a great self esteem boost.



MadAxeman -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/4/2009 10:05:32 PM)

Good luck for the furure Aszhrae.
Although being male, of course you should suspect my motives.



Viridana -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 12:30:32 AM)

Stella, I have to say what I've been thinking for a long time now.....you're an awesome woman. 



Aszhrae -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 12:43:36 AM)

quote:

Just a general comment; Assisstance for those of native heritance is for those who have been directly disadvantaged because of thier race, not a free for all grab. I have seen it in Australia, having had aboriginal friends and seeing the disadvantages they deal with as a result of their race/color, and hearing of people with a smidge of aboriginal blood way back from settlers times, and that having no direct effect on them claiming as many grants, allowances etc as they could. It pisses me off, the money is there for those that need it and rarely makes it to those in need, it gets wasted in excessive administration and bogus claimants. Grrr,


Actually ShellyD,
Its not about that, it has more to do with finding employment opportunities by using the service that they offer. Natives here are just as discriminated against by employers as TGs. As for my native heritage, it was my grandmother and she was born in Grand Prairie. It was my father's right, my sister's and mine as well. The assistance was always there but never consulted. Since I am to try to adapt to fending for my self. I am willing to consult with any of the service available to me to help me curtail the discrimination based upon gender that I have already encountered. Not looking for money, but there is a distinct possibility might be able to get some training or find and employer that is willing to train. I will not know unless I try.




ALAstella -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 6:32:22 AM)

Here's hoping you get something Aszh, I will keep my fingers crossed.

Only you're not trying to adapt to fending for yourself, you are adapting to fending for yourself. You can do it Aszh, I believe in you, and I'm sure there's others here who think the same and who are also prepared to believe in you.

Please also remember that telling people directly that you're afraid, vulnerable and need help is far better than lashing out and getting angry. You're going to get more than enough idiots in your life who are going to try to create conflicts, you don't need to start any of your own.

Yes there is discrimination based upon gender, but by communicating in a positive manner as above and as you're starting to post more and more you keep that discrimination at a minimum. Lots of people may not understand what you're going through, they may not be able to imagine what it's like to be transgendered, but they all know what it feels like to be a human. By showing that more positive, human side of Aszhrae, you encourage others to show their more human, positive qualities.

Keep working on it Aszh, you're doing fine, and witnessing you come out of yourself has to be one of the most beautiful things to witness on these boards for some time.

You're the chrysalis, now it's time to be the butterfly.




LaTigresse -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 6:56:17 AM)

What a beautiful post Stella.

And yes Aszhrae, keep up the good work. We really are rooting for you, whether you believe it or not.



Aszhrae -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 3:17:13 PM)

Well I passed today. Would you believe it was suggested that I become a flag girl. Damnit, I can build circles around most of these site bastards.
Grrrr.
Male Chauvinistic Pigs
Uggggh!!!!!
If it isn't one thing its another.
I made my self look to female today. If you can believe it. They didn't want me to get hurt on the building site.
I was just fuming after that interview.



mc1234 -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 3:28:19 PM)

Yikes - I'm sorry - surely you must see the irony here!  Congrats on the interview, tho!

so .... are you going to be a flag girl then?  Work your way up from there? 



hlen5 -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 3:34:47 PM)

Aszhrae,

I'm sorry you got frustrated today, but Congrats on your interview!!!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.!

Helen



Aszhrae -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 3:40:29 PM)

By the Goddess, no way.
I have a few appointments lined up for tomorrow. One has to do with skills assessment to determine what additional training (if any) I might need.
Love to get into fashion retail but they all want 2-3 years experience. Yet they were complaining all throughout the year how there was a lack of labor in retail positions. They are really being stingy.
Maybe I should see about some cashier training.
It would certainly fill out my closet. *giggles*

-------------------------------------------------

Had a chance to speak to Miss this morning. She figured that if I was kept out of Sir's reach I could actually accomplish something without being put down all the time.
Told you all I was paying attention, but there was not much I could during the holidays because everyone that I needed to speak to were still on holidays.
The native assistance for finding employment was of little help. But that's okay, I am sure there are other doors that can be opened. Not the end of the world. Not yet anyways.




GreedyTop -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 4:43:18 PM)

glad to hear things are progressing for you Aszhrae! Keep it up!



SassySarijane -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 4:44:49 PM)

Congrats on taking that step!



mc1234 -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 4:57:59 PM)

Wow, all positive news, Aszhrae ... love the new avatar too. 

I'm surprised the shops are being so selective - but I did hear they weren't taking in the extra Christmas help they usually do because sales were down, and some of the bigger department stores in our mall were closed when th rest of the mall were open late hours because it wasn't worth the overhead to open.  I'd suggest keep applying at the stores, tho - the smaller ones plus the bigger chains.  I don't know what you have there, but I'd think something would be available for a beginner.

Definitely a plus for the wardrobe!  [:)]

(kudos to the Mistress too!)




Aszhrae -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 5:15:06 PM)

I am just happy that Miss is running interference between me and Sir.
Still required to keep my interaction with Sir to a minimum well I get my head on straight and do what needs to be done. The months ahead are going to be busy.
Need to stay out of the malls. They're not very healthy places for me since they put chlorine in the fountains to prevent algae and scum. Would love to find a public pool that uses either salinization or ionization. Much rather work on my middle swimming than doing stomach crunches.
Would love a boutique that sold goth or harajuku-type clothing. If I worked in a retail outlet like that, I would be in heaven. A Danier outlet, I would be wet daily.



oceanwynds -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 7:09:23 PM)

Good Girl, Aszhrae
You starting to believe in yourself. Give yourself a lot of hugs and pats on your back.

blessed be
oceanwynds



KatyLied -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/5/2009 7:34:09 PM)

quote:

I have a few appointments lined up for tomorrow. One has to do with skills assessment to determine what additional training (if any) I might need.


Wonderful news.  I am happy for you and glad to see that you are taking these steps and moving forward.

ack spell edit



WyldHrt -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/6/2009 12:05:11 AM)

quote:

I made my self look to female today. If you can believe it. They didn't want me to get hurt on the building site.
I was just fuming after that interview.

Honestly Aszh, this happens quite frequently in fields where employees are traditionally male. Some people will always think that that certain jobs "aren't for girls" and act accordingly. Don't let it get you down, lots of us have had to deal with the same thing when looking for jobs.

On another note and despite the outcome, congrats on the interview! As others have said, it's awesome to see you putting yourself out there and moving forward. If I'm not mistaken, I also saw you giggle at something a poster wrote in not-too-serious thread, and it made me smile to see you finding the lighter side of this place.



Aszhrae -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/6/2009 1:11:53 AM)

I will just have to get used to the fact that I don't belong in a man's world anymore. That is the purpose of the skill assessment. They want to see if I have any transferable skills within a more female friendly field of employment.
Do you believe such a crap?
Like Miss told me over dinner. Don't allow it to get me down. Figure out what you want to do and just do it. Wish surprised me all to hell, I almost choked on a mouthful of potatoes. Miss is usually telling me what to do.



SassySarijane -> RE: Deeply Troubled (1/6/2009 5:35:21 AM)

That's damn good advice too. You've made the start to independence and self sufficency. Remember, that first step is always the hardest and scariest. Once you take it, you're past the initial unknown factor that makes it so scarey and generally become better able to deal with and handle the subsequent steps and bumps. I'm so glad you took that step. I'd hoped you would, I think we all hoped you would.



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