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robertolapiedra -> RE: Is anal a must for all Doms???? (1/2/2009 10:29:59 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bamagirl4u
I am curious? Can no anal be a hard limit for subs? Recently, I got an email from a Dom that said he would "stretch" my asshole until I could take his fist in it. I thought about it, I have seen pictures and videos of fisting in the anus, but never really thought it was something I desired. Would a Dom even consider a submissive that does not like anal? If I were collared and trusted my Dom and He insisted, would I do it? I just don't know. Are there any subs that do anal but really don't want to. It seems to be a "must" on most of the e-mails I get on here. Thanks all for your information. Oh, and I have had anal sex, the stretching and pain were intense for me, and I was nervous so I am sure I tightened up like a vice grip--needless to say he loved it, and me, not so much....
Hello bamagirl4u. First, I think there is a great difference between an ''E-mail dom'' and a real person discussing intimacy with you when the relationship really becomes intimate. Your sampling does not reflect real interactions between consenting adults. There are many female who like anal sex and some of them have male partners that are not very into the A kink.
Second, bad experiences or unintentional consequences do happen, and this not only with an anus but with all parts of the anatomy. The experience of painful stretching that is ''loved'' by the dominant is rarely sought after (unless it is a SM thing that is enjoyable in a pain kink). Most women who love anal do not like painful stretching and to turn into a vice grip. Most doms would rather do anal with a partner that actually enjoys the kink.
In my case, I can enjoy A on occasion but I am not obsessed with all the symbolism attached to the kink on a submissive level. On the order hand, my sub likes to get off on A (fisting) and she says that she gets best quality orgasms this way. With time, since I like to see her get off, the frequency increased from what ''I'' would normally do with past sex partners.
In this lifestyle there is no need to be uber submissive to anyone nor uber dominant. If it feels good and your partner is consenting, then do it. If it does not feel good and you are no masochist? that could be a limit. It also could be ineptness, selfish consideration or disregard for the other's sexuality. If I were you, I would not put much into the E-mail stuff. If you do not do anal, it is simply not your kink. I think you are part of the majority of women on this planet which may do mild A on very rare occasions but are not simply into it. Don't worry about the doms, we know that only a minority a women ''really'' enjoy anal sex. Mature doms don't expect this to be automatic in a reality DS context. Hope this helped. RL.
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