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Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 1:38:09 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		( I am not making an generalization here, however I have heard the following statement an awful lot in both online and real community activities and seen it demonstrated with more than a tad of hostility at dungeons.)
 
" Straight Male dominants have no use for male submissives"--so here is the scenario:
 
Its a new year, time for new beginnings, at your yearly party last night ( you being a Male Dominant)---your best friend, life long college roommate, football season ticket holder buddy confesses he has to make a radical change in his life--he has to be what he always wanted to be--submissive to a woman, he has someone he can finally express this side with and he is ready to embrace it. Your reaction is:
 
Feel differently? Look at him differently? Lump in your throat? Treat him differently?
 
Do you feel as the quote above states? If so why, if not why not?
 
 
 
<puts on Her flame retardent coat>
 
 
 

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 1:48:37 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		I don't care one way or another. If he is happy, cool. As long as it doesn't completely alter the dynamic between us, I can't see a problem. I don't understand male submissiveness, but then there is a lot in this world I don't understand. I don't expect everyone to be the same. That would be very boring. Besides, maybe that will leave a lady who is submissive for me. .
Everyone has to walk their own path. I have enough trouble finding my way.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 2:43:30 PM   
jakelogan01


Posts: 71
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		my reaction? arm around his shoulders and a heart-to-heart conversation about my (not so) humble point of view on what he can expect

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 3:34:02 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jakelogan01

my reaction? arm around his shoulders and a heart-to-heart conversation about my (not so) humble point of view on what he can expect


and just out of curiosity, what would that point of view be?

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to jakelogan01)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 3:38:25 PM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

quote:

ORIGINAL: jakelogan01

my reaction? arm around his shoulders and a heart-to-heart conversation about my (not so) humble point of view on what he can expect


and just out of curiosity, what would that point of view be?


Oooo - interesting thread and yes, what Cat said !

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 3:39:32 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		People should do what they like. I don't find subs weak...including male subs.
I just don't want one myself....but don't mind them as friends.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 3:40:07 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Nope. Ignorantly attempt to associate my male dominance with some heightened degree of strength and masculinity is an insult to all submissives, regardless of gender.

For my opinion of him to change, it would be stemming from something even more ignorant like "All men are supposed to be dominant and all women are supposed to submit and suck our cocks."

Since I don't have a derogatory viewpoint of submissives or an ignorant gender-based superiority complex, I couldn't possibly imagine viewing a friend in any different light when they confessed their submissive orientation to me.


_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 3:53:30 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

For my opinion of him to change, it would be stemming from something even more ignorant like "All men are supposed to be dominant and all women are supposed to submit and suck our cocks."



Wait!  That's not true?  dang.  I knew I was doing something wrong...

***** ***** ***** **** *****

Seriously, though... I have always figured that it's not that the person has changed, it's that my access to information changed.  Generally speaking, that is how I respond when people reveal a revelation.

That said, when my niece whom I adore came out to me, I said every wrong thing in the book - did a man hurt you?  Is it a phase? did someone do this to you?  Are you sure? 

All that after I'd been openly bisexual for decades, on the board of directors of the GLBT Community Center, etc.  You never really know until you are in the situation. 

well wishes...

*by the way, I did come to my senses pretty quickly.  I just had been gay bashed myself so much and was just so sad that she was going to have to live what I knew was hard, and in small town, bible belt America.  I adore her, we are close as ever, and her partner is wonderful.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to MadRabbit)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 3:55:20 PM   
LadyTeazer


Posts: 225
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		I have heard the same thing -- that male Dom's look with disdain, or even disgust upon male submissives.  I've wondered why that is the case. 

Maybe it's that 'macho' foolishness kicking in?  That a sub male is somehow seen as less of a man, and therefore threatens the ego and image of all men in general?   *Nothing* could be further from the truth.  It takes a strong and self-confident man to submit.    "...No man stands taller in My eyes than when he drops to his knees for Me..."

This might be slightly off topic, but from the other side of the coin......    In a way, I can understand that opinion in a male Dom.   As a female Domme, I admit that at times I have a rather unflattering opinion of female subs.   Examples:  a Dom and female sub are sitting on the couch, watching TV.  He says "Go get me a beer/a glass of iced tea/a sandwich", or whatever.  And even before he has finished speaking, she jumps up and races off to the kitchen.  Or, he says "My shirts are not folded correctly" after she has spent hours doing the laundry, and she, in tears, apologizes profusely, and immediately re-folds them.   My gut reaction to a scenario like that is  "You dumb bunny.  You're not a stupid doormat.  Grow a backbone and act like you have a brain in your head."    I do not mean to offend the female subs out there.  This is just my opinion.  I know that you choose to be a sub, because that is what you enjoy.   But in certain circumstances, seeing a female behave like that (whether she is into BDSM, or is just very vanilla) really ruffles my feathers,  as I feel that all the advances women have made have just been wiped out, and we're back in 1809 instead of 2009. 

Again, no offense is intended.  This is just my perception of certain situations. 




LadyTeazer -- proud and happy Owner of  [saberwolf34]
and still a WOW - Wonderful Older Woman  

(in reply to jakelogan01)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 3:56:41 PM   
jakelogan01


Posts: 71
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

quote:

ORIGINAL: jakelogan01

my reaction? arm around his shoulders and a heart-to-heart conversation about my (not so) humble point of view on what he can expect


and just out of curiosity, what would that point of view be?


lol...thanks guys for your interest...basically what i say anyone who wants to go that route, whether male or female: be careful what you want, you may find it; it's not gold all that glitters; take your time and do your homework; ask, and in case of doubt, ask twice; play safe; good luck, if that's your call you'll be happy, and if you need help, call

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 4:02:02 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		 
Being the misunderstood male submissive that I am, I overhear the telling
conversation as I subtly work my way around the room picking up soiled 
beer mugs, half eaten pizza slices, and piles of discarded buffalo wing
bones mysteriously formed in the shape of a woman's rather large labia.

I quickly offer personally autographed copies of my best selling self-help novels,

'Men Ride You About Being A Submissive, While She's Riding You, AND?'

'How To Decipher All Those Straight Male Dominants Viewing Your Profile'

'You Tripped And Fell On His Lap Face First, That's His Story, Stick To It'

Persons whom ordered and read this book also purchased the following; 

'My Sphincter/MySelf, Anatomy Of An Asshole, In The End We All Submit'

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 4:03:16 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*snort*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to chiaThePet)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 4:09:24 PM   
BitchGoddessD


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/15/2007
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline 		*snort* *giggle* *snort*

_____________________________

A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.
Jackie Robinson

Just call me D

(in reply to chiaThePet)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 4:16:12 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		spews Her Gin and Tonic at the screen---OMG you are a delightful maniac.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 4:19:52 PM   
LadyTeazer


Posts: 225
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		**giggles**

Gotta love ya, chia!

<hugs the poor lil 'ol misunderstood male subby>




LadyTeazer -- proud and happy Owner of  [saberwolf34]
and still a WOW - Wonderful Older Woman

(in reply to BitchGoddessD)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 4:21:57 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Most submissive males are not weak..they just desire something different.

As fas as the new sub... it all depends on what face he put on before he had this revelation. If he all of a sudden changes the way he acts then he would be a different person than I knew...And I will change the way I think of him...   My change in thinking may not necessarily be bad...just different.

Butch

(in reply to BitchGoddessD)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 4:23:52 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Male subs definitely get the shortest end of the stick imo in the hetero kink world.  The trend follows the fem subs (who can be the worst at putting down male subs) and what gets them wet and excited- so males emulate that and scorn what doesn't.  It's stupid and sad.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kdsub)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 5:41:35 PM   
WiseCracknSadist


Posts: 163
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		I would look at him different. The rules would change. He would go from what I believed to be another alpha to some beta belly showing submissive. That sounds harsh but that's the image I get when I think of my buddy telling me that. Plus I'd have to get permission to hangout with him... Maybe I'm just not evolved enough for all that yet.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 5:43:06 PM   
WiseCracknSadist


Posts: 163
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		I would look at him different. The rules would change. He would go from what I believed to be another alpha to some beta belly showing submissive. That sounds harsh but that's the image I get when I think of my buddy telling me that. Plus I'd have to get permission to hangout with him... Maybe I'm just not evolved enough for all that yet.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Male Perceptions of males - 1/2/2009 5:51:00 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm totally befuddled.  I'm a straight man.  Why would another man's Dom/sub orientation affect me or concern me?

I'd feel a pang for the poor guy because he'd be one of 10 million male subs fighting for seventy Dommes, but that's it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)
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