RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM?

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hermione83 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/5/2009 9:36:14 AM)
Someone can know ones sexual preferences without having sex.. I don't understand why that's so hard to get.. I think it makes them stronger and from within. I started reading about BDSM in junior high.. But anyway... my profile talks about what I want, not who I am, my interests said what I am. I expect if I find someone who describes wanting someone who is like me I would email them and tell them how I'm like that... and if someone found mine and was exactly what I wanted, I'd expect they'd be curious enough to ask who I was. I don't like talking about myself directly, and I hate complimenting myself, and I prefer someone else to figure me out. The fact that I didn't make an advertisement doesn't mean I don't have a personality, sigh. I am pretty certain that I'm a very good compliment for the kind of man I desire. I realize most people don't have orgasms through sex, I'm not a moron. I said in my original post here that I probably couldn't have them at all but I'm hoping I'll be able to through sex eventually maybe. You never know. I have had friends tell me also that they did eventually have orgasms with sex when they didn't have them alone - it's just more rare. I want to be somewhat positive sometimes. Anyway, you all didn't read what I said. I may want to work forever, I'm well educated - what I want to do is do something I want to do with a protector behind me. Like be a missionary, and not have to spend my life worried about doing something out of survival. I've always been a straight A student but I would never dream of gambling on myself with student loans.. I used to want to be a doctor, but I just would never do that. I would need the support of a Dom. Oh, and if I get married, I won't be getting divorced... I don't believe in it. If he tries to leave me I'll just get out a weapon until he changes his mind (kidding). This is not a list of demands.. it's me looking for someone who is just like this, darnit. Sigh. If I'm so weird, and considering all the freaks I know, there has to be a few freaks around. I pay the bills - but I won't put on a coat when its 0 outside and I risk frostbite.. I don't care about myself.. I need a man to care about me. And I'll care for him even more than he cares for me in all likelihood.. I'm a ridiculously sweet person to everyone in my life, though there aren't a lot of 'em. I torture myself - I can't help it, I'm a masochist... til a good sadist comes along and orders me not to do it myself anymore. It's my life.

GreedyTop -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/5/2009 9:54:27 AM)
frankly, hermione... I cant see that any dom worth his salt is GOING to want you with things as they stand according to your profile. PLEASE get some therapy.

BondageBarbieX -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/5/2009 10:18:41 AM)
I have to admit it is one of the most disturbing profiles I have read on here,the questions in the quiz and the quiz itself are bizarre.

T1981 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/5/2009 10:21:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX I have to admit it is one of the most disturbing profiles I have read on here,the questions in the quiz and the quiz itself are bizarre. And considering the nature of this site, that says something.....agreed! It is your life, Hermoine, absolutely, and you are right in that there's gotta be at least a few people out there in the world who want exactly what you have to give, whatever that may be. So, um, go forth and suffer. Good luck.

oceanwynds -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/5/2009 10:22:03 AM)
A fable: Cinderalla does exist. Prince Charming does as well. They get married. Married life is great, he goes into the cave, tired of supporting her step mother and step sisters, and expecting to treat her like a princess. He stops communicating, because all he hears is me me me from cinderalla. Then She gets upset and blames society for all her hard luck. He stays in cave but drags by hair another person who can stand up to life in hard times and isn't busy saying fix me, help me, do this for me. He visits occassionally Cinderalla but he wears ear plugs, the drowning of me, me , me has desensitise him. But at last Cinderalla is on the computer looking for her fix of someone to come and save her. Me, Me, Me...the drumming beat keeps a playing and the Prince Charmings go to their cave, dragging by the hair someone who can stand up to life and is about Him not me, me me. End of fable.. oceanwynds

Mercnbeth -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/5/2009 10:50:47 AM)
hermione, The problem isn't the site, and the problem isn't really you, stipulating to everything in your profile and your posts reflect an accurate reflection of your ideal partner. I'd say they aren't even exceptional or bizarre. Granted, some are contradictory and mutually exclusive (For instance unless your question regarding monogamy and same sex expertise reflects a 'lust in the heart/mind'; the simple and direct are you a virgin qualifier should be enough.) but they represent your 'one true way'. A bad thing when you apply it to the masses, but down right essential when it comes to knowing yourself and a potential partner. Nobody should tell you not to shoot for what you have deemed to be the best partner for you. If you have any problem it's making them public. They'd be better to just keep in mind as you search and make the determination over time with anybody meeting some of the minimum requirements. So what is the problem? You associate this aspect of yourself "I torture myself - I can't help it, I'm a masochist.." as an indicator that you must search and label yourself submissive. Although you desire sensations that are identified with a submissive, some would say 'bottom', but that's become an archaic term; the specificity and intensity of the relationship surrounding those sensations, the 'qualifier' to be your partner; is dominance in its purest form. You are a dominant. You aren't alone in this confusion. People I've met, both before and while being in my current relationship, would suggest you are in the majority. There are just as many self labeled dominants who would look forward to serving you in this capacity. Sure, the 'virgin' at 24-36 may create a very small hole in the sifting process, but again - depends upon your definition of 'virgin'. Recent studies have pointed to situations where people have anal, oral, done laps in a kiddie pool filled with cum and pee, and every other kind of sex; except penis entering vagina and consider themselves 'virgins'. Technically correct, but either a rationalization or hypocrisy depending upon the pronoun used. For instance, someone who lists an affinity to 'vibrators' is a rationalized virgin unless the 'like' refers to them as artistic 'knick-knacks' that you display around your room or apartment. Simply put, you want someone to qualify and earn the right to 'own' you under specific conditions. Regardless of what they are and what other people think of them, that is a GREAT starting point. Take away the contradictions and leave more to be discovered over coffee, decaf if caffeine is a 'sin'. Good luck in your search - Have Faith!

CountrySong -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/5/2009 11:48:21 AM)
"I torture myself - I can't help it, I'm a masochist... til a good sadist comes along and orders me not to do it myself anymore. I've gotten very very unhealthy, physically and mentally and it's changed me permanently. I look/feel dead" Hermione - I took you list of demands and sent it out to some of the subs and doms I know on a few the Christian BDSM groups. The response was simple - you have set yourself up to fail and you need to start praying about what you want out of life. I was in a simular situation to yours in early life with one exception. I lost my virginity at age 9 to a guy who was into BDSM and it messed me up for a while since I came from a strict traditional Christian background. After I was out of that situation I did not have sex with any guy or girl until I was 22. I was trying to be perfect! In the mean time I was beating myself up emotionally over my desires. Christ never asked that of us. You are right to be upfront about your desires as listed in your profile - ass play, breast play, bondage, enimas, ect. I'm on this site because I know from experience that no traditional Christian is going to accept my past or my desires. That was one of the reasons my first marrage ended. Oh hearing about them made her hot and wet but it also made me less than perfect in her eyes because she had to admit that she had some of those same desires and that made her less than the perfect Christian she wanted to be. Simply put - YOU AND I ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE MATE FOR A TRADITIONAL CHRISTIAN. (Just your love of ass play is enough to convict you in a traditional Christian church!) Which is what you profess to seek but my guess is that you simply want to confirm some feeling in yourself that tells you you are not worthy and in so doing hurt yourself more. That is foolish and you will have to answer for waisting your energy in that manner instead of using it in the service of him who you call lord. (I wish my granny was still around. She'd go down there an kick you butt into gear.) I also beleive that you need to reread the parable of the talents. (Matthew 25:14-46 i think) You seem to be hiding the talents God gave you and your ability to make a real difference in this world. Remember you will be held accountable if you don't beleive that reread Matthew 25:29-46. Also check out the proverbs 31:10-31 for the definition of a virtuous woman and ask yourself - "Are you her?" If not step up to the plate and become her. A lot of this sounds like your failure, pain, and embarasment blocking your life and dreams. Christ does not want you to be miserable but he is not going to give you something you are unworthy of and will waste. You need to lower the walls you have placed up that keep you from living a life of joy. Focus on the teaching of Christ instead of the teachings of Paul and you will be happier. You might also want to expand you Christian readings to include the non-traditional Christian paths. Remember 1 man decided what traditional Christains would believe and it was not Christ or Paul for that manner. Anything he did not like was eliminated. You are foolishly limiting yourself and your options. Good luck and peace.

CountrySong -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/5/2009 11:59:18 AM)
Oh I forgot this - "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Mt 5:27-28) How can any adult male not have looked at a woman with lust in his heart and in so doing "commited adultery"? I fsomeone commits adultery how can they still be a virgin? I don't think your guy exists and your just hurting yourself when you could be helping others with someone real and flawed who does exist and could love you.

Roguescharm -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/5/2009 1:33:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 Someone can know ones sexual preferences without having sex.. I don't understand why that's so hard to get.. I think it makes them stronger and from within. I started reading about BDSM in junior high.. But anyway... my profile talks about what I want, not who I am, my interests said what I am. I expect if I find someone who describes wanting someone who is like me I would email them and tell them how I'm like that... and if someone found mine and was exactly what I wanted, I'd expect they'd be curious enough to ask who I was. I don't like talking about myself directly, and I hate complimenting myself, and I prefer someone else to figure me out. The fact that I didn't make an advertisement doesn't mean I don't have a personality, sigh. I am pretty certain that I'm a very good compliment for the kind of man I desire. I realize most people don't have orgasms through sex, I'm not a moron. I said in my original post here that I probably couldn't have them at all but I'm hoping I'll be able to through sex eventually maybe. You never know. I have had friends tell me also that they did eventually have orgasms with sex when they didn't have them alone - it's just more rare. I want to be somewhat positive sometimes. Anyway, you all didn't read what I said. I may want to work forever, I'm well educated - what I want to do is do something I want to do with a protector behind me. Like be a missionary, and not have to spend my life worried about doing something out of survival. I've always been a straight A student but I would never dream of gambling on myself with student loans.. I used to want to be a doctor, but I just would never do that. I would need the support of a Dom. Oh, and if I get married, I won't be getting divorced... I don't believe in it. If he tries to leave me I'll just get out a weapon until he changes his mind (kidding). This is not a list of demands.. it's me looking for someone who is just like this, darnit. Sigh. If I'm so weird, and considering all the freaks I know, there has to be a few freaks around. I pay the bills - but I won't put on a coat when its 0 outside and I risk frostbite.. I don't care about myself.. I need a man to care about me. And I'll care for him even more than he cares for me in all likelihood.. I'm a ridiculously sweet person to everyone in my life, though there aren't a lot of 'em. I torture myself - I can't help it, I'm a masochist... til a good sadist comes along and orders me not to do it myself anymore. It's my life. If you don't care about yourself, how can you expect anybody else to? It sounds cliche but it is true, people tend to see the worth you put on yourself. Also, being aware of and owning up to your own assets is no bad thing, it ties into the above question. If you can't see them and let them show how can you expect anybody else to?

goodgirlC -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/6/2009 12:51:16 PM)
Hi Hermione - I haven't read all the responses, so someone else might've suggested this guy - but I remember a profile for a male Dom that's still a virgin - he's 37, and he's looked at my profile before, but I'm not interested - I like sex a lot, can't imagine waiting a long time without it - but you two might be perfect for each other :) I think he still lives with his parents. It's a little creepy to me, but you might think he's wonderful! I'm not sure if I'm allowed to put someone else's profile name here. But he's in Tennessee, and he's 37. You can do a search and find him, he has the word "wife" in his profile. Good luck!

hermione83 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/6/2009 2:54:27 PM)
I really appreciate it - but I'm 25 and I manage to live hours away from my parents and all alone I dunno if a 37 year old dom guy who is living with mum and dad sounds like a good idea, but I did actually look to see, but I couldn't find him.. =\

xwanderlustx -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/6/2009 3:10:28 PM)
I haven't read all of the other pages, but I just wanted to put my two cents in. I met my husband/dominant 5 years ago on alt.com, when I was about to turn 19. So it can definitely happen! I had to weed through all of the crap profiles to find him, but you just have to be patient. I got really lucky... He somehow managed to sneak his AIM s/n on there (still don't know how he got away with that one on a free profile!), and he happened to be online at that exact moment. We talked for a while online and on the phone, met in person that weekend, and have been together every moment since. I guess you could say it was love at first instant message. :) So yes, I know I was extremely lucky to find him so early in life, but don't give up! Magic does happen!

xwanderlustx -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/7/2009 10:42:04 AM)
Erm... After reading the other pages and your profile, I have to detract a little from my hopeful post above. Yes, it absolutely can happen that you meet the love of your life on sites like this. However, you must love and respect yourself before you can EVER truly love and respect another person, whether you're dominant, submissive, or neither. This may be harsh, and many other people have said this, but it seems to me like you need serious therapy. And saying "I'm not going to change, it just won't happen" is nothing but a pathetically lazy excuse. After everything I've gathered from your posts and profile, I can't understand why anyone who wasn't abusive and/or mentally imbalanced would want anything to do with you. GET HELP! Side note - It is absolutely possible to have multiple orgasms through sex. I seriously doubt that the "majority" of women don't have orgasms during sex. Unless it's a medical or mental condition, your partner just has to know what they're doing. I orgasm every time at least once with my husband, with that very rarely including clitoral stimulation. He may just be gifted, but I'm pretty sure all it takes is a little education and effort.

lighthearted -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/7/2009 3:09:53 PM)
I generally avoid trainwreck threads and keep my snarkiness to myself. but... quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 I don't care about myself.. I need a man to care about me. sweetheart, what you need is an anti-depressant. and I'm not kidding.

hermione83 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/7/2009 6:46:02 PM)
sweetheart, what you need is an anti-depressant. and I'm not kidding. quote: I tried like 10 of them and therapy. They told me I had no organic kind of depression and I was wasting their time just fyi, yes, I'm just so screwed up that I need a human being. Sorry I don't fall into the new age theories, but you can care and dote on other people without doing the same for yourself. It's the way it's supposed to be - people, taking care of each other. I'm more fragile than others. It doesn't make me crazy, it makes me born into the wrong era and an oddity.. etc..

mc1234 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/7/2009 8:45:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 Sorry I don't fall into the new age theories, but you can care and dote on other people without doing the same for yourself. It's the way it's supposed to be - people, taking care of each other. I'm more fragile than others. It doesn't make me crazy, it makes me born into the wrong era and an oddity.. etc.. Did you ever hear the old axiom "No one's happy if the Mom's not happy?" It translates into any circumstance, not just parenthood. If the caregiver is not whole and relatively at peace, no one in his/her care is going to feel balanced either. I understand anti-depressants not working. But you've got to do something to shake this... make friends, pick a hobby, take a walk, get involved at your church, volunteer at an old folk's home - anything to take the focus off of you, to teach you how it truly feels to care for yourself and others, and become healthy and whole enough to welcome a relationship when it appears before you.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/7/2009 8:48:40 PM)
I've actually met all the Dominants who've been in my life long term and in a meaningful way from alt.com. All though I do think alt sucks, and I'd never recommend it for more than a source of entertainment. quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 I haven't had any luck on CM. I know that alt isn't for me judging by the pics, and I got about 2 emails ever on bondage. Well not no luck on CM , but just not enough. Any better or similar luck in finding a permanent D/s partner on any other sites, and which ones please? My new years resolution is to try really hard to find someone and find them or move on with wanting a Dom/man and accept being single for the rest of my life. Thanks for the help.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/7/2009 9:06:17 PM)
Could be worse, she could be saying find someone or she will kill herself. Daddies mom lives with family because she's pretty much an invalid, who won't allow home health care programs to come see about her, and she hates it and she says if she does not have her own place by February she is going to kill herself. And this women is mentally ill and does have a past track record of suicide attempts. She's not joking. She really does feel if she can't go back to lake county, and can't have her own place, she may as well die. Now maybe it's a bit dramatic to say you'll be alone forever if you don't find someone this year, but that's better by far than other ultimatums. quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 You're only 25 and you've decided that if you don't find a dom this year you are going to be alone forever? I know its hard to be patient but when a person develops a very strong idea of what precisely they want then it usually takes awhile. Have you tried regular dating sites that don't revolve around BDSM? People meet from all sorts of places, online and offline.

cougar11 -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/7/2009 9:27:08 PM)
hey I spent the money to meet a couple of ladies on ALT near me...posers - the three I have meet here on cm had similar desires and were honest in those most intimate areas...a couple lied about weight big time but that happens everywhere I like cm, lots of good people here: fuck the sex so to speak..heart healthy soul warming to meet fellow wanders in a strange land....I paid for ALT it is not what I need. this site is free! and I would count any coin well spent to be ferried here on cm among kindred spirits..../quit whining - thank the stars - I've met three ladies here ..we did not click ...face to face.. but each had her own special flavor and we all shared a common goal..that is EXTREMELY fucking rare alt aff yahhoopres matchcom and OMFG EHARM cannot compare...so please..everyone..write to CM and thank them

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Has anyone had better luck with sites other than CM? (1/7/2009 9:50:28 PM)
Probably cause he goes and pops all the cherries of virgins and is well known for it. Either that or he himself is a virgin. One of these days in life you're going to have to decide weather you want to be a nervous Nelly or go and do something about being shy and refusing to come out of your shell. Untilyou decide I am fairly confident it's safe to say, you're just going to sit there and waste away and never get anything you want in life, because you have to be willing to be out there and be seen, at least some of the time. And I don't want to sound to harsh, but you know what if life passes you by and you never find happyness or fufillment it'll entirely your own fault quote: ORIGINAL: hermione83 Singles groups? What is that? I can't even imagine. I can't even talk about having relationships to other people in person, it makes me super shy. I won't tell my family I'm dating unless I'm engaged and I'm sure it's working out, don't want everyone looking at me like I'm a failure and all (again). I actually went to a party on new year's and my drunken friends called up some guy they called "virgin dave" (not sure if that was a joke, or not) and said some single girl is here and he should come over and get laid, and I was saying NO NO NO SHUT UP in the back ground do not bring over single friends, and turning bright red, and my friend's husband apologized for embarrassing me. I am now really curious why he was called virgin Dave. Oh well.. sigh.. I'm just too shy for the whole people know someone kind of dating... thing (and it was coworkers, not real friends, and no they don't know/think I'm a virgin.. just the only one there alone)

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