rabinyaZharovna
Posts: 106
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
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I think it is rare. I think what is more common is the downhill slide. I read on here alot about how Dominance doesn't have to be overt and how those feelings are always there etc. I understand this, but for me, I need the overt to keep me in place. It's been referrenced here recently that many acts become common place to us and this is certainly true for me, but that is exactly why overt things are important for me. For example, my Master requires his laundry be folded a particular way... a way that is absolutely different than I'd ever done. In the beginning it took alot of thought and learning on my part and it took him being a stickler for me to really get it done right... new and fresh etc. Fast forward to now, do I even think about how I fold his laundry or that I do it according to his specifics? Nope... I just do the laundry... it has become engrained. Pile a few of these items up.. laundry, how I cook dinner, how I put things away etc... there are countless acts a day that I do without recognizing that I even do them. With that recognition sliding away, my sense of enslavement also slides. If I have to concentrate on those things in order to feel enslaved, well then I start feeling like I am really enslaving myself. Let's face it, lots of women in "regular vanilla" relationships do those things for their husbands so what exactly is setting this relationship apart from those? I start feeling more like a somewhat submissive wife with a kinky sex life than a slave who worhsips her Master.
Enter the overt acts: Having to always crawl in the bedroom, or always be naked with cuffs when doing chores, or any of those types of acts make it impossible for me to mistake this relationship for a vanilla one. These acts never become mundane or ordinary to me. I don't have to focus on them or remind myself that I do them or anything else. They are the tangible everyday things that cement my slavery in my mind. It takes work on his part, it takes making certain he doesn't become complacent or lazy. It takes thought and effort. Laid back doesn't work for me, stickler, strong, on my ass, is what evokes my worship. My sense of enslavement is reactionary and is directly proportional to what he is actively pulling from within me. So if I have to focus myself on my sense of enslavement, well then I'm not really going to feel enslaved.
I spoke with enough men and tried on enough relationships to realize that most men get a bit... complacent about it all. I have enough friends who are submissives and slaves that are continuously struggling with that downhill slide to think otherwise. What I have seen is alot of Dominants/Masters who don't understand that enslavement is not a set state of being, but rather one that has to be constantly evoked. The same is true of a deep sense of submission... atleast in my experience. The D side of the coin recognizing the importance of making certain it never feels simply ordinary and putting forth the great effort it requires to make certain there isn't a downhill slide, in my experience, is very rare.
Of course this is all based on my inner workings and I have zero experience with women who are on the D side (So that may all be quite different) and countless people may write this off as all wrong and I'm pretty okay with that :) Just my two cents on it... feel free to chuck them out the window!
rz{PF}
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In making me nothing, He makes me everything
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RE: is it a rarity - 
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